The Revenant
by shelly.hoffer.7
Summary: Part two in the Hotch/Kahlan line. The BAU has got itself one sick unsub. Hotch and his team work hard to find him, but when he sets his sights on Hotch, things get really scary. Sequel to The Children are Missing - set three years into the future.
1. Chapter 1

****As always, I do not own Criminal Minds – If I did, the whole team would be available for all of us fanfiction geeks to meet. **

_**The Revenant**_

**Chapter 1**

Hotch pulled into the driveway. The boys were riding their skateboards and practicing on the ramp he had made for them at the beginning of summer. Joey was running through the sprinkler while Kahlan was lying on a lounge chair, reading a book. "Daddy!" Joey yelled and ran up and hugged his legs. He felt his pants get wet as she pressed her little body up against him.

He picked the three year old up. "How's Daddy's little angel?" He asked and headed over to Kahlan.

"Wet," she told him with a smile. Her dimples showed with the wide grin and Hotch's heart skipped a beat. Her big brown eyes smiled as much as her mouth did. Hotch's alpha stirred because he loved having a daughter who look like him.

"Yeah, I can tell," he told as he leaned down to give Kahlan a kiss.

"Hey, Hun," Kahlan greeted him and smiled at how wet his suit was.

Hotch turned around as he heard the scratching of skateboard wheels. "Hey guys."

"Dad, you've got to see this gnarly new trick Jack mastered," Wyatt told him with a smile as he took off his helmet. He shook his long hair and sweat flung everywhere.

"Really, Wyatt?" Kahlan yelled as she jumped up to avoid being hit.

"Oh, sorry," Wyatt said sheepishly.

Hotch sat Joey down and picked up the sprinkler. He unhooked the hose and sprayed Wyatt. "You know, for being so intelligent, you sure do have some dumb moments," Hotch told him with a smile as Wyatt just stood there and enjoyed the cold water. Jack started laughing and Hotch sprayed him, too. Wyatt was already a foot taller than Jack and almost as tall as his mother. Hotch finally put the hose down. "Show me your trick, Buddy."

Jack rubbed the water off his face and jumped on his skateboard. He speed it up as he hit the ramp. When he jumped into the air, he somehow flipped the board around twice and landed on it easily and continued down the driveway. Hotch shook his head. Jack was really turning into a great skater. "That's awesome. How many times did it take to master it?"

Jack beamed. "Just two."

Wyatt shook his head. "And I still can't do it, and I've been trying all day."

Hotch smiled at him. Wyatt was already getting thick with muscles, but Jack was built like Hotch, which made him more agile. "Well, your better at football. There's nothing wrong with you guys being better at different things." Anymore, it seemed like the only thing the boys were equal at was soccer.

"Yeah, just wait until Joey's older, she'll kick both of your butts at everything," Kahlan joked with them.

"Teach me, Wy," Joey said as she climbed onto Wyatt's skateboard. Wyatt smiled and grabbed her hands and led her around on the board.

"I'm going to start dinner. You all have thirty minutes, then get cleaned up and dry before you come in the house," Kahlan told them and went inside.

"You guys got Joey?" Hotch asked them.

"Sure, Dad." Wyatt said with a smile.

Hotch went inside to help Kahlan. He snuck up behind her in the kitchen.

"If you think you are going to hug me and try to get me wet, I need to warn you, I have a knife in my hand," she told him without even turning around.

Hotch froze. _Damn you! I will get you one time, I promise!_ "I wouldn't think of it," he lied.

She turned around and smiled at him. "The day Aaron Hotchner sneaks up on me is the day I retire."

"You are retired."

"Oh yeah," she told him with a kiss.

He shook his head. "I'm going to change since your daughter got me all wet."

"She's more your daughter than she is mine," she joked.

He smiled as he walked upstairs. _That's right!_

**XXXXX**

In Baltimore, a man was grilling hotdogs on a park grill as his family played. He was so intent on the task in front of him that he didn't notice a man come up behind him. "Dogs are. . ." the man started to say but was cut off as a something hit him in a the back of his left knee and his throat was cut. The killer let the man's body fall to ground and walked away.

"Tom?" a woman called as she looked for her husband. She went to the grill. The hotdogs were burning. She screamed as she saw her husband's body lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

**XXXXX**

The next day, Garcia was in Hotch's office showing him a few case files from police departments who were asking for consults on cases. Hotch was reading over them and assigning them to his team members. "If this one escalates, they may need to ask us to come out and help," he told Garcia as he read about a serial rapist in Washington State.

"Ok," Garcia said as she made a notation on her tablet.

"Let Morgan have this one," he said handing her another file.

And they spent another 30 minutes dividing the cases up.

Hotch spent the rest of the day catching up on paperwork.

**XXXXX**

A group of kids from a branch of the YMCA were visiting the inner harbor. One boy was looking at a giant anchor on display. As soon as the chaperone looked back to see the boy, she screamed. The boy was lying in a pool of blood; his throat cut.

**XXXXX**

The next day, the team was called out to Louisiana to help with a child abduction case. Two little girls had already been found dead. They had been raped and there was another girl who had come up missing that morning. The profilers hit the ground running because they knew time was of the essence.

**XXXXX**

That evening five friends were enjoying themselves at a club in Baltimore. They were all on the dance floor having a blast. They were all getting drunk to celebrate one of the girls' birthday. A dark haired woman left the group to go to the restroom. She never returned, and she was found with her throat cut in the hallway leading to the restrooms.

**XXXXX**

It was 1:00am when Hotch finally got to his hotel room. He picked up his phone to call Kahlan, she never cared when he called, she was always willing to let him talk or just let him tell goodnight. Once the kids were in bed, she put her cell on vibrate and kept it on her nightstand in case he called. "Hey," Hotch told her when she answered.

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. This son of a bitch had already killed two little girls."

She knew any case involving kids upset him. "You can't let it keep you up, Aaron. You'll do your job better if you get some sleep. Trust in yourself and your team; you guys are the best."

He sighed heavily. "I know, it's just. . ."

"It's what?" She asked after she realized he wasn't going to continue.

"Nothing."

"Don't give me that shit, Aaron. I think I know you a little better than that."

He chuckled weakly. "Yeah, I guess you do."

She could tell something was really bothering him. "Tell me."

"One of the little girls looked an awful lot like Joey."

"Oh, Aaron. I'm so sorry. Do you want to talk to her? She'd love to talk to her daddy."

"No. Don't wake her up as late as it is."

"She'll go right back to sleep. If you need this, then let her help."

He smiled at how understanding and supportive Kahlan was. They'd been married for over three years, but she still never ceased to amaze him. Before he could say anything, though, a sleepy little voice came over the phone.

"Daddy?"

"Hey angel. I'm sorry mommy woke you up."

"No. Me love talkin to my Daddy."

Hotch smiled. "I love talking to my little angel, too."

"You wanna hear my ABC song?"

Hotch listened to her and felt some of the tightness in his chest loosen. Kahlan was right, of course, he did need this. After a few more minutes, he told her he loved her and wished her goodnight. After a few moments Kahlan came back on the line. "You are an amazing woman, Kahlan Hotchner."

She could hear the difference in his voice and she smiled. "I try," she joked. "I understand the bond between father and daughter; remember I do have two sons."

He laughed. "Yeah, now I think I finally understand it."

"You better try to get some sleep."

"Yeah. I love you."

"I love you, too. Good luck and be safe."

"Yes Ma'am," he told her and hung up. He sank back on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

XXX

With renewed vigor, Hotch and his team narrowed down the suspects, and by the next evening they were hunting their unsub.

**XXXXX**

A man was waiting at the back of the line to purchase movie tickets. Once the box office was open the line moved quickly. Someone in the crowd screamed as soon as the man's body was noticed. His throat was cut.

**XXXXX**

The next morning Hotch and the team were on the jet. They were going home in a good mood because they found their unsub and saved the little girl. Once they got home and after closing the case files, Hotch was heading out of the bullpen thankful for being able to go home. Rossi caught up with him. "Mind if I join you?" Rossi asked with a smile.

Hotch smiled back. Rossi had been spending a lot of his off time with Hotch and his family, and everyone loved it. "Please, Joey would kill me if she ever found out I told you 'no'."

Rossi smiled wider at the thought of his God daughter. "Actually I was thinking about Kahlan's cooking," he told him as they got in the elevator.

Hotch raised his brows. "Let me guess, she texted you and told you she was fixing Italian."

Rossi smiled, apparently Kahlan hadn't texted Hotch. "Nope, not Italian," he told him as the elevator opened and went to his car.

Hotch walked to his car still looking at Rossi. Rossi just smiled and got in his without another word.

"That's not fair," Hotch told him as Rossi backed up and rolled down his window to look at Hotch.

"I can't help it if she loves me more." He put the car in drive and took off, he left Hotch standing there shaking his head.

XXX

"Poppi!" Joey yelled as soon as she saw Rossi come in the door. She ran to him and jumped into his arms.

"Have you grown since the last time I was here?" Rossi asked her as he carried her into the kitchen. She giggled.

He reached into his pocket and took out a Sweet Tart and gave it to her. She giggled even more. She knew that he always carried her favorite candy in his pocket. "A Sweet Tart for my sweet heart."

"Dave. If you don't stop spoiling that child she's going to become an even bigger handful," Kahlan told him as he went up and gave her a kiss on the check.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child, and all that stuff."

"Where's Aaron?" she asked him but heard the door open. "Never mind."

Hotch went straight to the kitchen. His dimples showed as he looked at Kahlan and lifted the lid on the crockpot and reached in a stole a piece of the roast.

"Get out of there. It's not even done yet," Kahlan told him.

"It's done enough," Hotch told her as he sucked air in his mouth to help lower the temperature of the meat.

"You're worse than one of the boys," she told him as she laughed.

XXX

"Hey, my lovely crime fighters, I am really sorry to call you guys back in here tonight," she started.

"And we're not going to like what you are about to tell us," JJ pointed out. They could tell by Garcia's tone that the case was going to be difficult.

"Baltimore has got itself one slippery serial killer."

Hotch's brow furrowed. "Is this about the guy who got his throat cut?"

"Yes, but he's not the only one. There have been three more killings. You should have the files on your tablets, now." She said as she typed and brought up pictures on the screen. "First is Tom Calhun, that's the one Hotch talked about. He was with his family in the park." She went on to tell them about the other victims.

"They were all killed in public places and no one saw anything?" Morgan asked.

"There are mixed reports. One witness thought he saw a young black man. Another saw three Hispanic guys, and one old lady swears she saw a teenage girl," Garcia informed them.

"So, they basically have nothing," JJ pointed out.

"No, sorry. They do have all of the bodies at the city morgue. And the lead detective will be waiting for you at the station."

Hotch looked at the faces of his team. "Morgan, you and JJ go check out the latest crime scene. Reid and Blake, you two go to the station and start on victimology."

"I've started my search, and so far I can't find any connections between the victims. I will keep looking, though," Garcia cut in.

"Dave and I will go to the morgue." They all nodded.

"He doesn't have any preference in his victims. He crosses age, gender, socioeconomics, and race," Blake stated the obvious.

"Just what we need, another God damned omnivore," Rossi said disgustedly.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

"No, Aaron, they did not send you all out again without letting you spend one night at home first," Kahlan told him.

Hotch had called her to let her know what was going on while on the way to the morgue with Rossi. "We're just going to Baltimore; I should be able to drive home tonight."

"No you won't; you'll be too tired to drive, and I don't want you to try. But if you're not going to be home tomorrow night, you best have a laptop ready for the kids to video chat with you."

"I will," he told her. "Well, I better go. Give my little Angel a kiss and tell the boys to behave."

She laughed. "More like give the boys a kiss and tell Joey to behave. Your daughter is getting sneaky."

It was his turn to laugh. "She gets that from you." He chuckled as he imagined her sneaking through the house to spy on her brothers. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Good luck and be safe," she hung up.

He smiled at her normal sign off.

"She mad?" Rossi asked; it would surprise him if she was.

"Nope," Hotch told him as he put his phone back in his pocket.

Rossi smiled. He wished one of his wives could have been that understanding of his job.

Hotch pulled up the city coroner's building; the morgue was in the basement. They got out and showed their badges and the medical examiner met them in the morgue. She had all four victims laid out on the tables. There were two tables left over. Rossi silently hoped that they wouldn't be needed.

"All four victims had their throats cuts cleanly by a sharp blade that I estimate to be around six inches long," she explained. "The cuts actually go all the way through to the cervical spine. Cause of death is exsanguination."

Hotch and Rossi examine the bodies closely. "Looks like a typical sentry removal technique. He probably has a military background," Hotch told them.

"There's something else, too." The doctor started and went to the last victim. He was lying face down on her table. "They all have a circular bruise behind their left knee," she told them as she pointed out the bruise. It was only about two and a half inches in diameter.

"Can you guess as to the type of weapon used to make it?" Rossi asked her.

"Only that it was hard and blunt."

"It could be he uses a blitz attack to the knee to subdue them and then reaches around and cuts their throats," Rossi suggested.

Hotch considered it for a moment. "He kills so quickly that he isn't even seen by witnesses, I don't think a blitz attack is part of his MO. I think the two are done simultaneously."

"Well, whatever it is, it is done with enough force to cause a deep hematoma."

Hotch and Rossi thanked the doctor and left to go to the station to meet up with Reid and Blake.

XXX

Morgan and JJ walked around the sidewalk in front of the movie theater. There was police tape up and a cone to mark where the body of the last victim was found. "So I'm just minding my own business, waiting in line to buy tickets, and somebody just walks up and slices my throat."

"I can't believe no one saw anything. This close to the road, someone had to see something. We need to do a press conference and ask for public assistance. Someone, somewhere has seen this unsub," JJ told him.

Morgan agreed and they got back into their SUV and headed to the station.

XXX

Reid and Blake were setting up the boards with pictures of the victims and crime scene photos. Hotch and Rossi joined them in the conference room the Baltimore PD had loaned them. One victim for each of the last four days, and they were all expecting a new one anytime. They knew this killer would not stop on his own. Morgan and JJ arrived and JJ talked to Hotch about a press conference. The people needed to be warned, and they needed the public's help if they were going to have a chance of catching the killer. Hotch agreed, but before JJ could get it set up, another victim was found. They all headed out to the crime scene.

The victim was a homeless woman. She was lying in a dirty alley. There was something new at that scene, though. Scrawled on a dumpster next to the woman were the words 'The Revenant'.

"And what does that mean?" Morgan asked Reid.

"A revenant is someone or something that has come back from the dead," Reid explained.

"So what? This guy is telling us he was dead and now he's back?" JJ asked.

"It may not be a literal definition," Hotch mused.

"Well, if he's officially dead, that's going to make him harder to find," Blake pointed out.

"Could he be copying a serial killer from the past?" Blake asked.

"The most famous serial killer who slit peoples' throats was Jack the Ripper," Reid explained. "There haven't been many in the states that specialize with throat cutting; however, there was one in Columbia. Louis Garavito killed over a hundred people by slicing their throats, but he also raped, tortured, and dismembered his victims."

"Well, since he's named himself, we can assume he's narcissistic," Rossi mused.

"Apparently he wasn't getting enough attention. Now the press will have a field day," Morgan told them.

"But we won't give him what he wants," Hotch told them. He turned to the detective. "Who has seen this?"

"Just us and the officer who found her."

"Good. I don't want this leaked to the press." The detective nodded and went to speak to the officer who had found the woman. "Go ahead and set up your press conference. We need people to be aware that they are being hunted," Hotch told JJ and headed for the SUV.

Within an hour, JJ had the press inside of the station. She explained that there was a serial killer lose in Baltimore, and warned the public to be aware of their surroundings. She also pleaded for anyone with information to call the tip line they had set up.

"Why do you think the killer is calling himself 'The Revenant'?" A reporter asked. Instantly Hotch and Morgan maneuvered around the crowd to the doors at the back of the room. They would stop him before he left.

"I don't know what you're talking about. There has been nothing to suggest the name of the killer." The man was about to say something else, but JJ spoke up again. "That will be all for now," she told them and moved away for the podium.

The reporters slowly made their way out of the room. Hotch noticed the man who asked about the name was trying to make his way to JJ. Rossi stepped up to JJ's side as the reporter stopped and waited for the room to empty. "I received a letter from the killer," he told her as Hotch and Morgan came up beside him.

"What? How could not bring it to police?" JJ asked him.

"I wasn't sure if was the real thing or not, that's why I asked about the name."

"Where's the letter?" Hotch asked him.

The man reached into his satchel and withdrew a letter. It was in a clear plastic baggie. He handed it to Hotch. "Are you the only one to touch it?"

"Yes. It came to me directly." He reached into his satchel again. "Here's the envelope."

Rossi took that and noticed it was mail right there in Baltimore two days prior.

Hotch read the letter. The writer challenged the police to catch him. He promised to kill one person a day for the first week, then two people on the eight day, three people on the ninth and escalate every day until he is caught. He had signed it 'The Revenant'. Hotch sighed deeply. He gave the letter to Reid. "Get it copied and get it to the lab." Reid took it and the envelope. Hotch turned to the reporter. "If you mention the name or the letter, you are going to start a panic."

"So it is real. You've seen the name?"

"No, but we have to look at every lead," Hotch lied.

"But you just told the public to be aware, isn't that going to scare people?"

"Telling them to be aware is different than telling them someone has promised to kill more people every day," JJ told him.

The reporter considered that. "I won't mention it for now," he told them.

"Come with me," Blake told him. With his questioning look, she told him they needed his finger prints to exclude his from anyone else's that may be on the letter.

Once the reporter was gone, the team went back to the conference room. Once the door was shut, Hotch told them what the letter had said.

"This guy has balls." Morgan said.

"I just love the 'catch me if you can' unsubs," JJ said sarcastically.

"Or it's all BS and he's just trying to scare the public," Rossi offered.

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose. So far they had no real witnesses, no forensic evidence, no suspects, and no leads except a name that was ambiguous. _We've got nothing!_ "It's strange he doesn't give a reason why," Hotch told them. "But with the lack of anything concrete, the body count will rise quickly."

"Let's just hope we catch a break before the end of the week," Rossi told him with a pat on the shoulder.

"Are we ready to give a profile?" Blake asked when she came into the room.

"Yes. Tell them we will give it in fifteen minutes," Hotch told her. Even if they didn't have any leads, they still had the profile, and they had caught unsubs using only the profile before.

XXX

"Our unsub is a white male, between the age of 25 and 45," Rossi started.

"He is physically fit and it is possible he has a military background," Morgan continued.

"He blends in. There is nothing outstanding or remarkable in his looks. People have seen this man, but look right past him. That is why we don't have any witnesses," Hotch told them. "He is calm and calculating. He doesn't plan these attacks, these are victims of opportunity."

"So you're saying that he just walks around and when he sees a person he thinks he can kill, he does it?" An officer asks them.

"Exactly," Rossi tells him.

"Then how are we ever going to catch this guy?" Another officer asked.

"By being out there and being vigilant," Morgan told him.

"That's why we have appealed to the public. Someone has seen this man, and we hope someone will come forward," JJ told them.

XXX

At 9:23 Hotch sent the team to a hotel for the night. They weren't getting anything constructive done; they could only go over the things they had so many times. After he took off his suit jacket and splashed water on his face, he took out his phone to call his wife. Before he had a chance, though, his phone went off. "What have you got, Garcia?"

"There were prints on the letter, sir."

Hotch stood up straighter. "And you know who's?"

"A man by the name of Demitri Mordecai. I've started searching him and the first thing that came up was a death certificate from 2000. How can a dead man's finger prints end up on a letter?"

"That's what we'll have to figure out. Go ahead and compile everything you can on him. I'll call you in the morning when were ready for it."

"Yes, sir." He could hear her typing and then the called ended.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Aaron Hotchner, you did not just call me!" Kahlan said a little harshly.

"What? It's not even ten yet," Hotch tried to defend himself, but he wasn't really sure why.

"What were you supposed to do tonight?"

_Oh shit!_ He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I totally forgot. Are they still up?" He asked finally remembering he had promised to video chat with the kids.

"It's a school night, what do you think?"

In his mind he flashed back to all of the promises he had made to Haley and young Jack. All of the broken promises from the man he had worked hard to get past. He was mentally beating himself up when he heard his laptop ding. He walked over to it and smiled as accepted the video chat. There on the screen were Wyatt and Jack and Joey apparently sitting on both of the boys' laps. He talked with them for about ten minutes and then Kahlan came on.

She laughed at the look he gave her. "What? It's not like they stay up late every night."

"I am sorry. I completely forgot."

"Well, when you forget something like that because you're sitting on your ass doing nothing, then I can be mad. When you forget because the case you're working is a bad one, well, the only one to blame for that is the unsub who's keeping you away from home."

He smiled and his dimples made her miss him more. "How did I get so lucky to have a wife like you?"

"It's those damn dimples. They bring me to my knees every time."

He laughed and his dimples showed even more.

"Stop that or I won't be able to sleep tonight!"

He immediately turned on his Hotch stare. "Better?"

She smiled and sighed. "Actually, no. You're pretty damn hot when you're mad, too."

He shook his head. "You're incorrigible!"

"Yep, and that's why you love me."

"Yeah, one of the reasons."

They talked for a while longer and then she finally made him sign off and go to bed. He tried to go to sleep, but the unsub's letter with promises to kill more and more people wouldn't stay out of his head.

**XXXXX**

Demitri Mordecai looked over the pictures he had taken at the press conference. He had pictures of all of the detectives and the newly arrived FBI agents. He picked up the close ups of their badges and started to research their names.

**XXXXX**

As promised, another body was found in a grocery store the next day. There wasn't one witness, and the security camera had been broke for a week. Hotch shook his head as he looked at the scene. The unsub had written 'The Revenant' on the floor next to the old man's body using the man's blood. Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose. They weren't any closer to finding the unsub now than when they first joined the case.

Garcia had found that Demitri Mordecai had lived a normal life. A perfect life really, and he died in a plane crash in 2000. They had no idea how his finger prints ended up on the letter. It was just another piece of the unsolvable puzzle. Something was telling Hotch that they were missing something, but he just couldn't figure it out. With no rhyme or reason to the killings, Hotch thought the only way they were ever going to catch the guy was to actually catch him in the act, and in a city the size of Baltimore, that was next to impossible.

By six o'clock that evening, the whole team was in a bad mood. No leads and knowing they only had one more day until the bodies really started piling up, was really starting to wear on them. Hotch got a text telling him to get his team to the bar just down the street. He smiled. Of course Kahlan would show up and expect them to take a break from it all. _Maybe that's exactly what we need,_ he thought with a smile and herded everyone down there.

He walked into the bar and smiled when he realized there was a round of everyone's usual drinks waiting for them. JJ went up and hugged Will; apparently Kahlan had kidnapped him and brought him with her.

"What are you doing here?" Hotch asked Kahlan as she handed Rossi his scotch.

"Will missed JJ, and he wasn't familiar with the city so he begged me to bring him," she told him and leaned up to give him a kiss.

Will shot her a look. "Will LaMontagne, Jr. does not beg," he told them seriously and they all laughed.

Everyone sat down and enjoyed a drink and ordered dinner. After eating, talk turned to the case. "I still don't get what the bruise behind the knee is," Morgan told them.

Kahlan had just finished her beer and her hand slowly crushed the can in her hand. "What did you just say?" she asked Morgan slowly. Her tone wasn't missed by anyone at the table, and the look on her face sent a chill down Hotch's spine.

Morgan, suddenly worried, shot Hotch a look. He explained how every one of the victims had a bruise on the back of their left knee.

"You know what it is?" Rossi asked her.

She fixed her eyes on Hotch. "Get off the case." Her face revealed nothing, but her tone spoke volumes.

"Why? What is it?" Hotch asked, the worry evident on his face.

She looked at all of them slowly. "Because you have no idea what you all are dealing with. Give the case to someone else."

"We can't just give the case to someone else. If you know something, tell us."

She knew they would be too stubborn to give the case up. She took a slow deep breath and let it out. "It's a certain technique that is only used by a certain type of person."

Hotch felt like he did the first time he had questioned her. She was answering the questions but not giving any real answers.

"What technique?" Morgan asked her.

"And what type of person?" Reid asked.

"Are the cuts to the throat at an upward angel?" She asked instead.

That scared Hotch even more, he had never told her the details of the case, she shouldn't have known about it. "Yes."

She shook her head and studied the crowd around her. Hotch shot Rossi a look; the rest of the team looked at him. Others might think she was weighing her options, but Hotch could tell she was scanning the crowd.

"Kahlan?" Hotch asked.

She looked at Will, who was sitting next to her. "Get up." He did and so did she. "Turn around."

"Why do I got to be the victim?" He asked playfully trying to ease the tension that had settled over the group.

Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi got up and went around the table to get a better look.

She took a few steps away from Will and then advanced on him quickly. She put her left foot into the back of his left knee and reached around with her hand and pretended to cut his throat as he started to go down from the force of his knee being pushed to the ground. "Hitting the knee causes downward momentum, that helps the blade go through quicker, and causes the upward angel." She brought Will back to a standing position.

Instantly, Hotch knew the type of person she was referring to. Rossi gave him a worried look.

"But that doesn't explain the bruise," Morgan pointed out.

"It's a very specific type of boot," she said dryly.

"And how many people do you think know this technique?" Rossi asked as they all made their way back to their seats.

"I only know of two places it's taught, but that could have changed over the years."

"So we're dealing with an assassin?" JJ asked in a low tone.

"I would think so," she told her with certainty.

"Son of a bitch!" Morgan yelled.

Now they all knew why there hadn't been any evidence.

"Now you know why I think you should get off the case," she told them flatly and went to the bar to order another round of drinks.

Hotch followed her. "Kahlan." She turned to him and he could see the fear in her face. "Do you know who this could be?"

She chuckled, and he knew it wasn't because she found it funny. "I could tell you of about twenty people who know the technique, but I don't think it is one of them. Anyone I know of worked the job because they loved it and they loved this country; they wouldn't use it to kill innocent people. Your guy has to be the type that trained but didn't make it all the way through or who turned bad or something. It could be anyone."

Hotch considered her words. "Any chance you'd give me a list of people anyway?"

"Garcia wouldn't find any more on them than she did on me, but I could look into it if you want me to."

"Yeah, go ahead. We could use all the help we can get," he told her as he picked up half of the drinks to take them back to the table.

"Aaron, if this unsub is an assassin, you all could be in danger," she told him seriously.

He tried to blow it off. "There's no reason to think he would come after us."

"Yeah, but I'm worried you wouldn't know it until it happened."

That hit home. "I'll keep my eye on them," he promised her.

"Yeah, but who'll keep their eye on you?" she asked as she took the other half of the drinks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"I'm sorry I came," Kahlan told Hotch as they stood beside her car. She was getting ready to leave with Will to go back home.

"I'm not. We wouldn't know what we were dealing with," Hotch told her seriously.

"Well, you all were supposed to take a break and relax to recharge, and now you all are even more worried, not that you shouldn't be. I don't know."

He leaned in and gave her a kiss to stop her rambling. "We'll be fine. Knowing this helps us narrow down the unsub."

"Yeah, but why do I have such a bad feeling?" She asked him as she looked around.

"Is that your instincts talking or your fear for your husband and the team?"

"See, that's the problem. I don't know." She took a deep breath. "Promise me, Aaron, that none of you will go anywhere alone!"

"I promise," he told her seriously.

She eyed him for a moment and made herself smile. "I need you to text me at least every couple of hours. Even if all you do is send one letter. That way I'll know you're alright."

She had never asked him to report in before, so he knew how worried she must have been. "I will. Text me when you get home."

"I will, and I will check things out first thing tomorrow. I'll call you if I find out anything." She leaned up to give him one last kiss and then got in the car. Will was already in and waiting. Hotch watched them leave and went back into the bar.

**XXXXX**

Demitri was busy on his laptop. The research on the FBI agents had revealed them to be an elite team of profilers. His ego grew a little to know that the cops were having such a hard time finding him that they had to get help from the FBI. He decided to look into their leader a bit more. He saw a link for a Virginia paper for an engagement photo and an announcement. _Ohhhh, he's married. . . _ He clicked on the link and his blood ran cold. He stared at the picture, and he felt his heart and breathing quicken. His fingers drummed on the table as he considered his next move. He smiled wickedly and took out a couple of the pictures of the FBI agents. He stood up, took the pictures, and left.

**XXXX**

The next morning the team was called out early; their seventh victim was found three blocks from the hotel they were staying in. Rossi didn't like the proximity, but he didn't voice his concern. Hotch could tell he was concerned, though, because he felt the same. They looked over the scene. A teenage girl laid on the sidewalk, her throat was cut and a bruise was starting to form behind her knee.

"Agent Hotchner!" an officer called from the other side of the crime scene tape. Hotch looked up as the young man approached him. "This just came for you down at the station," he told Hotch as he handed him an envelope.

Hotch took it and immediately knew it was the same writing as the letter sent to the reporter. The team gathered around him as he opened it. He pulled out two pictures. The one on top was a picture of JJ and Hotch standing beside a podium. On the picture, the word 'welcome' was written. JJ sucked in her breath as she looked at the picture. Hotch pulled the bottom picture to the top. It was a picture of Morgan, Blake and Reid, also from the press conference. The words 'to Baltimore' were written on it.

"Really, this son of a bitch is welcoming us to the city?" Morgan asked no one. They could all tell he was pissed.

"He was at the press conference," Blake mused.

"Or he got the pictures from someone who was," Rossi told her.

_There's no reason to think he would come after us,_ Hotch remembered his words to Kahlan. He sighed heavily and put the pictures back into the envelope. He turned his attention to Reid. "Think you can identify all of the people who were at the press conference?"

Reid quirked his lips to the side. "I think so. Especially if we can get IDs from all of the sources."

"You think he's an actual reporter?" Morgan asked Hotch.

"No, but if Reid can narrow it down, then maybe we can get an idea of what this guy looks like." Hotch gave the envelope to Reid. "Get those to the lab." He took one more look at the victim and turned to walk back to the hotel.

Rossi quickly joined him. "Do you think he's targeting us now?"

"He could just be challenging us to catch him."

Rossi nodded. That could be true. "You going to call Kahlan about this?"

"No. She's worried enough already."

"You don't think she has the right to know?"

"Right to know what? We don't know what this means."

"Yeah, but I can tell you're worried."

Hotch stopped and looked Rossi in the face. "We're all worried, Dave."

"Yeah, but you just got ten times more worried when you looked at those pictures."

Hotch didn't say anything, he just went back into the hotel to gather the things he left scattered on his bed when they were called out earlier. Rossi shook his head as he watched him walk away.

Morgan and JJ joined Rossi on the sidewalk. "I thought we weren't letting each other go anywhere alone?" JJ asked Rossi.

Rossi got a panicked look on his face and they all ran into the hotel to find Hotch. They caught up with him in the hall by his door. He has his pistol in his hand. He signaled them to be silent and pointed to his room, indicating that he thought someone was in there. They all withdrew their pistols and Morgan walked up to join Hotch at the door. Hotch slid the key into the slot and turned the door handle as quietly as he could. He looked at Morgan and Morgan nodded. Hotch flung the door open and Morgan went in first followed closely by Hotch. They aimed their guns at the man in a chair by Hotch's bed. Hotch lowered his gun as soon as he realized who it was. Rossi and JJ came in with their pistols aimed. "What the hell are you doing here, Chuck?" They all holstered their weapons.

Chuck hadn't even flinched when they had come in. He was looking over the files on Hotch's bed. He smiled at them. "Kahlan wanted me to check on you all," he told them simply.

Hotch shook his head. JJ shut the door. "Way to scare someone, Chuck," JJ told him.

"I don't even want to know how you got in here," Morgan told him with a smile. They had all come to like Kahlan's old partner since they had met him three years ago.

Rossi smiled, he liked that Kahlan had sent him, especially since the photos showed up. "She tell you what was going on?" Rossi asked him.

"Yep, and that's why I agreed to come," he told Rossi as he put the file down and stood up.

"Well, you've checked and where all fine as you can go ahead and leave," Hotch told him. Rossi shot him a look, but Hotch ignored it.

"Well, she didn't actually say to just check up on you."

Rossi smiled. "She wants you to stay?"

"Yep. I believe her exact words were 'until the son of a bitch is caught or dead'," he told them all with a smile.

Hotch shook his head. "We don't need a babysitter, Chuck. You can go home," Hotch told him in a tone that most people wouldn't argue with.

Chuck laughed. "I'm more afraid of Kahlan than I am of you, so I'm staying," he told him seriously.

Morgan laughed. "Now you're gonna have to tell her about the pictures," Morgan told Hotch knowing that he wouldn't have.

Hotch's shoulders slumped a little.

"What pictures?" Chuck asked, so Morgan told him about them.

"Oh shit. And you were gonna keep that from her?" Chuck eyed Hotch warily. "You're braver than I thought."

Everyone laughed, except Hotch. He just shook his head, picked up the files, and left the room. Rossi went to quickly catch up with him.

XXX

That evening Hotch's phone vibrated. He sighed heavily; it was Kahlan. "Hey, Babe" he answered cheerfully.

"Sorry Hun, but I couldn't find anything on who your man might be."

"That's alright. Maybe that means he's not a real assassin. Maybe he was taught the technique by someone who was or something."

"Possibly. You're not mad that Chuck is there are you?"

"What, you don't trust your husband's abilities?"

She could tell from his tone that he wasn't mad, and that scared her. "Not at all, but I don't want to miscount your unsub's abilities either. What happened?"

_How does she always know?_ "What do you mean?" he asked trying to sound innocent.

"Don't give me that shit, tell me what happened," she demanded.

Hotch took a deep breath and then told her about the photos.

"The son of a bitch was right in the station with you all?"

"Or he got the pictures from someone who was."

"This guy's either really brave or completely psychotic."

"Yeah, and either one means more bodies tomorrow."

"How are you going to catch someone when you have no leads?"

"I really don't know."

"Well, you all need to be extra careful. If he was brave enough to go into the station full of cops and FBI agents, then he's capable of anything."

"I know. We're being careful. Try not to worry so much."

"Can't help it. I don't like it when my man might be in danger."

He laughed. He liked being her man.

"Well, I'll let you go. You better try to relax and get some sleep."

"I'll try, but I don't know how easy that will be. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Within five minutes, Hotch heard some noises out in the hall. He got up to see what was going on and shook his head. Chuck had put a chair in the hall and was apparently standing guard on all of them. Hotch also noticed everyone else's door open and then shut. They were all being hyper vigilant. Hotch hoped that knowing Chuck was in the hall would allow his team to sleep a little better. Chuck gave him a smile and then a salute. Hotch rolled his eyes at him and shut his door. _That man is certifiable_, he thought with a smile.

XXX

The next day ended with two bodies, just as the letter had promised. It wasn't two random people anymore, though, he had killed two cops. The team was looking over the scene. He had done it in the station's parking lot. "It looks like Burns found Smith and then was attacked while he checked on the fallen man," Morgan pointed out.

"He's getting really brave to be attacking cops right next to their station," Blake pointed out.

"There has to be video of this," JJ said as she eyed the camera on the wall.

"Go check. Rossi go with her," Hotch told them, and they went inside.

"He was in a hurry, though. Instead of writing out the whole name, he just wrote TR," Reid told them as he looked at the writing on the second victim's shirt. He looked over the ground and noticed something under the nearby cruiser. He got up, went over and reached under the car, and pulled out a piece of paper.

"What is it?" Hotch asked as Reid stood back up.

"It's an address," Reid said and then handed Hotch the piece of paper.

"There's no way he just happened to drop a piece of paper with his address on it," Morgan mused.

"No, but we can't just ignore it can we?" Blake asked as she looked at the paper. Morgan took his phone out and had Garcia find everything she could about the address.

"If he's there, it's obviously a trap," Reid told them.

"Probably, but it's the only lead we have," Hotch told them and headed into the station. They all followed him.

JJ called them into the security office and they all watched a man come up behind Smith and cut his throat just like Kahlan had demonstrated. A few minutes went by and they saw Burns run up and check on the fallen man. Then the same man came up and slit Burns' throat while he was bent down checking his friend. "He definitely knew where the camera was," Rossi told them. The only look they got of their unsub was of his back.

Hotch told him about the paper and Morgan's phone went off. "You're on speaker, Baby Girl."

"Your address leads to a warehouse down in the harbor district. It's owned by a foreign company that hasn't used it in over four years. All utilities are shut off to it," Garcia told them.

"Is that all you got?" Morgan asked her.

"Oh yeah, Mordecai's prints are also on the pictures. That means he's actually alive, right?"

"He would have to be. The pictures are recent, whereas that paper may have been sitting around forever," Reid told her.

"So, I will look into his supposed death a little more closely," Garcia told them and they could hear her typing.

"I thought there wasn't anything in his life to suggest that he had any kind of training?" Blake asked.

"There wasn't," Hotch told her.

"Let us know what you find, Kitten," Rossi told Garcia.

"Always," Garcia said, and Morgan ended the call.

"So you think we should hit this warehouse?" Rossi asked Hotch.

"We have to." He told Rossi and looked at JJ. "Get SWAT and everything ready. I want to raid it as soon as possible." JJ nodded and headed off. "See if you can get ahold of some blue prints," Hotch told Reid. He nodded and headed to the Information Desk at the head of the station; Blake followed him.

"You don't actually think he's sitting there waiting on us?" Morgan asked Hotch.

"He could be egocentric enough to do it," Hotch told him and headed to the conference room with Rossi following him.

"Hotch, you know this is a trap," Rossi told him once they were alone in the room and he shut the door.

"I do. If he wants us, then he's going to get us. Every one of us," Hotch told him seriously.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

After looking at the blueprints for the warehouse, Hotch, Morgan, and Mills, the lead SWAT officer, all decided they would have to split up into teams to search it properly. Two FBI agents, six SWAT, and four cops would be in each group. Each group would breach one of the three entrances, search their sector, and then converge in the middle of the building and hopefully one of them would find their unsub in the process.

Hotch was putting on his vest when he heard a familiar voice. Hotch looked up to see Chuck walking toward him also wearing an FBI vest. He didn't want to know where he got it, but he suspected that was what allowed him to walk into the station unhindered. Hotch squared his shoulders, crossed his arms across his chest, and waited for Chuck to get close. "No," is all he said.

Chuck mirrored Hotch's stance. "Yes."

Morgan walked up to the two men, hiding a smile. He wasn't sure who was going to win the fight of wills, but he had a feeling it would be Chuck, but only because of Kahlan.

"No," Hotch told him again. He couldn't bring up why in front of all of the officers.

"Yes. If I don't, she'll skin me alive," Chuck told him seriously.

Morgan chuckled.

Chuck fixed Morgan with a look. "That wasn't a joke."

Morgan got a horrified look on his face; he wasn't sure if Chuck was joking or not.

"That would be your problem, not mine," Hotch told him, not backing down.

Rossi and JJ also walked up to watch the men. Chuck glanced at them and smiled. "Then let's vote on it. All those in favor of me going, raise your hand."

Morgan, Rossi, JJ, and Reid who had been apparently listening in, all raised their hands. Chuck smiled at Hotch. Hotch rolled his eyes. "Fine, you can go with JJ and Reid's group," he told him and walked off.

"Sorry son," Rossi told him as he patted him on the shoulder. Rossi knew Chuck had wanted to go with Hotch.

"At least I get to go," Chuck told them with a smile.

**XXXXX**

Mordecai sat and patiently waited for the FBI agents he had no doubt would be coming. The trap was set, and all he needed to do was be patient. He had always been a patient person. He smiled at the thought of finally getting the revenge he had been craving for so long.

**XXXXX**

Hotch was driving one SUV to the warehouse when his phone vibrated. 'Be safe', came Kahlan's text; apparently Chuck or someone had let her know what they were doing. He smiled at it and quickly typed 'of course'. He put his phone away and concentrated on the plan. He kept his mind going over the blueprint. He knew the route his team was going to take in the building, but he had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. No matter what he tried to think about, the feeling of dread wouldn't go away. He sighed heavily and Rossi looked at him. Rossi knew Hotch was worried, but Hotch's face showed more than worry. Rossi thought Hotch had the same feeling as he had. _This is not going to end well._

They all pulled up to the warehouse and quickly got into their teams. They made their way to the entrances and waited until they all signaled that they were ready. Hotch and Rossi waited behind the SWAT guys. Once the signal was given they all filed into the building, clearing each room they came to. The building was filled with so much stuff, clearing the rooms was a slow process. Hotch and Rossi came to one room and they knew their unsub had been there. They stayed to inspect the room while the SWAT guys and police continued to clear the rest of their section of the building. Hotch walked up to the desk. Rossi inhaled sharply at what was left for them to find. There was picture of Hotch with a knife stuck through it, penning it to the desk. Hotch grabbed a piece of paper and used it to grab the knife; dried blood was all over the blade. Hotch carefully put the knife in his back pocket. There were other pictures from the press conference, pictures of all of them, but only the one of Hotch had been damaged. "This doesn't need to leave this room," Hotch told him.

Rossi eyed Hotch warily. "She has a right to know you've been targeted, Hotch."

"And if she finds out, Chuck will be stuck to me like glue. I don't think so."

Rossi shook his head. He didn't want to not tell Kahlan, hell, even the team had a right to know, but his loyalty to Hotch was first and foremost. _Unless it's for his own good_, he thought with a small smile. "Alright, we'll keep this between you and me, for now."

Hotch nodded his understanding. He picked up an ether cable and looked at Rossi. "How is he using a computer if there isn't any power on in here?"

"We'll have to have one of the techs trace it down."

Hotch then went over and studied an old cork board. Every article that the papers had printed about the murders was tacked up to it. The words 'The Revenant' were scrawled across them angrily. "I think he's pissed we haven't released the name to the press," Rossi mused as he looked the board over.

Hotch was about to say something when an explosion rattled the building.

"Son of a bitch!" Rossi yelled as dust rained down from the rafters. Hotch was about to run to see what it was when Mills' voice came over the comm link.

"There's bobby traps. No body move from your location!"

"Medics to the south east hallway, now!" they heard Morgan yell over the link.

Hotch took off running.

"Hotch!" Rossi yelled as he grabbed Hotch's arm and pulled him to a stop. "You can't go running around. There could be mor. . ."

Another explosion rattled the building again. Hotch pulled away from Rossi's grip. "We can go around on the outside!" Hotch yelled as he ran toward the exit. Rossi shook his head and ran after him.

"JJ? Reid?" Hotch asked into the comm link as he ran.

"We're fine, Hotch," came JJ's voice.

"What's your status Morgan?"

Silence. Hotch sped up and he was out of the building before Rossi could catch up with him.

_Damn it, Hotch!_ Rossi tried to catch up, but he knew there was no way for that to happen.

Rossi finally made it to the east side of the building and the sight made his heart drop into his stomach. Smoke and dust made it hard to see but Rossi could tell there was damage everywhere. Small fires were burning here and there and people were running around. Rossi searched for Hotch, but he couldn't find him. Rossi then grabbed an officer's arm. The man looked at him warily and they could hear the sirens from fire and medical getting close. "Have you seen anyone from my team?"

"They were further in the building when the first explosion went off. I'm sorry; I don't know where they are."

JJ and Reid came running up to Rossi. "Dave?"

"I don't know, we need to find Morgan and Blake," he told them as he started into the rubble.

"Where's Hotch?" Reid asked as they followed Rossi.

"He ran faster than me. He must be already looking. Where's Chuck?"

"He took off running into the building as soon as the first explosion happened, I don't know where he is," JJ told him.

Rossi tried not to think about what he might find as he started into the building. Another explosion rocked the building from the direction of where Hotch's team had entered. Several SWAT guys came through the smoke and dust. Rossi's breath hitched in his chest as he realized they were carrying Morgan and Blake. Rossi and them ran up to them. "They got buried in the rubble," one of the men told them.

"Oh my God!" JJ exclaimed as she took in her bloody friends.

As soon as the SWAT guys were far enough away from the building they gently laid the agents down. They were both unconscious. Morgan had a couple tears in his shirt and bloody scrapes all over his arms, torso, neck, and face. Blake also had the scrapes, but her legs were also cut and bloody.

A medic ran up and after a quick look, decided to check on Blake first. Rossi knelt down beside Morgan. He grabbed Morgan's hand and Morgan moaned. "Come one, Derek," Rossi told him. Morgan's eyes fluttered and opened. "Hey," Rossi said and smiled.

Morgan shook his head. "How's Blake?" he asked as he looked around.

"I don't know yet. Are you ok?" Morgan nodded and tried to get up. Rossi held him down with a hand on his chest. "No you don't. You just relax until the medic checks you out."

Morgan finally noticed JJ and Reid and relaxed a little. Another explosion rocked the building. Suddenly Morgan realized they were missing someone. "Where's Hotch?"

Rossi shook his head. "He went running in there to look for you guys."

"Damn it, Hotch," Morgan yelled as he slammed a fist down on the ground. "Go," he told them. "I'm fine, go find Hotch."

Rossi nodded and got up. He walked toward the building with JJ and Reid following but several firemen stopped them. "You can't go in there. The whole place is liable to collapse at any moment."

"But we've got men in there!" Rossi told him angrily.

"We know. We're looking for them, but you cannot go in there, we don't need to have to look for you, too."

Rossi understood, but he still didn't like it. JJ put her hand on his shoulder. "He's right, Dave."

Rossi nodded. "I know." They all walked back to Morgan and Blake. Morgan was giving a medic a tough time and JJ went to him. Blake was finally conscious, too. Rossi went up to her as medics brought up a gurney. "How are you?" he asked her. He could tell she was in pain.

"I got pinned under a steel rafter after the explosion and Morgan was trying to get it off my legs when the next explosion hit," she told him, and he moved to let them put her on the gurney.

Rossi looked at the medic, expecting him to explain her injuries. "I think she fractured both legs and she has a bad bump on the head, but nothing threatening."

Rossi nodded. "Reid, ride with her."

Reid nodded and followed them as they wheeled her towards an ambulance.

Rossi walked over to Morgan who was flat out telling the medic he was not going to the hospital. The medic and JJ looked to Rossi for help. Rossi sighed heavily. "What's wrong with him?" Rossi asked the medic.

"He could have a concussion, but nothing else other than a lot of superficial cuts and scrapes."

"Rossi, I don't need to go to the damn hospital!"

"Stand up," is all Rossi told him.

Morgan smiled and got up easily. Once he was standing, though, he swayed a little.

Rossi helped steady him. "You're going to the hospital, Derek. You need to be cleared." Morgan looked defeated. "But we need to find Hotch!"

"And they won't let anyone go in there. It's too dangerous." Rossi turned to JJ. "Go with him and make sure he behaves."

JJ gave him a small smile and helped escort Morgan to another ambulance.

Rossi tuned back to the building just as it started collapsing. "Son of a bitch!" _Where the hell are you, Hotch?_

Rossi jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked and saw it was a dirty and bloody Chuck. "Jesus Christ! Are you trying to give an old man a heart attack?"

"Sorry," Chuck said sheepishly, but then got very worried. "Where's Hotch?"

Rossi shook his head. "In there somewhere."

"Agents, we need this SUV by the north corner moved." Rossi heard in his comm link.

"Be right there," Rossi told him and headed to the SUV with Chuck following.

"Kahlan's gonna kill me," Chuck said as they walked.

"You? I was the one he was paired with."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rossi sent up a silent prayer to God for Hotch to make it out of the building alive. Rossi jumped in the SUV to move it out of the way for the fire trucks. Chuck waited for him to walk back and they both went in search of Hotch. They checked all the wounded who were being taken care of. Rossi's stomach twisted as he looked at the row of three unfortunate souls who hadn't made it out alive. Chuck noticed his hesitation and quickly went over and lifted each cover. He stood up and Rossi could tell Hotch wasn't one of them. Rossi almost cried. Chuck patted him on the back. "He could still be in there. Maybe he found himself a safe place to wait out the destruction," Chuck told him with a smile.

"Yeah," is all Rossi said.

Once the fires were out and the building had settled, police brought in dogs. Besides Hotch, there were six other people missing. Hotch and one cop were the only ones missing from the initial raid, the rest were people who had went into the building to help once the explosions started. All Rossi could do was wait. It was completely dark and Rossi knew the search was going to take forever, so he found a piece of rubble and sat down heavily. He didn't think Hotch was dead. He was sure that he would somehow know if that had happened, but the thought of him lying trapped and hurt made breathing hard.

Rossi's phone vibrated and he actually jumped. He took it out slowly, expecting it to be Kahlan. He sighed when he saw it was JJ. He told her that they didn't know anything yet, and she gave him an update on Morgan and Blake. Morgan had a mild concussion and needed six stitches for a gash on his back, but he was going to be fine. Blake had a fracture in her right femur and one in her left tibia; she wouldn't be walking for a while, but she was otherwise fine. Rossi told her to just stay at the hospital because there wasn't anything she or Reid could do but sit and wait anyway. He ended the call with a promise to call as soon as he knew anything.

Suddenly they heard shouting and they realized someone had been found. It turned out to be two firemen, so Rossi sank back down on the piece of concrete. Then he noticed another team of dogs show up. _Cadaver dogs. Damn it! Please don't let them find Hotch._ The minutes turned into hours, and the hours started to drag by. Rossi was beside himself with grief and guilt. _What if they don't find him? No! They have to find him!_

Rossi phone went off again, and he was relieved to see it was Morgan. He told Rossi that he was tired of waiting and if he didn't come and get them, then there were going to walk all the way there. Rossi agreed reluctantly and told him he would be there in a little while. Chuck decided to go with him. They had no reason to believe their unsub was even in the building, and he wasn't going to take a chance of something happening to Rossi, too.

As they approached the SUV, Rossi stopped in his tracks, and Chuck ran into him. "What the hell, Rossi?" Chuck asked until he saw what had got Rossi's attention. Next to the SUV was Hotch lying face down on the ground, and the flashing emergency lights picked up on the shiny pool of liquid around Hotch's head.

"Oh God, no!" Rossi screamed and ran to his friend. "Oh my God. Oh my God," is all Rossi could say as he knelt there staring at the man he thought of as a son.

Chuck came up behind him and put a hand on Rossi's back. They both were so in shock, that all they could do is look at the newest victim of the psychopath.

Hotch moaned. Rossi froze. _Did I just hear that?_ Rossi quickly turned Hotch over. Rossi let out a nervous chuckle when he realized that his friend's throat had not been cut. "It's not his!" Rossi yelled joyously talking about the pool of blood. Instead of an actual slice across his throat, there was a line drawn in black marker. "Hotch! Come on!" Rossi urged him to open his eyes. Rossi used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the blood off of Hotch's face. Hotch's eyes finally opened and gave Rossi a confused look. Rossi had tears running down his cheeks.

"What happened?" Hotch asked him and then noticed the blood all over Rossi's hands and shirt. "Oh, God! Are you hurt?"

Rossi laughed and pulled Hotch into a hug. "Jesus, Aaron. I thought you were dead."

Hotch pushed his way out of Rossi's embrace. "Are you ok?" he asked him again.

"I'm fine. This is from you, well from on you."

Hotch put his hand to the back of his head. He could easily feel the massive bump. "What happened?" he asked again.

"We were hoping you could tell us that," Chuck told him.

"I don't know. I was running to see if I could get to Morgan, then everything went black," Hotch told him as he noticed the blood all over his chest. "Whose blood is this?"

"I don't know, but I'm really glad it isn't yours," Rossi told him with a smile.

"You were lying in it when we found you. We thought your unsub had gotten you," Chuck told him.

Hotch tried to get up on his own, but Rossi and Chuck grabbed him and pulled him up instead. Hotch swayed a little. Rossi put Hotch's arm around his shoulder. "Let's go get you checked out." With the way his head was pounding, Hotch didn't argue. Chuck helped Rossi put Hotch in the back seat of the SUV. Rossi tossed the keys to Chuck and he climbed in the back with Hotch. Chuck had them at the hospital in no time. Chuck went around to help Hotch out of the vehicle. With a man on each side, they helped Hotch through the ER doors.

Morgan, JJ, and Reid, were all waiting by the door for Rossi to come get them. Their looks of horror made Rossi almost laugh. "It's not his blood," he told them with a smile and they all visibly relaxed.

"Jesus Christ, Hotch!" Morgan yelled at him as he grabbed a wheel chair.

A nurse ran up to them, apparently thinking all the blood was his, too. "It's not mine," Hotch told the concerned woman.

"He's got a nasty bump to the back of the head that knocked him out, though," Rossi told her. She nodded and wheeled him back behind the nurses' station.

"What happened?" JJ asked.

"Our unsub got him, but decided to just draw on him and leave him in a pool of blood for us to find him," Rossi told them as he headed to the restroom to clean himself off.

"What?" Morgan asked, flabbergasted.

"I don't know why, but all he did was knock him out and draw a line on his neck," Chuck told them.

"He wants to make sure Hotch knows it was him," Reid pointed out.

"What is this guy's game?" JJ mused as the all found a seat so they could wait for Hotch.

XXX

An hour later, Hotch was released. He also had a mild concussion, but the cut to his head didn't need any stitches. His left knee was also bruised front and back, and Hotch knew that the unsub had slammed his knee donw onto the pavement. They all went to check on Blake, and Rossi set up a police guard for her since they knew for sure that their unsub was still out there. They bid her goodnight, and they all went back to the hotel, both physically and mentally exhausted.

They all gathered in Hotch's room. He limped straight to the bathroom and tried to scrub off the line on his neck. It wouldn't budge, though, and he knew it was done in permanent marker. Hotch threw the washcloth down forcibly, changed his shirt, and headed back out into the room.

Chuck came in the door. "I don't know about you guys, but I could use a drink," he told them with a smile as he broke opened a case of beer.

They all agreed as they each took one. Hotch quickly texted Kahlan. It was already 1:37 in the morning, but he knew she was expecting some sort of update. He told her he was fine but exhausted and promised to call her in the morning.

"What the hell is this guy's game?" JJ asked again.

"Believe me, I've been wondering the same thing," Hotch told her. "It doesn't make any sense that he would leave me alive."

"He could just be showing you that he had power over you," Morgan suggested.

"Why, though? He could have easily killed me to prove he was better."

"Yeah, and him having that whole place bobby trapped changes the profile drastically," Reid pointed out.

"This is definitely turning into a twisted game of cat and mouse," Rossi told them as he came out of the bathroom after changing his shirt.

"More like mouse trap," Chuck told them with a chuckle.

"Was there anything in Mordecai's background that suggested explosives?" Morgan asked Hotch.

Chuck choked on his beer, and everybody watched him as he coughed and sputtered trying to take a breath.

"Are you ok?" JJ asked him.

"What did you just say?" He asked Morgan once he could breathe again. Everyone could see how he had went from his usual, fun loving self to being extremely serious.

Morgan's beer stopped half way to his mouth. "What?"

"Who did you just say?" Chuck asked slowly.

Flashbacks from Kahlan's visit to the bar came into Hotch's mind. "Demitri Mordecai is the name of the man whose prints we found. Why?"

"Oh my God," Chuck said softly. "No wonder he left you alive."

"Jesus Christ! Can't you all just answer a question when you're asked?" Hotch asked him, clearly pissed.

"You've had his name the whole time, and you didn't think that was an important thing to share?" Chuck asked him, clearly just as pissed.

"Who is he?" Hotch asked slowly as he advanced on Chuck.

"Oh no. I ain't telling you shit. You all need to pack up and go the hell home." He told them all and then turned to Hotch. "And you need to go talk to your wife." He took out his pistol, pulled the slide back, and made sure there was a bullet in the chamber. "I'll be in the hall," and he left the room.

They all stared at the closed door. "What the hell was that about?" Morgan asked.

"Apparently Mordecai is someone Kahlan and Chuck know," Rossi pointed out.

Hotch nodded his agreement. So many thoughts were running through his head, he didn't know what to really think.

"And apparently Chuck's a little rattled," JJ mused.

"No wonder Garcia didn't find anything in the man's past," Reid mused.

"And if Chuck thinks we should get off the case, too. Then there is definitely something scary about this guy," Rossi told Hotch.

"Probably, but it doesn't explain why he left me alive," Hotch told them. "I think I need to go home."

"You're not driving tonight. Everybody try to get some rest. Be ready to go by eight. I'll call the hospital and have Blake ready to go, too."

Nobody argued over Rossi taking control, and they all went to their rooms leaving Rossi and Hotch alone.

"Alright, what do you really think this means?" Rossi asked him.

"Obviously he left me alive so I could run home and tell Kahlan. It's Kahlan he wants."

"That's what I was thinking." Rossi told him as he paced a little. "You still have to tell her."

"I know."

"But you don't want to."

"No."

"You want to stay here and hunt him down."

"Yes."

"You don't actually think you could find him, do you?"

"No."

"But you'd use yourself as bait and try to lure him out."

"Yes."

"You realize that is the dumbest thing I think you have ever said?"

Hotch knew it was true, but he couldn't let this man go after Kahlan. He had to try something.

"I can't let you do it, Aaron."

Hotch gave him a look. "I'm not asking for permission."

"I know, and that what scares me. That man could have killed you earlier. God damn it, Hotch, you're not ready to face this man alone!"

"What am I supposed to do, Dave? I am just supposed to run home with my tail between my legs and admit defeat?"

Rossi could tell Hotch was getting pissed, but he needed someone to talk some sense into him. "No. You go home and protect your family. If he knows who you are, and he knows who your wife is, then he sure as hell knows where you're from, if not your damn address."

Hotch looked scared. He hadn't thought about that.

"You need to talk to Kahlan, and you both need to come up with a plan. You go running off on your own is only going to get you killed, and then Kahlan will go running off, and then who do the kids have?"

"Alright, Dave."

"Alright?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to try and do anything stupid?"

"No."

Rossi studied him for a moment. He wasn't sure to believe him or not. "You and Chuck can leave first thing in the morning. I'll get the team together, talk to the locals, and then we'll be home shortly after you."

Hotch nodded.

"Aaron, I swear you do anything stupid, and I'll hunt you down and kill you myself!"

"I promise not to do anything tonight."

Rossi didn't like that the promise only included that night, but if that was all he could get, then that would have to be enough, for now.

"Alright, try to get some sleep. I will see you in the morning."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Rossi left Hotch's room and went to Chuck. He held out his handcuffs to him. Chuck gave him a puzzled look. "If Hotch tries to leave tonight, you need to stop him. These might be needed," Rossi told him.

Chuck smiled and took the cuffs. "He won't be going anywhere with me around."

"And I assume he won't be able to talk you into helping him do anything stupid."

"Not even with a bribe. I know what Kahlan would do to me."

Rossi gave him a small smile and patted him on the back. "You're a good man," Rossi told him and headed to his room.

XXX

The next morning Chuck went around and woke everyone up. Morgan had decided to let Rossi take Hotch home and he would take care of everything in Baltimore. Hotch finally agreed with a promise from Morgan that they would all four stick together at all times. The team told them to be careful and Rossi headed them towards home. On the way, Hotch called Kahlan and told her to get one of her sisters to come and get the kids and take them home because they needed to talk. She could tell by his tone that something had happened, but she didn't want to ask him about it on the phone. She said the kids would be gone by the time they got there.

Rossi pulled into Hotch's driveway and they saw Kahlan on the porch. Hotch could tell she was worried. As he approached her, her worry looked turned to anger. She knew by his slight limp what had happened. "Aaron Jackson Hotchner!" She yelled as she went down the stairs towards him.

Hotch froze in his tracks.

"Oh shit," Chuck said as he tried to duck behind Rossi.

"And you, Charles Leroy Lane!" Kahlan yelled as she fixed a glare at Chuck. "You were supposed to watch his back!"

"Kay, I tried. He wouldn't let me," Chuck tried to hide from her as he backed up toward the SUV.

"Babe," Hotch started but stopped as her glare turned on him.

"Kahlan, I think we should take this inside," Rossi told her trying to be the voice of reason.

"Don't act all innocent, Rossi. Wait until she finds out it was you he was partnered with when he got attacked," Chuck told him with a smile.

Kahlan looked at Rossi, but not with a glare. "Come on, Dave. I have some coffee ready," she told him as she put her hand in his arm and they walked to the house together.

Hotch and Chuck looked at each other. "That didn't go as I had planned," Chuck confessed as they followed them into the house.

They all went into the dining room and took a seat at the table. Kahlan got them all a cup of coffee. "Tell me what happened," She told Hotch as she sat down.

Hotch told her about the case and everything that happened at the warehouse. Rossi picked up the narrative from where Hotch disappeared on them to them finding him. Then Chuck told her about the conversation in Hotch's hotel room, but he didn't say the name.

"You know who it is?" Kahlan asked, her voice full of concern as she looked at the three men in front of her.

"We were able to get prints off the letter and the photos," Hotch started. He noticed Chuck was slowly scooting his chair away from Kahlan.

"And?"

"And they turned out to belong to a dead man," Hotch began again. "Well, at least someone who supposedly died in 2000."

Kahlan looked at Rossi. "Apparently they are both too scared to tell me. Would you please tell me who it is before I strangle one of them?"

Rossi took a deep breath. "Demitri Mordecai."

Kahlan's face deadpanned, Chuck scooted back a little more, and Hotch shot Rossi a concerned look.

After what seemed like forever, she stood up and took a couple of steps away from the table. Hotch got up to follow her. "I wouldn't," Chuck whispered. Hotch shot him a dirty look.

"Kahlan?" He asked her as he walked up behind her.

"No." She said quietly. "That son of a bitch is dead!" She turned to Hotch and the anger on her face made him back up a step.

"Who is he?" Hotch asked as he finally stepped forward and put his hands on her waist.

"Apparently somebody I should have taken care of myself." She pulled away from him and turned around again.

Hotch shot Rossi another look. Rossi nodded to her and Hotch walked up to her again. "Tell me," he told her as he gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to look at him. Her anger had been replaced with worry.

She took a deep breath and nodded. He led her back to the table. She sat down and took a drink from her mug. "Demitri joined our team in 96. After about a month, though, I kicked him off."

Hotch was surprised. He hadn't known she was the leader of the elite group. "Why?"

"Because I could tell what he was. He took way too much pleasure in the kill. He was a true psychopath, and I told the DIC, but he put him on another team. Within two months they kicked him out completely. He went rouge; put his services up for hire. After causing enough trouble on his own, he was supposedly neutralized in 2000. He was supposed to have died in that plane crash."

Hotch sat back in his seat. "So he blames you for getting kicked out?"

"Yes. He threatened her several times before he was killed," Chuck stuck in. Kahlan shot him a look and he shut up.

"So he found out who you are, found out we're married, and didn't kill you? That doesn't sound like him." Kahlan mused.

"We figure he's after you," Rossi told her.

"So he thinks I'm just going to run to Baltimore? It would make more sense to have killed Aaron, and then I would have to go to find him. Not killing Aaron doesn't guarantee I'll go looking for him. It just doesn't make sense." Kahlan told them and got up again.

"I agree, but what else could he want?" Hotch asked.

Kahlan paced in the kitchen. They all knew she was working things out in her head. She finally stopped and fixed Chuck with a look. "We leave tomorrow." Chuck nodded.

"Now just wait a minute!" Hotch yelled and stood up. "I don't want you going anywhere near that bastard."

"If we don't go to him, then he will come to us, Aaron."

"Then let him. I'd rather face him on my own turf than go running around a city that he might have booby trapped."

"And what about the kids?"

Hotch thought for a second. "Dave and the team will protect them."

"Exactly," Dave put in.

"But then it's a waiting game. How long are you willing to keep the kids in hiding while you wait for him to come? If I go to him, you can stay with the kids."

"Don't do this, Kahlan. Don't make this just your fight. We are partners in life, you can't just go off on your own, not now."

She bit her lip as she considered his words. After a few moments she gave him a small smile. "Alright, Aaron. As long as I think we can handle this here, I won't go after him."

Hotch sighed at her answer. He was reminded of when he first met her. She promised not to, but only for as long as she saw fit. In other words, he had no idea how long she would wait to go after him on her own. He figured that was about as much as he was going to get at the time being, though, so he walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. "We'll get him," he told her softly.

She nodded and returned his hug. "I am sorry about this, Aaron. You were worried about this in the beginning."

"It was just dumb luck that I ran into him. He's a serial killer I went after. What are the chances of that?"

She chuckled. "Apparently higher than one would think." She pulled away from him and looked at Chuck again. "The guest room's yours."

Chuck smiled. "And here I thought you were gonna leave me out of this."

They all laughed.

XXX

The next day, Hotch explained to most the team what was happening, Blake was on medical leave due to her injuries. They all agreed to help when and were needed, and he thanked them. Morgan informed him that the Baltimore police had found an unidentified body buried in the rubble. They were assuming it was the killer and Morgan didn't correct them. He figured if the killing continued, that they could send another team down there. With what they learned from Kahlan, though, none of them thought he would continue killing innocent people in Baltimore. Hotch made sure Garcia kept an eye out for people getting their throats cut in other places in case Mordecai decided to move.

With Kahlan and Chuck at the house with the kids, Rossi wasn't worried about them. He was worried about Hotch. When Hotch was done with his part of the meeting and had to go give the case files to Strauss, Rossi took it upon himself to make sure that someone from the team would be with Hotch at all times while they were at work. "Especially on a case. I don't care if he's in the damn restroom, one of you two better have to piss, too." Rossi told Morgan and Reid.

"Jeeze, Dave, calm down, we understand. The bastard spared him once, we won't give him a chance to change his mind," Morgan told him

"If he's like Kahlan and Chuck, can he get in the building?" Reid asked.

"I wouldn't think so, but we should still be vigilant."

"Do we have a picture of him?" JJ asked.

"I don't think so, but that's a great idea. I should get Kahlan in to do a sketch."

XXX

Kahlan actually came up with a picture of Mordecai, Hotch shouldn't have been surprised but he was. Garcia sent it to every law enforcement office around the country. After two days, Baltimore reported back to them that there hadn't been any more killings, and they reported that the body found was the killer who had died in one of his own traps.

The next day, the team was called out to Utah to help find a missing boy. Kahlan met them at the tarmac to see them off. She felt uneasy about Hotch leaving, but she knew it was his job. Rossi promised to not let him out of his sight, and she threatened Hotch with his life if he went running off again, no matter what the reason. Morgan also promised her to keep him within reach. Hotch had rolled his eyes, but said he would behave. He, in turn, made her promise not to do anything in his absence. She did, but Hotch still texted Chuck and made him promise, too.

*** I have no idea what Hotch's middle name is, so I picked Jackson. 1) His mother is from the Virgina- you know, Stonewall Jackson 2) His son's name is Jack so he could have been named after Aaron's middle name & 3) I think it sounds good together - sue me


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Three weeks passed by after Baltimore without incident. Hotch started to think that Demitri hadn't followed him to Kahlan; that maybe they had been wrong about Mordecai's motives until he received an envelope at his office. As soon as he looked at it, he knew it was the same writing as the envelope he'd received in Baltimore. He looked around and made sure no one had seen him get the envelope; the team was out at lunch. He took in his office and shut the door. He sat down with a sigh and opened it. There was one picture in it. He felt anger rise up his neck and onto his face, and he had to fight the urge to crumble the picture up and throw it away. S_on of a bitch!_

He didn't want anyone to see the picture, but he knew he would have to tell everyone that the madman was there, and they would want to know how he knew that. He stared at the picture. It was a picture of himself, walking into the coffee shop he normally stopped at in the morning on his way to work, with the crosshairs of a scope aimed right at his head. That's twice the psycho could have killed him, and the alpha in him stirred. It was disturbing to know he could have killed him and he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. _Kahlan's going to be pissed!_

He heard a knock on his door and Rossi came in without waiting for an answer. _Gad damn it! How does he always know?_ Hotch put the picture underneath a file on his desk. "Hey, Dave." Hotch said innocently.

"Hey," Rossi told him as he sat down in his usual seat in front of Hotch's desk.

"What's up?"

"I was going to ask you that?"

"Really? Why?"

"Just a feeling."

Hotch shook his head. "I thought you went to lunch with the team."

"Nope." Rossi studied Hotch's face. "Out with it."

"Out with what?"

"Really, Aaron? You honestly think you can hide things from me?"

"What could I possibly be hiding?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you just got envelope delivered."

Hotch stared at him. "You have the whole bullpen reporting to you?"

"Just when there's some psycho out there who might want to harm my family," Rossi told him with a sly smile.

Hotch shook his head. "I should have known." Rossi smiled, and Hotch's phone rang. Hotch looked at the caller ID; it was Kahlan. "Really, you called her?"

Rossi's eyes got wide in surprise. "No."

Hotch took a deep breath and answered the phone trying to be nonchalant. "Hey, Babe." He had no intension of telling her about the picture. They chatted for a minute and he could tell she sensed something, but she didn't press it and he ended the call with a promise to be home for dinner. He looked at Rossi. "I swear, I think she has my office bugged."

Rossi laughed. "I wouldn't put it past her, he told him with a smile, but then got serious. "You were getting ready to tell me what you got in the envelope."

Hotch reached underneath the file and gave Rossi the photo. Rossi was immediately pissed. "Jesus, Aaron, and you think you can keep this from her?"

"I'm going to try. You know she'll just want to run off and try to find him."

"Maybe it's time you let her."

Hotch looked at Rossi like he's just suggested that pigs could fly. "What?!"

"Damn, Aaron, we've got every cop on the eastern sea board looking for him, and he slipped in right under their noses and put you in his sights. That's the second time he could have killed you."

"And you're suggesting that I just let my wife run off and face this psycho?"

"Maybe she can find him and. . ."

"Don't even suggest it, Dave." Hotch told him seriously. "And so help me, if you tell her about that picture. . ."

"Alright, Aaron."

"I mean it, Dave. She'll either run off after him or want to lock me away in the basement or something. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her because of her wanting to protect me. I'm supposed to be the one protecting her!"

Rossi could tell that Hotch wasn't worried about himself; he was worried about Kahlan's safety.

"Promise me, Dave," Hotch pleaded.

Rossi sighed heavily. "You know she'll kill us both when she finds out."

"She won't find out."

"I said when, not 'if'. You know she'll find out."

"We're the only two who know."

Rossi took a deep breath. "Alright, Aaron, but you need to switch up your routine. If this son of a bitch is following you, he could be just waiting until he can follow you home," Rossi told him seriously. Hotch nodded. "Maybe you should be wearing a vest."

Hotch laughed. "Yeah, cause that'll protect my head." Which is exactly where the sight was aimed at in the picture. "I'm not worried about me. If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead already."

"Yeah, that's what scares me the most. Why target you, but not kill you. Just like Kahlan said, it doesn't make sense."

"I know. That's what worries me. Maybe he gets off on knowing he has my life in his hands, and likes torturing me with that fact."

_And that's what worries me, Aaron. He can kill you at any time._ "Yeah."

XXX

The next day the team got called to Nevada. Four days later, and they were heading back home at nine at night. None of them wanted to wait until morning to head back, so the jet was quiet as almost everyone was trying to catch a little sleep. Hotch wanted to surprise Kahlan, so he didn't tell her they were on their way home. Five hours later, Hotch pulled into his driveway. He noticed several of the downstairs lights still on. He unlocked the door and the dogs met him with wagging tails, well one tail and one nub. Hotch scratched them behind their ears and headed to the dining room.

"And there's a reason you chose not to call me and tell me you were on your way home?" Kahlan asked from the table as he walked towards her.

"I wanted to surprise you," he told her and finally saw what she was doing.

"That's a good way to get yourself shot," she told him with a grin as she put a pistol back together.

"Damn. How many pistols do you have?" he asked with surprise. He knew she had one, but there were enough parts on the table to make several. He leaned down and gave her a kiss.

"Just four."

"And you're cleaning them now, why?" He asked as he sat down next to her.

"I couldn't sleep."

"And this helps you relax?"

"Yep," she told him with a smile and put another pistol back together without even looking at it.

"You know, sometimes, you can be really scary," he told her with a smile as he took the newly cleaned pistol from her. He noticed it didn't have a serial number on it.

"Yep," she gave him a wicked grin.

"You as good with these as you are a rifle?" He realized after all of the time they had been together, he had never seen her shot a pistol.

"Probably not. I haven't even shot one in over two years."

"Two?"

"I took them to a range a while back. Haven't been since."

"You can come down to Quantico's. We could make it a date," he told her with a grin.

She put another pistol together and handed it to him. "That could be fun. You up for a little competition?"

"Always."

"I'll have to think of a good wager," she told him slyly as she put the last pistol together.

He flashed his dimples. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She pulled a small gun safe off the seat next to her and put all of the pistols in it and shut it.

"Where has that thing been hiding?" He asked with raised brows. It looked like an ordinary cardboard box on the outside.

"You'll never know," she told him with a grin.

"I hate to think of what else you have hidden around this house."

"It's better to not even think about it," she told him as she put the gun cleaning tools back in the kit and picked up the towel she was using.

XXX

The team got called out on another case the next day. Rossi was actually glad, even though he was tired. If Hotch wasn't around Virginia, then Mordecai couldn't get to him.

As the kids played in the basement, Kahlan sat down and opened her laptop. She signed on and checked her email. There was one from someone she didn't recognize and she was about to delete it until she saw the subject line: your agent. With her anger rising, she opened the document. Her breath hitched in her chest as she looked at a photo of Hotch taken through the sights of a scope. She slammed a fist onto the counter. 'How much longer are you going to make me wait?' and 'How much longer do you think until I get bored and actually kill him?' were written below the picture. She didn't reply to the message, instead she shut her laptop and called her sister. It was time for her to take a trip.

When Hotch called her that night he could tell something was bothering her. "What happened?" He asked.

"Nothing," she lied. "I think I'm going to let Donna take the kids to South Dakota for a visit as soon as you get back."

He definitely knew something had happened. "Why's that?"

"Wyatt wants to go back for a visit before school, and Donna wanted to go back to visit some of her friends, so why not let them all go together?"

He knew she wasn't going to tell him what had happened, and he was worried. "That's fine. I guess."

She knew he didn't believe him, but she didn't care. "What's the case look like?"

"I wouldn't think it will take more than a couple days."

"Good."

He looked at Rossi when the call ended. "What?" Rossi asked, suddenly worried by the look on Hotch's face.

"I can tell something has happened, but she won't tell me what."

"Wow, that sounds familiar," Rossi told him.

Hotch sighed heavily. "She wants to send the kids away."

Rossi knew that was serious. "Ouch. When?"

"Once we get back, so I can say goodbye first."

Rossi nodded. "Maybe it would be better for them to be someplace safe if he's getting closer."

"You don't think he's threatened the kids?" Hotch asked suddenly even more worried.

"You think she'd wait for us to get back if that had happened?"

"No, that's true."

"Something else is bothering you, though."

"I got a really bad feeling, Dave."

"Yeah, so do I. We need to solve this case in a hurry and get home."

"Yep."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

After Hotch told the team his suspicions, they were all in a hurry to get home, and they solved the case in two days. Rossi drove Hotch home from the tarmac; the case files could wait. Hotch's chest tightened when he noticed Chuck sitting in his car a few houses down from theirs. If Kahlan had him set up as a guard to watch for people coming to the house, then she must have been very worried. Rossi pulled into the driveway and Hotch got out and was attacked by two dogs and a three year old. "Daddy!" Joey yelled as she slammed herself into Hotch's legs.

"Hey, angel. You miss me?" He asked her as he picked her up.

"Yep." She told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly.

"Hey you." Rossi said as she came up to them.

"Poppi!" She yelled and jumped from Hotch's arms into Rossi's.

Rossi wasn't expecting it and Hotch helped to steady him. He laughed as she hugged her God father just as tightly as she had him.

"Boy, I sure did miss my little Bella," Rossi told her as he carried her in to the house.

Kahlan met them at the door. Hotch leaned down and gave her a kiss. He could see a sadness in her eyes, even though her face revealed nothing, and his chest tightened a little bit more. "Hey, Babe."

"Hey. Glad to see you all home in one piece," she told them as she held open the door for them to enter the house. Rossi noticed that Kahlan scanned the street before she shut the door.

The boys were in the kitchen helping to fix dinner. Hotch noticed she was making all of the kids' favorites. He tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. "Hey, guys."

Jack turned and gave him a hug as Hotch tasseled his hair.

"Hey, Dad. How was the case?" Wyatt asked as he took his turn at giving Hotch a hug.

"Not too bad. How's the model coming?" Hotch asked. Wyatt had been working on a model of an air force jet before he had left for the case.

"It's done. I'll show it to you after dinner."

"Jack help me make a casle in the sand box," Joey told Rossi. "You wanna see it, Poppi?"

"Of course," Rossi told her as he put her down and followed her to the back yard.

Kahlan and Hotch smiled as they watched them go. Hotch noticed Kahlan turn away quickly as a hand went to her face. "Babe?" He asked her in a whisper. She ignored him and reached up and took plates out of the cabinet. When she turned around and gave them to him, her face revealed nothing. Hotch sighed and went and set the table. Hotch noticed that there wasn't a plate for Chuck and he sighed again. Jack followed him with the silverware. Hotch looked to make sure they were the only two within hearing range. "Anything happen that I need to know about?" he asked his son.

"No, why?" Jack asked.

"Just wondering," Hotch told him and went back in to the kitchen.

They all enjoyed their dinner and the kids told Hotch and Rossi about their latest exploits. After dinner, Kahlan got up to load the dish washer. Hotch got up to help her. "No. Go spend time with the kids. I got this."

Hotch eyed her warily, but listened and went with the kids into the backyard. After about ten minutes, Rossi came back in and found Kahlan sitting at the table. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you sending the kids away?"

"Because I have a feeling it's time to get them away from here."

"Just a feeling?" Rossi asked as he studied her face.

"Yep," is all she said.

Rossi shook his head. He had never learned how to read her.

"Aaron's hiding something isn't he?"

_Shit!_ "What do you mean?"

"Really, Dave?"

"I think you need to ask him that."

"Oh, I will. The kids leave in the morning, so I'll jump him tomorrow night if you all don't get called away." She fixed him with a look. "And you can warn him if you want. Just don't expect him to want to come home if you do."

Rossi laughed. "I won't say a word," he promised and went back outside to push his God daughter on the swing.

After Rossi left and the kids were in bed, Hotch joined Kahlan on the couch. "So what happened?"

"I really don't want to talk about this with the kids still here. We'll talk tomorrow night. Unless you have a reason to talk right now."

"No. I was just wondering."

They both looked at each other. Kahlan knew Hotch was hiding something, and Hotch was pretty sure she was hiding something, but neither of them pressed the other. She grabbed him and made him snuggle up beside her. He smiled and relaxed on the couch with the woman he loved and would do anything to protect.

XXX

The next morning, Donna and her daughter showed up, and Hotch helped the boys load their bags. When Wyatt was alone with Hotch in the driveway he turned to him and studied him. "I don't know what going on with you and mom, but promise me you will both be careful."

Hotch smiled. He should have known Wyatt would know something was happening. "I will do everything I can to keep her safe, Wyatt."

Wyatt nodded. "I'll watch out for Jack and Joey, you just worry about what's happening here," he told him.

Hotch pulled him into a hug. "I will."

Kahlan came out with Joey in her arms. Everyone was following her. "Now you listen to your brothers and Aunt Donna," she told her daughter. "And remember that mom loves you."

"I love you more!" Joey told her as Kahlan passed her off to Hotch.

Hotch tried to swallow a lump in his throat as he looked into eyes that were a mirror of his. "You better be good." He told her and she leaned in and gave him a butterfly kiss on his cheek. "Awways, Daddy." He gave her a kiss and put her down so she could get in her booster seat. "Daddy loves his little angel," he told her as he buckled her in.

They hugged and kissed the boys goodbye, and Kahlan gave her sister a hug. "I love you. Call me when you stop and have fun."

"They'll be fine," Donna told her and got in the car. "Bye!" they all yelled as they pulled out of the driveway.

Hotch and Kahlan waved and watched them until they turned the corner, then they walked to the house together. As soon as they got in the door, Kahlan picked up his brief case and handed it to him. "You better go. You don't want to be late."

He eyed her for a minute but took his case. "If we don't get called out, I should be home at a decent time," he told her and leaned down to give her a kiss.

"I'll be here," she told him with a smile. "It'll be nice having the house all to ourselves for a change," she told him as she flicked her brows at him.

Hotch's dimples showed as he smiled and pulled her into a hug. "I could call in sick."

"No you're not," she told him as she pushed him towards the door. "But at least you'll have something to daydream about in your meetings today."

"Ohhhh, you are mean!" he told her with a smile and walked out the door.

XXX

That afternoon, Kahlan was contemplating what she wanted to do when the doorbell rang. She walked to the door with caution, but a glance out the window revealed an UPS truck. She accepted the box and used a knife in the kitchen to slice through the tape. She felt her rage boil as she looked at the contents of the box. _You better run, Demitri! Cause I'm coming for you tomorrow!_ She grabbed the box and took it to her bedroom. She put it in her closet and took out a black duffle bag. She started packing for the hunt.

XXX

Hotch got home to find dinner already cooking. The table was set with candles and soft music was playing on the stereo. He lifted a lid to a pot. "Get out of there!" Kahlan yelled and it startled him so bad he dropped the lid.

"Jesus Christ! I really wish you would stop sneaking up on me," he told her with a smile.

"That's just because you can't do it to me," she told him and pulled him down to give him a passionate kiss. She finally pulled away from him when the need for air became too much. She pulled his tie and led him out of the kitchen. "You should take a shower to relax."

"Oh really?" he asked as she led him up the stairs. "You gonna scrub my back?"

She giggled. "And maybe a couple other things, too."

He moaned and followed her into their bedroom.

XXX

Rossi couldn't believe the smile on Hotch's face the next morning as he walked into the bullpen, but with paperwork and consults, he didn't get a chance to ask him about it until after lunch. "So Kahlan must not have been too mad about the picture, huh?"

The confused look on Hotch's face made Rossi more confused. "What about the picture? You didn't tell her did you?"

"No, but she said she knew you were hiding something and that she was jump you about it last night."

Hotch didn't answer. He just sat there thinking. He ran the last couple days through his head. Kahlan giving her sister a hug that seemed to take a little too long. She also didn't tell her or the kids that she'd see them soon or anything like that. Then last night. Last night was amazing, but she had taken her time with it all as if she were savoring it. Then this morning, the way she held his cheek when she told him goodbye. The sadness in her eyes. "Son of a bitch!" he yelled and jumped up.

Rossi jumped up too. "What?"

"She's going after him!" Hotch yelled.

"What? What makes you think that? She doesn't even know about the picture."

"She just is. I know it."

"Then go! Go stop her. I'll handle things here!" Rossi told him as Hotch grabbed his briefcase and ran out of the bullpen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Hotch breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he saw Kahlan's car still in the driveway.

Kahlan looked out her bedroom window as soon as she heard a car in the driveway. _Shit!_ She quickly ran down the stairs and met Hotch at the door. "Why are you home?" She asked innocently as she opened the door for him.

Hotch took in her clothes and knew his suspicions were correct. She was wearing black cargo pants, a charcoal grey t-shirt, and black tactical boots. He silently asked God for help in changing her mind. "I had a feeling this is what you were doing."

"Aaron. . ." She said and then closed her eyes for a couple seconds and turned from him and paced in the entry way.

Hotch knew what Kahlan was thinking. He knew she wanted to go after Demitri, but he had to talk her out of it. He couldn't allow her to put herself in danger. She was pacing like a caged animal, and he knew that the old Kahlan was warring within herself with the new Kahlan – the mother she had become. "Aaron. . ." she started again as she still paced.

"Kahlan, you cannot. . ." He winced at the look she gave him as she stopped in her pacing, and he knew he had not chosen his words well.

"I can," she told him coldly.

"I know that, I just meant that I don't want you to do what you're thinking about doing."

She started pacing again. "But he has targeted you, Aaron! You!"

He wondered how she knew. "I know, but I will be fine. . ."

"He's already proved that he can get his hands on you once. You cannot know you'll be fine."

"He's got police and FBI agents tracking him down. He's probably high tailed it out of here," he tried to sound confident.

"It's obvious why he targeted you, he wants me to suffer."

"I will protect you."

She laughed and his pride was wounded, but he tried not to let it show. "And who will protect you?"

"The whole team is on this. . ."

"I can't lose you Aaron," she confessed in a shaky voice.

He finally went to her and pulled her into an embrace. "We will stop him, together."

"I don't want to wait for something to happen. I want to go find the bastard and take care of the threat before the threats become a reality."

"We're not just sitting around waiting. We are looking for him. Now unless you know something we don't. . ."

"No," she answered a little too quickly and pulled away from him.

She walked over to the shelving where most of the children's pictures were displayed. "Kahlan." He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. "Try to stop worrying. We will find him, and then everything will go back to normal," he told her tenderly.

She turned them around where his back was to the shelves and she put her arms around his waist. "You know I love you and the kids more than life itself, right?" She asked as she pulled him even closer.

"Of course," he told her and leaned down to give her a kiss.

She turned the everyday kiss into one full of passion and she grabbed his hands and put them behind his back. He moaned against her mouth and before he even knew what happened, she had his handcuffs out of their holster at the small of his back, locked one around his wrist, and locked the other side around one of the steel poles that the shelves were built around.

"What the hell?" he asked as soon as he realized what she had done to him. "Kahlan?" He jerked at the cuffs and she reached into his pocket and withdrew his cell phone and his handcuff key. He was so in shock over what she had done that he just stood there. She also reached to his waist and took his pistol from him and then bent down and took his backup pistol pout of the holster at his ankle. He finally snapped out of it. "No, you can do this!" He yelled and pulled against the cuffs again. She turned and put his stuff on the island where he couldn't reach them.

"I am so sorry, but I have to do this," she told him as she put her hand on the side of his face and stared at his face as if trying to commit it to memory even more than what it already was.

"No!" Hotch yelled as he pulled on the cuff again. He knew it wouldn't do him any good, the steel poles where part of the house's structure. He grabbed her with his free hand. "Please don't do this!" he pleaded. He noticed the tears in her eyes, and he knew she had resolved to go after Demitri herself.

"I will find him, Aaron," she told him softly.

"I can't let you do this!"

"You don't have a choice in it right now."

"Let me handle him, please," he begged as his eyes stung and burn as he tried not to let the tears win.

"Why?" she asked as she deftly got out of his grasp. "You can't handle this monster."

He struggled hard against the cuffs as he watched a tear fall down her cheek. He wanted to yell at her, to tell her that he could handle it, but he wasn't sure of the truth in that thought. "Please don't do this, Kahlan. The kids need their mother." It was a below the belt blow, but he was desperate.

"And they need their father, too! Your logic doesn't just run one way, Aaron."

"Then let's do this together!"

"I can't take the chance of you getting hurt or killed by someone from my past, Aaron. He is my responsibility."

"But it's my job!"

"Why? Because you're Aaron fucking Hotchner? None of you are qualified for this job," she told him.

"Kahlan, please, I can't lose you!" he yelled as she walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs. "Kahlan!" He pulled on the cuffs with all of his might and then pulled on the shelves and the pole, trying to shake it loose.

Within minutes she came back down stairs with black bag in her hand. "Tell everyone I am sorry."

"No! You tell them your damn self!" he was beyond pissed, and he wasn't sure he was more mad at her for doing what she was doing or at himself for falling into her trap.

She nodded; she understood why he was mad. "I am sorry, Aaron, and I do love you. Always remember that," she told him softly as tears fell freely down her cheeks.

"Please!" It broke his heart and his own tears started. "Please don't do this, Kahlan!"

"Sampson, Goliath!" Kahlan called for the two dogs, and they came running. "Stay with Dad and protect him if he needs it." They went and sat by Hotch's legs. She gave him a small smile and walked towards the door.

"You can't just leave me here, Kahlan!" It would be hours before anyone would think he was missing, so he knew he would be stuck all day as she got further and further away from him. "Kahlan!" he yelled one more time before he heard the front door shut. "Thanks for the help, guys," Hotch told the dogs. Sampson wined. Hotch wished he wore the cuff links she had gotten him for Christmas. He tried one more time to struggle against the cuffs. With bleeding wrists, he dropped to his knees, crying for what he thought might be the last time he would ever see his wife again.

XXX

About an hour later, Rossi tried to call Hotch. When it went to voicemail, he tried Kahlan's cell. It, too, went to voice mail. So he asked Garcia to trace Hotch's and they realized it was at his house. Rossi figured the discussion wasn't going well and decided to let them work it out on their own.

XXX

Two hours later, though and still nothing from Hotch, Rossi was starting to get extremely worried, so he decided to go check on the couple he considered family. When he got to Hotch's and saw Hotch's car and not Kahlan's, he got even more worried. When he got to the door and found it unlocked, he became frightened. He drew his weapon, opened the door, and slowly made his way in. He heard the dogs bark and they came running. Sampson had his teeth showing and the hair on his back was standing up. Rossi froze; he had never seen the dogs react that way. Once they saw it was him, though, they calmed down. Goliath wagged his tail. Sampson whined and ran toward the kitchen. Rossi followed the distressed dog, and his heart sank when he saw Hotch sitting on the floor, knees drew up in front of him, and his right arm raised above him. He advanced quickly and realized Hotch had been cuffed to the pole. "What the hell, Hotch?" He asked him as he took out his key and unlocked his friend's wrist.

Hotch looked up at him slowly. Rossi could tell he had been crying. "She's gone, Dave," is all Hotch said as he let his numb arm fall to his side.

"What do you mean, gone?" Rossi asked him as he helped him up.

"She went after Mordecai. She cuffed me to that damn pole and I couldn't stop her!"

"We've got to go get her," Rossi started as he headed back towards the door but stopped when he realized Hotch was heading up stairs.

"She's been gone for almost four hours, Dave. Where would we even start looking?" Hotch asked as he went to his bedroom.

Rossi ran to catch up with him and found Hotch standing by his bed. Rossi went up to see what Hotch was staring at. Hotch took a shaky breath as he reached down and picked up Kahlan's wedding rings from off her pillow. He closed his fingers around them and had to fight the sting of threatening tears. "I was so pissed at what she did to me that I didn't even tell her I love her." He brought his fist up to his mouth. "Why didn't I tell her I love her?"

Rossi wasn't sure what to say, so he put his hand on Hotch's shoulder to let him know he was there for him.

Hotch took a deep breath and put the rings in his pocket. Kahlan's gun case was also on the bed, empty. He picked up her iPod and also but that in his pocket with the shake of his head. Rossi looked in a box that was sitting on the floor by the bed. "Son of a bitch!" Rossi said as he pulled out the contents. Hotch looked at him and he knew what had made Kahlan make her decision. Rossi was holding up an FBI Kevlar vest and the sun could clearly be seen through the seven holes in the vest. "Apparently letting you know you were in danger didn't give him the desired results, so he sent this to her."

"The bastard has armor piercing rounds, Dave."

"I know, Aaron," Rossi told him as he put the vest back in the box. "But so does she."

Hotch reached down and picked up her cell phone. "Well, I guess I shouldn't expect a call anytime soon."

Hotch grabbed a box from off the bed that he'd never seen. There were several little boxes in it and he started opening them. One box still held its contents. Hotch couldn't be sure, but it looked like some sort of locator bug. He shook his head as he realized he was looking at her equipment box from when she used to work.

"What was in there?" Rossi asked as he looked in the box.

"I don't know; I've never seen it before." Hotch moved and opened a laptop. He assumed it was hers, but he had never seen it before either. He turned it on and realized it was password protected. "I should get this to Garcia."

"You don't know the password?"

"I've never even seen this laptop, so no; I wouldn't want to have to guess the password."

"So we know she's committed to this, and we think she's equipped for it, but we have no clue as to where she went."

Hotch took out his phone. "Where and the hell is she, Chuck?"

"What!?"

"Like you didn't know she was leaving!"

"Hotch, I swear. Where are you? How long has she been gone?"

Hotch could tell from the concern in Chuck's voice that he didn't know. "I'm at the house. She's been gonna over four hours.

"Why didn't you call me before. . . Never mind. I'm on my way. Don't leave until I get there!"

Hotch hung up the phone and looked at Rossi. "I was really hoping she had taken him with her."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

While Hotch and Rossi waited for Chuck, Hotch put in a call to Garcia to have an APB put out on Kahlan's car and had her search the traffic cams to see if she could figure out where Kahlan went. Chuck ran in through the door and found Rossi sitting at the table and Hotch pacing in the kitchen. "Do you have any idea where she might be?" Hotch asked before Chuck had even stopped moving.

"No, but Cameron can track her," Chuck told him as he took out his phone. After a few moments, they heard him talking to the computer genius from Kahlan's old team. "No, she's not at her house," Chuck told him with concern.

Hotch's shoulder's slumped a little more as he held up a little glass vile for Chuck to see. "Is this what he's tracking?"

"Son of a bitch!" Chuck yelled as he looked at the locator that had been their key to finding Kahlan. "No, Cam, the locator's here. No, we're not sure yet. Yes, I will call you as soon as I know anything," Chuck ended the call and took the locator from Hotch. "If she's removed this, then I have no idea how to find her."

"Where was that thing?" Rossi asked not really sure he wanted to know.

"We all have one injected into our forearms," Chuck told him sadly.

Rossi winced, that meant she had dug it out on her own. "Still, though, you guys used to track people for a living, right?"

"Yeah, but tracking's the easy part. Kahlan was the expert who did the finding, so we could do the tracking."

"Alright, we know he targeted Hotch to get Kahlan to come out. Do you think he wants her dead?" Rossi asked Chuck.

Chuck looked at Hotch then looked back to Rossi. Rossi could tell he didn't want to answer the question in front of Hotch. "Just answer him, Chuck," Hotch told him.

Chuck took a deep breath. "Eventually, yes."

"Meaning he wants to get his hands on her first, not just kill her out right," Hotch said through shaky breaths as he slid down the back of one of the chairs.

"What's your honest opinion? Do you think she can get to him first?" Rossi asked Chuck.

"I don't know. Fifteen years ago, of course, but now that she's been out so long, I really don't know," Chuck told him and shook his head.

"What will he do to her if he gets his hands on her?" Hotch asked him desperately.

Chuck blanched. "I'm not answering that!"

Hotch jumped up and grabbed the front of Chuck's shirt and slammed him back against the wall. "Tell me!"

Rossi jumped up to stop Hotch, but Chuck put up his hand to stop him. "Aaron, I know you're really hurting and mad right now, and if you need to beat the shit out of someone to make you feel better, you go right ahead and swing. I will let you take out all your anger on me, but I will not answer that question."

Hotch let him go roughly. "I'm going to Garcia. I can't sit here and do nothing," Hotch told them as he grabbed Kahlan's laptop and started for the door.

"Hotch, wait up," Rossi told him as he caught up with him. Chuck joined them and they all got in Rossi's car and headed to the BAU. Hotch took Kahlan's iPod out of his pocket, and turned it on. It showed the playlist screen and Hotch saw two playlists had had never seen: A Playlist for Aaron and A Playlist for the Kids. He felt tears pricking at the back of his eyes as he touched the playlist she had made for him. He didn't recognize the first song on the list, so he put in one of the ear buds in and pushed play. 'I will Always Love You by Dolly Parton' started to play in his ear. He drew in a ragged breath as he listened to the beginning of the song. Once it finished the first chorus, he couldn't take it anymore and jerked the ear bud out of his ear as tears streamed down his face. He wished he hadn't listened to the goodbye song as he turned the iPod off and put it back in his pocket. Both Rossi and Chuck saw what he was doing, but neither of them questioned him about it. Hotch spent the rest of the ride staring out the window trying to get ahold of his emotions.

Hotch went straight to Garcia's lair as Rossi stopped to tell the team what had happened. "Oh sir, I am so sorry. I tracked her down Russell Road and onto 95 north, but I have found her again yet," Garcia told him.

He set the laptop down. "Can you get into this?"

Garcia rolled her chair to it and smiled. "Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem," she told him as she hooked a line from her computer to it and started typing. "Ut-oh."

"What?" Hotch asked her with concern.

She typed a little more. "Damn. The encryption is too tough for me to crack, maybe I can try. . . "

"That's fine." Hotch told her and turned to Chuck. "Think Cameron can get into it?"

Chuck looked at the screen. "It looks like something he may have set up. You want me to take it to him?"

Hotch shut it and picked it up. "No. Get him to come over to the house this evening." Hotch wasn't about to let the only thing that may help him find his wife out of his sights. Chuck nodded and took out his phone.

"Keep checking the cams, Garcia," Hotch told her as he headed to his office.

"You think we'll find her?" Garcia asked Chuck.

"I don't know, Pen. I really don't," he told her and followed Hotch.

XXX

That evening, the whole team plus Chuck and Cameron were at Hotch's house. Rossi had Chinese delivered and they all ate and discussed theories and ideas while Cameron worked on Kahlan's laptop. "Hello," Cameron said and everyone stopped talking. "Finally. She's better at computers than I ever gave her credit for," he mused as he searched her desktop. Hotch went to look over his shoulder. Her background was a family portrait they had taken when Joey turned three, and Hotch's chest tightened as he thought about having to face the kids without her. Cameron brought up her email and looked at the last messages. "Well, now we know how she found out about the pictures," Cameron told Hotch as he brought up the pictures.

Garcia plugged her laptop into Kahlan's and started tracing the email.

"You think he's going back to Baltimore?" Reid asked. They had found out from a file Kahlan gave them that Mordecai grew up there.

"Possibly, but if it were me, I'd go someplace new so none could find me," Chuck told him. Hotch gave him a dirty look. "Well, I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes. Isn't that what you guys do to find your unsubs?"

"Ahhhh, Hotch," Cameron started and by the look on his face and his tone, Hotch didn't want to know what he found.

Hotch walked back over to him and looked at the screen. "What?"

"These files are for you and the kids," Cameron told him as he opened the icons. There were several documents that were dated into the future.

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose. _She left us letters in case she doesn't make it back._ "Don't open them," he told him as he walked into the kitchen.

Rossi got up to follow him. "Hotch?" Rossi found him with his back to him. He was gripping the countertop so hard that his knuckles were white with the strain.

"It's like she knows she's not coming back, Dave," Hotch told him weakly.

"You can't think that, Aaron," Rossi told him as he put his hand on Hotch's shoulder.

"It's not what I think, it's what she thinks. She's left files for us to read, she's left songs she wants us to listen to, I. . I can't think. . ."

"Aaron."

"What am I gonna tell the kids?" Hotch asked him and he started crying.

"You tell them she had to go take care of a few things and that she'll be back. You have to believe she'll be back, Aaron."

"But Wyatt knew there was something wrong. I promised him I would protect her. How can I ever face him again?" He asked through sobs.

"Wyatt knows you both. If something happens, he'll know you did your best to prevent it." He turned Hotch around to look at him. "You don't know; she might hunt him down, kill him, and be back in a couple days. Don't write her off yet," Rossi told him with a small smile.

"I know, but. . ." Hotch took a deep breath and wiped his face. "I just have a really bad feeling about this, Dave."

XXX

Kahlan followed a man down the street. It wasn't Mordecai, but she knew it was one of his associates. She watched him go into an apartment building and she waited on the street, watching the building. Within minutes, she saw lights come on in the ground floor apartment. She smiled, walked up to the building, and quickly slipped in the door. A quick pick of the lock and she was inside the man's apartment. She quietly walked down the hall and saw the man sitting on a couch and watching TV. She shook her head._ So easy._ She put the barrel of her pistol to the back of his head and he froze, a beer inches from his lips. She cocked it to let him know she was serious. "Where's Mordecai?"

He flinched slightly. "I don't know who you're talking about."

"Wrong answer," she told him and hit him over the head with the butt of her pistol.

He grabbed his head as he rolled off the couch and stood up. "You fucking bitch!" He yelled as he took out a knife.

Kahlan smiled at him and put her pistol back in its holster. "If you tell me where he is, I'll let you live."

He laughed. "Yeah, we'll just see who's still standing when this is over," he told her as he made his way around the couch toward her. He weaved the knife around as if trying to show off his talent with the blade.

She just stood where she was waiting for the obviously stupid man. When he finally got close enough, he lunged at her with the knife. She sidestepped it with ease and brought her right elbow up to meet the man's face as his momentum brought his face past her. He screamed and grabbed his nose. "You'll pay for that, Bitch!" He lunged at her again and she sidestepped it again but took his legs out from under him and his momentum took him to the ground. She rolled him over, stripped him of his knife, and was on him in a split second. She could clearly see the fear in his eyes.

"I'll ask you again. Where's Mordecai?"

"Fuck you!" he spit.

She shook her head. "Wrong again," she told him and plunged the knife into one of his eyes. She got up and dusted herself off, straightened her ball cap and left the apartment.

XXX

"You want me to stay?" Rossi asked Hotch as they watched everyone else drive away. They hadn't come up with any leads as to where Kahlan or Mordecai might be, and Hotch finally sent them all home.

"No. I think I'd rather be alone if that's ok," Hotch told him as he headed back inside.

Rossi followed him. "You're not going to go running off are you?"

"How can I when I don't know where to run to?" Hotch asked him as he sat down on the couch heavily.

Rossi walked over to Hotch's drink cabinet and poured Hotch a scotch. He gave it to him and sat in the chair opposite him. "She will come home, Aaron."

"And I'm just supposed to sit and wait?"

"No. We will continue to look for her and him, but you can't just give up on her. Trust in your wife, Aaron."

"I did trust her, and she cuffed me to that damn pole!" Hotch yelled as got up and slammed the drink on the coffee table, spilling most of it.

Rossi finally realized that was what was bothering him the most. "She felt she needed to protect you."

"I'm the one who is supposed to protect her!"

"Hotch, Mordecai could have killed you at any time. He's not our type of unsub. This is Kahlan's fight and she knows it."

"So you're perfectly fine with what she has done?" Hotch asked getting more and more pissed.

"No, but I understand why she did it." Rossi stood up and walked to Hotch. "She gave us our chance to get him, Aaron, and when we couldn't do it, and he continued to threaten you. Well, she just took things into her own hands. She sees this as her responsibility."

Hotch knew Rossi was right, but it still didn't make him feel any better. "She shouldn't have gone alone!"

Rossi pursed his lips. He knew there would be no talking to Hotch with the mood he was in and the hurt still so fresh. "Try to get some rest, Aaron. I'll see you in the morning at the office."

Hotch took a deep breath and nodded as his phone rang. He took it out quickly and sunk back into the couch. "It's the kids."

Rossi winced. "You want me to stay?" Hotch shook his head and answered the phone with as cheerful a voice he could muster. Rossi patted him on the back and let himself out. He walked to his car and took out his phone to call Chuck.

"Hey, Rossi. How's he doing?"

"About as good as can be expected. You think Mordecai is still after him? That maybe he was just trying to get Kahlan out of the way?"

"I don't think so, but I have a few friends keeping an eye on the house just in case."

Rossi looked around and he didn't see anyone. "Here at Hotch's?"

"If you could see them, Dave, they wouldn't be very good at their job now would they?"

Rossi smiled in spite of himself. "I guess not. Keep me posted on anything you all find."

"Of course, make sure you do the same, even if Aaron doesn't want to include us."

"I will. Talk to you later, Chuck."

"Yep."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Hotch ended the call with his children and dropped his head into his and let himself cry again. He thanked God that the kids didn't have a laptop with them that would have allowed them to Skype with him because he knew it was hard enough to keep his voice steady, and he knew he would never have been able to keep his facial expressions straight. Wyatt suspected something was wrong, Hotch could tell, but he didn't ask him about it. _He's just like his mother; he can read me too easily._ He wasn't sure if he could keep the charade up for the two weeks they were supposed to be gone; it would get harder with each passing day. He took a deep shuddering breath and went upstairs.

He cleaned off their bed and put all of the boxes into Kahlan's closet; he figured that is where she had kept them. He walked to the bathroom and started the shower. He stripped and got in and let the hot water try to relax him. He leaned with one hand on the wall of the shower and hung his head. The water helped wash away his tears as he remembered the last shower he had taken was with his wife. _Please come home. Please come home,_ he kept wishing as felt his muscles releasing some of the tension they had stored up all day. He lost track of time and suddenly realized that the water had turned cold. He turned the shower off and got out and dried himself off. Feeling totally exhausted he flopped down on the bed without even getting dressed, and he was asleep within moments.

Hotch woke up with a jolt. Not knowing what happened, he woke up quickly. He sighed as he realized he had fallen off the bed on Kahlan's side; apparently he had tried to snuggle up to her in his sleep. He painfully realized it was the first time he had slept in the bed alone; Kahlan had always planned her trips to her family around Hotch's cases. He shook his head and looked at the clock 3:42. With a sigh, he got into a pair of sweats and went down stairs. He flopped down on the couch and the dogs came up to him. Sampson put his head on Hotch's leg and whined. "I miss her, too, buddy," Hotch told him as he scratched him behind the ears. Hotch moved to the center of the couch and patted the cushions on both sides of him. They both jumped up and laid down next to him. Kahlan had never allowed the dogs on the couch, but they always suspected them of sleeping on the couch when no one was looking. He stroked both dogs down their backs over and over again, and he was back asleep in minutes.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan laid on a bed in a dingy hotel room staring at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep. She kept seeing Aaron's face as she walked away from him. The look of betrayal he gave her broke her heart. She knew he would probably never forgive her for doing that to him, but she had to protect him. She felt her anger rise for the man she was hunting. He had made her do that to Aaron, and he would pay for threatening her husband. She couldn't figure out what Mordecai's plan was. He could have killed Aaron several times. He probably even had her in his sights at one time or another, too. If he just wanted them dead, they would already be dead. She slammed a fist onto the bed. Maybe the plan was to torture her by making her leave her family. _Psychological torture before the kill, I was an expert._ Apparently Mordecai was now, too.

**XXXXX**

Rossi opened Hotch's door quietly. If Hotch was actually sleeping, he didn't want to disturb him until it was actually time for him to get up. He stepped into the house and saw Hotch lying on the couch. Both dogs looked up at Rossi; they were lying on and around Hotch. Rossi smiled. _At least he had some company._ He left Hotch alone and went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

Hotch awoke to the smell of coffee and as soon as he moved the dogs jumped down and let him sit up. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked at his watch, 7:18. He stood up, stretched, and then walked into the kitchen. He gave Rossi a small smile and took the mug Rossi offered him. Rossi studied him. "You get much sleep?"

"A few hours. I started up stairs, but sleeping alone in that bed doesn't work, so I came down here."

Rossi nodded his understanding. He had dealt with three wives leaving, so he had a small idea of how Hotch felt. "Are you going in today?"

"Yes. I can't sit around this empty house; that would drive me crazy," Hotch told him as he went to the table.

"I was hoping you would say that." Rossi followed him and took a seat opposite him.

"I feel so helpless, Dave. I'm a highly trained FBI agent, and yet there isn't anything I can do help my wife."

"We will continue to look for her, Aaron, but I don't know what else we can do."

Hotch nodded. "In a way, I hope we get a case, so I can focus my mind on something else, but I'm afraid of leaving."

"Well, Chuck and Cameron and God knows who else is on this, too. You'll know the instant anyone finds anything."

Hotch nodded again and took a drink of his coffee. "I'll go get ready."

Hotch walked into his bedroom and the silence was oppressive. He realized that there was always noise in the house when Kahlan was there. She either had the tv or the stereo on until she went to bed. He had never asked her why she hated silence, but now he could understand it. The silence was screaming at him: 'you're alone!' He shuddered and went to his closet. The grabbed the first suit he put his hand on and shook his head. It was his black one and Kahlan had hung his blood red tie around the hanger. It was her favorite. He sighed but decided to wear it and grabbed one of the many white dress shirts he had. As he looked in the mirror and tied the tie, he could just imagine Kahlan smiling at him. He gave his image one last look and realized he actually looked like shit. Anyone who knew him would know he hadn't slept well and that he had spent most of the night in tears. He shook his head. _Oh well._

He carried his shoes down stairs and sat at the table and put them on. Rossi had poured him another cup of coffee. He took a drink of it and got up to get his brief case. He looked at the laptop sitting next to it. Cameron had taken off the password protection, so Hotch could access it anytime he wanted. He silently prayed to God that Kahlan would be home before he ever had to read what she had left for him and the kids. He went back to the table and took another drink of his coffee and squared his shoulders. "Ready?"

Rossi smiled and got up. "Yep."

XXX

They did get a case, but Hotch was actually more frightened of going so far away than he thought he would be. Rossi sensed it and offered for Hotch to stay, but Hotch knew he had a job to do. With a sigh he joined the rest of the team on the jet. They were headed to Nebraska, and Hotch was very aware of his close vicinity to his kids, but he tried to concentrate on the case. He texted Donna, and told her he was on a case, so he knew they wouldn't call, but he knew they would be waiting for a call from him once he was done for the night especially since they hadn't heard from their mother. It was a call he spent the day dreading. The team knew he was distracted, and they helped cover for him. Once he was in the hotel, he found himself in tears again, and he wasn't sure he could call them. He knew Donna would cover for him, but he felt bad about not telling her about Kahlan, either. He vowed to himself that if Kahlan wasn't home by the time the kids got back, that he would tell her family the truth. He prayed that Kahlan would be back to spare him of that vow.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan walked down the street very aware of the two men following her. A quick glance in the glass of a store front revealed that neither of them were Mordecai, but she knew he had sent them. She ducked into the next alley and waited for them behind a row of dumpsters. "Damn it! I knew we should have gotten closer!" one of the men yelled as he took in the empty alley.

"But Dee said to just follow her. We're not supposed to engage her until we know where she staying."

"He's going to kill us," the first man said as he turned to go back to the street.

"Not if I kill you first," Kahlan told them coldly as she stepped out from behind the dumpster.

Both men jumped as her voice startled them. They noticed she had a piece of pipe in her hand. "Mordecai wants to talk to you," the taller one told her.

"Then why don't you tell me where he is so I can see what he wants?"

The shorter one took out a pistol. "You can just come with us."

Kahlan kept glancing from one man to the other. "I think I'd rather see him on my own terms, but thanks for the offer."

"It wasn't a request," the man with the pistol told her as he walked towards her. Kahlan smiled and waited for him to get closer. "Put the pipe down," he told her.

"This?" she asked as she grabbed it with both hands and held it in front of her.

"Put it down!"

"Ok," she said as she threw it at the man's face. As he ducked she rushed in and relieved him of his pistol, shot the other man in the chest with it, and twisted, taking the shorter man's feet out from under him. She dropped to her knees and straddled him. She pulled a knife from it sheath at her waist and held it up to the man's throat. "I'm going to let you live as long as you promise to do me a favor." The man's wide eyes stared at her in horror. "You are going to tell Mordecai that I'm coming for him. Do you understand?" The man nodded quickly. "You're a good boy," Kahlan told him and tasseled his hair. The look on her face turned deadly again and the man swallowed hard. "You will do it tonight!" He nodded again.

She jumped up and the man slowly got up, staring at his pistol in Kahlan's hand the whole time. "He'll kill you, you know."

Kahlan smiled. "Oh, I don't think so."

The man took one more look at her and left the alley. Kahlan went over and picked up the pipe. She took the magazine out of the pistol and then took the pistol apart. She used the pipe to damage the firing pin enough that the pistol would be useless. She then threw all of the pieces into the nearest dumpster and walked back to the man she had shot in the chest. She plunged her knife into one of his eyes and walked back out onto the street. The man was nowhere to be seen, but she took out her phone and watched the blip make its way to her target.

**XXXXX**

The next day Hotch and the team were going over evidence into the room the sheriff had given them for the case. Hotch's phone went off and when he saw the message was from Chuck, he immediately opened it. He wanted Hotch to call him as soon as he had a chance. Hotch knew that he hadn't found Kahlan because he would have just called, but he knew Chuck must have some information about her. "I'm going to step outside. Chuck wants me to call him," Hotch told the team. He could tell by their faces that they hoped it was good news.

Rossi followed him and Hotch put it on speaker. "What do you have, Chuck?"

"She was in Baltimore yesterday."

Hotch got excited. "How do you know?"

"We found a known associate of Mordecai's."

"And he said he saw her?"

"Not exactly. He isn't doing much talking anymore."

Hotch took a deep breath; he knew the man was dead. "And you're sure it was her?"

"Oh yeah."

"How can you be so certain?" Rossi asked him.

"Let me just say. . . It had her signature."

Hotch looked at Rossi. They knew all about signatures, and he was sure he didn't want to know what Kahlan's was. "You think she's still there?"

"Hard to say. We're looking, but I just figured you needed to know."

"Thanks, Chuck. At least I know she's still alive."

"Yep."

Hotch ended the call. "I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse," Hotch confessed.

"Hotch, you know if she killed that man, that she didn't do it in cold blood."

"Are you sure about that, Dave? As upset as she was. . ."

"Just stop! You know as well as I do, that Kahlan only does what is needed."

"You're right, I'm sorry. It's just this whole thing is messed up."

"I know. Maybe this means she's getting close to the bastard."

Hotch nodded and went back inside. They had a case to solve, and he suddenly wanted to do it even faster, so he could get home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Hotch ended the call with the kids with a sigh. They knew he was on a case and he was thankful they hadn't kept him on long. Hotch could tell, though, that Jack was starting to get worried, too. He shook his head; his kids were just too smart. He thanked God that Joey was still so young. He'd smiled as she told him excitedly about the pony she got to ride at Wyatt's uncle's place, and he hoped that their worry for Kahlan didn't completely ruin the boys' vacation.

He finally allowed himself to try to relax as he sank onto the hotel bed. _If she was alive yesterday, she's alive today._ He sighed and grabbed the extra pillow and hugged it. _Please be careful, and please come home soon._ He drifted off to sleep thinking about his wife.

Hotch woke with a start. Breathing heavily and drenched in sweat, he sat up. _Just a dream! It was just a dream!_ He had to keep telling himself to try to get the image of Kahlan out of his head. He had dreamt he had found her just like the victims in Baltimore: in a pool of blood with her throat cut. He shook his head; the image wouldn't leave. He looked at the clock. 2:48. He rubbed a hand through his hair and got up and splashed cold water on his face. He walked to the little table and picked up the case file. He didn't want to go back to sleep because he was afraid of having another horrible dream.

XXX

Hotch awoke to someone knocking on his door. He sat up stiffly; he had fallen asleep leaning on the little table. He opened the door to find Rossi holding two cups of coffee. He gave Rossi a small smile and Hotch opened the door completely to allow him to enter.

"Damn, you look like shit," Rossi told him as he handed him a cup.

"Thanks. I think I need this more this morning than I ever have."

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Rossi asked him as he sat on the bed.

"A little."

Rossi could tell Hotch wasn't telling him everything, but he didn't press him. "She'll be fine, Aaron." Rossi could tell by Hotch's look that he wasn't so sure.

"I'm gonna take a shower," Hotch told him and grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom.

Rossi shook his head and prayed that Kahlan would hurry and come home safe.

XXX

Two days later, Hotch got another text from Chuck, but they were in route to taking down their unsub, so it would have to wait. As soon as the man was in custody, Hotch went outside to call Chuck and let the team handle things. "Hey Hotch," Chuck said into the phone.

"What happened?"

"We found another one."

"Still in Baltimore?"

"Yep."

"When?"

"Yesterday around six the ME thinks."

"ME? Are the cops involved with this?" Hotch asked suddenly worried about his wife being wanted for murder.

Chuck laughed. "No, the company is handling the cleanup. The ME is a good friend of mine."

The company, Hotch knew that meant there would no link from Kahlan to the bodies. _If there even are any bodies found_. "Alright. Thanks again, Chuck."

"Keep your head up, Hotch. She's probably getting close to him."

"Yeah, I know, and that's what scares me." Hotch ended the call and walked back into the house to help the team.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan watched the house where the blip on her phone told her that her new friend was. She had been watching it for a couple days and hadn't seen anyone coming or going. She bit her lip and decided to wait for the cover of darkness to enter. She had a feeling Mordecai wasn't in there, but she still had to go in and find out for sure.

**XXXXX**

Hotch and the team were on the jet and flying back home by eight that night. On the ride home Hotch told Rossi what Chuck had found. "Hell, she'll probably have Demitri within a few days," Rossi told him with a smile.

"If she's getting close to him, he has to know it." Hotch couldn't help it; he just couldn't get the bad feeling he had out of his gut to be as optimistic as everyone else.

"Well, she's gotten this far. You might be surprised."

Hotch huffed and shook his head. "I just wish she'd call me or something."

"She probably doesn't want to be distracted."

"I know, but knowing she's out there doing what she's doing and knowing I'm not there helping is killing me."

Rossi patted him on the leg. "I know, Aaron. I know."

**XXXXX**

With a pistol in hand, Kahlan entered the quiet house. She silently made her way through the rooms in search of the man she had bugged. "You poor bastard," Kahlan said as she looked at the man hanging from the exposed rafters. Apparently Demitri didn't' like the message he had delivered for her and had the man tortured and killed. She walked up to the body; a note was pinned to the man's shirt. She read the note, smiled, and left the house.

**XXXXX**

Once Hotch was home, he didn't even attempt to sleep in the bed. He grabbed a blanket out of the linen closet and headed for the couch. Once he was laid down, the dogs joined him. He drifted off to a fitful sleep full of imagined horrors that his wife was facing.

XXX

Two days later and no case, Hotch spent the day worrying and trying to concentrate on paperwork. He wasn't sure if no news was good news or not. The whole team watched as his mood got darker each day. Rossi was also sitting at his desk. He was worried, too, but he was more worried for Hotch than he was for Kahlan. His phone rang and he jumped. He answered it when he saw that it was Garcia. "Hey, Kitten."

"We have a problem."

Rossi sat up straighter; he didn't like her tone. "What?"

"Kahlan's car has been found."

"Where? Why is that a problem? Why aren't you telling Hotch this?" Rossi asked so quickly that Garcia couldn't even attempt to answer.

"I received pictures from Anne Arundel County police. I was hoping you'd tell him for me. I just can't. . ."

"I'll be right there," Rossi told her, hung up the phone, and went to her office after making sure Hotch didn't see him. As soon as he opened her door, he could see the images on the screen. Rossi's heart sank.

"See why I couldn't tell him. Please, Rossi. I will do anything if you will tell him. Anything."

"I'll take care of it. Send the address to my phone," he told her as he squeezed her shoulders.

She gave him a small smile and typed on her keyboard quickly. "I actually sent the coordinates to the GPS in the SUV, too." Rossi nodded and went to leave. "Tell him, I'm sorry. Tell him. . ."

"I will, Kitten," Rossi told her sadly and left to go deliver the news to Hotch.

Rossi knocked on Hotch's door and entered without waiting for a response. Hotch looked up at him questioningly. "What?"

"Come on. We need to take a ride."

"A ride? Where?" Hotch asked as he stood up.

Rossi took a deep breath. "Kahlan's car has been found."

Hotch swallowed hard. He knew it must have been bad with the way Rossi was acting. "Just her car?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me, Dave."

"It's not good. We should go."

Hotch felt his heart race, and he was having trouble breathing. "Dave?"

"Come on. I'm driving."

Hotch finally nodded and followed Rossi out of the bullpen and down to one of the SUVs. Hotch sat in the passenger seat and stared out the window. He didn't want to know what had Rossi so upset. He closed his eyes and prayed that Kahlan was alright.

Hotch's breath caught in his chest as he looked at his wife's car. The front end of it was wrapped around a telephone pole. He jumped out of the SUV before Rossi even put it in park. A local police officer was waiting with the car. Hotch ignored him as he walked up to the car slowly. He approached it from the driver's side; the door was still open, and the first thing he saw was blood on the deployed airbag. That wasn't surprising with the type of crash, but he also saw a lot of blood on the back of the seat. His eyes followed the trail of blood to a little pool on the seat. It was smeared across the seat and Hotch knew Kahlan had gotten out of the car.

Rossi went up to the officer and identified himself and Hotch and then joined Hotch at the car. He saw several bullet holes in the windshield. _Son of a bitch!_

Hotch looked around them frantically, then he looked at the ground. Rossi wasn't sure what he was looking for, but then he saw the blood trail Hotch started following. Rossi took out his phone and called Garcia. He had her search the local hospitals for Kahlan and had her order a tech unit to come out to the car and have it towed back to Quantico. He hung up and joined Hotch at the side of the road.

"It ends here. It looks like she got a ride," Hotch told him weakly.

"Yeah."

Hotch tried to swallow the lump in his throat and walked back to the car.

"She might not have even been the one driving it," Rossi suggested as he followed Hotch.

"Yes she was." Hotch said as he walked up and looked at the interior more closely. "The son of a bitch shot her, Dave," he told him as he noticed a bullet embedded in the seat.

Rossi leaned in to get a better look. "Then it went through. That's a good thing."

"Yeah, but where are the other slugs?" There were four holes in the windshield.

Rossi looked back to the skid marks on the road. "It looks like the shots came from that direction. Maybe that barn," Rossi told him as he pointed further down the road.

Hotch stood up and looked where Rossi was pointing. "So he waited for her, shot at her, she crashed here, and what? Either she got away or he got her," Hotch told him and he couldn't stop his eyes from watering. He walked back to the SUV and put a hand on it as he tried to get ahold of his emotions. Rossi let him have his privacy and called Chuck to let him know. Then he told the officer that he wanted him to go check out the barn. The officer called for backup and left.

Rossi walked up behind Hotch and put his hand on his shoulder. "This doesn't mean anything, Aaron."

"It means she's hurt, Dave, and God only knows how bad."

"But it doesn't mean he has her."

"Then where is she?" Hotch turned on him. "She's hurt and she still didn't call me! Why didn't she call me?" Hotch yelled as he couldn't hold his tears back any longer. His knees gave out on him and he fell to the ground.

Rossi knelt down in front of him. He pulled him into a hug. "I don't know, Aaron," Rossi told him softly as he let Hotch cry against his shoulder.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Kahlan looked at the hotel; it was perfect: small, secluded, and each little room was a standalone cabin. There wasn't another vehicle in sight either, so she guessed that it was empty. She quickly paid for a room and grabbed the key. She unlocked the door and went straight to the bathroom. As she peeled her coat off she muffled the scream that wanted to escape her lips. The whole left side of her shirt was soaked with blood. She struggled out of her shirt and was finally able to get a good look at the wound in her shoulder. She knew the bullet had passed through her, and she was pretty sure if hadn't hit any bones, but it still hurt like hell. She reached a tentative hand to the back of her shoulder to feel for the exit wound.

She ran warm water in the sink and used a wash cloth to clean the wound front and back. Fresh blood oozed from the wound and she knew she had to stop the bleeding. She pulled out her pistol and took out the magazine. She took two bullets out of it and pried the slugs off with her knife. She sat on the toilet and reached around to pour the powder into the exit wound as best she could. Then she poured the powder of the other bullet in the entry point. She took a couple of deep breaths and then put her knife handle into her mouth. She bit down hard and lit the powder in the entry wound with a lighter. The powder ignited and flashed through her shoulder. She screamed against the knife handle as the pain threatened to make her pass out.

She sat there breathing heavily and tried to get past the nausea that was hitting her in waves. She leaned her head back against the wall and tried to calm her breathing and heart rate. After about five minutes she got up and looked at herself in the mirror. The blood had stopped. The side of her face was a little burnt from the air bag and it had given her bloody nose, so she washed her face and hands. _No wonder the guy in the office looked at me so funny._ She thought she had been pretty lucky considering what could have happened, but she was beyond pissed. She figured the address she found was a trap, but she never thought Demitri would have shot at her in her car. He shook her head as she changed her clothes and then laid down on the bed slowly. Getting shot wasn't part of her plan, but she knew she would have to keep going. She also knew Hotch would find her car, and she prayed that he didn't jump to the wrong conclusion. _I am so sorry, Aaron. Please know that I'm alright._

**XXXXX**

Rossi let Hotch cry on his shoulder until his breathing finally started to go back to normal. Hotch pulled away from him and wiped his face. "I can't handle this, Dave."

It was killing Dave to see the man he thought of as a son in so much pain and not to be able to do anything about it. "Yes you can; you have to." Rossi told him as he stood up and pulled Hotch into a standing position. Hotch nodded weakly. The sheriff came back and reported that they didn't find anything in or around the barn, and after twenty minutes, the CSU team showed up. Once Rossi got them started, he got Hotch back in the SUV and they headed back towards Quantico.

Hotch didn't say a word the whole way back and Rossi knew he was trying to work things out in his mind. Once they pulled into the parking garage Rossi nudged Hotch on the leg. Hotch snapped out of his daze and realized they were back at the BAU. Hotch's silence was worrying Rossi, though, and he followed Hotch as he slowly walked back into the building. Hotch went to his office and closed the door. Rossi went and told the team what had happened and they were all just as worried as Rossi for their boss.

XXX

At the end of the day Rossi went into Hotch's office. He noticed that Hotch hadn't gotten any of his files done. "Come on. It's time to head out of here and you're staying with me tonight."

"No I'm not. I need to go home," Hotch told him without even looking at him.

"No you don't." Rossi grabbed Hotch's go bag. "See, you already have clothes."

Hotch finally looked at him. "Just go, Dave."

The sadness in Hotch's voice was breaking Rossi's heart. "No, not until you're up and going with me," Rossi told him as he sat down in his usual chair. "If you're staying, then I'm staying."

Hotch shook his head, put his elbows on his desk, and put his head in his hands. "I need to call the kids, but I don't think I can."

"You want me to call them? I'm sure they wouldn't have a problem talking to me."

"And what reason are you going to give them for me not calling?"

"I'll tell them you don't feel good. It's not a lie."

Hotch looked at him and then nodded.

"I'll call them as soon as we get to the house."

"Dave, I really don't feel like doing this right now."

"I know. That's why you need to just listen to me and come to my house. You can have a couple of stiff drinks and then crash in my guestroom."

"I don't need you to watch over me."

"I know you don't need it, but I do. Please don't make your daughter's Godfather go home alone tonight."

Hotch gave him a small smile and got up. "We have to stop by the house and take care of the dogs first."

"Morgan's already there. Come on, the scotch is waiting."

**XXXXX**

"You did what?" Demitri asked the man in front of him. "I told you I wanted her alive!"

"It didn't kill her. She got out!" The man defended himself.

"I told you to slow her down, not make her wreck her car. If she too damaged, I won't be able to use her!" The man cowered under Demitri's anger. "Where is she now?"

"I don't know," he admitted and took a step back from the angry man.

"You have one day to find her, or I'll kill you myself. Find her, but don't do anything without me! Understood?"

"Yes," he said quickly and ran out of the room.

**XXXXX**

Rossi got an early call from Garcia; they had a case. _Good. Maybe it'll get his mind off of Kahlan_, Rossi thought as he went to his guestroom to wake up Hotch. He opened the door and his stomach tightened; Hotch was sleeping on the floor. He shook his head. _This is killing him, Kahlan._ Rossi went over and leaned down and shook Hotch's shoulder. "Hotch. Come on. We've got a case."

Hotch moaned. "Go away."

"Come on. I've got coffee ready."

"No. I don't want to go," Hotch told him sleepily.

"Aaron," Rossi shook his shoulder again. "Come on. Wake up."

Hotch rolled over onto his side. "Nooo," he half growled. "Just leave me be."

"I wish I could, Aaron, but we have a case."

Hotch finally opened his eyes and looked at Rossi. His eyes were bloodshot, and Rossi knew he had spent most of the night crying. "A case?"

"Yep." Hotch nodded and Rossi moved so he could get up. "Why are you on the floor?"

Hotch got up on his hands and knees and finally got into a standing position. He looked at the bed questioningly. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Go jump in the shower. I'll have coffee waiting," Rossi told him and patted him on the shoulder as he left the room.

Hotch rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and winced as his head started pounded. _Damn. How much did I drink last night?_ Hotch asked himself as he grabbed his bag and made his way to the bathroom.

Rossi was ready by the time Hotch made it to the kitchen. He took the cup of coffee and the Tylenol Rossi had put out for him. "How much did you let me drink last night?"

"I don't know. I lost count after six. How you feeling?"

"Not too bad. I actually slept," Hotch told him with a small smile.

"Good. You needed it."

"Thanks, Dave."

"No problem. That's what friends are for."

XXX

Their case took them to Georgia, and while they all knew Hotch wasn't a hundred percent, Rossi was glad to see him focus on something else besides his wife. The next day, Rossi and Hotch were on their back from a crime scene when Chuck called. Hotch put him on speaker. "I interviewed this guy at a little hotel, and Kahlan was there the night after the accident."

Rossi saw Hotch visibly relax a little. "So she's ok?"

"There were traces of blood where she cleaned up, but, yes, he said she seemed fine when she checked out."

"Thank God!"

"He have any idea where she was headed?" Rossi asked.

"He said she asked directions to a car rental place, I'm headed there now."

"Thanks, Chuck. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"Oh, I think I do. I'll call you once I know anything else," Chuck told him and ended the call.

Rossi looked over at Hotch; he had a small smile on his lips, and that made Rossi smile.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan sat on the side of the street in the car she had rented. She watched two men leave the building she was watching, and then watched another go into it. It didn't seem like they were expecting her, but she knew looks could be deceiving. She pulled away from the curb and tried to find somewhere to wait until nightfall. She put a hand on her aching shoulder and decided it was time to rest. She pulled into a hotel and rented a room. She set the alarm for later that day and crawled into the bed and fell asleep thinking about her husband and children.

**XXXXX**

Chuck had called latter that day and told them what kind of car Kahlan had rented, but the man at the rental office had no idea where she was headed. Rossi called Garcia to put an APB out on the new car. Again they were faced with just waiting to see if anything new would turn up, but knowing she was alive and walking around made Hotch accept the waiting a little easier.

XXX

Hotch and the team all gathered around a table in an Italian restaurant to eat dinner. They were enjoying the meal and the break from the case that had six victims already.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan made her way silently to the building she thought Mordecai was in. She had her pistol in her right hand and her knife in her left. After disposing of one man on the perimeter, she made her way into the quiet building. She went around a corner and came face to face with two men. A quick throw of her knife took one down and the other charged her. She didn't want to use her gun and alert anyone else in the building, so she met his charge and used his momentum to flip him onto his back. He got up quickly and stuck out with his fist. She tried to doge it, but the blow caught her in her wounded shoulder. Stunned by the pain, he got the upper hand and grabbed her from behind. She slammed down her heel onto the top of his foot. A staggered back a little and she twisted and ducked under his arm. Before he knew what was happening, she had another knife to his throat.

"Kay! Stop!"

Kahlan looked at Demitri. With a smile she plunged the knife into the man's throat. "Oopps," she told him sarcastically and stood there breathing heavily as she stared at the object of her hatred.

"Well, it's good to see you haven't changed," he told her with a cold smile. Two men came into the room behind her.

"Just a little older and a lot angrier," she told him as she turned to try to keep all three men in her sight. Her hand went to the pistol at her side.

Demitri looked at the man behind her and nodded.

She drew her pistol with lightning speed, but it wasn't fast enough as she felt the bullet hit her in side. She instantly knew what kind of bullet it was. "I should have. . ." the pistol fell from her hand. "Known you were. . ." Her face showed her anger as she took a stumbling step toward Demitri. "Too much of. . ." she fell to one knee. "A coward to fa. . ." she dropped to the floor.

Demitri walked up to her and smiled. "Welcome back, Kay."

**XXXXX**

Hotch's fork froze on its way to his mouth. He took a shaky breath and slowly put the fork back down on his plate.

"What?" Rossi asked suddenly very worried.

"Something's wrong."

Everyone at the table fell silent at Hotch's tone and reaction.

"What do you mean?" Reid asked him with a quick glance at Rossi.

"I don't know, but. . ." Hotch told them as he stood up.

"Hotch?" Rossi asked as he also stood up.

"I need some air," Hotch told him and they could all see the concern on his face. He turned and walked toward the exit.

Rossi quickly caught up with him. Once they were outside. "What's wrong?"

"Something happened and it's not good," Hotch told him as his hands started shaking.

"Jesus, Aaron. Calm down. You don't know. . ."

"Yes I do! Damn it, Dave. Something happened!"

"Alright. What do you want to do?" Rossi didn't want to question the bond he knew Hotch shared with Kahlan.

"What can I do? I don't know where she is!" Hotch yelled as his eyes teared up. "Oh, God, Dave, what do I do?" He asked as he grabbed Rossi's shoulders.

Rossi's eyes teared up, too, at the anguish on Hotch's face. "Do you need to go home? Do you want me to call Chuck?"

Hotch let Rossi go and shook his head. He turned away from him and Rossi could see his whole body shaking. "Jesus, Dave, there's nothing I can do. Something has happened to my wife and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it."

Rossi put his hand on Hotch's shoulder. "Let's get you to the hotel. Then I'll call Chuck." Hotch nodded and walked mechanically to the SUV. Rossi texted Morgan to let them know they were headed to the hotel.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Hotch walked into his room and sat down on the bed heavily. He put his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. Rossi called Chuck, but Chuck didn't have anything to report. Rossi told him about Hotch's feeling, and he promised to search through the night. Rossi ended the call and sat down on the chair and watched Hotch. Hotch's ragged breathing was the only thing that could be heard in the room, and tears trailed silently down Rossi's cheeks for his friend. He didn't know what to say or do to help Hotch feel better, and he had never felt so helpless.

Hotch's breathing started to calm down, and after a while, Rossi thought he had fallen asleep in the position. "He has her," Hotch told him weakly.

Rossi almost didn't hear him. He got up and went and sat down next to him. He put his arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Aaron." He wanted to tell him that there was no way he could know that; that he needed to stay positive, but he knew that wouldn't help. He rubbed circles on Hotch's back and just sat with him.

"The kids will be home in five days. I've got to find her before they get home."

"We will." Rossi had no idea how, but if could be done, they'd do it.

"They can't come home to her not being there."

"I know."

Hotch suddenly sat up. "I'm gonna be sick," he said and ran to the bathroom.

Rossi went and stood by the door. He listened as Hotch wretched several times and even after his stomach was empty, dry heaves rocked him for several more minutes. Once he was done, Rossi wet a wash cloth and handed it to him as he sat on the bathroom floor. Hotch took the cloth and wiped his face and then wrapped his arms around himself. He looked like he was going to get sick again. Rossi went and grabbed a cup to get him some water. After one sip, he groaned. He gave the cup back to Rossi and just sat on the floor breathing heavily. After a few minutes, Rossi put his hand on his shoulder. "Come on. You don't need to spend the night on the floor."

Hotch accepted Rossi's hand and got up. He was shaking again. Rossi lead him to the bed and reached up and loosened Hotch's tie. "You need to get undressed."

Hotch got up and Rossi helped him out of his clothes and into his sweats. It was breaking his heart to see Hotch so defeated. Hotch was just mechanically following Rossi's orders, and that made Rossi worry even more. He pulled down the covers and Hotch crawled in and turned on his side away from Rossi. Rossi shook his head, turned off the lights, and sat down to keep an eye on him.

XXX

Hotch finally woke up, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and looked at his watch. He jumped up when he saw that it was 9:21. Rossi jumped up too because he hadn't even realized Hotch was awake. "What?" Rossi asked frantically.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"The team can handle things this morning. I thought you getting some rest was more important than us being there."

Hotch looked at him questioningly. "Did you sleep in that damn chair all night?"

Rossi looked back to the chair "It wasn't as bad as you'd think," Rossi told him with a grin.

"Jesus, Dave." Hotch started and ran a hand down his face. "I'm sorry I lost it last night. I. . ."

"Stop. It's fine. How are you feeling?"

Hotch gave him a small smile. "I feel like I have a hangover from hell."

"That sucks, especially since you didn't even drink anything," Rossi told him with a grin and handed him a Gatorade. Hotch looked at it questioningly. "I had Morgan bring it by this morning before they left."

Hotch took it and took several drinks. "Do I look as bad as I feel?"

"Weeellll," Rossi said with a smile.

"That bad, huh?" He chuckled. "I'll go get ready."

"Ok. I'll go do the same. Come to my room when you're done."

Hotch nodded and Rossi walked to his room thanking God that Hotch was at least acting normal again. _If anyone deserved to break down, it was him._

**XXXXX**

Kahlan awoke to find herself sitting in a chair. She tried not to let anyone know she was awake as she assessed her situation. Her hands were bound behind her, and the slight pressure on her ankles told her that her feet were bound to the chair's legs. Her chest was also bound to the back of the chair, and her heart sank a little as she realized she had been rendered completely immobile. _Son of a bitch!_ The way her head pounded, she knew that the drug used in the tranquilizer bullet had been a strong one. Her side also hurt where the bullet had hit her. It felt like she had been shot by a high powered paint ball gun at close range. She tried to not let herself think about what was going to happen now that Demitri had her, instead she tried to think of a solution to getting out of her current situation. Nothing came to mind, and she let her thoughts go to her husband._ I am so sorry, Aaron, I have failed,_ she thought as a tear escaped her eye. She took a slow deep breath. _If this is to be my fate, then so be it. I will try to take you with me, Demitri._

With renewed resolution, she sat up to face the eyes she felt on her. Demitri smiled. "Good morning."

"That depends on which chair your sitting in."

He laughed. "I guess that's true. I want to make a deal with you."

She furrowed her brows. "A deal?"

"Yep. I want you to kill someone for me."

_Shit!_ "Who?"

"We'll discuss that later. The deal is for you to come with me, quietly, and I'll promise not to kill your husband or those precious children that will be home in four days."

She felt her anger rise. _Not now. Not now. You can kill him the first chance you get, just make sure Aaron and the kids are safe first._ "Come with you where?"

"Again, that's for another discussion. Do we have a deal?"

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Of all the things I'm guilty of, Kay. Have you ever known me to lie?"

She studied his face. "No."

"We'll leave Virginia, and I'll never take another look at your family again."

"What do you mean by come quietly?" She had to make sure she understood all aspects of the deal she was about to make.

He smiled. "You can't try to escape or kill any more of my men."

_That's not fair._ "For how long?"

He raised his brows. "How long until you can try to escape, or kill more of my men?"

"I have to know what I'm agreeing to, and you have to know that I won't sit idly by why you do whatever it is you're going to do," she told him with a smile.

He smiled back at her. "Just until we get to where we are going. After that, I don't think you'll be in the shape to do either one."

_What the hell does that mean? _She took a deep breath. "And you'll leave my family alone?"

"Yes."

She gave him an evil smile. "Even if I try to escape or try to kill you as soon as we get there?"

"Yep."

She didn't like the way he was so sure of himself, but she couldn't see any other way out of it. "Deal."

He stood up and pulled out a knife. She watched him closely as he advanced on her and cut the ropes binding her against the chair. Once she was free, she stood up and rubbed her side. He smiled. "Shall we?" He asked gesturing toward the door.

**XXXXX**

Hotch tried to focus on the case as best he could. Even the cops knew he was distracted, but none of them were brave enough to say anything. He spent the next two days going through the motions, and he was glad his team was good enough to solve the case basically without him.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan spent the two days watching and trying to learn as much as she could about Demitri and his men. She wasn't sure where they were headed, but she knew they had reached their destination as soon as the men took out their weapons and aimed them at her. She smiled; apparently Demitri had told them she would try something as soon as they got there. It was nice to see all these hardened criminals afraid of her. Demitri had disappeared and the man she knew as Don walked her into a big building. She was also followed by three other men. She noticed the safeties were off on their guns, and she knew she'd never be able to get them all. She sighed and quietly walked through the building. _ A moment will present itself, just be patient._

Don stopped in front of a door and unlocked it. He gestured for her to go in. She peered around the doorway and looked at the room. It was empty except for a chain lying on the floor. She bit her lip and sighed. A chain would make escaping a little harder, not impossible, but definitely harder. She didn't let them see her disappointment and walked into the room with her head held high. Don walked over and picked up the chains. It was actually two, and she saw that they were connected to the floor with industrial strength hooks that were bolted and welded to the floor. Her heart sank a little at the sight. The other ends of the chains were fastened to one inch wrist shackles that looked like they belonged in a Medieval dungeon. As soon as he had one on her wrist, the other men left and she smiled.

As he grabbed her other wrist, she deftly wrapped the chain already hooked to her around the Don's throat and put her foot into the back of his knee. The opposing forces snapped his neck quickly. She searched him frantically for a key that would free her. She cussed when the only thing she found was his cell phone. Thinking quickly, she typed what might possibly the last message she would be able to send. Once she was done with that she sat and waited for someone to come. She knew she would probably have to pay a steep price for what she had done, but killing one more of Demitri's men and being able to send the message would be worth it.

**XXXXX**

Once they were wrapping up the case files and getting ready to head for home, Hotch's phone went off. He took it out and looked at the 'unknown number' questioningly. He opened the message and became even more confused. It was nothing but a bunch of numbers and symbols. With a shake of his head, he went back to packing up the files on the table around him.

Once they were on the jet, Hotch took out his phone to call the kids. He noticed the message from earlier, and it suddenly hit him; very few people had his cell number. _Could it be?_ He opened the message again. He still couldn't make any sense of what was written. He got up and walked to Reid. "Can you make anything of this?"

Reid could sense Hotch's excitement. He took the phone and looked at the message. After several moments, Hotch lost some of the excitement; if Reid was taking that long, then that probably wasn't good. "I would definitely think it's some sort of code, but with the small amount of information, I wouldn't want to guess at a cypher. I could try if you want me to."

Hotch shook his head. If it was a code and if it was from Kahlan, he knew exactly who to take it too.

"You think it's from Kahlan?" Rossi asked him as he looked over his shoulder at the garbled message.

"You want Garcia to trace the number?" Morgan asked suddenly excited.

"I'm not sure it's from her, but sure," Hotch told him and handed him his phone. Morgan pulled out his phone to call the bubbly tech.

"You're thinking Chuck," Rossi told him with a smile.

"If it's from her, yes, but why wouldn't she have sent it to him?" Hotch was starting to get his bad feeling back.

Rossi shoved Hotch into the nearest seat. He could tell Hotch was thinking a thousand bad thoughts.

"Because it's for me. Oh my God. . ."

"Hotch, come on, don't start freaking out yet. It might not be what you think it is," JJ told him as she went to him and knelt down in front of him and grabbed his hand.

"I'll have Chuck meet us at your house as soon as we get home," Rossi told him as he took out his phone. He knew Hotch wouldn't want to forward the message.

Hotch nodded and let his head rest back on the seat. _God, please don't let it be bad._ JJ patted him on the leg and returned to her seat. They all spent the rest of the flight watching Hotch because they could all feel his anguish.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"You left him alone in there with her?" Demitri yelled at the men who had just walked into the room.

"He had her chained. What could she do?" One of the men asked incredulously.

"You dumbass!" Demitri backhanded him across the face, and started for the door. "I told you to never let anyone go near her without someone on guard!" He took off down the hallway.

He came to a halt in front of the still open door. With a look at the men who had followed him, he stepped into the room. Kahlan was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. Don's body laid a few feet away from her. Demitri shook his head. One of the men leveled his gun at her, but all she did was smile at him. "I didn't break the deal," she told Demitri coldly.

"No you didn't. If he was stupid enough to under estimate you, then he deserved what he got." He noticed that one of the chains was not attached to her yet. He motioned for the men to take the dead man away. He grabbed the chain and threw it to her. "If you'd be so kind?"

She jumped into a standing position and all of the men flinched. She chuckled and picked up the chain. Another person might see having to chain themselelf up as a form of torture, but Kahlan just took it as a sign of fear from the man who was holding her. She clasped the shackle on her free wrist and snapped the lock shut. With a smile she went back to her place on the floor. She drew her knees up in front of her and wrapped her arms around them. "So when are we going to start this?" She wasn't sure what 'it' was, but she never considered herself a patient person.

"Don't worry. We'll get started soon enough," Demitri told her with a smile and left the room. Once they were all out, the door shut and she heard the lock engage.

_And now I wait._

**XXXXX**

Chuck was waiting at the tarmac when the jet landed. When he heard that there might be a message from Kahlan, he didn't want to wait to see it. Hotch and Rossi rode with Chuck to Hotch's house; their cars at the BAU could wait. On their way, Garcia called to let them know about the phone number she traced. "The phone is registered to a Donald Smith, an alias by the looks of the amount of data I can find on him. But the phone has been turned off so I can't trace it. I'm sorry."

"That's alright," Hotch told her weakly. He hadn't really thought she would have been able too, and he kicked himself mentally for not acting as soon as he got the message. She probably would have been able to trace it then. _Forgive me, Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was you._

Once they were there, they all made their way to the table. Chuck grabbed had a pad of paper and a pencil. "Let me see it," he told Hotch.

Hotch took out his phone, opened the message, and handed him the phone. Chucked furrowed his brows and sat down. Hotch watched him with intently. "Is it from her?"

"Yeah, but it's been a while. Just give me a second."

Hotch sat down next to him. He watched as Chuck scribbled things on the paper, scratched them out, and wrote something else. Hotch was getting worried that Chuck wouldn't be able to crack the message, but when he saw Chuck tearing up; he knew he had cracked it. "What?" Hotch asked frantically.

Chuck looked at him and stood up. He looked at the ceiling and tried to blink his tears away.

"What?" Hotch asked as he jumped up.

Rossi could see fear in both of the men's faces. None of them had ever seen Chuck show any emotion other than happiness and seriousness, and Rossi's heart broke for what he could just imagine Hotch was about to find out.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan searched the room they were holding her in closely. There weren't any windows, but the one light in middle of the ceiling lit the room up decently. She was glad they hadn't taken her watch, or she wouldn't have been able to tell the passage of time. From what she could see of the door, there was no way to get to the lock from the inside, so she knew if she was going to escape, she had to do it when someone came in the room. After her little escapade with Don, though, she wasn't sure anyone would be stupid enough to come into the room alone. She sighed. Knowing she had to take out at least two people at once wasn't impossible, but it definitely led to a bigger challenge. She also couldn't see any cameras or anything, but she knew they could be hidden. She had to know if they were watching, so she took off her right shoe and pulled a thin piece of metal out of the sole. She twisted it and bent it until it was the right shape and worked at picking the locks on the shackles.

**XXXXX**

"Chuck!?" Hotch started.

Chuck finally looked at him. "I'm so sorry, Hotch," Chuck told him as a tear escaped his eye.

"What does it say?" Hotch demanded.

Chuck shook his head slowly. He wasn't sure he could tell him. He shot a look at Rossi.

Rossi went over and put a hand on Hotch's shoulder. "Aaron. . ."

Hotch shook him off. "No! I need to know!" He stepped closer to Chuck. "Please!" He pleaded.

Chuck took a deep breath and looked Hotch in the eyes. "I can't figure all of it out."

"Then tell me what you have figured out."

"The first part says. . ." he took another deep breath. "I've made a deal with the devil, so Aaron and the kids are safe."

Hotch's bottom lip started to tremble. "No!" He turned around and looked at Rossi.

"Oh Aaron," Rossi started.

"No!" Hotch yelled again. "She gave herself up to protect me? Why? Why would she do that?" Hotch asked Rossi.

"What else does it say?" Rossi asked desperately hoping there was some good news in the message.

"There's more for Hotch, and then the part I don't understand," Chuck told him.

"What else is for me?" Hotch asked him.

"She says she loves you and that she's sorry," Chuck told him as his eyes watered up again.

Hotch pulled out a chair and sat down heavily. "What else does it say?" he asked quietly.

"It just says 'my list' and then a number. I don't understand what it means."

Rossi looked at him questioningly and then turned to Hotch. "Do you know what it means?" He asked as he put his hand on Hotch's shoulder.

Hotch shook his head. Hotch looked at Chuck. "Write it down, word for word."

Chuck nodded, sat down, and quickly wrote out Kahlan's message. Hotch took a deep breath, grabbed the written message and his phone, and stood up. He called Garcia. "I want every, every," he emphasized, "call and message coming into my phone traced immediately."

"Of course." Garcia said quickly.

Hotch looked at Chuck again. "Does her family know what she used to do?"

Chuck gave him a puzzled look. "They think she was an analyst for the CIA, why?"

"Because they need to know what's going on, and I need to know how to handle it."

"You're going to tell them?" Rossi asked with concern.

"They have a right to know. The kids come home the day after tomorrow. I need to figure out what I'm going to tell them, too." He looked around at both of them. "I'm sorry, but I want to be alone right now," he told them and headed out of the room. They watched him leave and then Chuck looked at Rossi. He nodded and followed Hotch.

"Hotch!" Rossi called after him. Hotch ignored him and went upstairs. "Aaron!" Rossi called and put his hand on banister to make to follow Hotch.

"Don't." Hotch told him.

"Aaron. . ."

"I need to process this, Dave. Please, let me do it alone," Hotch pleaded as his bottom lip started to giver again.

Rossi studied him for a minute and then nodded. He stepped back off the stair. Rossi sighed heavily and went to back to the table. If Hotch needed space, then he would give it to him. _At least for a couple hours, then I'll go check on him._ Chuck left to see if there was anything he could find on where Demitri may be holding Kahlan.

**XXXXX**

The locks were a little more intricate then she thought, but after twenty minutes both of her wrists were free, she braced herself for someone to come running in. Surely if they were watching her they wouldn't want her to be free of the chains. She waited for ten minutes. Either there wasn't a way for them to watch her, no one was manning the cameras, or they just didn't care. She put her shoe back on and hid the pick in her pocket. Then she got up and took a closer look at the door. Both the hinges and the lock were on the outside. _Damn it!_ At least being free of the chains allowed her to be next to the door to get the drop on anyone coming through it. She debated on whether or not to try to escape immediately. Getting out of the room was going to be easy, but getting out of the building was a different matter. She drummed her fingers on her legs and decided to wait. Maybe in a day or two the guards would relax a bit and escaping wouldn't be so risky. Besides, she really wanted to know who Demitri wanted her to kill. Resolved to stay in her cell, she went back and put the shackles back on her wrists. She then laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. _ I hate waiting!_

**XXXXX**

Hotch sat on Kahlan's side of the bed. He looked at her nightstand and picked up the only picture on it with a shaky hand. It was a snapshot Rossi hand taken of the whole family at the park just two weeks before he got the case in Baltimore. Hotch and the boys had been playing football and when the boys tackled him, Kahlan and Joey jumped on the pile, too. Hotch smiled as he looked at it. It was just one of the many great moments they had spent as a family, and a tear fell onto the glass protecting the picture as Hotch hoped it wouldn't be the last picture taken with his whole family. He put the picture back and stood up and started pacing.

_Why Kahlan? Why couldn't you trust in me to help you? How could you give yourself up to that monster?_ He let his tears flow freely. _You didn't need to do that! If he was threatening the kids, we could have protected them together!_ He felt his pain turning into anger. _How could you leave me? How could you do this to the kids? God damn you, Kahlan! _ He picked up the nearest thing he could get his hands on and hurled it at the wall. The fine porcelain shattered into a thousand pieces. He breathed heavily as stared at the broken remains, and felt his heart break just as easily as he realized that he had just destroyed Kahlan's favorite dragon. He sank to his knees and let all of his frustration come out in a scream aimed at the ceiling. His hands went to his head and he let himself bawl. _ I'm so sorry, Kahlan. I love you so much! If I could trade places with you, I would._ He sat back on his heels._ I will find you! I promise! If it's the last thing I do, I will find you! Please God, let her be alright!_

Rossi heard something break upstairs, and he heard Hotch's scream of anguish. His heart broke for the man. _Let it out, Aaron, just let it out._ Rossi wiped his eyes and called the team. They needed to know what had happened and he wanted them to take care of a few things.

XXX

About an hour later Hotch came down the stairs slowly. Rossi jumped up from the table. "What?"

Hotch went to his brief case. "I know what it means." He searched through and finally found what he was looking for.

"What, what means?"

"The end of Kahlan's message," Hotch told him with a small smile as he pulled the written message out of his pocket. With a shaky hand he turned on Kahlan's iPod.

"My list? It's her list of songs?"

"I think so." Hotch scrolled through to the songs to find the one listed in the message. He found it and took a shaky breath. "Another song she wants me to listen to. I couldn't even listen to the first one she put in a playlist all the way through. Why would she want me to listen to another song?" Hotch asked as he sat down.

"Is it that type of song, or is it a clue?" Rossi sat down beside him and looked at the song she wanted Hotch to hear, 'The Reason' by Hoobastank.

"I don't know. I don't think I know it."

"Then you're going to have to play it and see."

Hotch nodded and touched play. Hotch listened to it for about a minute and a half, and he couldn't stop himself from tearing up again. _She's apologizing? Why does she feel that she needs to apologize? _ He took a ragged breath and massaged his temples. _Because she knows you blame her. I'm sorry for blaming you. I was mad, I didn't mean it. God, Kahlan, I didn't mean to get mad at you! You didn't betray me. You did what you felt you needed to do. _Tears dripped down his face as he listened to the song for a while longer, and Rossi put a supportive hand on Hotch's shoulder. _I understand, Babe._ He smiled sadly._ You're my reason for living, too._ The song finished and Hotch took a ragged breath. "She's telling me she's not going to give up."

"I didn't think she would," Rossi told him through his own tears.

Hotch wiped his face. "I need to get my car." He got up and ran a hand through his hair.

"No you don't."

"I need to go talk to her family, Dave. If something. . ."

"Morgan and Reid already brought them by."

"Then, I'll go get ready. I should go to her mother first."

"It's being handled. JJ's taking care of telling them all." Hotch gave him a confused look. "Hotch, Kahlan became a part of our family when she became part of yours. We all love and miss her, too. You don't have to shoulder all of this alone."

Hotch tilted his head a little as tears escaped the corner of his eyes. "What would I ever do without you?"

Rossi pulled him into a hug. "I hope you never have to find out."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Kahlan woke to the sound of the lock opening on the door, but she didn't move from her position on the floor. "Get up," a man told her.

She turned her head slowly to look at him. There were two other men with him, and they both had guns aimed at her. "Why?"

"Because you were told to," he told him coldly.

_What are they gonna do, shoot me?_ "Nah, I'm good," she told him and went back to looking at the ceiling. She knew Demitri wanted her alive.

"You little bitch!" he said as he stomped into the room.

She waited for him to get closer. As soon as he reached down and grabbed her arm she twisted and threw her legs around his neck. Since he was already leaning down, his head smashed to the floor quickly. She jumped on him and before she could get a chain around his neck she felt a sting in her neck. She reached up and took the dart out and looked at it. "Ouch!" she yelled as she looked at the two men standing in the door way. She couldn't tell which one had shot her. She could feel the drugs working in her system, but she fought against it as she went ahead and tried to choke the man she took down. She pulled with all her might, but she ended up slumping to on top of him.

The two men ran to her and rolled her off their fallen friend, but they were too late, his neck had snapped when he hit the ground. "Nickolas is going to kill us," one man said to the other.

"My ass! Demitri told all of us to stay out of arms reach of her. It's Sam's own fault, not ours," the other guy told him as he unlocked Kahlan's shackles. He then reached down and picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "At least we won't have to deal with her now that her cell's ready."

"I'm gonna go tell Demitri what happened."

**XXXXX**

Rossi woke up in Hotch's guest room. He went out and found Hotch sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. "You get any sleep?" Rossi asked him, but by the look of him, Rossi could guess the answer.

"A little." Hotch took a drink of his coffee as his fingers fidgeted with Kahlan's iPod.

Rossi went to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. Then he went to the table and sat down next to Hotch. "Have you figured out what you're going to tell the kids?"

Hotch huffed as he shook his head. "That some man has their mother, and we are doing everything we can to find her. What else can I tell them?"

"That sounds good."

"I just hope the boys don't pick up on how worried I am."

"You know they will, but they'll understand."

Hotch looked at him and laughed. "You think so?"

"Come on, Hotch. You can't possibly think they will blame you?"

"How can they not blame me? I blame myself!" Hotch yelled and got up from the table.

"Aaron, this is not your fault!"

"Really, Dave? Like you said, we had our chance to catch him, and since we couldn't – since I couldn't – she had to go after him herself. How is that not my fault?"

"Aaron, don't. I know you like shouldering the blame for what every God damned unsub we see does, but this is Mordecai's fault; and no one else's!"

Hotch shook his head as he teared up. "I'm supposed to protect her! That's the way it's supposed to be!"

"Your chivalry is admirable. Really it is, but in this family, chivalry doesn't fly, Aaron."

"I should have done something!"

"Like what, Aaron? What could you have possibly done differently?" Rossi felt he was getting to the root of Hotch's anger, so he had to keep pushing.

"I could have stopped her from leaving!"

"Yeah? I think your cuffs would tell a different story."

"I should have realized what she was doing and stopped that from even happening!"

"She would have just waited for you to leave the house. What is it you're really mad for not doing, Aaron?" Rossi thought he knew the answer but Hotch needed to say it.

"God, Dave!" Tears fell from his eyes. "I should have told her I loved her. I may never see her again, and the last thing I did was yell at her!" Hotch finally admitted to what was eating him alive, and he broke down and dropped to his knees and cried into his hands.

Rossi went to him, knelt, and pulled him into a hug. "She knows how much you love her, Aaron. She knows."

**XXXXX**

Kahlan came awake quickly. "What the hell?" she yelled and jumped up. She realized that someone had thrown ice water on her. The man with the bucket jumped back quickly. "You stupid son of a bitch! You could have just yelled at me to wake me up!" She looked around the room quickly. _Shit! They moved me._

"But that wouldn't be part of your retraining," Demitri told her with an evil grin.

She ran a hand through her wet hair. "What?"

"It starts now," he told her and the door closed. She heard a sound and realized an air conditioner had turned on. _Shit!_ Then the lights went out and left her in total darkness. "I'm not afraid of the dark, asshole!" she screamed; she didn't know if he could hear her or not, but it made her feel better. She flinched when music started blaring. "That's fine, too! I like this song!" she yelled as loud as she could. She felt around in the dark. She knew she had seen a ledge sticking out of the wall to her right. She guessed it was what she was supposed to use for a bed. She sat down on it and started to shiver. She thought about what Demitri had just said and her heart sank. _ No! _She finally knew what 'it' was. _Son of a bitch! _She pulled her legs up in front of her and wrapped her arms around them to try to retain as much body heat as she could. _That's what I get for thinking I could wait!_

**XXXXX**

That afternoon, Hotch came down the stairs and held his hands out to the side. "Do I look presentable enough?"

Rossi smiled. "Yeah. Kahlan's mom will be here any time. She's going to tell Donna, I'll take Joey, and then you can tell the boys." Hotch nodded and took a deep breath. "You should try to eat something."

Hotch shook his head. "I feel like I'm going to get sick now."

"You can't keep going like this, Aaron. You're going to make yourself physically sick."

"I'll eat with the kids later," he told him and walked to the table.

Rossi noticed Hotch shiver, and he was worried that he was already getting sick. _He doesn't need to get sick on top of everything else!_

About fifteen minutes later, Kahlan's mom showed up and within a few minutes Donna pulled up with the kids. Hotch could see their disappointment at not seeing their mother in the driveway with him. Hotch took a deep breath and opened the door to get his daughter out of her booster seat. His heart almost stopped when she fixed him with her version of her father's famous stare.

"Daddy missed his little Angel," he told her with a smile. She didn't say anything and she didn't return his smile. "Joey?" He asked her as he picked her up from out of the car.

She looked around and saw Rossi. She pushed her way out of her father's arms and ran to him. "Poppi!" she jumped into his arms and Hotch's heart broke a little more. Rossi gave him a sad look and took her inside.

Hotch turned to see Wyatt and Jack both looking at him. He swallowed hard. "What did you guys tell her?"

"Nothing. The same as you've told us," Wyatt told him coldly.

"Guys. I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you over the phone. . . "

"Tell us what?" Jack asked frantically. They could both tell it was bad by the way Hotch was acting.

"Take your stuff inside, first," Kahlan's mom told them. They nodded and grabbed their bags out of Donna's car.

"What's going on?" Donna asked them.

Kahlan's mom gave her a weak smile. "We need to talk. Aaron needs to be with the kids, and you need to come to my house."

Donna looked at Hotch and her eyes started to water. "She's not dead!" she walked up to Hotch. "Tell me she's not dead, Aaron!"

Tears escaped him. "I. . . I don't think so," he told her weakly.

"You don't think so?" She turned back to her mother. "My God. What has happened?"

Kahlan's mom put an arm around her shoulder. "Come on. We can talk in the car. Aaron needs to go to the boys."

Donna nodded, looked back to Hotch one more time, and then got in her mother's car. Hotch watched them pull out of the driveway. He wiped his face and headed for the house. Seeing Donna's reaction upset him, and he knew the boys' were going to be even worse.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Demitri was sitting in front of a bank of screens. They all showed a different angel of Kahlan's cell. As he watched her from the night vision camera, he watched as she got up and started doing jumping jacks; he laughed. She was actually singing along to the song that was blaring into her cell. The man beside him also chuckled. "Well at least she's trying to stay warm," the man told him.

"That won't last long, though. Make sure you keep the temperature around 55 degrees. If she can actually fall asleep, don't let her sleep for more than fifty minutes," Demitri told him.

"Ouch, alright, but if you don't want us to go in there, how do you want us to wake her up?"

"With this button right here," Demitri told him pointing at one of the buttons. With the man's puzzling look, he explained. "It drops six gallons of water onto the bed."

The man smiled. "It's a good thing you don't want us going in there. She'll become more and more agitated with each passing hour."

"And eventually she'll be so screwed up that she won't be able to do anything, but knowing, Kay, that will take a few days. She'll be deadly until that happens."

The man raised his brows at him. "You admire her?"

"Her abilities, not her. She's too God damned righteous. If she could have been bought, I would have had her working for me a long time ago."

"Or you would have been working for her," another man said as he came into the room.

"You're probably right, Nick." Demitri told him with a smile. "This way, though, she's working for me."

"You really think this will work. That you'll be able to break her?" Nick asked him, the doubt evident in his voice.

"She might take a little longer than the average person, but yes. She will eventually do everything I tell her to do," Demitri's confidence made the other man smile.

"And you think a few days will break that 'good' in her?" Nick asked him.

"Oh no, I think it will take at least a couple months. It will take a few days to wear her abilities down, not her mind."

"So, in a few days I can have my revenge for Sam?"

"You're not going to kill her, if that's what you have in mind."

"Oh no. I just want to have some fun with her as payback for killing my brother."

"What kind of fun?"

"One that will help you break her," Nick told him with an evil grin.

"What?"

"What's the one thing that can break any woman?"

"As long as you don't damage her permanently, you can all the fun you want. It'll serve her right for always thinking she's better than me."

**XXXXX**

"So where's mom?" Wyatt asked Hotch as he and Jack sat on the couch. Hotch was standing up facing them.

"I don't know," he took a deep breath. "We believe she has been kidnapped."

Wyatt and Jack both shot to their feet. "What?" Jack asked.

"By who? Someone from your job?" Wyatt asked him. Hotch could hear the accusing tone in his voice.

"No. . . well, not exactly, no."

"What does that mean?" Wyatt yelled.

"It's a man from your mother's past," Hotch told them. He wasn't exactly sure what the boys knew of Kahlan's past. He knew Kahlan had never actually came out and told them what she used to do, but he knew they suspected she wasn't just an ordinary stay at home mom.

"You know who it is?" Jack asked him as he teared up.

"Yes, and we will find her," Hotch told them trying to sound confident.

"And yet you're here," Wyatt told him through a scowl. "Why aren't you out there looking?"

"Wyatt, we are looking. I promise you, I will find her."

"Oh, like you promised to keep her safe? You're a liar!" Wyatt yelled as he started to cry.

Hotch's eyes started to sting as they threatened tears yet again. "Wyatt. . ."

"Don't Wyatt me! You said you'd keep her safe. She's not safe! Do you even have any idea where she is?"

"Wyatt, don't talk to dad like that," Jack told him sternly.

"He's not my dad!" he yelled at Jack and then turned to Hotch. "I hate you!" Wyatt yelled at him and ran to the stairs and down to his bedroom.

Hotch felt like he had been kicked in the stomach and he took in a ragged breath.

"Wyatt!" Jack called and went to go after him.

"Let him be, Jack." Hotch told him through tears.

Jack turned to his father, tears were falling down his cheeks. "Wyatt didn't mean that. He's just mad. . ."

Hotch pulled him into a hug. "I know, It's ok." Hotch told him, but he wasn't sure he believed it or not.

"Dad," Jack started. Hotch let him go so he could look at him. "You will be able to find her, right?"

The look in Jack's eyes broke Hotch's heart even further. He saw doubt. Hotch took another ragged breath. "I will never stop looking."

Jack buried his face in Hotch's stomach and cried. He hadn't answered his question the way he wanted. "I don't want to lose another mom."

Hotch's sobs grew stronger for his son. He knew Jack didn't remember everything about Haley, but he still knew he had lost his mother to a mad man. "I know, Jack. I know."

XXX

"What's wrong with my Bella?" Rossi asked as he sat Joey down on the picnic table in the back yard.

"Me mad at Daddy," she told him with a look that reminded Rossi of Hotch.

He had to stop the smile from forming on his face. "Why?"

"Cause he lost Mommy."

"Oh, sweet heart, no he didn't."

"She's not here. He lost her."

"No Bella, a bad man took mommy. Daddy's trying to find her," Rossi told her with a small smile.

"A bad man?" she asked as she teared up.

"Yep. Poppi and all your aunts and uncles are helping Daddy and we're trying really hard to find her, so when can bring her home to you," Rossi told her as he pulled her into a hug.

"Daddy's sad?" She asked as she pulled away from him.

"Yeah. He misses Mommy."

"I miss Mommy, too." She told him and jumped off the table with ease. Rossi marveled at her agility for such a young age. She headed to the back door.

Rossi jumped up to stop her; he wasn't sure if Hotch was done with the boys, yet. One look through the glass door, though, and Rossi knew it was over. Joey opened the door, walked up to Hotch and Jack and put her hands around their legs in a hug.

Hotch let go of Jack and reached down and picked her up. He swallowed them both in another hug as he continued to cry. They cried with him.

Rossi headed for the basement steps; apparently Wyatt had not taken the news well. Rossi sighed heavily as he knocked on Wyatt's door, but he figured from how loud the music was playing, that Wyatt probably couldn't hear it. After a second, though, the door opened to reveal a crying Wyatt. Rossi's heart broke at the sight. Wyatt's lip trembled and he walked back into his room. Rossi followed him and shut the door behind him. He walked over and shut off the music. "Wyatt."

"I lost her for three years already, Uncle Dave. I can't lose her again!" He yelled and Rossi knew he was angry.

"I know. We're trying to. . ." Rossi started as he tried to pull him into a hug.

"No! You're not! You're just standing here," Wyatt yelled as he shoved Rossi back away from him.

His strength actually surprised Rossi, but he tried to go back to him. "Wyatt, we. . ."

"No!" Wyatt yelled again and swung at Rossi. Rossi was ready for it, though, and dodged the fist and pulled Wyatt to him forcibly. Wyatt unleashed his anger onto Rossi in a flurry of fists aimed at Rossi's chest.

Rossi pulled him into a tight hug, and Wyatt finally broke down and slumped against Rossi's chest. He hugged him tightly. "It's ok. It's ok," Rossi told him over and over again as he rubbed circles on his back.

After a moment, Wyatt pulled away from him. "No, Uncle Dave. It's not ok."

"I know. It sucks, but we are trying everything we can. We're all working on this, Wyatt."

"I know." Wyatt took a shuddering breath. "You all found me, I know you'll find mom." He turned away from him. "But I yelled at him. I told him. . ." he broke down crying again.

Rossi went and pulled him into another hug. "He knows your upset. He understands."

"But I told him he wasn't my dad. He's the only dad I've ever known. How can he ever forgive me for that?"

"Wyatt. . ."

"I told him I hate him. I don't hate him, Uncle Dave!"

"He knows that, Wyatt." He held him out at arm's length to look him in the eyes. "But if you're worried. Go tell him."

Wyatt nodded and ran up the stairs. Hotch was still holding Jack and Joey. "Dad?" Wyatt asked shakily.

Hotch looked up. He opened his arms and invited him into the hug. Wyatt ran to them, and they all held onto each other.

Rossi walked up the stairs and stood there looking at the family and he could feel their pain. His anger for Demitri rose. _How dare you put my family through this! If Kahlan doesn't kill you, I will!_

**XXXXX**

Kahlan sat down heavily on the ledge. She had gotten herself a little warmer, but her throat was dry and she wanted a drink. Her stomach growled and it reminded her that she hadn't eaten in over a day. _If he wants me alive, he has to feed me eventually_. Whatever heat she had managed to produce was evaporating quickly. She started shivering again. She knew hyperthermia would start setting in, and she knew what it would do to her once it got past the point of being mild. She had to think now while she could. She took the little piece of metal that she had used as a pick and turned around to face the wall. She etched several names on it with the metal. Not being able to see it, she wasn't sure how neat she had written it, but she was sure she'd be able to read it once they turned the lights back on. _If they turn the lights back on._ Once she was finished with that, she balled herself up as tight as she could get and rested her head on her knees. She drifted off to sleep thinking about her family.

**XXXXX**

Joey pushed her way out of the family hug first. "Me hungy. Poppi fix noodles?" She asked Hotch.

Hotch smiled at her and looked at Rossi. Rossi nodded. "Yep. You want Wyatt and Jack to make their meatballs?"

"Ohhhh, yeah!" she told him with a smile at her brothers.

Hotch put her down and she ran to follow Rossi into the kitchen. Jack gave Hotch one more look and let the other two be alone.

Wyatt's eyes started to tear up again. "Dad, I'm so sorry. I. . ."

"Don't Wyatt. I understand. I blame myself even more than you do," Hotch told him as he sank down onto the couch.

"What? You're not to blame! I know mom was probably too stubborn to listen to you guys, but if some guy has her, it's his fault and not anyone else's!"

Hotch smiled at the intelligent boy. "Stubborn? Your mom? Nahhhh."

Wyatt smiled and sat down beside him. "I really am sorry for saying those things. I have never thought them before. I don't know where they came from."

Hotch put his arm around him. "We all say things we don't mean when were mad, Wyatt, and it's alright to be mad about this."

"But I just need to make sure I'm mad at the right person."

Hotch nodded again. "I think you got your mother's temper."

"I've only seen mom mad a few times my whole life."

"Yeah, but when she's mad. . ."

"Everyone has to watch out because she goes from zero to sixty faster than Dominic Toretto's new car."

"Yep," Hotch told him even though he had no idea what his son was talking about.

Wyatt studied him a moment. "You don't know who Toretto is, do you?"

"Not the slightest."

Wyatt laughed. "Fast and Furious?" With the look on Hotch's face, he shook his head and went to the kitchen to help make dinner.

Hotch sighed deeply. The day's experience ranked up in the top five worst moments in his life. He prayed that he'd find Kahlan and that she'd be alright, because he knew he would never be able to survive having to tell the kids any other bad news. _Please God! Please, let me find her and soon!_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Kahlan was dreaming about spending the day in the park with her family. She smiled as her husband put his arm around her waist and they watched as Joey snuck up on Jack and tripped him and took the soccer ball from him and ran. Suddenly Kahlan was ripped from her wonderful dream as water crashed down on top of her. She jumped up, coughing and sputtering. She looked around expecting to find an idiot with a bucket, but the darkness told her that the door to her cell had not been opened. She wiped the water off her face and winced at the music still blaring that was really starting to give her a splitting headache. _Well, at least I got a drink_, she thought sarcastically. She looked at the ceiling that she couldn't actually see. _The son of a bitch is crafty, huh? I'll show him crafty!_ She took off her soaking wet shirt and laid it on the floor as far away from the bed as she could. Being cold was bad enough, but being cold and wet was miserable. She sighed because she knew that was the purpose. She kicked herself mentally for not trying to escape while she was in the other room. She wasn't sure she'd be able to escape this room, especially with what they were already doing to her.

_Oh, Aaron. I'm so sorry! I should have tried harder. I should have. . ._ She shook her head. _If I can't escape you have to find me, Aaron._ A tear escaped her eye as she knew Hotch had no way of knowing where she was. _ Stop it! He's the best! He and his team will find me!_ She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She wouldn't give up yet. She smiled as she crawled under the bed. _It may have worked once, dumb ass, but you do not have some idiot in here._ She shivered as she wrapped her arms around herself. The floor was cold, but at least she wouldn't get drenched again.

**XXXXX**

Once Hotch and Rossi had tucked Joey in and made sure all of the kids were asleep, Hotch sat down on the couch and Rossi sat in the chair opposite him. "What are you thinking about?"

Hotch sighed deeply. "How are we going to find her when we have no idea where to look? I told the kids I would find her, but I honestly don't know how I'm going to do that."

Hotch's defeated tone scared Rossi. He watched him for a minute and Hotch shivered. "We will keep looking for leads, and we will follow every lead until we find her. Just like always."

"But like every other tough case, when we run out of leads we have to wait for another body." Hotch swallowed hard. "If he has her, then we won't be finding any more bodies from her, and that only leaves. . ."

"Stop. Don't even think it, Aaron."

"How can I not? If he has her, he can do what he wants to her and eventually he'll get bored and. . ."

"Aaron! Just stop! Jesus Christ! If you give up on her now, we might as well stop looking. Hell, you want me to call the funeral home so you can pick out another casket? How about the florist, you want roses this time, too?" Hotch look of terror broke Rossi's heart. He hated being the devil's advocate, but with Hotch, that was sometimes the only way to make him start thinking straight again.

"Damn, Dave. I didn't say I thought she was already dead."

"That's right, you didn't. And until you have proof that she is, you have to assume she's alive and we have to keep looking for her!"

Hotch took a deep breath and nodded. He stood up and squared his shoulders. "And I'll start again first thing in the morning."

Rossi smiled at him as he stood up, too. "Of course we will."

"Thanks, Dave, again." Hotch told him sincerely.

"Try to get some sleep, Aaron."

Hotch nodded and went to his bedroom. He didn't think it would do the kids any good to see him sleeping on the couch. He rubbed his arms vigorously and he shivered again. _Damn it's cold in here._ He walked over to the thermostat and turned the air conditioner up. With a sigh he climbed into bed and closed his eyes. _ Please God, we need a lead._

Hotch woke up suddenly as he felt the covers move. He smiled as Joey climbed up next to him and snuggled against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she was back asleep in moments. He leaned his head on top of hers and fell back to sleep thinking about how his daughter was so much like his wife.

**XXXXX**

"Now what am I supposed to do?" A man wondered as soon as he realized Kahlan was not coming out from under the bed.

"You better go ask Dee. He said he didn't want her sleeping longer than fifty minutes."

"I'm not waking him up. He'll be pissed."

"He'll be pissed when he finds out she's figure a way out of getting drenched."

"Well, at least he'll be rested and pissed, not groggy and pissed. I'll tell him in the morning."

"I'd like to know how she can sleep with that damn music so loud."

**XXXXX**

Hotch sat with the kids at the table while they were eating cereal. They knew he had to go to work and they were all silently hoping that he would find a clue to Kahlan's whereabouts. The doorbell rang and Rossi jumped up to get it. Hotch wondered who it was so he followed Rossi. He smiled when Jessica walked in. She quickly walked up to him and embraced him. "Don't worry about the kids. I've spoken to Kahlan's sisters and mother, and we have made a schedule so that that one of will be here every day until this is solved," she told him with a smile.

"Thank you, Jess. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Yeah I do. We're still family, Aaron, and you know I claim at all of your kids as my niece and nephews."

He nodded and she left him to go to the kids. Hotch looked at Rossi. "Is this your doing, too?"

"I told you. We're all family," he said simply and went back to the kitchen.

Hotch smiled and followed him.

Once Hotch and Rossi were ready they headed to the BAU. Hotch was hoping they didn't have a case waiting. As soon as he sat down in his office, his phone went off. "Hey, Chuck."

"You need to take a break."

"I just got here."

"Then take the morning off."

Hotch stood up. "You have something?" He asked him excitedly.

"Not something, somebody, and I think you might want to be here when I talk to him."

"Why don't you bring him here?"

"Because no one is going to be reading this man his rights. If you can't handle that, then I'll just let you know what I find out when I'm done."

Hotch took a deep breath. He could just imagine what kind of persuasive techniques Chuck knew. _Damn it, this is for Kahlan, though!_ "I'll be there." Hotch was grabbing his keys and heading to Rossi office. "Where?"

"I'll send you the address."

Hotch ended the call when he reached Rossi's door. "You want to go for a ride?"

Rossi saw the keys in his hand and stood up. "Of course."

Morgan joined them on the cat walk. "What's up?"

Hotch wasn't sure he wanted them to know about what was probably going to happen. "Can you hold down the fort for a couple hours? Chuck has someone I want to talk to."

Morgan eyed him suspiciously, and smiled slyly. "No problem." Hotch nodded and headed to the elevator. Morgan grabbed Rossi's arm. "Keep an eye on him," he told him nodding to Hotch.

Rossi smiled. "Always."

**XXXXX**

As soon as the music stopped, Kahlan woke up. _Either they shut it off, or I am now deaf._ She stayed where she was and waited to see what would happen next. The lights came back on and she had to shield her eyes with her hand. _Damn, were they always that bright?_ She noticed she wasn't shivering anymore and she knew she was falling into hypothermia. She started to recite Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' in her head. She knew she had to keep her brain thinking or she would lapse into confusion.

The door to her cell opened. She opened one eye a slit and noticed for the first time a door of bars that still blocked the opening. "Get out of there," a burly man told her.

"Why don't you come in her and make me?" She knew it sounded juvenile, but she didn't care at that point.

"I could just dart you."

"And that would let me sleep even longer. . . cool."

The man sighed and looked down the hall. Demitri walked up to the bars. She glanced at him but shut her eyes again. He smiled. He knew she was smart, but it had never crossed his mind that she would outwit the water by sleeping on the floor. "If you want to eat, you'll get up and come here."

Her stomach growled. She drummed her fingers on shoulder as she weighed the pros and cons of refusing to eat. _No, I have to hold on for Aaron to find me._ She sighed heavily and rolled out from under the ledge. She got up stiffly and walked to her dry shirt and but it back on. It did little to give her warmth. She stared at Demitri. "What do you want me to do?"

He threw a pair of handcuffs to her. "Cuff one to the wall hook by the ledge and the other to your right wrist."

She looked back at the wall by the bed. There was a round eye-hook sticking out of the wall about two inches off the bed. She looked back at him. "You really want me to keep getting wet, huh?" He just stood there. "Does your connection to water stem back to wetting the bed?" She asked him with a smile. One of the men next to him chuckled, but stopped when Demitri looked at him.

"Do it, or he'll dart you and you'll wake up with both hands cuffed."

"Damn, Demitri, loosen up a little. Are you drinking too much caffeine?" She walked to the cuffs and picked them up. She snapped one on her wrist and went and sat on the bed. With a smirk she hooked the cuff to the wall. "It's safe to come in now." As soon as she said it, the ceiling opened and water drenched her. "God damn it!" she yelled as wiped her hair out of her face. "Didn't you get to watch enough wet t-shirt contests when you were college?"

The man with the gun opened the door made of bars and stepped in with his gun aimed at her. She thought about scaring him into darting her. _At least unconscious, I wouldn't be cold._ Another man followed him into the cell and sat a tray of food and a bottle of water down on the floor. Her stomach growled again and she decided to behave and actually eat. "No chance of soup or something warm, huh?"

Both men quickly left the cell and both of the doors were shut. She quickly put her foot out to mark where the tray was encase they turned off the lights again. She waited for a minute and when nothing happened she slid the tray closer so she could pick it up. It wasn't much, but it would be enough to keep her alive. Suddenly half of the lights went out and the others turned into strobe lights. "Cool, I use these a Halloween all the time!" She yelled, but winced as soon as the music started again. _ Damn it!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Hotch pulled up to the nondescript building that matched the address that Chuck sent him. He took a deep breath as he got out. Rossi came up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You sure you want to witness this? I can handle it."

Hotch shook his head. "I'll be fine."

Rossi eyed him warily. He knew Hotch was about as straight laced as they came, but his worry over his wife was apparently stronger than his moral compass at the time. Rossi was worried that what they were about to witness might be more than Hotch could handle. He resolved to make sure Hotch didn't see anything too over the top, and he knew Chuck would listen to him if the need arose to remove Hotch from the situation. He took a deep breath and headed to the door.

A man with an assault rifle answered the door and moved out of the way to allow the agents to enter. Apparently Chuck had a few of his bubbies with him, and they knew who they were. Chuck met them in the entry way and had them follow him down a long hallway. He stopped at a door, opened it, let Hotch and Rossi go in first, and turned to shut the door. Hotch looked at the man sitting in a chair in the center of the room. His hands were zipped tied in front of him. The man was untouched from what Hotch could see, but he knew that wouldn't last long. "What's he got to do with this?" Hotch asked him as he studied the man.

"Ok, he's probably a cop," the man said pointing to Rossi. Rossi looked hurt. "And he's a fed," he continued as he pointed at Hotch. "So what does that make you?" He asked Chuck.

"Your worst fucking nightmare!" Chuck told him coldly.

"You can't do anything to me! I have rights!" The man said defiantly.

"Do you hear anyone read him his rights?" Chuck asked Hotch and Rossi with a smile.

"I didn't hear anything," Rossi told him.

The man looked at them; the worry very evident on his face. Hotch just stood and stared at him with his arms across his chest. The man kept looking between the three men. He wasn't sure which one scared him the most, the two who were smiling or the one giving him a stare that was making it hard for him to breath. Chuck got his attention as he pulled out a knife and walked up to him. "Let's start with something simple. What's your name?"

The man swallowed hard as he looked at the knife. He looked back at Hotch and Rossi. "You can't let him do this!"

"We have no control over him. You might as well just answer his questions; it'll go much easier if you do," Rossi told him seriously.

The man licked his lips and looked at the knife again. One more look at Hotch, who was being far too silent for him to be comfortable around, and he swallowed hard. "Mitch Colton."

"Good job, Mitch," Chuck told him with a smile. "How do you know Demitri Mordecai?"

The shocked look on his face told them all he wasn't expecting them to know about that. He shook his head. "That son of a bitch is crazy! I'm not telling you shit!"

Chuck shot Rossi a disappointing look, but turned back to Mitch. "You think he's crazy? You haven't had the chance to work with me, yet." Chuck reached up and ripped the man's shirt open to expose his skin. Chuck trailed the knife down his chest, barely touching his skin. A few trickles of blood escaped where the sharp blade had come too close. Mitch was starting to sweat. "See, a really sharp knife doesn't even hurt as it slices the skin at first." Chuck reached into his pocket and withdrew his hand. Hotch saw the salt in his hand, and he almost winced. "But the wounds are there, even if you don't realize it at first." Chuck took the handful of salt and rubbed it on Mitch's chest. As the salt entered the new wounds, Mitch screamed. "See?" Rossi stole a look at Hotch, but Hotch stood strong. "I'll ask you again. How do you know Mordecai?"

Mitch took several deep breaths and looked at Hotch and Rossi again. He looked back at Chuck who was holding the knife a little too close to his face. "He hired me while he was here in Baltimore."

_Was here? Shit! He's gone?_ Hotch wanted to jump in and ask his own questions, but he stopped himself and let Chuck handle things.

"What did he hire you to do?"

"To watch out for some woman and to capture her if she showed up."

Hotch felt his breathing quicken, but his stoic demeanor revealed nothing.

"And this woman, did she have a name?"

"He called her Kay, but all we had was a picture."

"What did she look like?"

"Black hair, blue eyes, a real looker if you know what I mean."

Rossi saw Hotch tense ever so slightly.

"And you helped capture her?"

He shook his head. "Not me personally, but I was there when it happened."

"Tell me about it." Chuck shot Rossi a look that told Rossi to keep an eye on Hotch.

Rossi understood and took a step closer to Hotch. Hotch didn't notice; he was too fixated on Mitch.

"That woman was one crazy. . ."

"What?"

"That bitch was psycho!"

Rossi saw Hotch's left hand ball into a fist, and before Rossi could stop him, he had advanced on Mitch, pushed Chuck out of the way, and slammed his fist into Mitch's face so hard that it knocked him and the chair over.

"Christ, Hotch! You could have just said you wanted to do that. You didn't have to push me to the floor," Chuck told him with a smile as he got up from where he had fallen.

Hotch stood there his nostrils flaring as he tried to get a handle on his rage.

"My nose. You broke my fucking nose!" Mitch started yelling and Chuck went and picked him and the chair up. Mitch's face was covered with blood.

"I suggest you watch your mouth for now on!" Chuck told him with a smile and a quick glance at Hotch. "Now, you were telling me what happened when the woman showed up."

Mitch nodded quickly. "She'd killed two men by the time we found her. She had knife to Russ, and Dee told her not to do it, but she just smiled at Dee and still killed Russ." He took a deep breath. "And then Dee had Paul shoot her." Hotch stepped toward him. "With some sort of tranquilizer. With a tranquilizer!" He quickly added and Hotch stopped.

"And what happened after that?" Chuck asked him.

"Dee had her loaded into a van and they split."

"Split?"

"Yeah. He paid us and left."

"Do you know where he went?"

"No."

Chuck ran his knife down Mitch's forearm. "Are you sure?"

Mitch whimpered as he watched his blood run down the side of his arm. "Yes, but it seemed like he was going on long trip with what he had packed in the van," Mitch told him quickly.

"You had to have heard something of the plan," Chuck told him as he reached for more salt.

Mitch swallowed hard. "I think. . . I think one of the drivers mentioned stopping in Ohio."

Chuck threw the salt on the ground, got up, and walked to the other side of the room. Hotch and Rossi joined him. Chuck looked at them. "You think his telling the truth?"

Hotch looked back at the bleeding man and nodded.

"I think so. What the hell is he doing in Ohio?" Rossi asked him.

"I don't know. Sorry. I was really hoping we'd get something decent out of him," Chuck told them as he shook his head.

"At least we can concentrate our efforts away from Baltimore and start looking west," Hotch told him.

"I didn't think you were capable of doing that," Chuck told him with a smile.

"Sorry, I kind of lost my cool for a minute," Hotch told him with a shameful look.

"Hell, I wanted to hit him. Nice shot by the way."

Hotch shook his head at Chuck's smile. "So now what?"

"I'll let the police have him; he has several warrants, but I'll keep looking around Baltimore for another day or so and see if we can corroborate his story."

Hotch nodded. "Thanks, Chuck."

"No problem. I'll call you if I find anything."

Rossi patted him on the shoulder and followed Hotch to the door. Once they were outside again he looked at Hotch. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Hotch told him as he got in the SUV. He gave Rossi a small smile. "It kind of felt good to actually be doing something."

"I bet. I wish I could have punched him, too." Rossi told him with a smile.

**XXXXX**

Demitri and a man watched Kahlan as she sat on the bed. She was bouncing her legs rapidly. "I thought you said she wouldn't start shivering again," the man told him.

"She's not. She's doing that on purpose to try to warm herself up. See, now she's doing it to her arms."

"Will it work?"

"Not for very long. If she'd just give up to it, it would be so much easier on her."

"She doesn't seem like the type to give up."

"No she isn't, and that's what makes this so much fun," Demitri told him with a smile.

"What are the strobes for?"

"Tony, Tony, Tony," Demitri said as he shook his head slowly. "You have so much to learn. They disrupt the thought process."

"They don't seem to be bothering her any more than the music."

"They will, just give them time."

**XXXXX**

Garcia met Hotch and Rossi at the glass doors. "I'm sorry, sir, but we got a case."

Rossi could see the disappointment in his face. "You could stay home."

"Let me see what it is first," Hotch told him and led the way to the conference room. The rest of the team was already in there waiting for them.

Garcia presented the case; police in California wanted help in finding two little boys that had gone missing the night before. Hotch knew time was of the essence in a case like that, but he didn't like the idea of going so far away. They all looked at him and he knew they were waiting to see if he would be joining them. "Kahlan wouldn't want me to step out on a case dealing with kids. Besides, with Blake still on medical leave we're already one man down. Wheels up in twenty," he told them and then went to his office.

Rossi nodded and they all were happy that Hotch would be joining him. Rossi took out his phone to let Chuck know what they were doing. Then he stopped Garcia to give her an update on where they thought Demitri might be headed. She promised to search under every rock in Ohio. "Thanks, Kitten. Hotch could really use some good news."

"And fast, I imagine. I will do my best," she told him with a smile and headed for her lair.

Hotch called Jessica to let her know they were leaving and she promised that the kids would be fine. He told her he would call them that night as soon as he got a chance.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan woke up with a start. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. She looked at the ceiling; apparently she hadn't been asleep long enough to warrant the water. She sighed heavily as she tried to stretch her aching muscles. She knew the cold was getting to her body and it frightened her a little to think that she wouldn't be able to protect herself if it came down to it. She was getting too stiff and sore, and with being cuffed to the wall she couldn't get up and exercise enough to get her muscles working again. She thought about picking the lock on the cuffs, but she knew they were watching her, and she was afraid to find out what they would do to her next. Her body jerked and she moaned. _ At least shivering didn't hurt!_ She leaned her head back against the wall trying to decide what to do, and she drifted off to sleep again.

**XXXXX**

Hotch leaned back in his seat. It was a long flight to California, and he hoped to get a little rest on the way. He shivered and grabbed his suit jacket and covered himself up with it. Rossi watched him with concern. He got up from his seat and went over and sat beside Hotch. "What's wrong?"

Hotch looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"It's like 97 degrees outside. Why are you covering up?"

"I don't know. I'm cold."

Rossi put his hand on Hotch's forehead and then on his cheek. "You don't feel like you have a temperature. Are you getting sick?"

"I don't know. I just have this deep aching cold in my bones. It's weird, but I'm fine."

"Yeah. You're always fine, Aaron," Rossi told him with a look that told him he didn't believe him. Hotch shook his head and shut his eyes. "Try to get some sleep," Rossi told him as he patted him on the leg. He got up and went back to his original seat.

"What's wrong with him?" JJ asked with concern.

"I don't know. He says he's cold," Rossi told her as he continued to watch Hotch.

"Cold? It's like seventy degrees in here," Reid pointed out.

"Could it be some form of shock?" Morgan asked them as he turned around to look at Hotch.

Rossi wasn't sure how, but he figured that wherever Kahlan was, she was cold, and Hotch was picking up on it. "I don't know, but we need to keep an eye on him."

They all nodded their agreement.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Rossi watched as Hotch tossed and turned in his seat. He knew Hotch was having a nightmare and as soon as he got up to go wake him up, Hotch awoke with a start. He looked around the cabin quickly as if he didn't realize where he was. "Hey," Rossi said quietly as he sat down next to him.

Hotch focused on him and his breathing started to go back to normal. "Hey."

"You want to talk about it?"

Hotch rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up straighter. He shook his head. "I don't know what's worse. Not being able to sleep or falling asleep and having dreams."

"Dreams? Look like a nightmare from my seat."

Hotch took a deep breath. "Yes. A nightmare. She was right there, but I couldn't get to her." He shook his head again. "We've got to find her soon, Dave."

"I know, Aaron. I know." Rossi told him as he patted Hotch on the leg.

**XXXXX**

Nick was with Tony in the surveillance room watching Kahlan. He reached up and pushed the button to drop water on her.

"What are you doing? Dee said not until she's been asleep for fifty minutes."

"Chill." Nick told him and laughed as he watched Kahlan wake up and cuss at the ceiling. "She deserves it."

Tony shook his head. He was starting to feel sorry for the strong willed woman. _Dee's gonna kick your ass if you screw things up._

"She'll be ready for me soon," Nick said with an evil grin.

Tony didn't say anything; he just gave Nick a sideways glance.

XXX

"I'm gonna kill you, Demitri! The next chance I get, I'm gonna kill you." Kahlan wiped the water out of her face and ran a hand through her hair. She reached in her pocket where the little piece of metal was hidden, but realized her fingers were too cold to feel it. With her anger burning, she laid on her side close to the wall and put her hands under her arms to warm them up as much as possible. Not being to shield her eyes, though, let the strobe effect bother her even though her eyes were closed. _And I'm going to break those fucking lights! I'd rather have it dark than have those damn lights!_ She tried to focus her thoughts on home and her kids, but it was like she couldn't keep her train of thought going, and she knew she was in trouble. She allowed her thoughts to go to her childhood, her strongest memories, and she settled a little. Those memories were still fluid and flowing. She smiled as she thought about a hunting trip she had taken with her dad. Sitting at the base of a tree and watching the woods for deer may have seemed boring to most girls, but not her. She loved spending time with her dad, and being the youngest of four girls, she was as close to a son as he was going to get. He didn't seem to mind, though. She felt a twinge in her chest at the loss of one of the greatest men she'd ever known.

**XXXXX**

As soon as they landed and got to the police station, Hotch got a text from Chuck. He had found the building where Mitch had witnessed Kahlan being taken. Two dead bodies confirmed the story, but nothing new had been found. Hotch thanked him and put his phone away. He didn't have time to focus on the implications of not knowing where Kahlan was for long, though, as he quickly focused himself on the case of the missing boys.

**XXXXX**

Nick dropped water on Kahlan again. She hadn't even feel asleep, but she realized that she had been so still that they probably thought she was asleep. She just let the water run off of her because she was tired of giving them a reaction.

XXX

"You think she's passed out or something?" Tony asked Michael, the only other man in the room with him.

"I don't know. Think we should go check on her?"

"I ain't going in there. She's still breathing. I say we leave it alone."

Michael smiled. "Sounds good to me."

XXX

Kahlan let her fingers dance around, and she figured they were warm enough so she took out the little piece of metal and tried to get into the right shape to pick the lock on the cuffs. She made sure her body shielded what she was doing and after a few attempts she had her wrist free. She smiled as she glanced up at the lights. _Should I break them now, or should I try to surprise the next person that is stupid enough to come in here?_ Her fingers drummed against her chest. _Decisions, decisions, decisions. _Since they had taken her watch when they moved her, she had no idea if it was day or night, and she wasn't even sure it made a difference as far as anyone guarding her. _Fuck it. The lights have to go!_ She used the pick to unhook the cuff from the wall. Her legs started shaking to try to get the muscles ready because she knew she'd have to jump to reach the lights, but she didn't think it would be too hard to take out all three lights before anyone could respond. After about five minutes, she quickly jumped up and had the first light broke within seconds.

XXX

"Son of a bitch!" Tony yelled as he watched Kahlan jump up, swing the handcuffs up, and break the light above her head. Michael grabbed the dart gun and they both took off running down the hall. By the time they got the solid door open to her cell all of the lights were broke and the cell was in complete darkness. _Shit! Dee is going to kill us,_ Michael thought as he looked into the cell. The little bit of light from the hallway did nothing to illuminate the little room. They couldn't see Kahlan, who was hiding next to the wall beside the door. "Go hit the other lights," Michael told Tony.

Tony nodded and ran back to the surveillance room.

Michael waited for the lights to be turned on before approaching the bars.

_Come on, just open the damn door,_ Kahlan thought as she tried to keep her breathing steady. The two remaining lights came on. _Shit! _She knew she couldn't get to the other lights without leaving her protected spot.

Tony came running back down the hall. He swung the solid door shut. "She right next to the door. You'd never get in there," he told Michael as he locked the door.

"So we're just going to let her roam free in there?"

"Are you going to go in there and try to cuff her again? How the hell did she get them off?"

"I don't know, but we better go call Dee."

Tony nodded. "I guess we have to now." They both walked back to the surveillance room.

"Shit!" Kahlan cussed once she realized no one was going to be coming in. _Fine! I'll just use this time to really screw up your day. Or night, whatever!_ She went over to the bed and climbed up on it. She looked at the part of the ceiling that opened to let the water out. She used one end of the cuffs to pry open the access panel next to it to reveal the electrical wiring to it. _Dumbasses! Who would design a cell and leave the access panels on the inside! _She reached up and started yanking wires out of it. The light closest to her went out and she laughed. She started toughing all of the different wires together. The deafening music stopped and her ears actually throbbed with the new silence.

XXX

"Jesus Christ! What's she doing now?" Tony yelled as soon as he realized Kahlan was messing with the ceiling.

"Should we stop her?"

"You could go open the outer door and try to dart her."

Michael nodded and ran back down the hall with the gun.

XXX

Once two of the wires touched, the ceiling opened and Kahlan got drenched again. "Son of a bitch!" She quickly tried a different combination and the motor running the ceiling opening sped up. Even once it was closed the motor still struggled. Kahlan heard someone unlocking the door. _Shit! Not yet! Just a few more seconds!_ The motor coughed and sputtered as soon as she heard the door opening. Sparks flew from the ceiling and the lights exploded due to the surge. She was in complete darkness again. She jumped down just as a dart flew past her face. _That could have hurt!_

"Shit!" Michael yelled once he could no longer see into the cell. For a split second he thought about going in and trying to find her, but the vision of Sam's snapped neck made him think better of it, and he quickly shut the outer door and locked it.

"Chicken!" Kahlan yelled as she smiled. Not only had she gotten rid of the lights and the music, but she killed the motor to the water, too. _Not bad for being half frozen!_ She sighed heavily and sat on the floor next to the door. She wasn't sure what kind of punishment she'd receive for what she had done, but the satisfaction she felt at the time made it worth it. _He will rue the day he decided to take me prisoner!_

**XXXXX**

By that evening they had a profile, but they were running out of leads to try and narrow down an unsub. Hotch's frustration at not finding the boys was being compounded with his frustration over not finding Kahlan, and by the time he got to his hotel room, he felt like he wanted to explode.

There was a knock on his door and he opened it to find Rossi holding a bottle of scotch. "We're in the middle of a case, Dave," Hotch told him as Rossi came into his room.

"And a couple of drinks tonight isn't going to stop you from doing your job tomorrow," Rossi told him with a smile.

"Ah, hell, why not?"

**XXXXX**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"This is your fault!" Demitri yelled as he looked at Nick. He had watched the recorded tape of Kahlan's cell to see exactly what had happened since he had left for the night.

"How is it my fault? I left before any of that started!" Nick defended himself.

"Because you didn't follow through on my orders! If you hadn't have been screwing around, she wouldn't have gotten angry. Once she was angry, she was able to get past the point of being too cold and confused! Damn it! There was a reason behind what I was doing!"

"I'm sorry. I just thought. . ."

"No, Nick, you didn't think!" Demitri ran a hand through his hair. He turned to Tony. "Go get one of the gas containers." Tony nodded and walked out of the room.

"You gonna knock her out?"

"I'm going to have to. Your little stunt has made it to where I have to take the hard road to get her where I want her to be. Even if I had another cell ready, it would take twice as long to get her back to where she was."

"What does that entail?"

"More your type of fun. It will be harder, but the results should be the same." Tony came back carrying a canister. "Go put the hose under the door of her cell. I'll watch the monitors and let you know when she's out." Tony nodded again and went to Kahlan's cell.

Through the infrared camera, Demitri could see Kahlan standing in the center of her cell. She was stretching and exercising, apparently getting ready for whatever they were going to try to throw at her. "It's pumping," came Tony's voice over the radio. It was a good thing the gas was odorless because he knew Kahlan would have figured out a way to stop it from getting into her cell. He watched as she coughed a couple times. Her head snapped toward the door, and he knew she had figured out what was happening, but by the time she started for the door she dropped to her knees. The gas was too strong, and within another minute she was out.

"She's down, but give it two more minutes, then stop the gas. I'll be down there shortly," Demitri told Tony over the radio.

"Alright," Tony answered.

**XXXXX**

Hotch woke up to find Rossi asleep in the other bed in the room. He looked at his watch, 5:48. He sighed as he got up and went to the restroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. His blood shot eyes and dark circles under them would tell everyone that he hadn't slept well. He shivered. _Why am I so damned cold?_ He turned on the shower and went to go get his clothes. He climbed in and let the hot water run over his tense and sore body. Not sleeping was taking a physical toll on him. He just stood there thinking about Kahlan. _If you're able to, Babe, you need to send us a clue as to where you are. _After about ten minutes he got out and got dressed. He stepped out of the bathroom and saw Rossi awake and drinking a cup of coffee. "Hey."

"Moring. You get any sleep?" Rossi asked him as he handed him a cup of coffee.

"Not much. I don't think I've ever gone this long without sleeping well. Something has got to give," he told him as he sat down in the other chair.

Rossi noticed that Hotch hadn't shaved. Hotch never went without shaving, and Rossi worried that his friend was starting a downward spiral. "Maybe you should take some time off."

Hotch shook his head. "No. Being home and not being able to focus on something else would be worse."

"But if you don't watch it you're going to get sick or something. Maybe you should be home with the kids."

"And they would all want to know why I wasn't out looking for her. I can't admit to them that I have no idea where she is."

"Well, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be in any shape to go find her even once we know where to look."

"I'm trying, Dave. I really am, but I can't make myself sleep or not have nightmares when I do. Believe me, if I could, I would."

Rossi's heart broke a little at Hotch's tone. "Maybe you should talk to someone. Maybe they could give you something to help you sleep."

"I am talking to someone; you, and I don't need any damn pills!" Hotch told him as he got up disgusted.

Rossi shook his head. "Aaron," Rossi started and waited for Hotch to turn back to him. "Aaron!" Rossi said a little more forcibly. Hotch finally turned, and Rossi could see the anger in his eyes. "I'm not saying that you can't handle things on your own, I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with getting a little help. If taking a damn pill at night will help you feel better in the morning, than what's wrong with that?"

Hotch lost his anger and actually teared up. "But that shit puts me too far under. What if something happens and I can't wake up in time?"

Rossi understood. "If you keep going like you are, you're going to end up in the hospital."

"I'll figure out something," Hotch told him as he bent and put his shoes on.

"Why didn't you shave this morning?" Hotch gave him a confused look and actually reached up to his face. Rossi could tell that Hotch was surprised to find stubble. "Did you just forget or did you actually think you had?" Hotch hung his head and headed for the bathroom. "When this case is over, Aaron, we are going to have a talk about this."

**XXXXX**

Kahlan woke up to very stiff muscles. She tried to stretch and realized she couldn't. Her eyes finally opened and she realized her head was resting on her thighs. She slowly picked up her head as the muscles in her neck and back screamed against any movement. As she turned her head to look around and try to kinks out of it, she realized they had moved her again. _Apparently I damaged the cell too much!_ She thought with a smile, but the smile left quickly as she noticed how she was tied up. She was sitting on the floor and her knees were drawn up in front of her. Her hands were tied in front of her knees and there was a piece of round wood going through over her elbows and under her knees rendering her immobile. When she tried to move her feet, she realized her ankles were tied together, too. She used all of the strength she could muster and tried to break the piece of wood. _Shit! I can't get enough leverage. That or I'm too damn weak!_

She coughed and realized with anger that she was getting sick form the cold, and being scrunched over was making it a little hard to breathe, too. _Damn it! Maybe it wasn't worth it._ She had always had a problem keeping a lid on her anger once she passed a certain point. She had a long fuse, but once it burned down she usually exploded and now she knew her anger had gotten the better of her.

She looked around the room again. She couldn't see any cameras and the only light was what was coming through two small horizontal windows at the top of the wall. She couldn't see out of them, but it was nice to know it was daytime. She rested her head back onto her thighs and she tried not to think about what else Demitri was going to do to her. She noticed, too, that this new room was colder than the other one. _Maybe I'll freeze to death in my sleep._

**XXXXX**

The teamed worked hard and by midafternoon, they had their unsub and had saved both boys. Everyone was in a good mood on the evening flight back home, except Hotch. Garcia had called to let them know that she hadn't found anything in her search of Ohio. Chuck had also called and said that he couldn't find anything to suggest where Demitri had gone, and Hotch was sinking further into a depression. Hotch's head was turned as if he was looking out the window, but Rossi could tell his eyes were unfocused. Rossi went over and sat beside his unofficial son. Hotch didn't even register that he noticed Rossi next to him. With a sigh, Rossi nudged Hotch's leg. Hotch startled at finding anyone so close to him. He looked at Rossi with eyes on the verge of crying again. Rossi gave him a pat on the leg. "Talk to me, Aaron."

Hotch shook his head slowly. "There's nothing to talk about," he told him in a defeated tone.

"What are you thinking about?"

"That the boys start school next week, that Joey will have to go into daycare, that it's going on three weeks since I've seen my wife, and that as a father and a husband I have failed miserably!"

"Aaron, just stop. You are one of the best men I know, and that includes you being an awesome father and a wonderful husband! Kahlan would have never married you if you weren't."

Hotch leaned his head back against the seat. He closed his eyes and for a second, Rossi didn't think he was going to continue the conversation, but he finally turned to him. "I don't want to face the fact that I may never see her again, Dave, but each day that goes by without anything new, that reality becomes more and more of a possibility."

Rossi shook his head quickly. "No it doesn't. Kahlan looked for Wyatt for over three years, and we found him. Don't tell me that since she hasn't been found yet that she may not be found."

"But we found leads to help us find Wyatt. We haven't found any leads. . ."

"Just because we haven't found them yet does not mean they don't exist!" Rossi was starting to get a little angry. He didn't like the way Hotch was acting. Normally he would talk to him about something and straighten him out, but Hotch seemed hell bent on staying stuck in this new defeated mood. "Why are you acting like this? I've never seen you give up so easily before."

Hotch just shrugged. Then with another shake of his head, he leaned back and shut his eyes again.

Rossi watched as Hotch shivered, and he had the horrible feeling Kahlan was also giving up. _Come on, God! We could use a little help here!_

**XXXXX**

Kahlan heard a door open, but she didn't raise her head to see who it was. She heard footsteps approaching her and suddenly her body jerked and convulsed as something touched her back. "You awake?" Nick asked with an evil chuckle as he fidgeted with the cattle prod.

Kahlan tried to breathe past the pain in her muscles, but she still didn't raise her head. _And here we go._

Nick touched the prod to her back again and a small scream escaped her despite her trying not to give any reaction. "So you are awake," Nick said as he grabbed her hair and pulled her head back so she was looking at him.

"Fuck. You."

"Not yet, but soon," he told her with a smile and let her hair go as he touched the prod to her leg.

Her leg convulsed so much that Kahlan thought it was actually going to break the rod of wood holding her in the horrible position. She didn't let the fear his words caused cross her face as she kept it as passive as she could.

He touched her shoulder with the prod and another scream escaped her. She gasped as the pain receded and left her arm numb. "I don't want you to fight me too much," he told her sadistically as he touched her other arm.

"You touch me with that thing one more time, I'm going to shove it so far up your ass that you'll choke on it!" She told them with a glare that would have scared most men.

He laughed and he hit her across her back with it like a switch. She jerked little and grunted in pain. That seemed to excite him and he did it again. "By the time I'm done with you, you won't be able to hurt anyone again."

She rested her head on her thighs as she tried to breathe through the pain. Demitri had said he wanted her alive, but apparently hurt was alright. _That or I've pissed him off enough that he doesn't care anymore. Damn it!_ He jammed the prod onto her other leg and held it there. She screamed in pain and wished for the darkness to consume her, but it wouldn't. He finally pulled the prod away, and she let her head fall back weakly. He used the opportunity to backhand her across the face. The blow caught her on her right eye. "I'm going to kill you!" She yelled as she looked at him. She could already feel the top of her cheek starting to swell.

"Oh, I don't think so," he told her and he back handed her again.

She could feel blood dripping down her chin from the split in the right corner of her mouth. She bent down and wiped her mouth on her jeans.

He laughed at her. "I'm going to have so much fun with you."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Hotch never said another word the whole trip home. At one point, Rossi saw Hotch's head jerk and then watched as Hotch reached up and rubbed his cheek, but Hotch just sighed and got still again. Rossi would have thought Hotch was dreaming, except he knew he wasn't sleep. He didn't think Hotch had slept at all on the trip home, and Rossi started to get more and more worried.

He watched him get off the jet and Rossi hurried up to make sure he got to drive the SUV back to the BAU. Hotch just sat in the passenger seat silently, and Rossi stomach started to hurt. He figured that Hotch was going to get right in his car and leave, but instead he headed into the building. With a sigh, Rossi followed him. It was late, but Rossi knew Donna was at the house with the kids.

Garcia was waiting for them when they walked through the glass doors of the bullpen. "I have something. I don't know what it means exactly, but it's something," she told Hotch in a half excited tone.

"What?" Hotch asked her. Rossi noticed Garcia's excitement did nothing to stimulated Hotch's. They all followed her to the conference room.

"Donald Smith's body was just found outside Cincinnati."

_Ohio!_ "When?" Rossi asked before Hotch had a chance.

"Sometime this afternoon."

Rossi could tell by Hotch's look of confusion that he had no idea who Donald Smith was. "That's the phone she used to send you that message." Rossi's stomach flipped. There was no way Hotch should not have remembered the man's name.

"Oh yeah, well, I guess we know how she got it," Hotch told him dryly.

"What was the cause of death?" Morgan asked her.

She glanced at Hotch but quickly looked at Rossi. Rossi nodded. "His neck was snapped."

"Do they know TOD?" JJ asked her.

"According to the report, the ME estimates about a week ago."

"So right after she was taken. That would make since with what that idiot Mitch said about Demitri heading to Ohio," Rossi told Hotch with a smile.

Hotch was about to say something when his phone went off. He took it out of his pocket, looked at the caller ID and put it on speaker. "You're on speaker, Chuck."

"Cameron's got an image from here in Baltimore. We think we have the van that Demitri used to transport Kay."

"You got a plate number?" Garcia asked quickly.

"Yeah, but Cam's already run them. The tags were stolen two weeks ago, but he was hoping you could run your search, Pen."

"Of course!" Her laptop dinged and she quickly brought up the email that contained a picture of the van.

"It was spotted on the Pennsylvania turnpike at one of the service stations on westbound side," Chuck explained. Garcia quickly explained about Donald Smith. "Well, it looks like I'm headed to Ohio."

Everyone at the table looked at Hotch, they were expecting him to want to go. Rossi couldn't tell what he was thinking. "You want to join him? We could leave now." They all looked at him and they could tell he was warring within himself.

"I can make sure we don't get a case for a couple of days," Morgan told him.

"We could all go," Reid suggested.

Hotch started to shake his head slowly. "And what would we do? We don't even know if they are there for sure."

Rossi's heart sank. It was true, but Hotch's defeated tone was back. They all watched him stand up and turn toward the wall.

"Well, I'm going. Let me know if you find anything, Pen," Chuck told them from the phone, and they could all hear his disappointment.

"Hotch?" JJ asked.

Hotch rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. "If we had something a little more concrete. . ." He started without even turning around to look at them.

"Go, Chuck, and let us know what you find," Rossi told him.

"Alright," Chuck told him and ended the call.

They all looked at Rossi. "Go home. It's late. We'll see you all in the morning," Rossi told them and they all got up slowly and left the room. "Hotch?"

Hotch finally turned back around. "I can't allow the team to just wonder aimlessly through Ohio, Dave."

"I know."

"You think I should go?"

"I didn't say that."

"You clearly think that I should be doing something."

"No, Aaron. You're the one beating yourself up over not having anything to do."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, but it's scaring me to see you so defeated."

Hotch shook his head, sat down, put his elbows on the table, and hid his face in his hands. "How else am I supposed to feel?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little excited over finding another lead, maybe a little mad at the whole situation, anything other than what you're feeling. Damn, what are the kids going to think when they see you like this?"

Hotch took a couple of deep breaths. "He's torturing her," Hotch told him so quietly that Rossi had to strain to hear him.

"Oh God!" Rossi wasn't sure how Hotch knew that, but he knew it was true. He was really beginning to believe that Hotch and Kahlan were soul mates. He got up and sat in the seat next to Hotch and put his hand on his back. "Then shouldn't you be pissed? Being pissed would be better than giving up."

Hotch took a shuddering breath. "I am pissed, but without a target to aim my anger at. . ." he shook his head again. He finally looked at Rossi and Rossi thought he looked like he was going to cry again. "I don't know why I'm feeling these things, but it scares me, Dave."

"You're feeling them because you and Kahlan are connected on a level most people only dream about, Aaron. You can't give up on that, though, you have to fight to keep it and you have to believe you will find her." Hotch nodded weakly. "What does your gut tell you?"

"That she's not in Ohio. I don't know where, but Ohio doesn't feel right."

"Ok, then. Maybe Garcia and Chuck will come up with something else. You don't think she's still around here, do you?"

Hotch shook his head. "No. It seems like she's farther away than that, but I don't think she even knows."

**XXXXX**

When Nick had touched the cattle prod to the back of Kahlan's neck, she'd passed out. Before he could do anything else, Tony had went into the room and told him that Dee wanted to see him. Nick was disgusted, but left. Tony looked at the battered woman, and his heart sank a little. He had grown to admire her, and he was feeling sorry for her with what Nick was doing and what he was going to do to her. He walked closer to her. "If you're awake, I'm sorry about this," he told her quietly. "If you have a chance, you need to kill Nick before he does what I think he wants to do to you." He wasn't sure if she was awake or not, but he hopped she heard him.

Kahlan looked at Tony out of the corner of her eye as she watched him leave. She knew what Nick wanted to do and it chilled her even more than the cold. She coughed a little but smiled. _He'll have to release me to do that!_

**XXXXX**

Hotch entered the house quietly. He didn't want to wake up the kids. As he shut the door behind him, he noticed Wyatt asleep on the couch with Sampson. Sampson looked at him as he walked over and adjusted the blanket on Wyatt. Hotch patted the dog on the head and then headed downstairs to Jack's room. He opened the door quietly and saw Goliath on the bed with Jack. They were both sound asleep, so he shut the door and headed upstairs to check on his daughter. He opened her bedroom door and stopped when he realized she wasn't in her bed. He thought for a second that maybe she had crawled in bed with Donna in the guestroom, but when he walked into his room he saw a little figure underneath the covers. He smiled sadly; she had been spending a lot of nights in her parent's bed since Kahlan had left.

He went to the bathroom and got in his pajamas. He tried to crawl into the bed without waking her up.

"Mommy?" Joey asked sleepily.

Hotch's chest tightened. "No, Angel. It's just daddy." She didn't even open her eyes as she snuggled up to him. He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest. He stroked her hair as he thought about Kahlan. _God, please let me find her._

XXX

Hotch woke up as soon as he was about to fall off Kahlan's side of the bed. He caught himself on the nightstand and looked around quickly. Joey was gone and once his eyes focused, he realized it was after nine. He shook his head and went to grab his phone to call the team and apologize for being late, but his phone wasn't on his nightstand. He checked the alarm clock and realized someone had turned his alarm off. _What the hell?_ He made his way to his bathroom and then went downstairs.

"Who shut off my alarm?" He asked once he realized everyone was in the family room.

"I did. Aunt Pen called and said you all had the day off, so we thought you should sleep in," Wyatt told him with a grin.

"And my phone?"

"Right here," Jack told him as he held it up. "We didn't want it waking you up either." Hotch advanced on him and took his phone. "It hasn't gone off once."

Hotch nodded and went to the kitchen. Donna handed him a cup of coffee with a smile. "Is this your doing?" He asked her as he took the cup.

"Nope. Penny called Wyatt and the kids came up with it on their own. They asked me, but I thought it was a good idea. Don't be mad at them. They knew you got in late."

Hotch took a drink of his coffee. "I'm not mad. It just shocked me that I actually slept, and then I thought I overslept."

"We can all tell you haven't been sleeping well, Aaron." She stepped closer to him. "Any news?" She asked in a whisper. He swallowed hard and shook his head. She put his hand on his shoulder with a sympathetic look. "Well, try to enjoy your day off. You want me to stay?"

"No, thank you for offering, though. I think we'll just hang out here today."

She gave him a small smile. "Try and cheer up some for the kids' sake, Aaron. I know it's hard, but you need to try." He gave her a confused look. He thought he was putting on a good face for the kids. She shook her head. "It's hard enough to keep myself from giving up hope without any news, but when I look at you and you look like you have given up hope. . . I just can't handle that, and I don't think the kids will be able to either," she told him as her eyes watered.

"Donna, I'm. . ." He shook his head, stood up straight, squared his shoulders, and looked her in the eyes. "I haven't given up hope, and I'm sorry if I gave you that impression." He sat down his coffee and pulled her into a hug.

She hugged him tightly and then looked him in the eyes. "That's better," she told him with a smile and went to tell the kids goodbye.

**XXXXX**

"She's ready." Nick told Demitri.

"No she's not. If you go in there now, she's going to kill you."

Nick scoffed. "She hasn't eaten or drank for three days, I've shocked her whole body repeatedly, and I've beat her. You don't think I can handle her now?"

"No, I don't."

"You just have the cameras ready. I think we need to send her hubby a nice video of what's been happening to his wife."

"Oh, it's already in the making, but I'm not sure about adding your little stunt."

"So you're gonna let me try?"

"I resolve myself of any responsibility. If you go in there, you go in of your own free will and with the knowledge that I think you are stupid to try it now."

Nick smiled. "You have no faith in me."

"Nope, but I do have faith in her," Demitri told him with a smirk.

Nick smiled and left to go to Kahlan's new cell.

**XXXXX**

Hotch walked in and joined his kids in the family room. Joey jumped up and let him have his usual spot on the couch and then climbed into his lap. "You guys want to do anything special since I have the day off?"

Jack glance at Wyatt. "Nah. We figured we'd just take of you for the day."

Hotch smiled. He could tell they had already discussed it. "Yeah? And what does that entail?"

Joey turned and smiled at him. "We gonna make you dinner!"

"Yeah? What are you gonna make me?"

Wyatt smiled. "That's for you to find out later."

"Mommy told me what to make you," Joey told him as she hugged his neck.

Hotch noticed the boys' shocked looks. He pulled Joey's arm away from his neck and pushed her away from him so he could look at her face. "What do you mean, Mommy told you what to make?"

"On the puter. Mommy talked to me," she told him with a smile.

Hotch looked at the boys, but he could tell they had no idea what she was talking about. "Show me."

Joey smiled and ran to the laptop Hotch had found on the day Kahlan left. Joey opened it and clicked on one of the files Kahlan had left for her. Kahlan's smiling face came up in what Hotch realized was a recording Kahlan had made before she left. A pair of headphones was still plugged in so Hotch couldn't hear what Kahlan was saying, but seeing his wife's face made his chest hurt. He had almost forgotten about the files Cameron had found. Wyatt noticed Hotch's face and reached up and shut the laptop.

"Hey!" Joey yelled.

"Not now, Joe. We'll watch it later, k?" Wyatt told her with a smile.

She nodded and went back to the couch. Hotch took a deep breath. "Have you guys watched any of them?"

"No," Wyatt said as he looked at Jack.

"We didn't even know those were there. Why didn't you tell us?" Jack asked his father.

"I was so upset in the beginning. . . I forgot about them. How did Joey know they were there?"

"I don't know. Mom always let her play on it, though. She must have found them on her own," Wyatt surmised.

"I'm sorry guys, but I can't watch them right now, but I won't stop you all from watching them," Hotch told them as he tried to fight the tears that wanted to escape.

"We understand. We won't watch them when you're around. Maybe we should go do something today," Wyatt suggested.

"No. Just give me a little bit. I'll be alright," Hotch told them as he squeezed Wyatt's shoulder on his way past him and started up the stairs.

Jack and Wyatt watched him leave. "I don't know how much longer he'll survive without mom," Jack told Wyatt as his eyes teared up.

"I know. I thought we had it bad, but seeing him like this makes it ten times worse," Wyatt admitted as he wiped his eyes.

"Think we should call Uncle Dave?"

Wyatt smiled. "Yeah, I think Dad needs a friend right now."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Poppi!" Joey yelled as Rossi walked in the door. She ran and jumped into his arms.

"Hey, Bella!" Rossi said with a smile and kissed her cheek. She giggled. "Where's Daddy?"

"He's upstairs. He's sad again," Joey told him with a frown.

"I know. That's why I'm here."

"You gonna make him happy again?"

"I'm going to try sweetheart," Rossi told her with a smile and put her down. "Hey guys," Rossi told the boys when they joined him in the foyer.

"Thanks for coming, Uncle Dave," Wyatt told him as he gave him a hug.

"He was ok to start with, but after finding out about the. . ." Jack didn't finish. They had told him about the laptop on the phone. Rossi patted him on the back as he gave him a hug.

"Let me go talk to him. Has he had any coffee yet?"

"I'll get it," Wyatt said and ran to the kitchen. He came back with two cups in his hand.

Rossi took them with a smile and headed upstairs.

**XXXXX**

Nick opened the door to Kahlan's room with a smile on his face. Kahlan was awake and listened as he walked up behind her. _And here we go._

"You awake?" He asked as he kicked her lower back.

She grunted and then coughed, but she didn't pick her head up off her thighs.

He grabbed hair on the back of her head and yanked her head back to make her look at him. "I asked you a question, bitch!"

Kahlan made her eyes unfocused and opened them halfway.

"Damn, you still even in there?" He asked with a smile. "A little too weak to be a bitch now, huh?"

He let go of her head and she let her head fall back to her thighs. _I'll never be too weak to be a bitch, asshole!_

He reached down and pulled the wooden rod out from between her legs and elbows. She made sure to not move. He threw the rod and pulled out a knife. Kahlan heard the blade snap open and for a second she was afraid of what he was going to do until she felt him cut through the ropes at her ankles. He violently shoved her shoulder and she fell into a lying position. She slowly let her muscles stretch after being in the strange position for so long. He got on his knees and straddled her. "Ready to have some fun?"

_Not yet, but shortly. _She grunted as her grabbed the ropes binding her hands and yanked her arms above her head. He bent down and licked her left cheek. She had to fight the bile that wanted to rise up her throat. "You really are hot, you know that?" He asked as he started kissing a trail down her neck.

She couldn't help herself, she cringed, but he didn't get alarmed by it. _No actually, I'm fucking cold, but the adrenaline is starting to warm me up._

He reached up and ripped her shirt down the middle. He laughed as her groped her breasts roughly. The pain made her grunt. "Oh, does that hurt?" He asked her as he squeezed them harder. "You like it like that don't you."

_Oh yeah, it ranks right up there with a root canal with no novocain._

**XXXXX**

Rossi found Hotch sitting on the side of his bed. Hotch's shocked look made Rossi laugh. "The boys called me," he told him as he walked up and handed him a cup of coffee.

Hotch took the cup, took a drink, and shook his head. "They tell you about Joey?"

Rossi sat down next to him. "Yeah, you ok?"

"I didn't know she had found those files."

"It apparently didn't upset her."

"No."

"So what's the problem?"

"I saw Kahlan on the screen and I felt like I couldn't breathe." He sighed. "I can't watch them if she's telling us goodbye."

"That can't be what she told Joey. You never know, it might make you feel better to watch the ones she made for you."

Hotch turned to look at him slowly. "No. I think I'd miss her even more."

"Is that even possible?"

"Humph," Hotch huffed with a small smile. "Probably not."

"You do you like you got a little sleep."

Hotch actually smiled. "Cause I didn't sleep alone." With Rossi's puzzled look, he explained. "Joey was already in my bed when I got home."

Rossi smiled. "Seems like the kids know exactly what you need."

"Yeah, she's so much like Kahlan and the boys. . . Well they're too smart for me to try to get anything past them."

"Well, with the parents they have, it's no wonder. They'll be taking over our jobs one day," Rossi told him proudly.

"Yeah. I'm not sure who will be more scary, the boys or Joey," Hotch joked.

"Definitely Joey. Deadly like Kahlan and with the Hotch stare. God help the unsubs," Rossi told him with a laugh.

Hotch laughed, too. "And with Wyatt, Jack, and Henry behind her, the criminal world won't know what hit them."

Rossi patted Hotch's leg. "You ready to go down stairs?"

Hotch smiled. "Yeah. Thanks, Dave."

Rossi stood up and smiled. "Come on. I'll have the boys fix us breakfast."

Hotch stood up and headed for the door. Rossi got up and followed him. Suddenly Hotch stopped and Rossi ran into his back. "What the hell, Hotch?"

Hotch's knees almost buckled and Rossi grabbed him to steady him. "Oh my God!" Hotch exclaimed as Rossi steered him the closest seat which turned out to be back to the bed.

Jack and Wyatt came running in through the door. "What's wrong?" Wyatt asked them as soon as he took in Hotch.

Hotch looked at Rossi with pleading eyes. Rossi turned to the boys quickly. "Nothing he just stubbed his toe on the bed frame. He's fine," he told them as he herded them out of the room. He could tell by their looks that they didn't believe him but they left without argument. As soon as he shut the door he went back and sat down next to Hotch. "What?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he had to ask. Hotch was breathing rapidly and he had hidden his face in his hands. Rossi rubbed circles on his back. "Calm down, Aaron."

After a few minutes Hotch sniffed and wiped his face, but he didn't sit up. "She's scared. She hasn't been scared yet, Dave. What does that mean?"

"I don't know," Rossi told him quietly. He didn't want to have to talk about what he thought would actually scare Kahlan. "You can't tell?"

"No, but I think she's in pain, too."

Rossi cringed. "She's a strong woman, Aaron."

"I know, but I think she's getting weaker," he told him and Rossi could hear the fear in his voice.

"You know I don't want dismiss what you're feeling, but the kids. . ."

"I know," Hotch started and stood up. He walked to his restroom to splash water on his face.

Once he emerged, Rossi couldn't see any of the emotions that had almost brought him to his knees a moment ago. Rossi smiled. "You good?"

Hotch nodded and headed downstairs. Rossi sighed heavily and followed him.

**XXXXX**

Nick pushed her bra up over Kahlan's breasts and put his mouth on one. She had to fight the urge to fight back because her hands were still asleep. With her wrists being tied up for so long her circulation had been cut off, and she needed them to wake up to be able to fight back fully. He started biting and marking her all long her chest and torso. He was so intent on what he was doing, he didn't notice her moving her fingers rapidly as she tried to get her circulation going. _God, I hope those marks are gone before I ever get a chance to look in a mirror again!_

He continued to bite her and slobber on her as he made his way down to her stomach. He stopped and looked at her for a second, and he laughed at her just lying there and letting him do what he wanted. He punched her in the stomach and she grunted with the pain. "You can yell you know," he told her as he started to undo her belt and pants.

_You'll be the one fucking yelling, asshole!_

Once he had her pants undone he started to pull them down.

_Don't take my shoes off. Don't take my shoes off. _ She kept wishing as he pulled them down to her ankles and then stopped. _Dumbass!_

He used his used his knee to spread her legs apart. "Ready for a real man?" He asked with an evil laugh.

_Oh, is there someone else here? _She laughed mentally. _You're not ready what this woman is going to give you!_

**XXXXX**

Rossi sat at the table with Hotch as the boys brought them a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. "You guys are awesome," Rossi told them with a small smile.

"I helped, too," Joey said as she brought them each a half full glass of orange juice.

"Yeah, well you already know I think you're awesome," Rossi told her and tickled her. She giggled as she twisted out of his grasp easily.

"Yeah, they said they wanted to take care of me today. I don't know what I did to deserve such wonderful kids," Hotch told them with a smile.

They all smiled at him and then left to take Joey outside in the backyard. The dogs ran and got out of the door before Wyatt could close it. Rossi laughed and shook his head.

"Think I could sneak Joey to the hotel on our next case?" Hotch asked as he started eating.

Rossi laughed. "While I think she would enjoy that, I don't think regulations would allow her on the jet."

"I just can't seem to be able to sleep alone anymore. You'd think that after all those years of sleeping alone, I wouldn't have a problem with it."

"Apparently you've gotten used to it. It took me forever to get used to sleeping alone after Caroline, but you won't have to worry about that. Kahlan will be back."

"I never had a problem sleeping during a case before all this started."

"It's not just the sleeping alone; it's the stress of the whole thing."

Hotch nodded and finished his plate. Before he could get up and put his plate in the sink, Jack came back in and took it from him. "You all spying on us?" Hotch joked with him.

"Yeah," is all Jack said with a smile. He grabbed Rossi's plate and the empty cups and took them to the kitchen.

**XXXXX**

Nick laid down on Kahlan and she could feel his erection digging into her. She tried to swallow the bile that was rising in her throat again. He kissed her roughly on the right cheek, hurting the bruise he had put there the day before. He laughed at her discomfort. _Laugh it up, asshole. You won't be laughing much longer._

He sat up and reached down to undo his pants. She finally allowed herself a smile. "What? You enjoying this? You will. . ."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"Oh yeah," Kahlan told him wickedly and she brought her legs up and let her pants wrap around his face and neck. She used all the strength she could muster and forced her legs and Nick to the floor. "I'm loving this!" She sat up, pulled one hand free of the loose ropes, and grabbed the sensitive sack that held the key to his manhood and yanked hard. He screamed in pain and it was her turn to laugh. "You like it like that don't you?" She pulled even harder. "You move, and I'll rip these off and let you bleed to death slowly," she told him quietly. He nodded quickly as he whimpered.

Keeping a tight grip on his manhood, she moved into a push-up position and pulled her pants back up with her free hand. She noticed the knife in his pants pocket and reached in and took it out. She straddled him and held the knife up to his throat as she pulled her bra back down over her breasts. She was about to say something but a coughing fit caught her by surprise.

Nick used the opportunity and slammed a fist into the side of her head knocking her to the floor beside him. She rolled a couple times to get away from him and as she moved into a crouching position, they both heard the door unlocking. He smiled and advanced on her in a rush. She reached behind her and grasped the wooden rod. As soon as his charge was close enough, she brought the piece of wood out in front of her; and with a jab, she impaled him on it. "Not exactly a cattle prod up your ass, but it works." His look of shock was priceless, and she smiled as he gurgled and fell to his knees. She knew the upward thrust had taken its toll on his organs and that he would be dead soon. _Nice and painful, too!_

Two men ran into the room with their guns leveled. They took in the situation and turned their guns on her. She knew they were dart guns, and she knew she was going to pay for what she had done, but she couldn't get the smile off her face. Demitri walked in behind the two men. He shook his head as he looked at Nick. "Put him out of his misery," he told one of the men. The man took out a knife and walked up and slit Nick's throat.

Kahlan laughed and ended up coughing. She stood up and squared her shoulders. She crossed her arms across her chest and waited for her punishment with dignity.

"You just keep making things harder on yourself," Demitri told her as another man walked in behind him.

Kahlan noticed the man smile as he looked at the other two men dragging Nick's body out of the room. "I don't take kindly to someone trying to rape me."

"If it means anything, I told him you would kill him."

"And yet he was still dumb enough to try. What's with your men, Dee? That is what they call you, right? What are they too stupid to pronounce Dah – meat – tree?" She asked him sarcastically.

"He just thought he was better than he was. He's always been arrogant."

"Not any more, he's not."

Tony laughed, but stopped as soon as Demitri gave him a dirty look. "I'll just have to change things up a bit," Demitri told her with an evil smile.

She just stared at him, and he turned and walked past Tony and out the door. Tony took off his shirt and threw it to Kahlan. She caught it with a nod of thanks, and he left and locked the door behind him. She took off the tattered remains of her shirt and put on the new long sleeve shirt and sank to the floor. The entire ordeal had spent whatever energy she had. _Fuck that was close! I don't know how much more of this I can take._

**XXXXX**

After a morning and afternoon without any more breakdowns from Hotch, the boys talked Rossi into taking Hotch out for a drink while they fixed dinner. Hotch didn't want to leave them alone, so they called their Uncle Spencer to come over and supervise so Hotch didn't have to worry. Hotch didn't have the heart to tell them he knew what they were going to make because he had seen the roast in the fridge, so he left with Rossi to allow them their surprise.

Once they were at the bar, Garcia called with an update. "Go ahead, Garcia. You've got me and Rossi."

"Oh good, you're not alone," Garcia started. She heard Hotch's moan and realized she had chosen her words wrongly. "Oh, it's not bad news, but it's not really good news either. Sorry," she added quickly.

"What is it, Kitten?" Rossi asked her as he shook his head.

"The turnpike cameras show the van from Cameron's picture going all the way through Ohio. The last place I can put it is at the last toll booth in Ohio, but I don't know where it went from there, and the last booth is about twenty miles before the interstate runs into Indiana."

"Could you see anyone in the van?" Hotch asked her.

"Just the driver and the up front passenger. Neither man was Demitri, but I am running facial recognition on them."

"Alright, thanks, Garcia. I really do appreciate what you're doing," Hotch told her sincerely.

"Not a problem. I want to find our double-o-agent almost as much as you do, sir."

Hotch smiled. Rossi smiled, too. "Thanks, Kitten. We'll see you at the bullpen tomorrow."

"Of course you will," she said joyfully and ended the call.

"Apparently no one has ever told her that the double-o term is a British rank?" Hotch asked as he took a drink of his scotch.

"I've told her plenty of times, but you know her," Rossi told him with a smile.

Hotch's phone went off again. "Go ahead, Cam, you've got me and Rossi." Hotch told him with a look at Rossi.

"Got another image. At one of the travel plazas on the Ohio turnpike, I can clearly see Kahlan getting out of the van and walking to the building."

Rossi noticed Hotch's look of fear mixed with confusion. "She was walking of her own volition?"

"She was surrounded by three men, but yes, I would say so."

"At least she wasn't hurt on the trip," Rossi told him. "Have you heard anything from Chuck?"

"Not yet, but I would think if he finds anything, Hotch will be the first to know," he told him and ended the call.

"How is it that they all always seem to call around the same time?" Hotch asked Rossi.

"I don't know. Must be some sort of computer thing," Rossi told him with a smile.

**XXXXX**

Demitri and Tony were reviewing the tape of Nick's time in the cell. "Shit! She still had his knife!" Demitri yelled as he watched her hold the knife against Nick's throat.

"I can make a trade for it," Tony suggested.

Demitri gave him a puzzled look. "What do you have in mind? I was thinking about just darting her and taking it."

"You could do that, but I was thinking of giving her something she needs," he told him with a smile as held up a bottle of water.

Demitri smiled. "That'll work, if she'll do it. She's bound to building up a resistance to those drugs anyway."

Tony smiled and walked to Kahlan's room.

Kahlan woke with a start when she heard the door opening; she hadn't meant to doze off. She scrambled to stand up and had to balance herself on the wall. She watched as Tony stepped into the doorway but didn't come any further.

He smiled at her. "You have Nick's knife."

"Do I?" She asked innocently.

He noticed her hands were behind her back. "I want to trade this bottle of water for it."

She stared at him as her dry throat screamed for the water. "Why?"

"Because I know you have got to be thirsty, and I don't want to have to worry about you trying to kill me with that knife," he told her honestly.

"Throw in a nice steak dinner, and you might have yourself a deal." She wasn't sure what to make of the man before her. She knew he was the one who gave her the shirt and had warned her about Nick, and she could tell he wasn't a stupid man, but she just couldn't get a handle on him.

He laughed. "No steak around here, but maybe a burger."

"And where would here be?"

Tony glance quickly at the camera in the center of the room. "I can't say."

_He said can't, not won't. Hmmmm._ "So something to eat and a drink, then."

"Give me the knife, and I promise to bring you back something to eat within ten minutes."

She studied him. She didn't have anything to lose by trusting him. She knew they could just gas her again or dart her to get the knife, so she leaned down and put the knife on the floor in front of her. "Any chance you could turn the thermostat up a little, too?" She asked and then kicked the knife to him.

"No control over that either, sorry," he told her and rolled the bottle of water to her feet after he picked up the knife.

"Couldn't hurt to ask," she told him with a smile.

He smiled back and shut the door. She reached down and grabbed the water and took a long drink. She stopped herself from drinking too much because she wasn't sure when she'd get another bottle.

**XXXXX**

Hotch and Rossi got back to the house after Wyatt had texted Hotch and told them that dinner was almost done. They walked in on Wyatt beating Reid in a game of chess. Jack and Joey were watching the game intently.

"You're actually winning?" Rossi asked Wyatt with surprise.

Wyatt gave him a feigned hurt win. "I've had good teachers."

Hotch shook his head. He knew Kahlan had been teaching both of the boys how to play.

"Uncle Spence should move his horsey," Joey told Jack. They all looked at the board. Rossi laughed.

"Hey, no fair. You can't help him," Wyatt said as soon as he saw what the move would do.

Reid turned a shocked look to Joey. "Has your mom been teaching you, too?"

"Me and Mommy play afer she plays with the boys," Joey told him with a smile.

Hotch shook his head. _She is so much like her mother!_ "Well, since that'll be check mate. I say put it away so we can eat."

"That's not a loss, you're not supposed to have help," Wyatt told Reid as he started to pick up the pieces.

"I was going to move the knight anyway," Reid told with a smile. They all could tell he was lying.

"Sowy, Uncle Spence," Joey told him as she went up to hug his waist.

"That's ok. I guess I'll have to play you next," he told her as he tickled her. She giggled and ran into the family room.

"You're staying for dinner, right, Uncle Spencer?" Jack asked him from the kitchen as he got down the plates.

"Sure. I wouldn't pass up a homemade meal at any time," Reid told him as he made his way to the kitchen to see if he could help.

XXX

Four days later and on a case in Texas, Chuck finally called Hotch. Hotch looked at his phone, saw who was calling, and excused himself out of the conference room. "Hey, Chuck. We were really starting to get worried about you."

"Sorry, but I've spent the last five days combing Cincinnati with a fine tooth comb, and I can't find any traces of Demitri or Kahlan."

Hotch sighed. He didn't think he would have found anything, but he couldn't tell anyone else but Rossi about his feelings. "I'm sure you did your best. They probably just dumped the body there to throw us off."

"Yeah, but it still sucks. You have anywhere else I should check out?"

"No. Go on home. The kids miss you."

Chuck sighed. Hotch could tell he didn't like giving up, but what else could he do. "Alright, I'll head back in the morning. Where are you guys?"

"Texas, but I think we'll be done tomorrow. I'll see you when we get back, and thanks, Chuck, for everything."

"No need to thank me, Hotch. You all are my family, too. I'll see you when you get back. Be careful," he told him and ended the call.

Hotch put his phone away and went back in to concentrate on the case.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

The team got back on Sunday, just in time for the boys to start school on Monday. Hotch knew they didn't have another case right away, so he took the day off. Jessica and Donna had taken the boys school shopping, and they were excited about starting another year, but Hotch could tell they were sad about their mother not being there. Jessica and Donna also wouldn't let Hotch put Joey in daycare, either. They agreed to split the days at Hotch's house, so that Joey could be home just like she would be if Kahlan was there. Hotch tried to keep up a good front, but each passing day without anything new about his wife, made it harder and harder for him to cope, and the poor kids were picking up on it. They were spending most of their time supporting him and trying to boost his spirits, and it pained him to think that it should be the other way around. Joey was very adamant that her mother would be home eventually, though, and Hotch tried to draw strength from her.

They waved goodbye to the bus and he followed his daughter back into the house. He sat on the couch and Joey climbed into his lap. "You wanna watch Animal Planet?" Hotch asked her as he turned on the tv.

She nodded and snuggled down into his lap further.

They both looked toward the door when they heard a key in the lock. Hotch gave Jessica a puzzled look as she walked into the family room. "Did I forget to tell you I was taking the day off?"

"Aunt Jess," Joey yelled and got up to run and hug her legs.

Jessica smiled and reached down to pick her up. She turned to make sure Joey was facing away from Hotch, and the look on her face made Hotch stand up. "You need to call Dave."

Hotch's chest tightened. Rossi had called Jessica and told her to come over. _Oh God!_ "Why?"

"He didn't tell me, but he said you needed to go in."

Hotch took a deep breath and tried to keep his face passive. After all of his years of training, he would have thought it should be easy, but it was getting harder and harder. He nodded and went upstairs. He took out his phone as soon as he shut his bedroom door. Dave answered his cell on the first ring. "What happened?" Hotch asked before Rossi even had a chance to greet him.

"You need to come in, and JJ's on her way to pick you up."

Hotch's heart started to pound in his ears. It had to be bad if Rossi was sending someone to pick him up. "Why?"

"Just get ready; she should be there any moment."

Rossi's voice didn't give anything away, and Hotch swallowed hard. "Alright," Hotch told him and ended the call. He sat down on the bed roughly. He knew they hadn't found her dead. _Dave would have come himself for something like that. But what could it be?_ He shook his head and headed to his restroom to get ready.

As he was getting dressed, he heard the doorbell and knew JJ had gotten there. He quickly threw on his shoes and ran down stairs. The look on JJ's face made his chest hurt even more, but he had to say goodbye to Joey, so he tried to smile as he went into the family room. "Hey, Angel, Daddy's got to go in to work for a while. You gonna be ok with Aunt Jess?" He asked her as he picked her up off the couch.

She studied his face, and Hotch knew she knew something was wrong. She put her hand on his cheek. "It be awright, Daddy" she told him seriously.

Hotch wasn't sure if she was talking about staying home with Jessica or if she knew something he didn't, but her look made his eyes water. "I hope so," Hotch told her and hugged her tightly. He gave her cheek a kiss and put her back on the couch. Without another word he went out the door.

JJ followed him after she gave Joey and Jessica a small smile.

As soon she shut the car door, Hotch took a deep breath and turned to her. "Before you ask, I have no idea. Dave just told me to come get you. He didn't say why," she told him truthfully as she started the car.

Hotch nodded and tried to relax in the seat. He spent the trip staring out of the window and trying not to let his imagination get away from him.

Hotch's long strides and quickened pace had JJ almost running to keep up with him as he made his way to the BAU. Right before the glass doors he stopped suddenly and JJ ran into his back. "Hotch?" She watched as Hotch took a long deep breath, squared his shoulders, and finally pushed one of the doors open. Rossi was in his office and he saw Hotch enter; he got up and met him halfway across the cat walk. Hotch noticed the rest of the team giving him sympathetic looks. "What happened?" Hotch asked as he wore his usual stoic demeanor.

Rossi was glad to see Hotch's usual work face because he didn't think he's be able to tell him had Hotch already been breaking down. "You got a delivery," Rossi told him as he led the way to Hotch's office. He let Hotch go in and he shut the door behind him.

"Where?" Hotch turned and asked as he scanned his desk but saw nothing out of place. He didn't bother sitting down.

Rossi reached into his back pocket and handed Hotch the envelope.

Hotch took it and immediately knew it was from Demitri because it matched the envelopes from Baltimore. His chest tightened. He could feel something besides paper in the envelope and his stomach twisted into a knot because he was pretty sure what it was. He glanced at the post mark and frowned as he saw it was mailed in Baltimore.

"It's probably just a forensic countermeasure," Rossi told him as if he could read his thoughts.

Hotch nodded and ripped the envelope open; he tilted it up and a flash drive came sliding into his hand. His fingers tightened around it, and pulled the piece of paper out of the envelope. He gave Rossi a quick look and then unfolded the paper. Rossi stepped closer so he could also read what the note said. 'Just a little idea of what your wife is suffering for you,' was written in black ink. Hotch's hands started to shake, so Rossi pulled the letter away from him and steered him toward his seat.

"Sit down, Aaron."

Hotch sat down as his eyes watered. "It's a video or something," Hotch started as he looked at the flash drive.

"Just breathe. Let me get these to the lab," Rossi told him as he grabbed the envelope Hotch had put on his desk. Hotch nodded, so Rossi left the office quickly and yelled for Reid. Reid ran up and Rossi told him what to do. Reid glanced into the office at Hotch who had put his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands. Morgan stood up and looked at Rossi questioningly. Rossi held up a finger to let him know they would be finding out what happened soon and went back Hotch's office and closed the door.

"Aaron?" Rossi asked as he went and put his hand on Hotch's shoulder.

"I. . ." Hotch took a shuddering breath. "Just when I think I have a handle on my emotions. . ."

"I'm so sorry, Aaron. You don't have to watch it. I can do it for you," Rossi suggested as he rubbed circles on Hotch's back.

Hotch took another breath and shook his head slowly. "I think I already know what's happened to her. I have to watch it."

"No you don't. We can watch it and see if there's anything to discern from it. You don't need to put yourself through that."

Hotch sat up. "She's the one going through it; the least I can do is watch it, and see if we can get any clues from it." He stood up and wiped his face. "I just need a minute."

Rossi patted him on the back. "I'll tell the team and get Garcia. Take your time. We'll be waiting in the conference room," Rossi told him as he took the flash drive from Hotch and left his office.

Hotch looked at the family picture he had on his desk and took another deep breath. _Please, God, let us find something on it to help us find her._

**XXXXX**

Kahlan sat in a modified dentist's chair. Her wrists were strapped down to the arms, her legs and ankles were held down, and her head was also held in place. A big screen tv was showing rapidly shifting pictures in an almost strobe like effect. The little bit of scopolamine that was blown into her face made her watch the images, and she couldn't get her brain to work right. She knew she was losing her mind, and it scared her to think of why it was being done to her because she couldn't remember.

**XXXXX**

Hotch walked into the conference room and saw that everyone was waiting on him. Their faces were etched with looks of fear, concern, and anger. "Hotch, you do not need to watch this," Morgan told him as he stood up.

"Yes, I do," Hotch told him as he sat down. Morgan ran a hand over his bald head and shot Rossi a look to let him know he did not like the whole mess. Hotch looked at Garcia; she had tears in her eyes. He nodded and she clicked on a few things with her mouse to start the video.

The screen filled with Kahlan's cell. They all watched in silence as she laid on the bed and shivered violently. They were all looking back and forth from the screen to Hotch. Garcia stifled a whimper as they watched water drop from the ceiling and Kahlan jumped up and they could tell she was cussing. "Well, that pissed her off," Morgan said angrily clearly just as pissed as Kahlan.

Hotch watched as she raked the hair out of her face, and he shut his eyes for a second. Now he knew why he had been so cold in the beginning. He was glad there wasn't any sound because he didn't think he could handle hearing her voice.

The scene moved forward in time to show her lying on the bed again. They watched as water dumped on her again. "Why isn't she reacting now? Why is she just lying there? Why does she keep lying back down?" JJ asked frantically.

Hotch studied the screen and swallowed hard. "I don't think she has a choice," he told them weakly.

"Yeah, see," Reid jumped up and pointed at the screen. "She's cuffed to the wall."

Morgan shot him a dirty look, and Reid sheepishly made his way back to his seat.

"It's alright. We need to analyze this to see if we can get a clue as to where she is," Hotch told them.

Rossi didn't like the tone of Hotch's voice.

The scene then cut to Kahlan being tied up in another room. Hotch tilted his head to try and figure out how she was tied up.

"Is that a broom handle?" Garcia asked; her voice filled with terror. It was bad enough to watch videos like that when she had to help with a case, but to see someone she had come to love as a sister on the screen made her heart break.

"She completely immobile. She must have pissed somebody off," Rossi told them proudly.

Hotch nodded as he had come to the same conclusion.

Hotch's heart stop for a second when they watched a man walk in with a cattle prod. _Oh God!_ Hotch looked away from the screen for a second, but his head snapped back as he heard the man talking to his wife. The sound worked just fine in that room. When Kahlan said 'Fuck you' Hotch actually smiled, but the man's reaction caused him to ball his hands into fists.

Every time the man touched Kahlan with the cattle prod and she screamed, the team saw Hotch flinch. Rossi watched him closely. He knew the video was tearing him apart, and he wanted to stop it but he knew Hotch wouldn't let him.

Rossi choked back a laugh when Kahlan told the man how she wated to use the cattle prod on him, but he jumped, too, when the man turned the prod into a whip.

When the man backhanded Kahlan, Hotch shifted in his seat violently, and they could all tell he was getting mad.

Another hit to the face made Garcia hide her face.

When the man said he was going to have fun with her, Morgan's anger made him slam a fist down onto the table and they all jumped.

When the man touched the cattle prod to Kahlan's neck, they could all see her spasm and pass out. They could all hear Hotch breathing rapidly through his nose, and Rossi was worried that Hotch was going to lose it.

The scene then changed to the same man coming back into the same room. They couldn't tell how much time had elapsed, but the man was wearing different clothes. JJ let out a stifled grunt when she watched him kick Kahlan in the back, and when he grabbed her by the hair, they all thought that Kahlan was too traumatized to react by the look on her face.

Hotch felt his chest tighten at seeing his wife so defeated, and hearing what the man was saying made the bile rise in his throat. He was scared at what was going to happen next. With a glance at Rossi, he knew that Rossi had come to the same conclusion.

As soon as the man had Kahlan on the ground and straddled her, they heard a growl type sound escape Hotch's throat. Knowing what the man was about to do to his wife was making it impossible for him to remain professional. Rossi noticed that Hotch was gripping the table with white knuckles. Seeing the man marking his wife the way he was made him jump to his feet and he couldn't take it any longer. "Turn. It. Off!" Garcia fumbled for the mouse. Hotch turned his head away from the screen once he saw the man move Kahlan's bra. "Turn it off!" he yelled.

Garcia whimpered but finally got the video to stop and quickly removed it from the screen. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Garcia started as she cried.

Hotch couldn't look at any of them. He held up his hand to tell them to not say anything. He was shaking, but it wasn't with fear. They watched him ball his hands into fists as he bit his lip trying to get ahold of himself. They had never seen him so angry. He couldn't handle it anymore and he stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him. They all looked to Rossi. Rossi was just as wild eyed as they were. "You're not going to go to him?" Reid asked frantically.

Rossi shook his head slowly. "No."

"Why not?" Garcia asked just as frantically.

"Because I go to him when he's hurting, when he needs a pep talk, or when he needs a shoulder to lean on," Rossi started.

"And you don't think he needs that now?!" Morgan asked him flabbergasted.

Rossi chuckled nervously. "No. Right now all he wants is a target for his anger, and I'm not about to let it be me."

Just then they heard glass breaking in the bullpen. "Shit!" Rossi yelled and they all jumped up and ran out to see what had happened.

They found Hotch standing outside his office still fuming. One of the big windows of Hotch's office was broken, and blood dripped from his right hand as it hung at his side. Rossi didn't think Hotch even knew he had been cut. Rossi looked at Morgan. "Get me a towel." Morgan nodded and ran to the break room. Rossi took a tentative step toward Hotch. "Hotch?" Rossi asked as he looked at everyone in the bullpen; they were all scared still and silent.

"That son of a bitch raped her!" Hotch yelled through clenched teeth.

Rossi's chest tightened. He now knew why Hotch had the feeling that Kahlan was scared earlier. He took another step toward Hotch. "And he'll pay for that. You're bleeding."

"I'm going to kill him!" Hotch yelled as he gestured toward the screen in the conference room and flung blood as he did it.

Rossi knew Hotch wasn't in his right mind, because Hotch would never have said something that incriminating in front of the whole bullpen otherwise. Morgan threw Rossi the towel, and Rossi took another step toward Hotch. Hotch fixed him with his stare and Rossi was tempted to take a step back. "Aaron?"

Hotch's eyes finally recognized Rossi, and Rossi could see the anger edging away to fear. "Dave. . . I. . . I can't," he stammered as he started to shake.

Rossi advanced on him quickly and grabbed his right hand. A quick inspection showed him a nasty cut on the inside of Hotch's wrist. Rossi wrapped the towel around it and looked at Morgan. "He needs to go to the ER."

Morgan nodded and ran to his desk to grab the SUV keys. Rossi started to steer Hotch toward the doors and looked back at the rest of the team. "That wasn't Demitri. Run facial recognition and analyze every inch of that damn video! Get Cameron and Chuck on it, too. I want everyone working on that damn thing!"

They were all just as shocked at Rossi's anger as they had been at Hotch's, but they all nodded and quickly dispersed to do Rossi's bidding.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Hotch never said a word on the way to the ER and both Morgan and Rossi were worried. The nurse took Hotch back immediately to get him stitched up, but sent the guys a strange look at Hotch's behavior.

After about thirty minutes, Hotch came out. Rossi didn't like the fact that Hotch looked even paler. "Come on, let's get you home," Rossi told him as he steered him toward the exit.

Hotch stopped dead in his tracks and gave Rossi a frightened look. "No," is all he said as he shook his head violently.

Rossi shot Morgan a look. "Alright. How about we go to my house?"

Hotch didn't say anything, but he headed toward the exit again.

Rossi sat in the back with Hotch because he wanted to keep a close eye on him, but Hotch just sat there like a statue. Morgan pulled into Rossi's driveway and Hotch jumped out and headed for the house before Rossi could even get out of the SUV. "Does he have his pistol on him?" Morgan asked as he watched Hotch walk up the sidewalk.

Rossi gave him a horrified look. "No, but he wouldn't do that."

"I'm not talking about him committing suicide; I think he's gonna run off and try to find Kahlan alone."

"I don't think he's in any shape to do anything right now, but I'll keep a close eye on him. Have someone bring me my car when you get a chance, and make sure no one calls him with anything that doesn't come through me first."

Morgan nodded and headed back to the BAU.

Rossi realized Hotch had used his key and let himself into the house. He found him at the liquor cabinet downing a glass of scotch. "Aaron? You ok?"

Hotch shook his head violently again as he filled the glass and downed it again.

"You need to take it easy on that or you're gonna make yourself sick."

Hotch shook his head again. "I can't."

"You can't, what?"

"I can't deal with this." Hotch told him still shaking his head.

"Come sit down," Rossi told him as he tried to pull Hotch away from the cabinet. Hotch let him led him to the closest chair, but he was still shaking his head.

"I can't. . . The kids. . . I can't," Hotch told him as his breathing became rapid.

"Aaron, calm down."

Hotch just kept shaking his head. "Why didn't I listen to you? Why did I watch it? I can't. . ." Hotch leaned his head down and put his hands in his hair, and he still shook his head. "I can't the images out of my head!"

Rossi tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He had a feeling Hotch was really going to break this time, and it was scaring the shit out of him. "You know she's still alive, Aaron."

Hotch shook his head harder. "I can't take this, Dave! How can I ever face the kids again? I can't. . ."

"Aaron, just stop!" Rossi yelled at him to try to get through to him.

Hotch wasn't having any of it, though. "I can't. . . He. . ."

Rossi went ahead and filled Hotch another glass of scotch. _A drunk Hotch is better than a lost or crazy Hotch._ He handed Hotch the glass and Hotch drank it down in one gulp. "It's going to be alright."

"I can't get past what that bastard. . ."

Rossi grabbed the bottle of scotch and filled Hotch's glass again. "She'll get past this."

Hotch down the amber liquid and Rossi could tell he was starting to calm down a little. "I. . . How can I ever forgive myself for letting her do this?"

Rossi filled his glass again and pushed the glass toward Hotch's face. Hotch swallowed it down. Rossi knew there was no talking to him with the state he was in.

"She gave herself up to protect me. I'd rather be dead than know what I know now!" Rossi filled his glass again. Hotch drank it and Rossi noticed Hotch's movements getting a little slow. "She's never gonna forgive me! The kids will hate me!"

Rossi filled his glass again, and he was glad Hotch was in street clothes so he didn't have to worry about trying to get a suit off him. Rossi let him down the drink again and then took the glass from him; he figured it was time to try to get him up the stairs toward the guestroom. "Come on," Rossi said as he tried to get Hotch to stand.

Hotch gave him a look that broke Rossi's heart even more. "She's gonna hate me, Dave."

Rossi pushed him toward the stairs. "No she's not, Aaron."

"How can she not? I let her down. I couldn't. . ." Hotch stumbled on the first stair and Rossi had to fight to keep him upright.

"Just go upstairs, Aaron. Everything will look better tomorrow."

Hotch turned to him. "I can't. . . I gotta get the booyyzz," Hotch slurred.

"No you don't, they're fine," Rossi couldn't tell him that it would be hours before they even got out of school. "Come on."

"Oookay," Hotch told him, and Rossi realized that Hotch probably hadn't eaten anything for breakfast with as fast as he was getting drunk.

Rossi finally got him to the top of the stairs and steered him to the guestroom. Hotch stumbled in the hall and Rossi prayed he didn't fall down because he wasn't sure he'd be able to get him back up. _He probably didn't eat last night either._

Hotch tried to open the door but he kept missing the handle, so Rossi leaned him up against the wall and opened the door. Hotch stumbled toward the bed and flopped down on it, face down. Rossi pulled Hotch's shoes off and threw a blanket over him. "I don't wan live witho her, Dav," Hotch mumbled into the pillow he fell on.

Rossi teared up as he pulled the pillow away from Hotch so he wouldn't smother himself. He heard Hotch start to cry. "It'll be okay, Aaron." Rossi told him as he sat down beside him and rubbed circles on his back.

"I mis her sooo mush!"

"I know, Aaron. You sleep. I promise we will find her." Rossi didn't have a problem promising it because he truly thought they would, that and he didn't think Hotch would remember it anyway. Hotch's ragged sobs were breaking his heart. "Come on, Aaron. You need to try and calm down," he told him as he felt tears trailing down his own cheeks. He rubbed Hotch's back until he was sure he was out and quietly left the room to check up on the team and call Jessica.

XXX

Rossi didn't hear Hotch moving around until the next morning. He went up to check on him, but Hotch was lying face down on the bed again by the time Rossi got there. "Aaron?"

"Go away."

"No, Aaron. I need to know how you're doing."

"I'm not, so just go away."

Rossi walked in and sat down on the bed next to him. "How's your head?"

"Pounding, so please be quiet and go away."

"You should get up and eat something."

"No."

"Aaron, please look at me."

Hotch turned his head just enough to look at Rossi out of the corner of one eye.

"All the way."

Hotch turned his head back into the mattress. "No."

"You scared me yesterday. I need to know you're ok." Rossi told him as he put his hand on the back of Hotch's head and stoked his hair. "Please, look at me." Hotch shook his head and Rossi could tell he was crying again. "Oh, Aaron. I am so sorry. I know you're hurting, but you can't keep it in. Talk to me, please."

Hotch shook head. "I can't"

_Not that again!_ "You gonna hide out in here forever?"

"Yes."

"I'll give you a little more time, but you need to come down soon," Rossi told him and got up and left the room.

XXX

By five that evening, Rossi was getting really worried. Hotch had never spent that much time wallowing. Rossi understood it, but it still scared him to think that Hotch had fallen off the edge of the ledge he had been precariously balancing on since the whole mess with Kahlan had started. Everyone had called to check on Hotch, but all Rossi could tell them was that he was not ready to deal with anything yet.

He lied to the kids and said they got a case once he corroborated with Jessica and the team, so he knew the kids wouldn't be expecting him home, but they would be expecting a call from him that evening. Jessica had lied for him that morning when she told them that Hotch had called the night before but after they were in bed. She told Rossi that she thought the boys knew something was wrong, but they didn't press her.

With a sigh, Rossi went back upstairs to see Hotch. Hotch hadn't moved from the position he was in earlier and Rossi couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. He went and sat down next to him and put a hand on Hotch's back. "You awake?"

"No."

Rossi smiled. "Aaron, you need to get up."

"No."

"The kids. . ."

As soon as he said it Hotch flinched. "Don't."

"Don't, what?"

"Please don't. Just leave me be, Dave."

Rossi noticed the edge in Hotch's voice. "I can't. I care about you too much."

"Please."

"Aaron, look at me," Rossi told him a little more forcibly.

Hotch grabbed the blanket by his head and pulled it up around his head so Rossi couldn't see any of his face.

Rossi sighed. "You at least need to drink something. I'll go get you some water," Rossi told him and walked to the bathroom to get him a glass. He brought it back and put it on the night stand. "That better be gone by the time I come back up here."

Hotch huffed into the blanket.

Rossi shook his head and headed back downstairs.

Chuck called him about an hour later. He had seen the video and Rossi could tell he was extremely pissed. Even though the video ended soon after Hotch had Garcia stop it, they all knew what the man had done. "So do you know who that guy is?"

"No. He's got to be local help or someone Demitri picked up along the way. How's Hotch doing?"

"He's not."

"What?"

"He won't get out of bed. Were you all able to discern any clues from the video?"

"None. You guys?"

"None."

"Well this fucking sucks!"

"Yep."

"What do you mean he won't get out of bed? I would have thought he's be pissed about this."

"He was." Rossi chuckled. "He was actually pretty scary, but then he. . . I don't know. It's like he's given up hope or something."

"Damn. You can't let him do that. Kahlan needs us to find her more now than ever."

"I know, but I just don't know how."

"And that's what's bothering him the most."

"Yeah. If we had a plan of action; somewhere to look, I think he'd be raring to go."

"Well, keep an eye on him. I'll keep looking. Cam is still looking through satellites, and I have every person I know looking. We're bound to catch a break soon."

"God I hope so. I'm not sure how much more Hotch can take, if he isn't too far gone as it is."

"I can't even imagine how he feels. I love Kay like a sister, and I want to rip that man apart piece by piece."

"I don't think there will be anything left for you to rip apart if Hotch finds him first."

"I can live with that. Maybe we should get him out on the road. Maybe actually doing something would help."

"No, Hotch needs a target and a plan. He's not one to just go blindly searching."

"Well, keep me posted, and tell Hotch to try to keep his chin up."

"I will. Thanks, Chuck."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Rossi went back up to check on Hotch at nine. The water was still on the nightstand and Hotch was still in the same position, but Rossi thought Hotch was actually asleep. As he stood there and watched him, Hotch started tossing and turning. _Shit! Not another nightmare!_ Hotch mumbled something and Rossi sat down next to him and rubbed his back. Hotch started to calm down with his touch. _I know they say you don't give anyone anything they can't handle, God, but I think you might be pushing it with this one. He's been through enough! Please let him get through this. Please God! You know I love him like a son, and I can't handle seeing him this broken. If I've done anything in this life to earn your love, please help him through this._ Rossi prayed as a tear fell down his cheek. "Come on, Aaron, you can beat this," Rossi whispered as he leaned down and gave him a kiss on the head and left him to sleep.

XXX

Rossi heard his bedroom door open and he looked at his alarm clock: 4:23. He sat up quickly and saw Hotch standing in his doorway. "Aaron?" Rossi asked frantically as he scrambled out of bed.

Before he could even get close to him, Rossi could hear him sucking in air as he gasped in between sobs. "Jesus Christ, Aaron, what is it?" Rossi asked as he flipped on his light to look at Hotch.

Hotch's face was red and his eyes were swollen from crying so much. Rossi led him to his bed and pushed him down into a sitting position. The frightened look on Hotch's face made Rossi's eyes tear up instantly. "What?" Rossi pleaded. "I can't help, if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Hotch tried to tell him something, but his irregular breathing wouldn't let him form words.

A horrible thought suddenly hit Rossi. "Oh my God! No!" Rossi said as he knelt down in front of him. Hotch shrugged as he struggled to breathe. Rossi stood up and forced Hotch's head down between his knees. "Try to take a deep breath, Aaron." Rossi rubbed Hotch's back. "There you go, a couple more times."

When Hotch's chest stopped heaving so violently, he sat up. His pleading eyes made Rossi pull him into a hug. "Calm down, Aaron. It's going to be okay." Rossi took a shuddering breath. "It's okay. It's okay." He kept repeating until Hotch had settled down enough that Rossi thought he could talk. He held him at arms-length. "Tell me."

Hotch swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. He licked his lips and then looked Rossi in the eyes. "I had a nightmare," Hotch started and then took a deep breath. "It woke me up, and as I was trying to tell myself that it was just a dream," Hotch closed his eyes and hung his head.

"It's gonna be okay," Rossi told him again, but he couldn't even make himself believe it.

Hotch shook his head. "I can't feel her anymore, Dave. She's gone."

Rossi's chest tightened as he knelt down in front of Hotch again. "You think she's dead?" Rossi asked him already knowing the answer.

"I have the big empty space in my chest. I can't feel her anymore."

"You've felt so much, did you feel her. . . Could you tell she. . ." Rossi couldn't bring himself to say it.

Hotch shook his head. "Nothing like that, but she's gone," Hotch repeated as he grabbed his chest and scrunched his shirt up in his hands.

Rossi took that as a positive sign, though, and he reached up and lifted Hotch's chin to make him look at him. "Maybe something else has happened. Maybe that's not the reason you can't feel her. You have to keep believing that's she's alive, Aaron." Rossi took a deep breath. "If he was going to kill her, you would have gotten a lot more than a note and a video."

Hotch considered his words. "But it can't be good."

"Probably not, but that doesn't mean she's dead. You have to keep telling yourself that she's alive, and we will find her." _This isn't the help I had in mind, God!_

Hotch swallowed and nodded weakly.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up and get you something to drink," Rossi said as he stood up and pulled Hotch into a standing position. Hotch nodded. "You go wash your face, and I'll go put on the coffee," Rossi told him as he steered him to the hallway. He watched as Hotch went into the bathroom and shut the door. He sighed heavily and headed downstairs. He put on the coffee and was glad to have a machine that made it almost instantly. Once it was done, he poured two cups. Right about when he was getting worried about Hotch not coming down, he heard Hotch on the stairs.

Hotch took the coffee with a small nod. He took a sip, decided it wasn't too hot, and took a bigger drink. It burned all the way down. _At least I can still feel something_.

Rossi led him to the table, and they sat down. Rossi silently let Hotch drink the cup down to give him time to recover. Once Hotch was done with it, Rossi got up to get him a refill.

"Aaron, I know you're hurting, but you need to pull yourself together for the kids."

"I know."

"Are you going home today?"

"After going to work."

"They're not expecting you at work. You can go home and get yourself together."

"No. I'll be fine. I presume we didn't get a case yesterday."

"No, but the kids think we did."

Hotch nodded his understanding. "I'm really sorry for losing it, Dave," Hotch told him as his face flushed with embarrassment.

"If anyone deserves to lose it, Aaron, it's you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm just really glad you're functioning right now," Rossi told him with a small smile.

"Functioning, yes. A hundred present, no."

"No one expects you to be at full capacity, but I think the boys suspect something's wrong. You need to be prepared when you see them."

Hotch looked at the cup in his hand. "While I was lying there last night, I realized that if I didn't get my act together, that the kids would be the ones to suffer. I was starting to straighten myself out, and I had every intension of going home last night, but I guess I fell asleep, and then. . ." Hotch took a deep breath.

Rossi put his hand on Hotch's arm. "You can't let yourself believe she's dead, Aaron."

"I know, but I'm really scared, Dave. The only other time I have felt this much fear is. . ." Hotch stopped as his eyes watered.

Rossi knew he was talking about the horrible day Foyet had gotten to Haley. "I know you're scared, and you have every right to be, but you have to convince yourself that Kahlan's alive or you're never going to be able to cope." Rossi patted his arm and then reached for his cup again.

"I'm trying, Dave. I really am. I was trying to convince myself that she's just on vacation and she'll be back, but after that video. . ."

"I know. It was hard for any of us to watch, and I can't even imagine how you feel, but we're all here for you, Aaron. You have to know that."

"I know, and I really do appreciate it, and I know I don't tell you all that enough." Hotch locked eyes with Rossi and Hotch's eyes started to water again. "I wouldn't know what to do without you, Dave."

Rossi smiled. "I'm just glad I can help. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to help with how you were acting. You scared me." Rossi gave him a small smile. "I don't think I could handle you breaking."

"I thought I was going to break, too, and it scared me, so don't feel bad." Hotch smiled. "Thank you for everything, Dave."

Rossi returned the smile. "Anything for my family."

XXX

Hotch noticed his go bag in the guestroom and he smiled weakly. After showering and changing, Hotch went into the BAU and spent the day catching up on paperwork, but he made it a point to be home before the boys got there. He was able to get ahold of his emotions and he told the boys that he had just had a bad day. They understood and they all spent the evening enjoying family time.

A week filled with two cases helped keep Hotch's mind occupied, but even though Hotch was keeping up a good front for the kids, Rossi knew he was starting to spiral downward again. No new leads or messages were compounding with the fact that Hotch couldn't sense Kahlan, and Rossi was afraid that Hotch was starting to allow himself to think that Kahlan was dead. Even though he would never admit it, Rossi was starting to feel the same way.

XXX

After a Saturday off with the kids, Hotch found himself on the jet with a case in Long Island. It wasn't a long flight, but the whole team didn't like Hotch's silence after the initial case briefing. Someone was kidnapping woman, keeping them for about a month, and dumping their battered bodies along the interstate. Three bodies had been found already, and another woman was missing. No one on the team mentioned the resemblance of the missing woman to Kahlan, and knowing the unsub was a sexual sadist made the case hit a little too close to home for the Unit Chief.

The whole team breathed a sigh of relief when they found the unsub two days later and saved the woman. Rossi almost teared up as the woman hugged Hotch to say 'thank you' for saving her. Hotch hugged her back, and Rossi prayed to God that Kahlan would be hugging Hotch soon, too.

**XXXXX**

A guard escorted Kahlan to her room. She had become very compliant, and he was relaxed as he followed the broken woman. Her mind was racing as she tried to figure out what she wanted to do. She had no idea what had happened to put her in the strange place, and she couldn't remember how long she had been there; but she was sure Chuck was looking for her. She knew they were messing with her mind, and it scared her more than she had ever been scared before. _I have to get him a message! He has to find me!_ She missed her son dearly, and she cried herself to sleep wondering where he was and who was taking care of him.

She stopped at the door that led to the room she knew to be hers. The only other people she had seen in the place were three armed guards, and she knew they carried dart guns. _They want me alive. Why? What could they possibly want from me? They haven't even asked me any questions!_ She never saw who was in charge and the guards never said a word, but she had come to like the silence. It seemed like noise made her jumpy, but she couldn't figure out why.

The guard made his way into the room with Kahlan and she smiled. As she walked into the room further, she stumbled and fell. As the man bent down to help her up, she pulled the gun from her hands. He wasn't expecting the move, and she relinquished him of the weapon and smashed the butt into his face in one fluid movement. As he fell to the floor, she quickly straddled his back and used the gun to choke him. "Where are we?"

"What?"

"City. State. Now, or you'll die a painful death after I rip out your throat!" She told him vehemently.

The man swallowed hard and answered her.

She thanked him, snapped his neck quickly, and let his body fall to the floor. She knew the guard down the hall would come looking for the now dead man, so she knew she had to hurry. She quickly searched him and found his cell phone. Watching the door, she prepared to send a text. Once she entered the number she glanced at the phone. _Who the hell's number is that?_ She shook her head and deleted the number she had put in without even looking at the phone. Cussing herself for messing up, she quickly typed in Chuck's number. _God, please let him have the same number! _She quickly typed in a coded message.

The door flew open, and she turned away from it quickly to finish the message. She was able to press the send button before she felt the darts hit her in the back, and she smiled as she slumped to the floor.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

On the jet on their way home, Rossi picked up his phone as it vibrated. His stomach flipped when he saw it was Chuck. _Why aren't you texting Hotch?_ He opened the message and read it under the edge of the table. Chuck wanted Kahlan's iPod. _What the hell? _ Rossi wasn't sure he could get it without asking Hotch for it, but he was more concerned with why Chuck wanted it. He quickly texted him back and asked him. Chuck responded within seconds. He had received a message a message from Kahlan, and he didn't want Hotch to know what it was until he was able to figure it out. _Thank God! She is alive! _Rossi told him to go to join him at Hotch's house that night, and Chuck told him he would see him there.

Rossi didn't like keeping anything from Hotch, but if Chuck was worried, then Rossi was worried, too, and his elation at knowing she was alive was starting to diminish quickly. He had thought about immediately telling Hotch and damn Chuck's concern, but his gut was telling him to wait. He knew Hotch deserved to know, but he just couldn't get past the fear that was starting to build in his chest. _Damn it! When is he going to catch a break?_

XXX

"Hey, Uncle Chuck," Wyatt said as Chuck walked in the front door.

Hotch looked at him quickly, but by the look on his face, he knew he didn't have any news. "Chuck," Hotch acknowledged him. "You staying for dinner?"

Chuck smiled. "You know me so well." Chuck walked into the dining room and joined Rossi and Joey at the table. She was coloring a picture of a cat. Chuck leaned down and gave Joey a kiss on the head. "Hey, Joey."

"Uncle Uck!" Joey turned around and gave him a hug. Chuck chuckled. He knew she could say his name right; she just chose to call him by the horrible nickname, and he knew it was because the boys loved teasing him about it.

He sat down and noticed Kahlan's iPod sitting in the center of the table. He glanced at Rossi. Rossi put his arm on the back of Joey's chair. "Hey, Bella. Why don't you take Daddy outside and make him push you on the swing?"

"Yeah!" she yelled and jumped down to go find her father.

Within moments, both men smiled as they watched the three year old pull Hotch out the back door. As soon as the door shut, Chuck grabbed the iPod. Rossi scooted closer to him. "You know he'll kill us when he finds out," Rossi told him.

"Yeah, but why did she send me the message this time? If she wanted him to see it, then she would have sent it to him."

"What does it say?"

"'My list' and five numbers and then some messed up line that I think I might have translated wrong." Chuck told him as he found the first song. He looked at the song title and looked at Rossi. "I got a really bad feeling about this."

Rossi looked at the title and tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. "Me, too, but I don't know that song, so you have to play it."

Chuck nodded and as they listened, their fears doubled. Rossi reached up and paused the song. His eyes were tearing up. "What's the next one?"

Chuck brought it up and let Rossi see it. Rossi shrugged, and Chuck touched play. They listened to it for a minute and Rossi shook his head. "Is that song meant towards you or Aaron?" Chuck's look told Rossi that he wasn't sure. "Next?"

Chuck found it and showed it to him. Rossi's brows furrowed and he shook his head to let him know he didn't know that one either. Chuck took a deep breath and touched the play button.

"Oh my God! Is that saying what I think it's saying?" Rossi asked as his eyes went wide.

Chuck quickly touched the pause button. "I. . . God, I hope not." He shook his head. "There's two more," he told Rossi as he searched and found the next song. He brought it up and went ahead and touched the play button. Rossi's look of disgust made him pause the song before the second line was even sung. "See why I wanted to check it out first?

Rossi nodded. "Yeah, but we can't keep this from him. This is the first contact in over a month. He has a right to know."

"This last one is weird," Chuck told him and showed him the song. Rossi confused look told Chuck that he agreed on the weirdness. Chuck looked at him pleadingly. "Can't I just lie about the message and not tell him about the songs?"

Rossi considered it a moment, but shook his head. "No. They might mean something else to him."

"But she sent it to me. Why would she do that, when she knows he has her iPod?"

"By the sounds of those songs, I'd say she's not really thinking straight."

"You think she could have gotten the numbers wrong?" Rossi's look told him he wasn't sure. "This is going to kill him."

"I know, but he needs to know. We'll wait until the kids are in bed. We just need to be there for him when he falls."

"And that's why I wanted his Papa Rossi here with me," Chuck told him with a smile.

Rossi couldn't help but smile back, but his insides were twisted into knots over what he thought the songs meant. He just hoped he could make it through the night without giving off too much worry.

They got up and went outside to play with the kids.

XXX

About thirty minutes after the boys went to bed, and Hotch was sure they were asleep he fixed Chuck with a look. "Out with it."

"Huh?" Chuck asked trying to act innocent.

"You two are hiding something." Hotch told him and then looked at Rossi.

"We're not hiding anything. We were just waiting for the kids to go to bed," Rossi told him.

"What?" Hotch asked him, his chest tightening.

"Kahlan sent me a message sort of like the one she sent you," Chuck told him and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Oh thank God! She's still alive!" He proclaimed with a smile. "You were right, Dave!" Hotch exclaimed excitedly, but as he studied the two men in front of him, and his chest tightened again. "Wait. . . Why would she send it to you? Garcia could have traced it. . ."

"Cam did, but it's a burn phone," Chuck told him quickly, and Hotch could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"You need to sit down, Aaron," Rossi told him and Hotch knew it was bad if Rossi used his first name and told him to sit down.

Hotch swallowed hard and nodded as he sat on the couch and looked at them. They could see the fear already in his eyes. "It's more songs isn't it?" Rossi nodded and took Kahlan's iPod out of his pocket. "Just do it," Hotch urged him.

Rossi handed Chuck the iPod and sat down in the chair opposite Hotch. Hotch's eyes were already tearing up.

"The first one is 'Broken' by Lifehouse," Chuck started and Hotch shook his head to let him know he didn't know the song. Chuck touched the play button. Hotch tilted his head as he listened to it intently. His brows furrowed and his breathing hitched within thirty seconds. _She's waiting. . . She's has doubts? Jesus, she doesn't think we're even looking for her! _His eyes pricked and burned as he tried to keep back the tears. _She's holding on? My God! _Finally he squeezed his eyes shut and put his head in his hand. _Inside her head?_ _She's an open book? Christ! What's he doing to her? Oh God, Kahlan!_ After listening to it a little more he furrowed his brows. Towards the end of the song, he looked up quickly. "Did that just say 'I've forgotten my way home?" he asked desperately.

Chuck paused the song. "I think it said 'I haven't forgotten'."

Hotch shook his head. "Play the next one," he told him weakly.

Chuck shot Rossi a look. Rossi nodded, so he went to the next song. "It's 'Bring Me To Life', by Evanessence." Hotch shrugged to let him know he didn't know it either. Chuck touched play and watched Hotch.

Hotch didn't think another song could bother him as much as the first one, but he found out he was wrong as he listened to the new one. _Her spirit's gone? Lead it back home?_ _Oh God!_ Hotch's breathing started to become ragged and Rossi wanted to stop the song to help stop Hotch's suffering, but he knew he couldn't. _Save me? She can't wake up? What the hell! God, he's broke her and she knows it! Why God? Why is he doing this to her? _Hotch jumped up off the couch and walked towards the French doors to his backyard as he listened to the song further. _Don't let me die here? Oh, Babe! I'd give anything to find you! God! Please let me find her! _Hotch put his hand on the wall next to the door to support himself. _You haven't become a nothing, Babe!_ Once the song ended and a new one didn't start, he turned to face Chuck. He tried to get his breathing under control as walked back to the couch and sat down. "Go ahead."

"It's 'Disturbia' by Rihanna," he told Hotch and touched play.

Hotch looked at him with confusion. His brows furrowed and his eyes darted around as he tried to figure out what the song meant. _Going crazy? What the hell? _Hotch looked at Rossi. _Going insane? Oh my God!_ He put his elbows on his knees and rested his head on his hands. After a few more seconds, he yelled, "Turn it off!" and Chuck stopped it. Hotch rubbed a hand across the back of his neck and took a couple of deep breaths. "Is there any more?" He asked without looking up.

"Two more. First is 'How Far is Heaven' by Los Lonely Boys," he told him and touched play. He had his finger ready to stop it in case Hotch reacted the same way as Rossi had.

The long intro lulled Hotch into a false sense that the song couldn't be as bad as the others. As soon as the first line was sung, though, he took in a ragged breath and Rossi thought it sounded like he was going to get sick. "Please stop it!" Hotch yelled again as struggled to breathe. "Oh my God! She's begging us to save her!" He ran his hands through his hair and actually pulled on it at the top of his head as he leaned down. "And he's torturing her, and torturing her mind, right?" Hotch asked them. When they didn't answer he looked at them. Tears were flowing from his eyes. "That's what you get out them, isn't it?"

Rossi wiped his own tears away. "Aaron, we don't know what they mean for sure."

Hotch's started sucking in air at ragged intervals and Rossi knew he was trying to stop himself from completely breaking. "But it's. . . what. . . you think?"

Rossi put his hands on Hotch's knees. "God, Aaron. I'm so sorry."

Hotch let his head fall into his hands again. He knew what Rossi's opinion was and it made it even harder for him to breathe. The way Hotch's body was convulsing, Rossi thought he was trying to get sick. _I can't lose it again! Kahlan needs me to be strong!_ After a few moments he got his breathing under control, and he stood up and wiped his face. "Was there anything else?" he asked Chuck.

"There's another song, but it doesn't match the others at all." Hotch's look told him to tell him. Chuck's brow furrowed. "It's 'Kokomo' by The Beach Boys."

"What?" Hotch knew that song. "Why would she have sent that one?"

"Maybe she got a number wrong," Rossi suggested as he looked at Hotch.

Hotch knew what he was implying. If Kahlan's mind was being tortured, she could have very easily gotten something mixed up. _Hell, maybe all the songs are wrong._ Hotch shook his head, he knew they weren't, though, and it scared the hell out of him. "What else was there?"

"There was another line, but I think I might have decoded it wrong, or . . ."

"Or she is so messed up, she sent something that didn't make sense," Hotch finished his thought for him. Chuck nodded weakly. "What do you think it says?"

"It's not the years, it's the mileage."

Rossi looked at him. Hotch could tell Rossi didn't think the message made any sense either, but Hotch knew it did. "I. . . I've heard that before," he told them with a faraway quality in his voice.

"What? Where?" Rossi asked him quickly.

"I'm not sure. . ." Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "It's from a movie. I think." He walked toward the tv. His hand cupped his chin as he stared at the blank screen, trying to picture the movie in his mind. He closed his eyes again and his fisted hand bounced on his lips. Rossi and Chuck watched him silently so that he could think. He turned to them. "Harrison Ford."

Rossi looked at him with small smile. He knew Hotch could figure it out. "Ok, but which one of his movies?"

Hotch held up a hand, but then let it run through his hair and looked back to the tv. "Indiana Jones, right? Where he has the whip?"

"Yeah, but there are four of them," Chuck told him. He couldn't hide the excitement he was feeling after finally getting a clue that they could use from Kahlan. _Well, maybe clue._

Rossi took out his phone and called Garcia. She was already at home, but he figured she didn't need her computers to help them with this. "Hey kitten, got a movie question for you."

"Oh, I love movies. Shoot," she told him from the phone.

"Kahlan loves Harrison Ford," Hotch started.

"What woman doesn't? This should be easy. . ."

"Indiana Jones, which movie has him on a boat and he says the line 'it's not the years, it's the mileage?" Hotch asked her.

"Love that line. It's from the first one, 'Raiders of the Lost Ark', why did you need to know?" she asked them.

"Because Kahlan sent another message and she had that line in it. I knew I had heard it, but I couldn't remember what movie it was from," Hotch explained.

"Oh my God, that's great! What does it mean?" Garcia asked him quickly.

Hotch's shoulder's slumped a little. "I don't know yet."

"You want me to call everyone and see if we can figure it out together?"

"Yes," Rossi told her before Hotch even had a chance to think of an answer.

They heard her click off the line and within moments they heard all of the team answering their phones. "Boss man needs our help to figure out a message from Kahlan," she told all of them and they quieted to let Hotch speak.

Hotch looked at Rossi, and Rossi could tell he couldn't tell them about the songs. Rossi patted his shoulder and went ahead and told the team about the songs that had been in the message. He could hear different levels of fear and disbelief from each of them who knew the songs, and he was sure they would all be looking up any song they weren't familiar with as soon as the call was ended. He finished with telling them about the line from the Ford movie.

"They were on a transport freighter going back to the US. Do you think he could have her out of the sates?" Garcia asked.

"He could even be holding her on a boat," JJ mused.

"It has to be a clue to help us find her," Hotch told them. _It has to be!_

"It could mean a lot of things," Morgan told them.

"Are we looking at this the wrong way?" Reid asked them.

Hotch looked at the phone as if he could actually see Reid and his analytical brain working. "What do you mean?"

"What is Kahlan always saying when someone is trying to figure something out?" He paused to see if anyone would answer. "Well, she tells me it all the time, and the kids, too."

"Reid!" Hotch yelled; he wasn't in the mood for any rambling.

"Oh sorry. It's just she always says to stop over analyzing things. Maybe we shouldn't be trying to read into this so much."

Hotch smiled, Kahlan was always telling the boys to stop thinking so hard when she helped them with their homework. She had also told him the same thing when he was struggling with a case. "Could it be that simple?"

"What?" Rossi asked before anyone else could.

"Indiana Jones." Hotch told him like he didn't already know. Rossi's confused look made another small smile appear on Hotch's face. "Indiana. Could she be in Indiana?"

"That has to be it!" Reid agreed.

Rossi smiled at the simplicity of the clue. It was totally Kahlan. "What else could it be?"

"Indiana is still a big place," Blake pointed out.

"But it's small compared to not knowing at all!" JJ told her.

"Ahhhh guys," Garcia started.

"What?" Hotch asked frantically.

"Well, I'm no music genius or anything, but that last song didn't seem to fit the rest, right?"

"We think there might have been a mistake in the number," Chuck told her.

"I don't think Kahlan would make a mistake like that, but I don't know the songs to know how they don't fit," Reid pointed out.

"What are you thinking Garcia?" Hotch urged her on.

"Well, I'm on my laptop, and I think Kahlan definitely wanted that song right before the Indiana Jones' line."

Morgan was getting as frustrated as Hotch was. "Just tell us, Baby Girl."

"Oh, sorry. There's a Kokomo, Indiana."

"What?" Hotch asked flabbergasted. _Finally! _ Hotch thought. _I finally have someplace to focus on! Thank you, Babe! I know it's getting rough, but I'm coming. Please, God, let her know I'm coming!_ Hotch looked at Chuck. "You need to get Cameron on this."

Chuck already had his phone in his hand. He nodded and smiled. He liked having a target, too.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"She had his phone. I think she sent a message, but I can't read it," Tony told Demitri as he handed him the phone.

"It has to be some code she knows. At least it can't be traced. Still, though, we better move up and go ahead and start phase two."

"Alright. It'll be easy to do with her being drugged. You're sure about this?"

"Oh yeah," Demitri said with an evil smile.

Tony nodded and headed to talk to Kahlan's guards.

**XXXXX**

Hotch got on Kahlan's laptop and quickly looked up Kokomo, Indiana. His excitement level took a downward turn when he realized how big the town was. _Of course it couldn't be some small town!_ It was actually a decent sized small city. _Damn it!_

Rossi went up behind him and looked at the screen. "Garcia's already running her checks for anything in Mordecai's name."

"There probably won't be any. That's why he took her there. It's just like Chuck said in the beginning; somewhere new where no one would know him," Hotch told him.

Rossi could hear the disappointment in Hotch's voice. "We could head out there first thing tomorrow. I can talk to the director."

"This isn't even an official case, Dave. How can the whole team take the jet out there?"

"Are you planning on going alone?" Rossi asked as he studied Hotch's face.

"If I have to take the time off to do this, then yes."

"Bob's already said we can use the team once we had a target. We just can't go in there on official business, but you can have the team, and we can use the jet."

Hotch looked at Rossi. He should have known Dave had already crossed that bridge with the director. "We still need to narrow it down as much as possible, first."

Rossi looked disappointed. "Aaron. . ."

"I'm not saying don't go, Dave. Hell, if I have to break down every damn door in Kokomo, I will. I just think we need to take a day or so and see if Cameron or Garcia can find us anything, so we don't have to waste so much time once we get there. We don't want Mordecai to know we've found him by running around and giving him a chance of seeing us before we see him."

Rossi nodded. "Alright, but you're not doing this alone, Aaron. We are all going to help you."

Hotch nodded as he shut the laptop. He stood up and actually smiled. "I'm going to find her."

"Yes you are," Rossi agreed.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan came to and realized she was sort of standing up in the middle of a room she hadn't seen before. She tried to not let anyone know she was awake and took stock of her situation. Two guards were in the room with her, her hands were chained to the ceiling, and her feet just barely touched the floor. The pain in her shoulders told her that she had been hanging in the position for a while. A cough escaped her, and the guards jumped to their feet. She knew they knew she was awake. _Fucking cold!_

"It's about time you wake up," one of the men told her as he walked up to her.

She raised her head and looked him in the eyes. His look told her she was in trouble. _Ah, fuck it!_ _What are they gonna do, kill me? _She thought with a smile and kicked the man in the face.

His stumbled back a few steps and screamed as his hands went to his bloody nose. "You fucking bitch! You're gonna pay for that!"

"Sorry, but I left my billfold at home. Would you take an IOU?" He snarled and slammed his fist into her stomach. The air gushed out of her and she tried to get past the pain and refill her lungs. Once she could breathe again, she smiled at him. "I take that as a no."

He backhanded her across the face. She could feel blood running down her cheek as her eye twitched at the pain. He smiled at the results of the hit. "What? Nothing smart to say now?"

"No, I'm afraid it would be lost on your ignorance," she told him with another smile. He punched her in the face and the force of the blow actually made her neck hurt. She tried to breathe past the pain. "You must really feel like a big man beating on a woman."

"You deserve everything you get for killing Max," he told her and punched her in the stomach again.

She anticipated the blow and was able to keep the air in her lungs. "Oh, was he a friend of yours?" Suddenly she felt a blow to her back. A small scream escaped her because she wasn't expecting for both of the men to beat her at the same time. She craned her head around as far as she could, and the man behind her was smiling as he held a telescoping baton. "Wow, you're even braver than he is. You can't even face me."

"Keep it up," he man behind her said and struck her again across the shoulder blades.

"Son of a bitch!" She said and tried to kick him. He hit her leg with the baton and the man in front of her punched her in the face again. He kept hitting her on the right side of her face, and it hurt so bad that she thought that he might have fractured her cheek bone. _Damn! Maybe they don't want me alive!_

The two men then started taking turns hitting her. Within minutes she was hanging by her arms because her legs didn't have the strength to support her anymore.

**XXXXX**

The next morning, Hotch woke the boys so they could get ready for school. Joey was still asleep in his bed. Wyatt was the first to notice that something had happened. "What?" Wyatt asked him as he paused in eating his cereal.

Hotch looked at him over his coffee cup. "What?"

Jack looked between the two. "Something's different. What happened?"

Hotch put his cup down, took a deep breath, and looked at the two young men. "We think we got a lead, but I don't want you two to get too excited yet."

"But a lead is awesome compared to no leads!" Wyatt exclaimed excitedly.

Hotch gave him a small smile. "I know, and as soon as Aunt Penny and Uncle Cam search through some things, we'll be going to check it out."

"When?" Jack asked just as excited as Wyatt.

"Hopefully tomorrow."

"Oh my God! Where? How do you know? How long will it take?" Wyatt asked desperately.

"Calm down, Wyatt. That's why I didn't want to say anything. If you guys get your hopes up and it turns out to be a dead end, then you're going to be mad," Hotch told them.

"No we won't," Jack assured him.

"If we don't have hope, what do we have?" Wyatt asked.

"I'm not saying to not have hope. I just. . . I don't know. . ."

"Dad, it's fine. We know you guys are doing your best. If it turns out to not lead to mom, then we know you'll keep looking," Jack told him confidently.

Hotch smiled at him. "I wish I could be as sure as you guys."

"We know you'll find her, Dad. We just want it to be sooner rather than later," Wyatt told him with a smile.

"You and me both," Hotch told him. "I don't want you saying anything to Joey, though."

"We won't. She wouldn't understand you going to find mom and then you not coming home with her if it doesn't pan out," Jack agreed.

Hotch nodded and then turned serious. "I don't want to scare you guys, but Mom might be. . ." Hotch wanted to warn them about what may be happening to Kahlan, but he couldn't get his words to come out.

Wyatt put his hand on Hotch's arm. "I understand what you're trying to say, Dad."

Hotch looked at him and nodded. Wyatt definitely would understand after the horrors he went through on that ranch, but he wasn't sure about Jack. Jack gave him a look that told him he understood, too. "We'll be fine, Dad."

"Whatever has happened, mom will get through it. We'll help her," Wyatt told him seriously.

Hotch swallowed hard. "I know. You guys have been amazing through all of this."

"That's because we have awesome parents," Wyatt told him with a smile.

Hotch smiled back at him. "Yes, yes you do," he told them what he thought Kahlan would say.

**XXXXX**

Another blow to the stomach and Kahlan felt on the verge of passing out. Suddenly the door to the room flew open and a dark haired man rushed in with a pistol in his hand. Kahlan watched as the stunned guards turned on the man. Two quick shots and the guards were dead. The man ran up to her. "Jesus Christ!" He yelled as he took in her condition. Kahlan tried to say something but he shushed her. "Shhhhh. You're safe now," he told her and reached up to undo one of her hands. As soon as her other hand was free, too, Kahlan slumped against him. He smiled sadly as he looked at her and the darkness closed in on her.

XXX

Kahlan awoke to find herself lying on a bed. As soon as she realized her hands weren't bound she made to get up. "Be still. You aren't in any shape to get up yet." She heard a man tell her as she felt arms holding down her shoulders. She finally opened her left eye; her right one was swollen shut. She looked toward the voice, but she couldn't focus her vision enough to get a good look at him. She could tell he had dark hair, and she thought it was the same man who had saved her from the beating she was getting, but she couldn't be sure. She relaxed against the bed. The man reached up and stroked her hair back from her forehead. "Sleep now. You're safe," he told her tenderly. Her eye slowly shut again, and she let herself drift off once more.

XXX

Kahlan woke to find the same man sitting next to her. She looked at him and he smiled. "Hey there," he told her as he stood up.

"Where am I?" She asked hoarsely.

He grabbed a cup from off the table beside the bed. "Here," he told her as he held her head up with one hand and move the cup to her lips.

She took a long drink, and nodded her thanks as he let her head rest again on the pillow. She raised her brows and looked at him still waiting for an answer to her question.

He smiled. "A safe house. You're going to be ok."

She looked around the room and realized she was in a bedroom. She coughed and held an arm to her stomach; she realized her beating had bruised some of her ribs. She stared at the man beside her. She thought she should know him, but she wasn't sure. She didn't know what he wanted from her, so she decided not to let on about her not knowing him. "What happened? Why was I there?"

He lost his smile. "I don't know. You left to go after him and then you disappeared."

His look of concern made her relax a little. She got the impression he cared for her. "How long?"

"How long were you gone?" She nodded. "Over a month," he told her sadly.

She winced. She had no idea it had been that long. She took a deep breath and shivered. "Why is it so cold in here?"

He looked at her questioningly. "You think it's cold?"


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Hotch froze when he saw Cameron and Chuck walk through the glass doors to the bullpen. He had been right in the middle of a sentence, and when he stopped, Rossi turned to see what had caught Hotch's attention. Rossi's breath hitched in his chest. _Please let this be good news!_

Hotch quickly walked up to the two men. Chuck's smile made Hotch's heart leap with hope. "What?"

"We found him," Cameron said as he handed him a file folder.

Hotch quickly grabbed it and looked at several satellite photos. The last one was zeroed in on a van and Demitri was standing beside it with another man Hotch hadn't seen before. The rest of the team had gathered around and were looking at the photos, too.

"That's awesome, man!" Morgan exclaimed as he clasped Cameron on the back.

"When are we leaving?" JJ asked excitedly.

Rossi looked at his watch; it was almost seven. "We could leave now, and be in place to go at first light," he suggested.

Hotch looked at Cameron. "You know where he is holding her?"

Chuck reached for the photos and picked out one that showed a massive building with the van parked behind it. "We've caught him coming and going from here," he told him as he handed the picture back to Hotch.

Hotch looked at the massive building as he bit his lower lip. The mangled remains of the building in Baltimore came into his mind.

"Don't worry. I've got a couple demolition buddies waiting for the go ahead and they'll meet us there," Chuck told him with a smile as if he could read Hotch's thoughts.

Hotch nodded. They all silently waited for him to make a decision. He took a deep breath. "I need to go home to tell the boys and get Jessica and Donna up to speed." He looked at his watch. "Wheels up at 8:30," he told them as he looked at all of them. They all nodded and disbursed except for Rossi, Chuck, and Cameron. Hotch looked at Cameron. "Are you going?" He actually realized he never knew if Cameron was a field agent or not.

"Actually, I was thinking about staying here with Pen. We can keep an eye on things while you all go and prepare," Cameron told him with a smile.

"Sounds good," he told them and looked at Rossi and Chuck. "I guess you two are going home with me?"

Their smiles told him they were. "Then let's go."

**XXXXX**

"If you think you're up for it, why don't you take a hot shower? I got you some fresh clothes," the man told Kahlan.

She nodded and sat up slowly. She turned to let her legs go over the side of the bed and stood up. She swayed a little and the man quickly grabbed her to steady her. "I just stood up too quickly. I'm fine," she told him and he let her go. She walked to the bathroom with him walking closely behind her. He seemed bent on making sure she was alright.

He jumped ahead of her and quickly opened the door for her. "I'll grab your stuff," he told her as he turned back to the room.

She watched him grab a backpack and quickly put it in the bathroom and withdrew so she could go in. She gave him a small smile, went in, shut the door, and smiled with she saw the lock on the door and used it. She turned on the water to let it get hot as she got undressed. She winced at her reflection in the mirror. Her face would scare most children, and the bruises, welts, and cuts all along her torso made her want to throw up. She realized suddenly that she had no idea when the last time she had eaten. _Damn! I would think I'd be hungry, but I'm not._

She felt the water and tried to adjust the faucet. It was warm to her touch, but she wanted it hot. _Oh well! A warm shower is better than no shower!_ She got in and let the water run over her body. The cuts on her stung a little, but she took a deep breath and tried to get her sore muscles to relax. She grabbed the shampoo and washed her hair and then washed her body gently to try not to aggravate her wounds. She sighed as she shut the water off. Even though it wasn't hot, it still felt good. She was tired again. _When am I going to stop being so tired?_

**XXXXX**

All of the kids were in the family room when Hotch and them got there. "Poppi!" Joey yelled as she jumped off the couch and ran and jumped into Rossi's arms.

Rossi laughed. "You do remember I was just here yesterday, right?" She giggled.

"You should go read her a story," Hotch suggested with a grin.

"Yeah! I wanna hear the story bout Camel Lot," she told him with a grin.

Rossi laughed again. "It's Camelot. One word," he told her as he carried her towards the stairs. He knew she loved stories about the middle ages.

Hotch watched as they walked up the stairs and then turned to Jessica and the boys.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Wyatt asked before Hotch could say anything.

Chuck's smile told him the answer.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Jack asked as he got up.

"I don't know," Hotch admitted.

"Take as long as you need. I talked with Donna and Sandi, we've got the kids covered," Jessica told him with a smile. They all knew that Hotch was getting close to hopefully finding Kahlan.

"Thank you. Not having to worry about these beasts will make my job easier," Hotch joked as he tasseled Jack's hair. "I've got to go get packed," Hotch told them and headed upstairs.

"You want a cup of coffee?" Jessica asked Chuck. He smiled and followed her into the kitchen.

Wyatt looked at Jack and they both ran for the stairs to go help Hotch.

Once Hotch had his extended go bag and a bag for Kahlan ready he hugged the boys and then turned to Joey. He smiled as he picked her up. She smiled back at him and her dimples showed. "Daddy's got a case, and I'll probably be gone a few days. You listen to your aunts and your brothers."

"I will," she told him with a sly smile. She leaned in and gave him a butterfly kiss on his cheek.

Hotch sat her down and took a deep breath. He looked at his kids and prayed to God that the next time he saw them that their mother would be with him. "Wish us luck," he told them and then headed for the door. They all did as the three men went to leave.

As soon as Hotch's hand touched the doorknob, he felt Joey run up and hug his legs. He looked down at her questioningly. "What's wrong Angel?" he asked her as he squatted down to look at her. She had never acted that way before. He could see tears in her eyes.

"Tell Mommy I love her," Joey told him as she wiped at her eyes.

Hotch looked at Rossi. Rossi's look of shock matched everyone else's. Hotch had no idea how his daughter knew what they were doing, but he didn't question her. "I will," he promised and gave her a hug.

Once he released her, she ran and put an arm around each of her brothers' legs. Hotch could tell they hadn't said anything either. He shook his head and went out the door. Chuck and Rossi followed close behind him. Rossi caught up with him and put his arm around Hotch's shoulder. "You know how you always said you were in trouble with Kahlan in the beginning?"

Hotch raised his brows as he looked at the man he thought of as a father. "Yeah?"

"Well, I think that was just a little glimpse of what it's going to be like with that one in there," Rossi told him with a smile and then got in the SUV.

Hotch looked back towards his house.

"Come on, let's go get Kahlan!" Chuck told him with a smile. Hotch nodded and got in the driver's seat.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan woke suddenly as felt something on her face. She quickly knocked it away and sat up. She winced at the pain the movement caused her ribs.

"It's just ice!" The man said quickly as he took a step back.

Kahlan took in the man and his bag of ice and settled back down. "It's not smart to startle someone like me."

He laughed nervously. "Sorry. I thought you were asleep."

"Not asleep enough apparently."

He held out the ice. "Do you want it? Your face looks like it could use it."

"Thanks. Just what a woman wants to hear," she told him sarcastically and took the ice.

He smiled sheepishly. "I didn't mean it that way." He shook his head. "I can't believe that bastard had that done to you," he told her and she could hear the anger in his voice.

Kahlan sat up completely and held the ice to the right side of her face. Even though she could finally open her right eye, the whole side of her face hurt. She studied the man in front of her. "I really don't remember what happened. The only thing I really remember is that last beating from those two guys. Thanks, by the way."

"I'm just sorry it took me so long to find you," he told her seriously.

She still couldn't figure out who the man was, but she knew she owed him for rescuing her.

He noticed her studying him and he shifted on his feet. "I. . . I brought you something to eat. It doesn't look like he was worried about feeding you," he told her as he turned around and grabbed a bag of the dresser. "Chicken still your favorite?"

She raised her brows at him. _He has to know me if he knows that._ "Yeah, but I'm not really hungry."

"You still need to eat or you're never going to regain your strength. Not eating has probably shrunk your stomach, so eat slowly," he instructed as he handed her the bag.

She but the ice down and took the bag. She stifled a cough and shivered. The little bit of warmth she had gotten from the warm shower was gone. She opened the bag and found a grilled chicken breast and mashed potatoes and gravy. She gave him a small smile as she took it out; they were still warm.

"Are you still cold?" He asked her as he pulled up a chair and sat down by the bed.

"Yeah," she said simply as she took a bite of the potatoes.

"Jesus, Kay, it's like seventy degrees in here. You must be sicker than I thought. You need to go to the hospital?"

_He knows my nickname._ Kahlan's look of horror answered him. "I'm fine." She took another bite of the potatoes. _Really? I'm fine? When the hell did I start saying that?_

He eyed her warily, got up and went back to the dresser. He pulled out a drink and walked over to give it to her.

She took it and gave him a confused look. "A nutrient shake? Aren't these for like kids and old people?"

"You need all the nutrients you can get. Shut up and drink it," he told her jokingly.

She shook her head, but opened it and took a drink. She studied him again. _Time to find out exactly what you know._

Before she had a chance to formulate a question, though, he stood up. "You don't remember me, do you?" He could tell by her face that she didn't. "Jesus, no wonder you're acting so squirrely. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize. . ."

"Damn, calm down."

He took a deep breath. "Alright. Sorry. I'm Tony. We've known each other for two years."

She choked on her bite of chicken but recovered quickly.

Her look of shock made him take a step back. "Jesus, what did he do to you to destroy your memories?" He asked sadly.

She hung her head. She had no idea. She sighed heavily and looked back at Tony. She got a strange thought. "We're not. . ." she asked him with a gesture with her hand.

He actually smiled. "No." He laughed a little. "Not for lack of trying on my part, but you always turned down any advances from me. You always said you'd never date someone you work with."

"So we do work together. What kind of work do we do?" She asked as she studied him some more.

He sat back down knowing she had relaxed a little. "We help those who need it when no one else can."

_Well, that explains a lot. _She mentally smiled at the answer because she knew it sounded just like something she would say. "Was it this work that got me into trouble?"

"No. After what he did, you just took off on your own to go after him. You were gone before I even realized you were thinking about going. I should have known you'd do it, but I just wasn't fast enough," he told her sadly.

"Alright, you've said 'he', 'him', and 'that bastard'. Who is 'he'? And why did I go after him?"

Tony's shoulders slumped. "You really don't remember anything, do you?"

"That's why I'm asking." He looked at the floor, and she knew he didn't want to tell her. Fear was starting to make her stomach hurt. "Please tell me."

He took a deep breath and finally looked at her. His eyes were watering as he shook his head. "I can't. I can't make you relive that, Kay."

Her stomach flipped and she wished she hadn't eaten; it was threatening to come back up. She stood up and walked over to him. "You have to tell me. I need to know," she told him as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Please, Tony," she pleaded.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Rossi watched Hotch as he sat in his usual seat in the back of the jet. Rossi could tell by the way Hotch's eyes were darting around that he was probably thinking a thousand different thoughts at once. He sighed and went to the galley. He slipped he secretly stashed bottle of scotch out of the cabinet and poured a glass half full. He stowed the bottle away and headed toward Hotch. By the time he got there. Hotch was faced toward the window, but Rossi knew he wasn't looking at the sky. Hotch was fidgeting with something in his left hand, and that bothered Rossi because Hotch never fidgeted. Rossi sat down and nudged Hotch's leg. Hotch startled to see anyone so close to him.

"Damn, wound up much?" Rossi asked him with a smile.

Hotch took a deep breath, licked his lips, and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and took another deep breath.

"Calm down, Aaron," Rossi told him as he handed him the cup.

Hotch took it and smiled as soon as he realized what was in it. He nodded his thanks and took a long sip. He let the liquor burn all the way down his throat. He breathed in a long deep breath and enjoyed the sensation in his chest. "Thanks, I needed that."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Everything. Finding him. Finding her. Not finding her. . ." He swallowed hard. "Finding her and. . ."

"Aaron, come on. This is our first real chance at finding her. Don't go into this with the worst possible outcome on your mind."

"I'm trying not to. I really am, but. . ."

"The message two days ago proves she's alive."

"Unless he got the code and this is just a trap," he told him solemnly as his left hand jingled.

Rossi noticed fear in Hotch's eyes. He reached and grabbed Hotch's left hand. He uncurled Hotch's fingers and found Kahlan's wedding rings in his palm. He gave Hotch a small smile and let his hand go. "What does your gut tell you?"

"It's not talking, and that scares me."

Rossi knew that whatever connection Hotch had felt to Kahlan hadn't come back since that awful night. "That's not the only thing bothering you, though."

Hotch took another sip of the scotch and pursed his lips. He looked up to make sure no one was really paying them any attention. The rest of the team and Chuck were playing some card game. He looked back at Rossi and sighed. He shook his head. "Nothing."

"Really? You think you're going to get away with that?"

"I want those son of a bitches so bad I can taste it, Dave. Maybe I shouldn't be going on the raid. I'm not exactly sure they deserve to be arrested."

Rossi nodded his understanding. He knew he was talking about Demitri and the man on the video. "You're worried you'll lose control and not be SSA Hotchner. You're worried that you'll just be Kahlan's husband and do something the agent in you will regret later."

"I wouldn't regret it," Hotch told him honestly. "But I don't think the team would like it."

"You're worried about what the team will think if you lose it on those bastards?" Hotch nodded. "Hotch, we all saw the video. Hell, I think the whole team wants a piece of them."

Hotch shook his head. "I thought I was worried about bringing Chuck along, but I think I'm more worried about myself."

"That just proves you're a good man, Aaron. If you weren't worried, I would be worried. You will do what needs to be done. Have faith in yourself, and have faith that you will find her, alive." He patted Hotch leg. "And if not, Garcia will find us someplace secluded to hide the pieces," he added with a smile.

Hotch chuckled. "Yeah, she could find us anything we'd need."

**XXXXX**

"Kay. . . I'm so sorry. . ." Tony started as he got up and paced in the room.

Kahlan watched him, her eyes started to water because she could tell the news was going to be bad. "Just tell me."

He stopped and turned and looked at her. "You should sit down." She nodded and went and sat on the bed. He pulled the chair close to her and sat down and looked her in the eyes. "His name is Aaron Hotchner. He's an FBI agent."

"What?" She asked him, flabbergasted. "Why and the hell would I go after an FBI agent?"

"He's dirty, Kay." He swallowed hard. "Believe me when I tell you he deserves you to go after him. Look at what he did to you. Does that seem like he's a good guy?"

She raised her brows at that. "Ok, so he's a monster that deserves to die, but you're still not telling me the whole story, are you?" She asked as she studied his face.

He looked at the floor. "You're really going to make me tell you, aren't you?"

She grabbed his chin and lifted his face to make him look at her. "Just tell me, please."

He grabbed both of her hands in his, and took a deep breath. "You never told me why. All I know is that you had some sort of run in with him and it pissed him off." He looked at the floor again. He sighed heavily and looked her in the eyes. "He. . . He killed. . ." He shook his head.

"He killed someone?" She asked desperately.

He got up and sat beside her on the bed. He licked his lips. "Not just someone." He bit his lip. She watched as his eyes watered, and her heart sank. "He killed Wyatt."

She searched his face for any signs of doubt as her breathing and heart rate increased. "What?" She cried.

"Kahlan, I'm so sorry."

"No!" She shook her head violently. "NO!" she demanded as she stood up.

"Kay. . ." He stood up and tried to pull her to him.

"NO! Not my little man!" Tears streamed down her face. "Not my sweet prince!" Her knees gave out on her and she fell to the floor, sobbing for the loss of her only child.

"Oh, Kay," he told her as he knelt down and pulled her to him. She cried into his chest. He rubbed circles on her back and let her cry. "I'm so sorry, Kay. I wish I didn't have to tell you that. It was bad enough to watch you go through it the first time."

**XXXXX**

Hotch and the team got off the jet to find two bureau SUVs and two men waiting for them. Rossi had talked the director into allowing him to make it an official kidnapping case; therefore, the local police could be utilized when and if Hotch wanted them. The fact that Demitri was wanted in several countries also helped turn the case into an official one, too. Garcia had set them up in the closest hotel to the building where they thought Kahlan was being held. Chuck introduced the team to the waiting men. Hotch shot Rossi a look at the first guy to be introduced as Rat; he looked like he was twelve years old. Chuck told them he was one of the best booby trap finders in the company. The other man was a middle aged black man with think muscles and a heavy southern accent; Tom was demolition expert from the Army Combat Engineers Unit.

Both of the men knew Kahlan, and Hotch realized they were almost as upset as the team about what had happened to her. The whole team shook hands with the two men and when it came time for Rat to shake Hotch's hand, Rat gave him a set of blueprints instead. Hotch unrolled the plans and knew they were the plans to the building in question. He smiled his thanks and they all piled into the two SUVs and headed to the hotel to makes plans for a morning raid. As they pulled up to the hotel, Rossi smiled at the SWAT vehicles that were already there.

**XXXXX**

Once Tony realized Kahlan had calm down enough, he let her go and pulled her up off the floor. Her anguish was quickly turning into anger, and he smiled mentally.

"You know where he is?" She asked him.

"No, I didn't find him where you were being held, but I do know he's based out of Quantico."

She nodded and went back to the bed and sat down. "And we're still in Indiana?"

He nodded. "Kay, you're not in any shape to go after him again."

"Not yet, but give me a couple of days. . ."

"Look what's he's already done to you. How can you go after him again?"

"I'll take you with me this time, and I won't be close enough for him to do anything to me," she told him with a small smile.

He smiled at her. "You're thinking a long distance shot?"

She gave him a devilish grin. "Does his office have a window?"

He chuckled. "I don't know, but we can find out."

"I want a picture of him."

He hesitated for just a fraction of a second. "I'll see what I can do. Let me focus on what you need and any information I can find; you focus on your need to rest, eat, and recuperate."

She nodded and took a drink of the shake. _You will pay for taking my son, and you will pay for doing this to me! I'll make sure the shot doesn't kill you instantly, though. I'll make sure to do enough damage that you will die, but you will suffer before you go to hell like you deserve!_

**XXXXX**

The hotel conference room was full as the team and all of the others went over the blueprints and tried to figure out the best strategy. Once Hotch and Chuck explained about the building in Baltimore, the SWAT guys were extremely worried, but they had a couple of explosive experts, too.

Hotch divided up teams, with one explosive guy on each team. He made sure Chuck went with him and Dave, Rat was paired with Morgan, and Tom was paired with JJ. Hotch didn't doubt the SWAT teams ability, but having Chuck and Kahlan's buddies just seemed right to him, so he went with his gut. No one pointed out to the local police that Kahlan was Hotch's wife, and Hotch introduce the picture of Kahlan using her maiden name. He didn't want any of the people who didn't know him to have to worry about Hotch being too close to the case.

Once the raid was planned and everything seemed to be ready, Rossi looked at his watch: 12:34. The raid was planned for first light, and Reid assured them that it would be light enough by 6:00 in the morning. Rossi knew Hotch would never be able to sleep, but he knew that the team needed to try and relax and recharge before morning came. He told Hotch, and Hotch called the meeting to an end and told them all to ready to go by 5:30.

Rossi walked with Hotch to his room, he was not going to leave him alone until they were done with everything and Kahlan was safely back with him. Hotch picked up on Rossi's intentions, but he didn't argue as he left his room door open for Rossi to enter. Rossi gave him a small smile and turned around to shut the door. He turned to Hotch. "How are you doing?"

Hotch half shrugged. "I'm fine. I'm going to take a shower and try to relax, but there's no way I'm going to sleep," Hotch told him as he took his bag to the bathroom.

Rossi sat his own bag down and the bed on the right side of the room. Something in his gut was nagging at him, and he had the horrible feeling that they were not going to find Kahlan in that building. He couldn't bear to tell Hotch what he was feeling, and tried to tell himself that the feeling wasn't anything more than nervousness. That wasn't helping, though, so he took out his phone and texted Chuck. He wanted to make sure that if they found Demitri in the morning, that he was taken alive.

'You don't think Kahlan's there, do you?'

'I don't know, but if she's not, we're going to need him to find her.'

'I understand. You want me to keep Hotch away from him?'

'Not so much away, but you may need to help restrain him if it comes down to it.'

'You think Hotch can take that guy?'

'When his emotions about Kahlan help fuel him, yeah.'

'True. I wouldn't want to be that asshole from the video if Hotch finds him first.'

'I'm not worried about making sure he stays alive. Hotch can do what he wants with him.' Rossi could picture Chuck's smile in the other room.

'Think I could talk Hotch into leaving a piece or two for me?'

'You could ask, but I think if he started in on him, he wouldn't be able to make himself stop.'

'True again. Damn it! Hotch gets to have all the fun!'

'You're an idiot. See you in the morning.'

'Yep.'

Rossi was just able to get his phone in his pocket by the time Hotch emerged from the bathroom. "Any better?"

Hotch nodded. "A little."

"Try to lay down and relax," Rossi told him as he turned on the tv.

Hotch sat on the other bed, turned to lean back on the headboard, and stretched his legs on the bed. Within ten minutes, Rossi knew he had dozed off. Rossi raised his brows at that. He smiled as made his way to the bathroom to change.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Rossi woke up and looked at the alarm clock: 4:17. He stretched his back and rolled over. He froze in his spot when he realized Hotch was not in his bed. _Son of a bitch!_ Rossi jumped up and checked the bathroom. Hotch wasn't there either. _God damn it!_ Rossi took out his phone and quickly called Hotch. He wasn't sure he'd actually answer, but he had to try. His heart sank as he heard Hotch's phone vibrating on the bed Hotch was supposed to be in. He grabbed Hotch's phone, and any thoughts of Garcia tracing the phone to find Hotch was squelched. He quickly called Morgan and asked him if he'd seen Hotch. "What!?" Morgan yelled sleepily; apparently he had actually been able to fall asleep. "I'm gonna kill him!" Morgan yelled. "I'm coming!" Morgan told Rossi and ended the call.

Rossi dialed Chuck. "Have you seen Hotch?"

"What!?" Chuck answered just as upset as Morgan. Rossi heard several doors in the hall open and then there was a knock on his door. Chuck was there first. The look on his face was a mix of fear and anger. "How could he run off on his own knowing what we're probably facing?" Chuck was already dressed and Rossi figured that either he had taken a little nap or he had never gone to sleep.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even hear him leave!" Rossi told them as everyone started to join him in the room; apparently the yells and movement had everyone awake. Chuck and his buddies were the only ones dressed, though.

"We've got to get down there. God! He could already have Hotch!" JJ said and they could all hear the fear in her voice.

"Get ready! We leave in five!" Rossi told them all and grabbed his bag to go get ready in the bathroom.

"SWAT won't be here until 5:30, though," Reid pointed out.

"I don't care! We can't wait!" Rossi yelled behind the closed door. They all left the room. Rossi threw his clothes on and ran out of the bathroom and ran right into Hotch.

"What the hell, Dave?" Hotch noticed the look on Rossi's face and that he was dressed. "What happened?" Hotch asked desperately.

"God, Damn it, Hotch! Where were you?" Rossi asked as everyone started coming into the room dressed and ready to go.

Hotch looked at everyone with confusion. "What happened?"

They all looked at him and he could see relief wash over their faces. "Really, Hotch? You had to scare the shit out of us?" Chuck asked him as he sat down on Hotch's bed.

"What?"

"I woke up and you weren't here. Where were you?"

"And your mind immediately went to me running off on my own? Really? Do I seem suicidal to you?"

Rossi could tell Hotch did not want to say what he was doing in front of everyone else. Rossi looked at the people gathered in the room. "Sorry. I apparently jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"Go back to your rooms. I'm sorry Dave scared you all, but I have no plans of trying to get that son of a bitch on my own," Hotch told them seriously.

With mumbled remarks they all left Hotch and Rossi alone.

Hotch sat down on his bed roughly. "Jesus, Dave, I thought you knew me better than that."

"I woke up and you weren't here, but your phone was. . . I'm sorry. I just got scared, I guess," Rossi told him as he sat down on his bed opposite Hotch. "Where were you?"

Hotch sighed deeply. "I had to go outside and get some fresh air."

"Why?"

Hotch looked at the floor. "I had another nightmare. It woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm sorry. I thought I would be back before you woke up."

Rossi got up and sat beside Hotch. "You want to talk about it?"

Hotch ran a hand down his face. "I dreamt we found Mordecai, but we didn't find her. What I'm I gonna do if we can't find her, Dave?" Hotch's voice started to crack and Rossi knew Hotch was scared.

Rossi couldn't tell him he had the same feeling, though, because he knew that would break Hotch's heart even more. "Then we will search until we do find her."

Hotch looked at Rossi with tears in his eyes. "I can't go home without her, Dave."

Rossi put his hand on Hotch's back. "I know. None of us will until she is safe and back with us."

"What if they found out about the message and moved her again?"

"Let's not jump to anymore conclusions today." Rossi told him softly. "We will cross that bridge when we come to it."

_When? Not if? Oh God! He feels the same way!_ Hotch took a shuddering breath. "You think Demitri can be made to talk?"

Rossi sighed heavily. _No, but I can't tell you that._ "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that."

_Shit!_ "Maybe Chuck can get him to talk."

"I think Chuck would like the chance."

Hotch nodded and stood up. "I'm going to get dressed."

Rossi watched him grab his bag and head to the bathroom. _Please, God, let us find her!_

**XXXXX**

Kahlan tossed in her bed. She couldn't sleep. She was cold, she hurt all over, and she couldn't douse the anger that was burning inside of her for the man that had killed her son. She got up and went to the bathroom. As she splashed water on her face, she looked in the mirror. _I'm so sorry, baby. That man came after you because of something I did, but I will get him. He will pay for taking you away from me!_ Tears fell down her cheeks as she went back into the room. She stopped by the thermostat; it registered that it was 73 degrees. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ She wondered as she coughed a few times. It was beginning to hurt to cough, and she knew she was it was more than just a cold. _I don't have time for this shit! _She got back in bed and wrapped herself up in the blanket. _I'll get him if it's the last thing I do, Wyatt! I swear to you!_

**XXXXX**

"Wow, this is the most alert team I've ever had the pleasure of working with this early in the morning," James, the ranking SWAT officer, told the team with a smile as they prepared to leave.

They all glanced at Rossi, but none of them said anything about the adrenaline rush they had already experienced that morning. "We just really want this guy," Chuck told him with a smile.

"And to find Kahlan," Reid pointed out.

"Alright, everyone knows the plan. Let's go," Hotch told them and they all disbursed to their appointed vehicles.

Dave dove one SUV and Morgan drove the other. They all knew Hotch was a little too preoccupied to have to worry about driving. They approached the building without sirens or flashing lights, and as soon as they were stopped, they all split up into four teams to breach the four entrances of the building.

Hotch waited behind two Swat guys, and as soon as they had the signal that everyone was ready, the front man busted down the door, and they all entered the building with caution. They silently made their way through room after room, and when they came to the room where Hotch knew Kahlan was held in the end of the video, Hotch froze. Rossi shot Chuck a look and Chuck made the SWAT guys move on to the next one. Hotch was fuming, and Rossi knew he was seeing the video in his mind again. "Come on, Hotch. Let's go find her."

Hotch took one last look at the floor where his wife had been assaulted and finally turned towards the door. "I sure hope we find that bastard!" He told him as he went out.

Rossi almost felt sorry for the man from the video, almost. He quickly ran to catch up with Hotch.

After several more turns, Hotch's team came to a 'T'. As they stood there and tried to figure out which way to go, Hotch suddenly ran to the left.

"Hotch!" Rossi and Chuck yelled at the same time as they took off after him. Rossi had no idea what had grabbed Hotch's attention, but he knew it couldn't be good.

They came around the next corner and saw Hotch's right hand in Demitri's hand. He was using the same move that Kahlan had used on Rossi all those years ago. Rossi quickly pointed his gun at Demitri; he was worried about Hotch getting hurt.

Hotch covered Demitri's hand with his left hand, twisted his right hand and ended up twisting Demitri's arm around behind him. Hotch laughed at the look of shock on Demitri's face. "Kahlan's taught me a few things over the years," Hotch told him coldly.

"Oh yeah? Wait to see what else she's gonna teach you!" Demitri told him with a grin and spun around and flipped Hotch onto his back roughly.

Chuck went to run in, but Rossi grabbed his arm to stop him. "Let Hotch handle this."

From his position on the floor, Hotch snapped his leg up and kicked Demitri in the face. As Demitri stumbled back a few paces, Hotch jumped up and punched him in the jaw. "Where is she?" Hotch demanded.

"You'll never find out!" Demitri yelled as swung and caught Hotch in the face.

Hotch was so pissed that Rossi didn't even think Hotch felt the blow. Hotch dove into Demitri and drove him back against the wall! "I'll find her, and I'll let her have you!"

Demitri pushed Hotch off of him, reached up and grabbed Hotch's head, and brought it down as he brought his knee up. As Hotch stumbled back, Rossi could see blood pouring out of Hotch's nose.

"Can I go help him now?" Chuck asked Rossi desperately.

Hotch ran back to Demitri and swung at him again. Demitri was ready, though, and kicked Hotch in the side of his head. Rossi quickly nodded to Chuck and shoved him into the room. Before Hotch could reset himself, Chuck tackled Demitri to the ground. Hotch stood there watching Demitri struggle, but Chuck got his arms penned behind him and stood him up. He turned him to face Hotch. Hotch smiled and punched Demitri in the face again, knocking him out cold.

Chuck let Demitri's unconscious body fall to the floor as he smiled at Hotch. Hotch stood there breathing heavily. "I could have took him!" Hotch insisted.

"I know, but I didn't want you to have all of the fun," Chuck told him and then bent down and cuffed Demitri.

Rossi came up and put his hand on Hotch's back. "You ok?"

Hotch nodded as he wiped the blood off his face roughly. "We need to go find h. . ." Hotch started as an explosion was heard through the building. They all ducked out of reflex. "Not again!" Hotch yelled as he went back to the door of the room they were in.

"Hotch!" Rossi yelled as he ran and took ahold of Hotch's arm. "You can't go running off by yourself!"

"If she's here, she may get hurt in the blasts!"

"You know what that son of a bitch is capable of!"

"That's why I need to find her!"

"But we need to it slowly and using our heads. You don't know what kinds of traps he might have set in here!" He wasn't sure if Hotch was going to listen or not, but he was not about to let him go running through the building and take the chance of getting killed. He was prepared to use force and his handcuffs if it came to it.

Hotch took a couple of deep breaths. He definitely didn't want to set off a trap and endanger his team or even possibly Kahlan. He nodded to Rossi. He knew he had to use his head and not his heart.

Rossi keyed the mic on his comm link. "Report!"

Hotch started to relax a little as all of his teamed checked in. Two SWAT guys finally ran into the room. They saw Demitri cuffed and smiled widely, but another explosion shook dust from the ceiling.

"Abort! Abort! The whole place is wired to come down!" They all heard Tom yell into the comm link. A look of horror quickly overtook Hotch's face, and he took a step toward the hall leading into the rest of the building.

"Stop him!" Rossi yelled at the SWAT guys just in time. They both wrestled Hotch back into the room. "Get him out of here!" Rossi yelled as soon as another explosion shook the building; that one a lot closer. Rossi ran to Chuck to help him get Demitri out, too.

"Let me go!" Hotch yelled as he fought the burly officers who had all but picked him up off his feet. Had he not been so tall, they would have carried him out. "Stop! Damn it, she might be in there!" Hotch cried as tears started to fall unhindered down his cheeks.

Chuck and Rossi drug Demitri down the hall following the SWAT guys and the still struggling Hotch.

As soon as they cleared the building, a blast from another explosion knocked Rossi and Chuck to their feet.

"Get off of me!" Hotch yelled as he still tried to get away from the two men.

Rossi quickly turned over and watched in horror as the building started to collapse like it was made out of dominoes.

"Nooo!" Hotch yelled as he became limp in the men's arms. Rossi watched as his friend sunk to the ground. Chuck got up and pulled Demitri away from the building even farther. Rossi got up and ran to Hotch.

"Oh God, Aaron! I'm so sorry!" Rossi told him as he fell to his knees beside him.

Hotch was crying, but as soon as Rossi touched him, he turned and pushed Rossi away from him. "Get away from me!" Hotch yelled at him, and Rossi's heart broke.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"Hotch?" Rossi asked tentatively as his eyes watered. Hotch wouldn't even look at him. "Aaron?"

Hotch continued to sob as he hid his face in his hands. The SWAT guys didn't know what to make of it, but they knew he couldn't go into the building anymore, so they made their way back to their vehicle to see if there was anything they needed to do.

Morgan and Reid ran up and when they saw Demitri, Morgan smiled. As he turned and realized the shape Hotch was in, though, his smile quickly faded. Rossi looked at them both and was relieved to see them unharmed. "Where's JJ?"

Right on cue, JJ came running up. She was covered in dust, but looked unharmed, too. Her heart broke as she watched Hotch sob. She gave Rossi a questioning look; Rossi shrugged, so she went up to Hotch and knelt down beside him. "Come on, Hotch. She might not have been in there," she told him softly as she put her arm around his shoulder.

"Oh isn't that touching. He thinks his wife is dead," Demitri said with feigned pity.

Chuck dropped from his standing position and hit him in the sternum with his elbow. The air gushed out of his lungs. "Shut up or I'll kill you right now!"

Hotch stopped crying and looked at Demitri. With the look on his face, JJ quickly removed her arm, stood up, and took a step back from Hotch.

Hotch pushed himself off the ground and stood up. He walked over to Demitri as Chuck eyed him warily. With strength born from anguish, Hotch reached down and pulled the man up off the ground and into a standing position. "Get him some place where we can have a little chat," Hotch told Chuck quietly, but they could all hear the venom in his words. Chuck nodded and yanked the man away from the group.

Rossi took a step towards Hotch. He looked at his team, and they all knew he wanted to be alone with their Unit Chief. "Let's go see what needs to be done," Morgan told them and they headed back the way they had come.

Once they were gone, Rossi stepped up to Hotch. "Aaron, you even said yourself you didn't think she was here. I couldn't let you go in there; you would have been killed," Rossi tried to explain.

"He said 'thinks' not 'is'." Hotch told him without looking at him.

"What?"

"That son of bitch," Hotch started as he turned to face Rossi and pointed the way Chuck had taken Demitri. "He said 'he thinks his wife is dead', not 'his wife is dead'. She has to be somewhere else."

Rossi had been so worried about Hotch being mad at him he hadn't really heard what Demitri had said. "Ok, then, so we know we still have to look."

Hotch nodded. "This was a trap. He just wanted as many of us in there as possible."

"Yeah, I guess he wasn't counting on us bringing Chuck and his buddies and them figuring that out."

"Did you see his face when Chuck came into the room? He definitely didn't expect him to be here. Maybe that will throw him off enough that we can get something out of him."

Rossi nodded. "Let's go see what we have to do here."

Hotch nodded and they went to where their vehicles had been parked. Police, fire, and medical started to show up. "I really hope someone found that asshole from the video," Hotch confessed.

Rossi bit his lip. _And God help him if they did._

**XXXXX**

Tony watched the whole scene unfold from a nearby roof top. Through binoculars, he knew they had captured Demitri, and while that bothered him; he knew how to proceed. He sighed heavily. He had to wait a day or so and then he would unleash Kahlan onto Agent Hotchner. He smiled as walked back into the building. While, at first, he wanted to see Kahlan shoot the agent in Quantico, he thought a closer confrontation could get very interesting. He just had to make sure they weren't found until he knew she was ready. _Hopefully they don't think she was in that building and pack up and go home, but if they do, we'll just take a ride to Virginia._

**XXXXX**

Hotch walked over to where several cops were loading up the men who had been found in the building. Thanks to Tom, not one person who had gone into the building with the raid was hurt beyond a couple bumps and scrapes. The same couldn't be said the same for some of Demitri's men. There were a few reports of men running throughout the building before it started to collapse. Hotch scanned the prisoners, but he couldn't see the man from the video and the alpha in him screamed. While being able to take out some of his frustrations on Demitri had been nice, he was really hoping to get his hands on the man who had raped Kahlan.

Morgan realized who Hotch was looking for. "Unless he was still in the building, he hasn't been seen."

"Neither has the man who was with Demitri in the sat photo," Reid pointed out.

"Wherever they are, they have Kahlan," Hotch told them as he ground his teeth. He didn't like the thought of the man from the video still being with Kahlan. He couldn't stop his mind from imagining all sorts of horrors that his wife was experiencing at the hands of the bastard.

"You don't know that," Morgan pointed out, trying to make Hotch feel better.

The look Hotch shot him told him he did.

"Where's Mordecai?" Lt. James asked the agents. He knew from his men that he had been apprehended.

"He's part of a federal investigation, he's going with us," Rossi told him.

James looked at Hotch and then back to Rossi and then nodded. Rossi was pretty sure the man didn't believe him, but he was smart enough not to say anything.

"Search and rescue are starting now. We'll know if anyone else was in the building within a few hours," a local police officer told them.

"Morgan, you got things here?" Hotch asked him.

Morgan knew Hotch wanted to interrogate Demitri, but he was half afraid of the outcome. "You taking Dave with you?"

Hotch stared at him and then looked at Rossi. He knew Rossi had just protected him, but he still felt a little anger at him for having him man handled. He also knew, though, that Morgan would not let him leave without taking Rossi, so he nodded.

Rossi breathed a sigh of relief. He knew Hotch was still mad at him, and he prayed that Kahlan wasn't in the building. He wasn't even sure how he would feel if it turned out that Kahlan was dead in that building. _Please, God! Let her be alive and somewhere else!_

"We got this. Go. Find out where she is," Morgan told him with a look at JJ and Reid.

Hotch nodded and turned to go to the SUV. Chuck ran to ran up to meet him as Rossi walked slowly behind them.

"Hotch!" Chuck called out. Hotch stopped and turned to him. "You better put that damn pride of yours away; I don't care how bruised it is. Rossi did what he had to do to keep you alive. If he had let you go running into that building, you'd be in a body bag right now. And then, when we found Kahlan, we'd have to tell her we let you get yourself killed. How do you think she'd take that news on top of everything else she's experienced?"

Hotch studied his face and then looked at Rossi who had stopped a few feet away to let the two men talk. "I know, I just couldn't handle the thought of her maybe being in there. . ."

"She wasn't," Chuck told him seriously.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I can feel it. She's alive!"

Hotch raised his brows. "Alright then, let go see where she is." He turned and walked away.

Rossi wasn't sure if Chuck's feeling was anything like the connection Hotch had had, but Rossi was glad to hear about it. He walked up and put his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Thanks."

Chuck smiled at him. "Seeing him mad at you just seems so wrong. I couldn't handle it."

Rossi smiled back. "It doesn't happen often, but. . ."

"But sons always get mad at their fathers, yeah, I know, but it was still disturbing to witness. Come on before he leaves without us."

They started to walk. "Does he even know where he is?"

"No, but I bet he'd still leave us just to make a point," Chuck joked.

XXX

Demitri smiled when Hotch walked into the room where he was being held. His smile faltered, though, when Chuck and Rossi walked in behind Hotch. "I should have known you'd still be with her," Demitri told Chuck.

"Damn straight! We're peas in a pod; there's no separating us," Chuck told him with a smile.

"Really? Seems like I've done just that," Demitri told him with his own smile.

Chuck's smile left him and he backhanded Demitri across the face. "You psychotic son of a bitch! Where is she?"

Demitri spat blood out of his mouth. "Wouldn't you like to know? Can't handle not having your little mommy tell you what to do? Is separation anxiety getting to be too hard for you to handle?"

Tom, who had been guarding Demitri, reached over and punched him in the mouth. "You better watch your mouth!" They all had heard a crack when the big man's fist impacted with Demitri's face. Demitri leaned over and spit out a tooth and more blood. He gave Tom a look of hatred, but he didn't say anything else. "That's what I thought!"

"Tell me where she is, and I'll make sure they don't hurt you anymore," Hotch told Demitri.

Rossi noticed that the Hotch stare wasn't having any effect on the psychopath.

Demitri smiled at Hotch. "You have no idea the pain I can withstand."

Hotch shot Chuck a look. Chuck knew Hotch wanted answers, but he wasn't sure how far Hotch was willing to let them go to get them. Tom took a long survival knife out of the sheath on his on his belt. Demitri glanced at him, and Hotch could see a flicker of fear. _Maybe he's not as brave as he's trying to make us think._ Hotch smiled, and Rossi thought he looked like the Cheshire cat.

"I don't think will be necessary, Tom," Hotch told him.

Chuck, Tom, and Demitri all looked at Hotch questioningly.

"The Saudi's stone assassins to death, don't they Dave?" Hotch asked him.

Demitri's look of fear almost made Rossi smile. "I do believe they do," Rossi lied. He had no idea what the Saudi Arabians did, but he knew that was one of the countries where Mordecai was wanted.

"Let's get him back to Betheseda. We can send him on the next transport over," Hotch told them and turned to leave the room.

"What!?" Demitri yelled as he tried to get up.

Rossi followed Hotch toward the door.

"Just wait!" Demitri yelled again, but Hotch kept walking. Chuck and Tom each grabbed one of Demitri's arms and started pulling him toward the door. "She wasn't in there!" Demitri yelled to Hotch.

Hotch stopped and turned around. "I figured that out already. Get him out of here!" Hotch told them and turned back around to leave.

"I'll tell you where she is!" Demitri told him, and Hotch stopped again.

Hotch turned around slowly. Chuck pulled Demitri to a stop. "You better talk fast," Hotch told him coldly as he advanced on him.

Demitri studied him, and he knew he had Hotch right where he wanted him. He jerked his arms out of Chuck's and Tom's grasp. _I'd prefer to die here than be sent over there! All I got to do is piss him off enough!_ "Make sure you find her first, Hotchner. That is, if there's anything left for you to find," he told him with a wicked smile.

"You son of a bitch!" Chuck yelled as he grabbed him again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hotch asked him. Rossi noticed Hotch's hands balled into fists.

"You saw the video, right?" Demitri asked even though he knew the answer. Hotch's lip twitched. "She's been entertaining a lot of my friends!"

Hotch let out a growl type sound and grabbed the man by the throat.

"Hotch!" Rossi yelled. They still hadn't found out where Kahlan was. Rossi ran up and grabbed Hotch as Demitri's face started turning red, he wasn't even fighting. "Hotch!" Rossi yelled again as he struggled to get him off of the man.

"He can still tell us where she is!" Chuck tried to reason with Hotch.

Hotch let him go roughly and turned away from him as Demitri gasped for air. Once he could swallow and breathe right, he knew he had to just push Hotch a little more. "She cried endlessly for you to save her! After Nick got done with her that first time, she swore to him that you'd kill him, but you never came." Hotch turned around and Demitri could tell by the look on his face that Hotch was close to the breaking point. "She begged for him to stop! She kept telling us you'd save her, and then she'd cry herself to sleep at night praying that you'd come! And now she'll die knowing you couldn't save her. That her big, bad, agent husband wasn't a match for me!"

A gun shot made everyone flinch. Hotch watched in shock as blood started to soak Demitri's shirt. He turned around and saw Rossi's pistol in his hand. "It was obvious that he was going to keep going until one of us killed him," Rossi told him as he put his pistol back in its holster.

"Jesus Christ, Rossi!" Chuck yelled as he let Demitri slump to the floor. They all knew the shot to his chest was fatal. "You could have warned somebody."

"He wasn't going to give us anything useful," Tom told them as he felt for a pulse.

Hotch just stood there and stared at the dead man as his face lost all of its color. Rossi thought it look like Hotch was going to throw up. "He was lying, Hotch."

Hotch looked at him, and Rossi could see the anguish in Hotch's eyes. "Was he?"

Chuck could see fear gripping Hotch. "Yes he was. He was just trying to say anything to make you mad enough to kill him."

"How can you be so sure? You saw that damn video, too!" Hotch yelled as his eyes watered.

Rossi could tell Hotch was trying to keep it together, but it looked like Hotch was starting to lose the battle. "Hotch, don't let him have that power over you!"

"Kahlan would die before she begged anyone!" Chuck told him.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Hotch asked him as his breathing quickened.

"Get him out of here, Rossi. I'll take care of this and meet you back at the hotel," Chuck told him.

Rossi nodded and grabbed Hotch by the arm and lead him toward the door. "Come on, Hotch."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Hotch never said a word as Rossi drove him back to the hotel, and as soon as they got to the room, he went straight to the bathroom. Rossi knew Hotch was trying to stay strong, but he knew he was struggling. He knew Hotch didn't want to believe what Demitri had told him, but Rossi knew Hotch's fear over those horrible things being true was starting take hold in his mind, and not finding the bastard from the video was letting those thoughts win. Rossi couldn't let himself believe what Demitri had said because he wasn't sure even Kahlan could survive multiple rapes and torture and God knows what else. Rossi walked to the bathroom door. "Aaron?" Just then Rossi heard Hotch retching. _Oh, Aaron! I'm so sorry he said those things to you!_ Rossi reached for the handle and was relieved to find it unlocked. He opened the door to find Hotch hugging the toilet and retching again.

"Jesus, Aaron. Please don't let him win by believing what he said," Rossi told him as he knelt down and placed a supporting hand on Hotch's back.

Hotch wiped his mouth as he breathed raggedly. "How can I not. . . when we all. . . saw that video?"

Rossi got up to wet a washcloth. After he rung it out he handed it to Hotch who started to have dry heaves. Once he was done he grabbed the washcloth and cleaned his face with it. "She needs you to be strong, Aaron. She needs you to help find her." Hotch sat on the floor and hid his face in the washcloth, and Rossi knew he had started to cry. Rossi sat down next to him and rubbed Hotch's shoulder. "Come on, you can do this."

"I can't handle it, Dave. Her face in that video. . . If she's been. . ."

"She's a strong woman, Aaron. She can get through this. We just have to find her."

"And how are we going to do that now?" Hotch asked as his breathing started to turn regular.

Just then, Hotch's phone vibrated. Hotch dug it out of his pocket and handed it to Rossi without even looking at it. Rossi took it and noticed it was Garcia. "Hey, kitten, you got Rossi."

"Where's Hotch? We saw the report of the building. . . Is he. . ."

"Hotch is right here with me. What do you need?" He heard Garcia calm down, but he knew she knew there was something wrong.

"We were able to track Demitri's van through traffic cams. We think we found a secondary location. . ."

"Oh my God! That's great Garcia!" Rossi started. Hotch quickly looked at him. "Send the address to Hotch's phone then let the team know. Tell them to come to the hotel."

"Of course. Rossi?"

"Yeah Kitten?"

"Tell him to hang in there."

"I will," Rossi told her and the call ended.

"What?" Hotch asked desperately.

"They have another address. The team's going to meet us here," Rossi told him as he stood up and reached a hand out to help Hotch up.

Hotch accepted the hand. "Give me a minute," Hotch told him weakly.

Rossi nodded and let him be alone. Rossi got a text. He took out his phone and saw it was Reid wanting to talk to him in private. Rossi quickly asked him if he had heard from Garcia. Reid told him that Morgan was talking to her right then, but he insisted that it didn't matter. They had found some stuff that Rossi needed to know about. Rossi told him to come to the hotel and he would talk to him as soon as Morgan and JJ had Hotch occupied. Rossi didn't want to think about what would be so important, but it scared him.

Rossi heard a knock on the door and he went to find Chuck and his buddies. Rossi let them in and whispered to Chuck about Reid's cryptic message. Chuck lost his smile as he started to feel the same worry as Rossi.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan awoke with a start. Breathing heavily she looked around the room and it took her a second to realize where she was. Images where flooding her mind, and she couldn't make sense of them. Some were of a blonde man leaning over her and she twitched as she tried to focus on his face. She had the feeling he man wanted to hurt her, and a chill went down her spine. Another image was of a dark haired man at the park with some kids. With the way the man looked at the kids, she knew they were his, but she didn't know the man. She couldn't figure out why she had been watching him.

She got up and started to pace. She had also dreamed about her son, but they were memories from when he was younger. She knew he had been taken, and she knew he had been found for him to have been able to be killed by the agent, yet she couldn't remember a reunion with him. _God! Did he die before I got to see him again? Did he die not knowing I was searching for him?_ She felt fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. Pacing was making her feel like a caged animal, and she was sure she had had enough of that feeling for the rest of her life. She couldn't remember all of her captivity, but she was sure being locked up was a big part of it.

She went to the door, opened it, and came face to face with Tony.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked her.

"I can't stay cooped up any longer. I want to go take a walk or something."

Tony knew they were far enough away from the building, so he didn't see a problem with her going outside. "You have to eat first, but sure, I'll go with you," he told her as he held up a bag that apparently held food. He led her out into the kitchen and sat the bag on the table. "I know you like waffles more than pancakes, but I couldn't find any other than the toaster ones."

She smiled sadly. Wyatt had liked them, but she never really did. "As long as you have syrup," she told him as she sat down.

"Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee."

He started the pot as she divided the food up between them. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed another shake and handed it to her. She coughed and he gave her a concerned look. "You don't sound too healthy. You sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"

"I'm fine," she insisted and started eating.

**XXXXX**

Hotch cleaned himself up and walked out into the room to find Chuck and his buddies waiting patiently. Hotch could tell they already knew about the new address, so he didn't bother to say anything as he went to door.

"Where are you going?" Chuck asked him concern.

"I need some air," Hotch started as he grabbed the handle. "I'll be back." He told them and before any of them could object, he went out the door and shut it behind him.

"I should have killed that son of a bitch before he had the chance to say the things he did," Rossi told them as he looked at the closed door.

"You gonna go to him?" Chuck asked him.

"No. He needs a little space and time to process. He'll be back," Rossi assured them.

Hotch walked out of the hotel and out to the parking lot. He sat down on the back bumper of the SUV. _God, Kahlan, I'm so sorry. I should have been able to find you faster. I should have stopped you from leaving. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Please God, let me find her!_ Hotch looked up at the sky. _Please let her be here._ Hotch watched as Morgan pulled the other SUV into the lot. He stood up and wiped his face quickly.

"Oh, God. What's he doing out here? I can't tell him. . . Rossi's got to be the one to tell him," Reid told Morgan and JJ as they pulled into a spot.

"Just cool it, Spence. We'll keep Hotch out here so you can go talk to Rossi," JJ told him.

"Ok." _Please don't let him ask me what I know!_ Reid thought as he grabbed the handle to get out of the back of the SUV.

As soon as they exited the vehicle, Hotch knew something was terribly wrong. "What?" Hotch could hear Reid swallow, and it made his stomach turn again.

"So how did it go with Demitri?" Morgan asked to try to let Reid escape.

"Reid?" Hotch asked in a tone that froze Reid on the spot. He noticed Reid carrying a notebook.

"Garcia's sent us the info on that address," JJ told him as she showed him her tablet. Hotch looked at the house on the screen, and by the time he looked back up, Reid was already half way to the hotel entrance.

He sighed heavily. "Can Garcia confirm who is in the house?" Hotch asked knowing they were not going to tell him about what was scaring Reid.

JJ moved to the next photo. It showed the same man that had been in the satellite photo with Demitri. "He seems to be important to Demitri. Maybe he's his second," Morgan mused.

Hotch nodded and started for the hotel. Morgan and JJ looked at each other but quickly caught up with him.

Hotch opened the door to his room, but neither Rossi nor Reid were in there. "Where's Rossi?" Hotch asked Chuck.

Chuck shrugged. "I thought he went out to find you."

Hotch studied him, but Chuck's smile made it hard for him to read him. He knew it wouldn't do him any good to question Morgan or JJ, so he resolved himself to get ready for the raid on the house. He looked at Morgan. "Get SWAT back over here. We need to move on that house now." Hotch told him and left the room.

Morgan watched him leave; he couldn't tell Hotch about what Reid had found. He wanted to leave that up to Rossi, so he nodded to JJ and followed Hotch down the hall. Chuck and his buddies jumped up to follow them as JJ called to get things set up.

XXX

Rossi had joined Reid in his room to find out exactly what had the young genius so upset. Reid's look of terror set Rossi on edge. "What is it Reid?"

Reid handed him the notebook they had found in the remains of the building. "If he's done to Kahlan what is written in this notebook, then we might only find a shell of the woman she once was," Reid told him quietly.

Rossi took the notebook knowing he didn't want to know what was in it, but also knowing he had to find out. He read over the pages. His heart skipped a beat as he read the words 'sleep deprivation' and 'brainwashing'. If Demitri had been successful, Kahlan had lost over three years of her memories. Rossi tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Is that even really possible?" Reid asked and Rossi could tell from his tone that he hoped that is wasn't.

"If it's done right," Rossi told him. He had read many stories of different governments doing it to people. He had even heard of the CIA successfully using similar techniques to turn agents against their own countries, or to turn ordinary people into killers.

"We can't let Hotch find her. We can't even let him see her until we know what kind of shape she is in."

Rossi thought about Hotch. He didn't think they could stop him from joining in the search without physically stopping him, and he would hate them for it. "No. We just need to tell him what might have been done so he can prepare himself."

"You think he'll be able to handle it?" Reid asked clearly worried about Hotch's emotional state already.

"He'll have to," Rossi told him simply. Rossi knew Hotch would do whatever it took to get Kahlan back. He took a deep breath. He knew he would need to be the one to tell Hotch because nobody else wanted to, and he didn't think Hotch would actually listen to anyone else. "Let's get back in there, so I can tell him before we raid the house."

Reid nodded and followed Rossi back to Hotch's room. When he opened the door, he looked around confusedly; nobody was there. Just then Reid's phone went off. Reid took it out and showed Rossi the text. They were all in the conference room preparing for the raid on the house. "Damn it!" Rossi half yelled and they headed downstairs.

Rossi entered the room and saw that SWAT was already there and that Hotch was about ready to leave. "Hotch," Rossi called to him to get his attention. Hotch looked at him, and Rossi thought that Hotch was going to ignore him so he could get to finding his wife faster. "Morgan, I need to talk to Hotch before you all do anything."

Morgan could tell from Rossi's tone that Rossi expected Morgan's help. "No problem. Take a break guys," He told the SWAT team.

"We don't have time to talk," Hotch started.

"Aaron! We need to talk," Rossi told him forcefully.

Hotch looked to Morgan, and Morgan just stood there and crossed his arms, letting him know they weren't going anywhere until Hotch talked to Rossi. Hotch also knew it must be something bad for Rossi to have used his first name in front of others. Hotch glanced at Reid and JJ, but they wouldn't even meet his gaze and his stomach twisted even tighter. He didn't want to hear about whatever horrible things they had discovered, he had enough of horrible things running around in his head already. He just wanted to find his wife and try to save her from whatever horrors she was facing. He looked at Chuck, and Chuck mirrored Morgan's stance to let him know he would not doing anything until Hotch talked to Rossi either. He thought about ignoring them all and going to the house on his own. Rossi stepped over to him and grabbed his arm as if he could read his thoughts. Hotch's mind then went to the worst possible thing. _Is she dead? Do they know she's dead?_ Hotch swallowed hard and finally nodded.

Rossi sent Morgan a look and Morgan ushered everyone out of the room so Hotch and Rossi could be alone. Hotch studied Rossi's face; he didn't like the look in Rossi's eyes but it didn't look like they had found evidence of Kahlan being dead. "What is it, Dave?"

Rossi took a deep breath. "Aaron," Rossi started but had to take another deep breath. Hotch wanted to scream at him; to tell him to just spit it out, but he couldn't find his voice through the fear that was filling up his chest. "If he has done what he says he has done in this notebook, then you need to be prepared for what shape Kahlan may be in."

"What? What has he done? Other than what he has already told me? What could possibly be worse than that?"

Rossi noticed Hotch's breathing quicken, and he could clearly see Hotch's pulse pounding in his neck. Rossi didn't want to add to Hotch's suffering, and he thought twice about not even telling Hotch; but he knew Hotch needed to be prepared. "According to this notebook, Demitri has spent the last month breaking Kahlan's mind."

Hotch's breathing hitched in his chest. Their interpretations of the songs in last message had been correct and his stomach lurched. If he hadn't already thrown up, he would have done it right there and then. "What does that mean?" He asked weakly as his eyes watered.

"It says that he has taken away over three years of her memories."

Hotch knew that meant he no longer existed for Kahlan, and he finally understood why he lost his connection with her, but he didn't want to believe it. "No! She can't. . . He couldn't have. . ."

"It doesn't say why or what he has tried to put in their place, but I think that means she won't know any of us."

"No!" Hotch told him and turned away from him. Rossi could tell Hotch didn't want to believe it, but his ragged breathing told him he did.

Rossi put his hand on Hotch's shoulder. "Aaron."

"That's why he wants me to find her first. He wants me to see that she doesn't know me," Hotch said in a tone that told Rossi he felt defeated.

"Aaron, I'm so sorry."

After a few moments, Hotch took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He turned to Rossi and Rossi took an involuntary step back at the look on Hotch's face. It was the most frightening Hotch stare that he had ever seen. Hotch looked like he was going to say something but licked his lips instead. He started towards the door, but he stopped and turned back around. "No," he said simply. Rossi wasn't sure what Hotch was saying 'no' to. "Kahlan is a strong woman. She has a strong mind."

"Aaron."

"NO! She may be a little mixed up, but the woman I love cannot be gone! I will find her and prove it."

"I'm not saying we shouldn't find her. I just want you aware of what kind of shape she may be in, how she might act upon seeing you."

"Then let's go." Hotch told him and Rossi nodded. "Morgan!" Hotch yelled, knowing that he was waiting just outside the door. Morgan came back into the room. "We're ready."

Morgan nodded and went back into the hall to let everyone know.

**XXXXX**

Kahlan finished eating and finished her cup of coffee. Tony smiled as he handed her a file folder. "You sure you want to see him?"

Kahlan raised her brows and took the folder tentatively. She opened it and looked at the face of her son's killer. She sucked in her breath as she realized it was the same man from the park in her dream. Now she knew why she was watching him. It bothered her to think of the man being the monster he was and that he had a family. _Good cover, I bet, but if he's that dirty, then he probably is treating them badly, too. His family will be better off without him!_

Tony refilled her cup as he watched her closely. He was pretty sure that what Demitri had done had worked, but he also knew having her husband's picture might also trigger deeply buried memories. He smiled as a look of hatred spread across Kahlan's face. "You remember him?"

"No, but I won't forget his face ever again. At least not until I kill him," she told him adamantly. She slammed the picture down and stood up. "I need some air!"

"Ok, let's go take that walk. Just promise me you'll take it nice and slow until you can gauge where you are physically," Tony told her as he stood up and gestured toward the door.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Hotch waited behind a SWAT officer and as soon as the team at the back of the house was ready, they breached both doors at once. Within moments they cleared the house and realized it was empty. SWAT made to leave as Hotch and everyone else searched the house for evidence. Hotch walked into the kitchen and put a hand around one of the coffee cups. _Shit! They were just here! _"It's still warm," he told Rossi.

Rossi noticed Hotch's look was a mix of fear and rage. Rossi was really hoping they would find Kahlan or at least one of the missing men. Chuck came walking into the kitchen; the disappointment was very clear on his face. "Chuck, get Morgan and get everyone away from here. They were just here, so they will probably be back." Chuck nodded and left to take care of it.

Reid and JJ came into the kitchen. Reid looked at Rossi with a sad look. "It doesn't look like anyone has been held here. There's not a lock on any of the doors."

"Maybe they are staying here and holding her somewhere else," JJ suggested. "Why is it so cold in here?"

"Well, if they were holding her here, keeping it this cold would keep her in a state of mild hyperthermia," Reid told her and then winced at the look Hotch gave him.

"Well, let's get out of here. We can watch the house and wait for them to come back," Rossi told them as he herded them toward the door. Hotch didn't move, though, and Rossi went back to him. "Aaron?" He noticed Hotch staring at the table.

"What if she's not being held against her will?"

"What?"

"What if what they've done to her makes her where they don't have to keep her as a prisoner anymore?"

"I don't know. Why are you even thinking along those lines?"

Hotch studied the table and the remains of breakfast that sat there. "I think Kahlan was eating here," Hotch told him as he gestured to the plate closest to him.

Rossi saw a partially eaten pancake on a plate and a two-thirds full cup of coffee, but he had no idea why Hotch would think that it was Kahlan who had been sitting there. "How can you tell?" Rossi asked with concern. He was afraid that Hotch was starting to lose it.

Hotch saw the look Rossi was giving him. "Never mind." Hotch leaned down and grabbed the folder sitting on the table. His breath hitched in his chest.

Rossi went to the door. He saw JJ and Reid get in one of the SUVs with Morgan and Tom. Chuck and Rat were waiting at the door for them. "Take the SUV around the corner. Hotch and I will sneak out the back and join you in a few."

Chuck nodded and he and Rat went to the vehicle. He told Morgan what Rossi wanted and both SUVs pulled away from the house leaving Hotch and Rossi alone. Rossi sighed and went back to the kitchen. He found Hotch sitting at the table. He looked over his shoulder and looked at the open folder in his hand.

"Why would they erase her memories and then have a picture of me?" Hotch asked him weakly.

"I don't know, Aaron. Why do you think she was eating here?"

Hotch looked up at him. He knew Rossi didn't believe him, and that bothered him. "Am I so screwed up that you doubt my profiling abilities?"

Rossi gave him a look of pity. "I'm sorry, Aaron. I don't mean to doubt you."

Hotch pointed to the plate. "Kahlan's a little OCD and extremely picky." Rossi nodded, he knew that. "She cuts her food into strips," Hotch told as he pointed to the half-eaten pancake.

Rossi looked at it. "She probably not the only one who cuts their food like that."

"But she doesn't like soggy food either." Rossi noticed the pancake didn't have any syrup on it. There was a puddle of syrup on the side of the plate not touching the pancake. "How many people do you know do that?"

Rossi gave him a small smile. "Ok, she was here. She's staying in this house with at least that guy from the photos, and they have a picture of you. What does that mean?"

Hotch stood up and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "I don't know, but I don't like it." Rossi put his hand on Hotch's shoulder. "Let's get out of here in case someone comes back," Hotch told him and headed for the back door.

Rossi shook his head and followed Hotch out the door. They walked to the SUV in silence. Chuck got out of the driver's seat and climbed into the back with Rat. Rossi noticed Chuck eyeing Hotch with concern. Then he looked at Rossi in the rearview mirror. Rossi shrugged slightly at the unasked question. Hotch was just sitting in the passenger seat looking down at his lap. Rossi's chest hurt for him. He knew Hotch was pissed when he found about what was in the notebook, but now it was like Hotch was shutting down. Rossi knew that if they didn't find out something soon, that Hotch might shut down completely, and that thought scared him. Hotch had been through so much already, and he had broken down a few times, but everything just kept piling up on top of him. Rossi was scared that Hotch would get buried underneath it all. Rossi shook his head. He knew Hotch was a strong man. _Hell, any other man wouldn't have been able to handle half of what Hotch has!_ Rossi also knew, though, that every man had a breaking point; and he was really beginning to think that Hotch was getting close to finding his.

Rossi noticed Chuck tense in the backseat and Rossi watched as a car going down the street slowed as it got close to the house. Chuck relaxed as it drove on by it. Rossi shook his head again. _We could really use a break here, God!_

XXX

After walking for thirty minutes, Kahlan was ready to turn back. While it felt great to be outside and really stretch her muscles, she was beginning to feel exhausted. She knew it would take time to build herself back up, but she wasn't worried about building herself back up completely. She just wanted to be in good enough shape to take out Hotchner. As soon as they rounded the corner at the top of the hill to the road to the house she put her arm out to stop Tony's forward momentum.

"What?" he asked her shocked by the sudden movement.

"Someone's watching the house," she told him quietly and pulled him behind a van that was parked along the street.

"What?!" Tony asked again as he looked around the van towards the house. "Where?" He asked clearly not seeing anyone.

Kahlan shook her head at him. "See that black SUV parked there on the street to the right?"

Tony looked and saw it. "Yeah?"

"See the other matching SUV up the block to the left?"

"Ohhh. . ." he said as he nodded. He could tell there were people in the SUVs watching the house. He glanced at Kahlan and she could see the look of shock mixed with admiration. "Who do you think they are?"

"I'd say by the government plates that they are FBI. Apparently my Agent Hotchner has found your safe house," she told him and he could tell she was pissed. "You do have somewhere else we can go, right?"

"Yeah, come on," he told her and started back the way they had come.

"Was there anything important in there?" She asked as she took one last look at the SUVs. She could only see the drivers, and she knew that neither one was Hotchner. As she walked away she wondered if Hotchner's whole team was dirty.

"Not really, but I will have to go back and get my car. They'll leave eventually."

XXX

Hotch leaned his head back to stretch his neck muscles. He caught a glimpse of long black hair on someone down the road as she turned the corner out of view. He shook his head. _Jesus Christ! Now I'm even seeing her._ He sighed heavily. _ Am I actually going crazy?_ He reached a hand up and massaged his temples. He was starting to get a headache, and he knew it was going to be a bad one.

After two hours and nothing to see, Rossi turned to Hotch. Hotch had his eyes closed, but Rossi knew he wasn't asleep. "Do you want to just set up police surveillance and head back to the hotel?"

Hotch looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "That's fine," Hotch told him simply.

"No way! Me and my boys will take care of that," Chuck told him from the back seat as he took out his phone. He didn't want to leave anything where Kahlan was concerned to anyone he didn't know personally and trust.

Rossi gave him a small smile and nodded. Chuck called Tom and told him what he wanted to do. About thirty minutes later, Tom pulled up in a late model sedan. Rossi had no idea where the vehicle had come from or how Tom had gotten it when he was in the other SUV, but he watched as Chuck and Rat got out and joined him. "I'll call if I see anything," Chuck told him and Rossi started the SUV.

"Call Morgan and tell him we're heading back to the hotel," Rossi told him and when Chuck nodded, he pulled away from the curb.

Rossi glanced at Hotch. "You want to stop and get something to eat?"

"I don't want anything, but you're welcome to stop wherever you'd like. You should call the team and have them meet you."

"You want to go back to the hotel?"

Hotch huffed. "Like you'd let me go alone."

"It's not that I don't want to let you be alone, Hotch. I just don't think you should be, but if you want some time alone, I understand."

Hotch reached up with a hand and rubbed his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I have a headache."

"I don't doubt it. You want to stop and get something for it?"

Hotch shook his head as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Rossi sighed, but Hotch's response didn't surprise him. "Will you at least eat something little if we stop?"

"Why? So I can throw up again? No, thank you."

"Hotch you can't keep going like this. You're not sleeping and now you're not eating. How do you expect to keep functioning if this keeps up?"

"I guess I'll go until I collapse."

"That's not funny!"

"I wasn't trying to be."

Rossi shook his head. "Do you want to go to the hotel?" He knew Hotch was getting physically and mentally exhausted. _Maybe some alone time would help him._

"Sure."

Rossi shook his head. Somehow, he knew the only thing that would really help Hotch was finding Kahlan. He drove to the hotel in silence, and when he pulled up to the door, Hotch got out without a word and headed for the door. "We'll be back in an hour or so," Rossi called to him and Hotch raised his hand to let him know that he heard him. Rossi watched as Hotch walked in and then he took out his phone to call Morgan. They decided to meet at the Denny's not far from the hotel.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

Hotch took off his Kevlar vest and sat down on his bed roughly. He leaned his head down and tried to stretch his neck muscles. _Where are you, Babe?_ He got up and started pacing. He knew he should lay down and try to relax, but he couldn't. He was physically exhausted, but he didn't want to think about the nightmares he would have if he actually fell asleep. His brows furrowed as his head pounded. _Maybe some Tylenol wouldn't hurt._ He got up and walked to the door. He knew there was a convenience store down the block. _And some coffee. I need something to keep me awake._

XXX

"Where's Hotch?" JJ asked as soon as Rossi joined them at the table.

"I took him to the hotel," Rossi told her as he sat down.

"What?!" Morgan half yelled.

"Why would you leave him alone? He could. . . he might. . ." JJ stammered.

"He's fine," Rossi assured them, but he could tell by the looks on their faces that they didn't agree. "Jesus, he just needs some time alone to process what's happened. It's not like he's going to go anywhere. We have both vehicles."

"He could call a cab or walk," Reid pointed out.

"And where would he go? He has no idea where Kahlan is. Are you afraid he'll just ride around and maybe actually find her?"

"While that would be awesome, I wouldn't want him to do it alone," Morgan told him as the waitress brought them their drinks.

"He's fine," Rossi told them again as he looked at their faces. "Jesus. If you are so worried about him, call Garcia and have her trace his cell. She'll tell you he's at the hotel."

JJ bit her lip as she considered it.

Morgan huffed, though, and took out his phone. He dialed her. "Hey, Baby Girl."

"How is my Chocolate Thunder? I'm really sorry boss man didn't find double-o."

"Yeah, we are, too. Do me a favor?"

"Of course!"

"Trace Hotch's cell."

"What? Why? Has something happened?" She asked quickly as he heard her typing on her keyboard.

"Calm down. We just want to make sure he's in the hotel like he's supposed to be."

"Oh." She brought up the screen and it started to zero in on Kokomo. "Ummmm."

"What?" Morgan asked desperately and put his phone on speaker. The whole table tensed at Morgan's actions.

"Well, unless your hotel is moving, I don't think Hotch is there."

"What?!" Rossi yelled as he stood up.

"He's still on the same street, but he is definitely moving," Garcia told them and they all jumped up.

"Is he moving fast enough to be in a vehicle?" Rossi quickly asked her.

"I don't think so."

Rossi looked at Morgan. "He's probably just taking a walk or something, but I'll go. You all stay here and get something to eat." JJ went to argue. "Bring me and Hotch something back. I'll call you as soon as I have him."

"Rossi. . ."

"If we all show up and all he's doing is trying to clear his mind, he's going to know we all don't trust him. It's better if it's just me." Morgan nodded. Rossi looked back towards Morgan's phone. "I'll call you, Kitten, if I need help finding him."

"Ok. I'll check traffic cams in the area, too," she told him and they heard the call end.

"Calm down, relax, eat, and recharge. Hopefully we get another lead, and we need at least half the team to be at their best if that happens," Rossi told them and they sat back down reluctantly. He gave them a small smile and headed to the exit.

XXX

Hotch opened the door to the convenience store and froze. Reflected in the glass was a woman with long black hair getting into a van. He let the door go and turned to look at the van just as the door shut. _That couldn't be. . ._ he thought as he started walking towards it, but it took off. He shook head and turned back to the store. _Get a grip Hotchner!_ He went in and found the pills and went to make himself the largest coffee they offered. He paid and walked outside. He opened the pills and took them with a drink of the coffee. As he messaged his forehead, he heard a vehicle pull up in front of him. He moved his hand and looked up to see Rossi sitting in the driver's seat of the SUV. Hotch shook his head as Rossi rolled down the passenger side window. "Really, Dave? You have Garcia keeping a trace on my phone?"

"What are you doing?"

Hotch held up the cup of coffee in his hand. Rossi gave him a small smile. "You can't even trust me to walk a block on my own?"

"I was worried. I'm sorry. You'll have to give an old man a break for caring. Get in."

Hotch sighed, but got in. "I know you care, Dave." Hotch shook his head. "Maybe you should be worried."

Rossi furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"I think I am actually losing my mind."

Rossi heart hurt to hear Hotch say such a thing. "What? Why?"

"I'm starting to see her."

Rossi's eyes got wide. "What?"

Hotch shook his head. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Rossi was worried that Hotch's fragile emotional state might actually be starting to fracture. "You just need to rest. Things will look better in the morning."

Hotch hung his head. "I can't. She'll be waiting," Hotch told him as his voice started to crack.

"She's waiting for us to save her?" Rossi asked as he tried to figure out what Hotch was saying. He was getting more worried.

Hotch shook his head. "No. She's waiting in my dreams. I can't go to sleep. I can't handle seeing her."

"You're afraid of more nightmares?"

"Even when they're not per say nightmares. I can't handle them anymore," Hotch told him and Rossi saw a tear escape Hotch's eye.

"Oh, Aaron. I know it's hard, but if you think not sleeping well is truly messing up your mind. . ." Rossi's phone went off. He took it out and saw it was Garcia. "Hey, Kitten. Don't worry, I found him," Rossi told her.

"No, Rossi! She was right there!"

"What?!" Rossi yelled as he quickly put the phone on speaker. Hotch half jumped at Rossi's reaction.

"I was checking the traffic cams for Hotch like I said," Hotch rolled his eyes and shook his head. "And right there at the light beside you. . . Kahlan was there!"

"What?!" Hotch yelled.

"She was in a van."

_Son of a bitch!_ "That was her!" Hotch yelled as he jumped out of the SUV and looked for the van.

"Can you follow it?" Rossi asked Garcia quickly. He could hear her typing as she cycled through any traffic cams she could find.

"It's still going north on the same road," Cameron's voice told him.

"Hotch! Get in!" Rossi yelled and Hotch jumped in. Rossi took off and got back on the street. "Call the team!"

"Already done. Garcia's leading them through town to try and get them in front of the van," Cameron told them.

Rossi hit the gas, but he didn't dare turn on the lights or sirens. He didn't want to give whoever was in the van an advanced notice of them coming up behind them. Rossi noticed Hotch getting mad as he was shaking his head.

"They're turning right on Virginia Avenue," Cameron told them with a laugh. "Kind of ironic, don't you think?"

"Yeah, and if there's a Quantico street I'll die," Rossi joked as he watched where he was going. He was quickly weaving in and out of traffic to try and get closer to the van.

"Your next right," Cameron told them.

Rossi quickly got into the right-hand lane.

"Call Chuck and let him know," Hotch told him.

"Already done. He's on his way about two miles behind you." Hotch smiled at the man's proficiency. He knew the man was good by what he had always accomplished with Kahlan, but he had never seen him work first hand. "Left on Maple Drive, three roads ahead."

Rossi nodded even though there was no way for Cameron to see him.

"If they stay straight on Maple, Morgan will be able to cut them off," Garcia told them. Hotch smiled. _Thank God!_ "No, no, no!" Hotch instantly knew they had turned. _Of course!_

"Right on Tennessee," Cameron told them. "Three streets up, Rossi." They could hear Garcia telling Morgan directions in the background. Hotch wasn't sure how they were directing Chuck, but he knew they were.

"Shit!" Hotch yelled as soon as he realized they were getting to the edge of town. There wouldn't be any traffic cams if they kept going.

"And they're gone," Cameron told them and Hotch could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Son of a bitch!" Rossi exclaimed but kept driving. Hotch hung his head. _I'm so sorry, Babe! Why didn't I realize it was you?_ Hotch grabbed his head. The pills he had taken weren't working on dulling his headache. Rossi saw a car coming up on him fast and realized it was Chuck.

Hotch's phone went off, so he dug it out of his pocket. "Yeah Chuck, we're still looking," Hotch told him as he saw Morgan's SUV at the corner ahead of them.

"I ran the plates on the van. It belongs to the man from the satellite photos. His name is Anthony Morris. I'm running everything on him now," Garcia told them all.

Hotch searched every road that they passed. A tear escaped him as he thought that he had lost her again.

"I'm checking satellites. Don't give up hope yet, Hotch," Cameron told him as if he could hear Hotch's thoughts.

"You want to pull over and see what they can find?" Rossi asked him. He knew there were too many connecting roads for them to search manually.

Hotch leaned his head back on the head-rest and nodded. Rossi saw a parking lot up ahead and signaled to let everyone know he planned on stopping. Hotch sighed deeply as Rossi pulled the SUV to a stop. Hotch heard the others pull up and then he heard several doors open. He knew they were all making their way to him, but his head was pounding so he didn't make a move to get out.

Rossi looked at him with concern. "Aaron?"

Hotch squeezed his eyes shut and put his head in his hand.

Chuck came up beside Hotch's door, but Rossi quickly shook his head to let him know not to open it. Chuck gave him a puzzling look, but one look at Hotch and he understood, so he moved away and kept everyone back, too.

"Is it just a headache?" Rossi asked quietly. He was truly worried about it being something worse.

Hotch took a couple deep breaths. "I think so." Hotch told him as he rubbed his temples. "Hell, I'll be lucky this whole thing doesn't kill me," he joked.

"That's not funny!"

Hotch winced at Rossi's yell, but looked at him. "That time I was trying to be," Hotch told him with a small smile.

Rossi shook his head at him. "You'll be lucky if I don't kill you!"

Hotch actually chuckled as he got out of the SUV. Everyone gave him sympathetic looks. "Cameron will find her," Hotch told them confidently, and they all visibly relaxed a little.

"Damn, what is it with you? It's like fate has it out for you," Chuck told him jokingly. The look of horror on Hotch's face made Chuck choke on his own breath. "What'd I say?" Hotch shook his head and turned to walk away from the group.

"You're an ass!" JJ told Chuck as she walked to Hotch.

"What'd I say?" Chuck asked desperately.

"The Reaper," is all Rossi said as he went to Hotch, too.

Morgan shook his head.

"Who?" Chuck asked clearly not knowing what they were talking about or why it had upset Hotch so much.

"George Foyet, the Boston Reaper, believed he was fate personified. He taunted Hotch with it," Reid explained.

"Shit!" Chuck said quietly. He knew who Foyet was from Kahlan telling him the story, but he didn't know about the whole fate thing. "I didn't know," he told them weakly and went to Hotch. "Hotch, man, I am so sorry. I didn't know," Chuck told him.

Hotch took a deep breath. He could tell Chuck was sincere. "It's alright. I know you didn't know. It just hit me wrong, that's all. You have no reason to apologize," Hotch told him and patted him on the shoulder and went back to the group.

Rossi gave Chuck a small smile. "Come on. Hopefully Cameron finds us something that will put him in a good mood."

Chuck looked at JJ. "JJ, I swear, I would never hurt Hotch's feelings on purpose, especially at a time like this."

JJ nodded and gave him a quick hug. "I know, it's just that was a really bad time for all of us, especially for Hotch."

"I'm sorry to have upset any of you. That was not my intention," he told her as they walked back to the group together.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Hotch leaned up against the SUV while holding his head. JJ walked up and leaned on the vehicle beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Headache," Hotch told her simply.

JJ knew the lack of sleep, stress, disappointments over not finding Kahlan, and Hotch's imagination were probably all making Hotch's head hurt. "You take anything?"

"A couple Tylenol."

JJ pushed herself off the side of the SUV and went and opened the back. She grabbed the first aid kit out of one of the compartments, opened it, and found the ibuprofen. She shook four into her hand and put the kit back. She went back to Hotch. "You have a drink?"

Hotch opened the door and reached in a grabbed the coffee he had bought. "You thirsty?" He asked her as he held the coffee out to her.

"No, but you need to take these," she told him as she held out the pills to him.

He sighed but took the pills from her and swallowed them with a drink. "Thanks, JJ."

She smiled and patted him on the arm as she walked back to the group.

Never taking an eye off Hotch, Rossi saw the exchange, and he gave JJ a smile as she walked up to Morgan. Rossi studied Hotch some more, and a thought suddenly hit him. He shook his head and walked over to his 'son'. "I think I know why you're worried about going crazy and why your head hurts."

Hotch opened his eyes and squinted them at Rossi. "Yeah, I know. I need to get some sleep. . ."

Rossi shook his head. "I don't think that's all of it."

"What else could it be? Or do you actually think I'm finally losing it?"

Rossi gave him a small smile. "You're still feeling sympathy pain for Kahlan."

Hotch tilted his head a little as he considered his words. If Kahlan's mind was truly messed up, maybe he was feeling the residual effects. While the thought of Kahlan's mind being messed up scared him, the thought of still having some connection to her made him actually feel better. A small smile found its way to his lips. "You always know how to make me feel better, Dave."

Rossi's smile grew at the compliment. "Don't worry, Aaron. We're getting close. I can feel it," he told him honestly.

"God, I hope so," Hotch told him. Suddenly his phone went off. He took it out of his pocket. It was Garcia. He held his breath as he pushed the speaker button and looked at Rossi.

"You're on speaker, Kitten," Rossi spoke for Hotch. Everyone heard and they all quietly joined them around the phone.

"We have a building not far from you all," Garcia started and they all tensed to head to their vehicles.

"You have the address on your GPSs now," Cameron told them.

"It's listed as being own by Daniel Morris, Anthony's father. It's not as big as that first building, but it's definitely bigger than a house," Garcia added.

"SAT is on it now, and the van is parked to the side of it," Cameron told them.

"That's awesome Cam! You too Pen!" Chuck told them as he smiled. They were all looking at Hotch waiting for him to give them the go ahead.

"Let's go!" Hotch told them and grabbed the door handle, they all smiled and ran to their appointed vehicles.

Rossi jumped in and started the SUV. "Where's your vest?"

Hotch winced. "At the hotel."

Rossi looked in the backseat to make sure his was still were he put it. "Put mine on."

"Jesus, Dave. It might just be that one guy and Kahlan. I'll be fine!"

Rossi grabbed his phone. As soon as he heard Garcia answer he put it on speaker. "Any way to get thermal imaging on that building to see what we're facing?"

Cameron chuckled. "That's coming online. I'll have an answer for you in like five minutes."

"You want to wait?" Rossi asked Hotch before he pulled out onto the road.

Hotch swallowed hard. _No! I don't want to wait!_ "Let's get close, and see how it goes from there."

Rossi nodded and lead the team down the road. Within minutes they turned down the last road on the map. Rossi slowed to a stop. He could tell by the map on the GPS that it was the only way in or out. Hotch gave him a nervous look. "You're either putting on that vest, or we're waiting to see how many people are in there," Rossi told him in a tone that told Hotch we was not going to accept any arguments.

Hotch shook his head and thought about jumping out of the vehicle without him. _No. I'm this close. I can't screw this up!_ Hotch nodded and resolved himself to wait to hear from Cameron.

Rossi watched him closely, he thought he saw a flicker of rebellion flash in Hotch's eyes, but Hotch just sat there and drummed his fingers on his legs.

"Here we go," Cameron started as soon as Rossi answered his phone and put it on speaker. "Looks like four people inside and three around the perimeter."

"What the hell?" They heard Chuck say and Hotch realized Garcia had connected them all.

"The only people I saw in the van were Kahlan and that Anthony guy," Garcia told them.

"Hey, Baby Girl, we got this," Morgan assured her as they could all hear the worry in her voice.

Rossi shot Hotch a look, though. He really didn't like the idea of Hotch going in without a vest after hearing from the techs.

"We got the perimeter," Chuck told them and Hotch could hear an excited 'yeah' come from Rat.

"You are to apprehend and detain only," Rossi told them.

"Damn it, Rossi. You take all the fun out of everything," Chuck joked, but Hotch knew Chuck wouldn't use lethal force.

"Can you tell where the doors are?" Reid asked Cameron.

"One on the south and one on the east."

"I do have SWAT on their way," Garcia told them hoping they would wait for back up.

"Morgan, Reid, JJ, you all take the east. Me and Dave will take the south," Hotch told them; he didn't want to wait. "Let's get a little closer then we'll approach on foot." Hotch gestured toward the building, and Rossi put the SUV in drive again and slowly went down the road toward the building.

Rossi glanced at Hotch out of the corner of his eye. He wondered what he'd have to do to get him to put the vest on.

Hotch glanced at Rossi out of the corner of his eye. He knew what he was thinking, and he was not going to take Rossi's vest. He would never allow Rossi to go on a raid without a vest. He was in charge and responsible for his whole team, and he was not going to let one of them endanger himself for him, especially Rossi.

"I wouldn't go any farther," Cameron told them and Rossi pulled to a stop.

Before Hotch could even open his door, Chuck, Tom and Rat ran past them to go secure the perimeter. Hotch shook his head.

"It would be nice having them along on some cases," Rossi told him as he came around the SUV. Morgan and the rest of the team joined them quickly. "Let's give them a minute or so," Rossi told them as he nodded to the men who had taken off down the tree line by the road. Rossi smiled as he noticed none of the team had their vests on.

"You all have your vests; you need to wear them," Hotch ordered.

"Sorry, man, but we left them at the hotel. If you want one of us to run back and get them, we'll wait," Morgan told him as he took his pistol out of its holster. Rossi tried to hide the smile that wanted to show as he took out his pistol.

"You all know that these men are armed," Hotch argued.

JJ took out her pistol. "So you want us to wait until we all have a vest, then?"

Hotch knew that she was referring to him having his vest, too. "Do you know how fast my ass will be in a sling if one of you get hurt?"

"I don't know about them," Reid started, "but I don't plan on getting hurt."

Hotch shook his head. They knew he didn't want to wait, but he was worried about one of them getting hurt because of it. He was also just a little proud to know they were all showing their loyalty to him by not wearing a vest either. He gave them his best Hotch stare and Reid actually took a step back. "Then you better pray you don't get hurt!" He told them and started for the building as he took out his pistol. He had to walk away quickly to hide the smile that came to his lips.

Hotch pulled out his phone after he felt it vibrate. Chuck sent him a text to let him know their targets had been silenced. Without vests, they didn't have their comm links. Hotch put his phone away as he waited for the team to join him. "I want you with us, Reid," Hotch told him. He wasn't sure why but something in him told him that Reid needed to be with him. Morgan gave him a puzzled look but shrugged. "Go," Hotch told him quietly, and Morgan and JJ took off. Hotch watched as they took off across the small parking lot. He knew it would take them just a few more moments to get to their door. Once they were far enough away, Hotch took off toward the south door with Rossi and Reid on his heels.

He got to the door and reached for the handle. _Of course it's locked!_ He waited and as soon Rossi nodded, he kicked the door in. As soon as he stuck his head in the door, a shot hit the door frame beside him.

"Son of a bitch!" Rossi yelled as he ducked and pulled Hotch back out of the door. Hotch pulled away from him and went back to the doorway. "Hotch!" Rossi yelled as he went to Hotch's side.

Hotch took a quick look in the door to see if he could see anyone.

XXX

Kahlan flinched when she heard the gunshot. "Really?!" she yelled and took off toward the room of the door she was in. Tony had left to go check on a few things, but she had no idea which way he had went; she hadn't even gotten a lay of the whole place yet. She thought the shot had come from the south side of the building, but she couldn't be sure. She knew Tony had guards on the place, and that he was a little worried after they had found that safe house had been compromised, but she had no idea what the guards abilities were. She didn't want to think about what would happen if Hotchner got his hands on her again.

She slowed her breathing as she crept along the wall of the hallway. _I knew I should have demanded a damn gun!_

XXX

Hotch didn't see anyone, so he took a chance and went in the door quickly and leaned on the wall opposite of the door. Rossi went in behind him and aimed his pistol the opposite way as Hotch. He didn't like the fact that they were open to attacks from both sides. Hotch took a tentative step forward and flinched as he heard a shot in the distance. He prayed that Morgan and JJ were alright.

Rossi saw Hotch flinch and it scared him to think of Hotch being so jumpy. _Hotch never flinches!_ "Which way?" Rossi asked him quietly.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Hotch told him but went down the hall the way he was facing. Rossi quickly caught up with him as Reid came in the door and kept an eye behind them. Hotch crept along the wall and stopped when he came to the next room. With a look to Rossi, Hotch quickly turned into the room and cleared it as Rossi took up post to keep an eye on the hallway in front of them.

Hotch came back out and Rossi took the lead as they crept along the hallway. Suddenly a man with an assault rifle came around the next corner and opened fire. Rossi and Hotch both shot simultaneously and the man went down. Hotch breathed heavily as he took in the bullet holes in the wall around his and Rossi's heads. Rossi ran up to the man and kicked the rifle away from him as he checked for a pulse. Rossi shook his head to let them know the man would no longer be a problem.

Hotch took the lead again. He came to a 'T' and took a quick glance both ways. With his gun held out in front of him, he decided to go to the left. The group silently made their down the hall. The hallway opened into a little room, and after quickly searching it, Hotch half sprinted across it to the hallway on the other side of it.

"Hotch!" Rossi yelled quietly as he tried to catch up with him.

Hotch didn't slow, though, as he headed into the next room.

Reid passed Rossi to get close to Hotch.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Hotch went around the next corner and came face to face with the woman whom he had been missing for so long.

"You!" Kahlan yelled as she lashed out quickly and grabbed Hotch's left hand using one of her signature moves. The pain dropped Hotch to his knees. Before he could even attempt to do anything, she had twisted his right hand, removed his gun from him, kicked him in the chest as she let his left hand go, and pointed his gun at him. Within seconds he went from being in control to sitting on his ass on the floor and about to get shot.

He raised his hands quickly in surrender. "Kahlan don't!" He yelled. She cocked the pistol as he noticed the coldest look he had ever seen cover her face. His chest tightened as he took in the massive bruise along the right side of her face.

Something about his voice made her heart quicken. _It must be fear from when he was holding me prisoner!_

"Kahlan, please wait!" Reid yelled as he ran into the big room and saw what was happening.

She looked at him like she had never seen him before, and it made his breath hitch in his throat. He noticed she looked at his gun. "Please don't," Reid pleaded as he put his gun back in its holster. That made her pause.

Hotch finally let out the breath he had been holding. To know she would pause at an unarmed man meant she was still the good woman he knew her to be. She coughed a small cough, one without opening her mouth, and Hotch realized she was sick and his stomach twisted.

"If you pull that trigger before you listen to what I have to say, you will regret it for the rest of your life." She just stared at him, but she kept the pistol pointed at Hotch. Reid took that as a cue to go on. "They have been messing with your mind. I know you are very intelligent, and I need you to answer a few questions for me if you can." She glanced at Hotch and then looked back at Reid and coughed again. "Can you tell me what the square root of 6241 is?" Hotch could tell she was trying to figure out if it was a trick or something.

"79."

"What is 10,206 divided by 18?"

"567," she said almost instantly.

"What the hell, Reid?" Rossi asked him from behind. He had tried to stay hidden from Kahlan's view.

"She needs to know her mind still works," Reid told him.

"Who said the famous 'Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow' soliloquy?"

She coughed but said, "Macbeth."

Rossi found himself smiling slightly; he knew the answer to that one.

"What year is it?"

"2012."

_Oh shit!_ Hotch thought. _The stuff in the notebook is true! God damn it!_

"You may not want to believe this, but it is 2016. Here, look at my phone," Reid told her as he took out his phone slowly and held it out for her to see the lock screen that showed the date and time.

"That can be changed," she told him coldly and coughed a few more times.

"While that is true, I promise you I have not changed it."

"Do I care?"

"I hope you do, because over three years have been stolen from you." He pointed at Hotch. "You know that man you are about to shoot," Reid told her slowly.

Hotch noticed her brows furrowed for just a split second as she looked at him. Then she laughed and that made her cough even more, and Hotch's heart broke a little. "It's true, Kahlan," Hotch told her tenderly. He could tell by the look on her face that she didn't believe him.

She laughed even more, and Hotch's heart skipped a beat. She wrapped her finger around the trigger and Hotch held his breath.

"Kahlan, wait!" Rossi yelled as he stepped closer.

Kahlan looked at him and squinted her eyes. Something about his face gave her the feeling she should know him, but she couldn't place him.

"Yeah, Kiddo, you know me," Rossi told her with a small smile. Hotch let out his breath, but it bothered him to think Kahlan might recognize Rossi but not him.

Hearing the word 'Kiddo' made her heart twinge.

"You may not remember right now, but you know us, all of us." Rossi told her as he gestured to everyone in the room.

"So you say." She told him coldly. She didn't like the confused feelings she was getting from looking at the older man, so she focused on the object of her hatred.

Rossi knew he was starting to lose her interest, so he thought quickly. "Do you remember Chuck?"

Kahlan's head snapped back to him, but she still held the pistol on Hotch. "What did you do to him?" She asked vehemently.

"Nothing! He's here!" Rossi looked at Reid. "Go get Chuck, quickly!"

Reid almost tripped over his own feet trying to leave the room fast enough.

"Kahlan, please!" Hotch pleaded.

"Shut. Up!" Kahlan told him with a look of abhorrence.

Hotch flinched at her tone and her look. He swallowed hard as he stared down the barrel of his own gun.

"Kahlan, please hear us out!" Rossi tried to get her attention again. He could tell she was seething with hatred for the man he thought of as a son, and it broke his heart. Rossi would never hurt the woman he had come to love as a daughter, but he couldn't let her hurt Hotch.

Suddenly Chuck rushed through the door. He quickly took in the situation. "God, Kay, don't!" he yelled as he ran up beside Rossi.

"Chuck?" Kahlan looked at him with confusion. "Why? You brought them here?" She couldn't figure out what her old partner was doing with these people.

"Of course," he started and the look of betrayal on Kahlan's face made him swallow hard. "I don't know what Mordecai has told you Kay, but it's all lies!"

Kahlan's look of confusion and disgust made Chuck want to hide in a hole. "Mordecai? You mean that dumbass who died in 2000?"

"He faked his death. He's the one behind all of this! He's the one who has been messing with your mind, Kay. These people are your friends. Put the gun down. You don't want to hurt him!" Chuck told her frantically.

"Yes I do!" She told him as she looked back at Hotch and level the gun at his head. "He needs to pay!"

Chuck shared a look with Rossi and then Hotch. "Pay for what?" None of them knew why Demitri had done that to her or what he had told her, but they were starting to understand.

"This son of a bitch killed Wyatt!" Kahlan said as she gripped the pistol harder.

Hotch looked pleadingly at Rossi and Chuck. He couldn't bring himself to speak, and he had the horrible feeling that his wife was about to kill him.

"No, Kay! Wyatt's fine!" Chuck yelled as he stepped a little closer. Now they knew why she was hell bent on killing Hotch, and it scared them all because they all knew how protective she was over her kids. Kahlan looked at Chuck and he knew she didn't believe him. "Kay, Wyatt is alive!"

She looked back at Hotch and then back to Chuck, confusion etched on her face.

"Hotch, you have a picture of Wyatt in your wallet, right?" Rossi asked him hoping physical proof would help.

She looked at Hotch and coughed. Hotch nodded. She didn't want to know why that man had a picture of her son, but she gestured with the pistol to let him know he could produce it. Hotch reached back for his wallet slowly. "Other hand!" she demanded.

"Ok," Hotch said quickly as he froze and held up his hand in submission. If she couldn't remember him, he wasn't sure how she knew he was left handed, but he tentatively reached back with his right hand and dug his wallet out of his left, back pocket and took it out slowly. He showed her the wallet and she nodded to let him know he could proceed. He opened it and searched for the latest picture he had of Wyatt. He pulled it out and held it out for her to see it.

She studied the picture with squinted eyes. After a few seconds, she shook her head. "No!"

"What?" Rossi asked quickly.

"That's not my little boy!"

"He's not so little anymore, Kay. Damn, he's gonna be bigger than Collin," Chuck told her with a smile.

_Shit! She thinks he's still eight!_ Hotch watched as she looked at Chuck. Her look of confusion and fear made his chest hurt.

"What?" She demanded explanation.

"Trust Chuck, Kahlan. Wyatt is alive!" Rossi tried.

"On my sister's grave, Kay," Chuck told her seriously.

That statement gave her pause. Hotch and Rossi both looked at Chuck questioningly. They had never known he had a sister, let alone that she was dead.

Suddenly Morgan came into the room dragging Tony by the arm. Two SWAT guys came in behind them. Kahlan's look of surprise quickly turned to hatred and she then pointed the pistol at Morgan, which made the SWAT guys aim their guns at her. "Let him go!" Kahlan demanded.

"Whoa! Everybody just calm down!" Chuck yelled as he kept looking back and forth between Kahlan and the SWAT guys.

Kahlan switched her aim back to Hotch. "Let him go, or he dies!" Tony smiled.

"Kahlan, just stop!" Rossi yelled desperately. He shot Morgan a look.

"I'm going to count to three," Kahlan told them.

"Kahlan, don't! Here," Morgan started as he took out his handcuff key.

"Don't let him go, Morgan. He's just as responsible as Demitri!" Hotch told him.

Kahlan kicked Hotch in the chest making him fall all the way to the floor. "No one told you that you could speak!" Hotch winced as his head hit the floor. He wasn't expecting her to kick him. He breathed heavily as he got back up into a sitting position slowly so he wouldn't make Kahlan feel threatened. He shot a worried look to Chuck.

"Why do you want to save him? He's the enemy, Kay!" Chuck told her.

"What? He's the one who saved me! I waited for you to come, but you didn't; I sent you that message." Chuck's heart was breaking at her words. "He came!" Kahlan yelled as she still held the gun on Hotch.

"No, Kahlan. That's just part of Demitri's plan," Chuck told her

"No it's not! He's apparently working with them now, Kay!" Tony told her.

"He's just as guilty for keeping you prisoner," Rossi told her.

Kahlan looked back and forth between Chuck, Tony, Rossi and Hotch. They could all tell she was trying to decide who to believe. Then she noticed Reid and JJ come into the room quietly.

"My God, Kay, you've known me since I was nineteen. You know I love you like a sister. Who are you going to believe, me or him?" Chuck pleaded with her.

Kahlan looked at Hotch. There was something about him she couldn't quite put her finger on, but she didn't sense he was a bad person. "You didn't kill my son?"

A look of relief washed over Hotch's face. "God, no, Kahlan. I would never hurt any child," he told her truthfully.

She looked back at Chuck and Rossi. "Wyatt's really alive? He's ok?" Kahlan asked quickly as she searched all of their faces.

"Yes, Kay, and you know him," Chuck told her as he pointed at Hotch.

"Don't listen to them, Kay. They're lying!" Tony yelled and Morgan went to grab him again. Kahlan's eyes turned cold, and she pointed the gun towards Morgan. Morgan froze.

She quickly looked at Chuck. Chuck's pleading look begged her to believe him. She took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. Everyone flinched. Morgan's look of shock made her smile. They all watched Tony fall to the ground, a bullet hole right between his eyes.

The SWAT guys jumped in front of Morgan and leveled their guns at Kahlan again.

"I'm tired of playing their games," Kahlan told them as she looked back at Chuck. Chuck nodded his approval.

Hotch moved to get up and she leveled the gun at him again. He froze and looked at her questioningly. "I know you remembered something when you saw me. I saw a flicker of recognition in your eyes," Hotch told her confidently.

She smiled coldly at him. "You're right. I did remember you, and your hand was wrapped around my throat!"


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

Hotch's face deadpanned. _Son of a bitch! Really, God? Of all the memories, why did it have to be that one?_ "I. . . I can explain!"

"Really?" she asked in a tone dripped with disbelief.

Hotch swallowed hard and licked his lips, but he wasn't sure how to explain; so he looked at Rossi pleadingly.

"That was just a misunderstanding when you two first met," Rossi told her quickly.

"I bet," she told him sarcastically.

"Think about it, Kay. If you truly felt threatened when that happened, would he still be alive today?" Chuck asked her.

Hotch shot him a look. He wasn't sure that was going to help his situation, but he saw Kahlan's brows lift as she considered it. "Wyatt is safe at home with Jack and Joey, his siblings," Hotch tried to appeal to the mother in her.

She gave him an evil look. "Don't talk about my son."

"He's like a son to me, too," Hotch told her. Her look of disgust made his heart sink.

"No Hotch, she won't believe you. You have to prove you know her," Reid explained quickly when it looked like she was about to squeeze the trigger.

Hotch looked at Reid questioningly.

"Tell her things you know about her, Hotch," Rossi clarified.

Kahlan looked at Rossi sharply and coughed some more. Rossi didn't like the look in her eyes; they looked vacant.

"Ok," Hotch started. "Uummm. . . You were born at Ft. Carson. Your dad was a drill sergeant in the army." She turned to stare at him. "Your. . . Your family got its first Doberman when you were in kindergarten. His name was Satan, and your dad used to play tug-of-war with him. By the time he was full grown, he was strong enough to pull your dad out of his chair."

Rossi had never heard Hotch speak so quickly, but Rossi noticed Kahlan's finger relaxing a little, and he prayed for Hotch to keep going.

"Aaaaa. . . Your. . . You moved around a lot, and your only real friend growing up was your cat, Winston. But you decided to call him, Kid, because you watched 'Star Wars' so much and that's what. . . What. . ." He looked at Reid. "Harrison Ford's character?"

"Han Solo," Reid told him quickly.

"Yeah," he said as he looked back to her. She brought her left hand up to her mouth and coughed harder. "You called him, Kid, because that's what Han Solo called Skywalker," Hotch to a second to swallow. "And you had him until your senior year. You had to put him to sleep the week after your prom, and you cried for a week straight." Hotch noticed that her eyes were softening. "You were a big tomboy. You played with Star Wars, GI Joes, and cars instead of dolls."

Kahlan looked at him. "How could you know. . ." she had to stop to get over a coughing fit, but she never took the gun away from Hotch.

"Your favorite actor is Harrison Ford. Your favorite color is black. Your favorite holiday is Halloween. You make paper mache pumpkins, and you have this spider that jumps at people and makes creepy noises, and you built a mausoleum out of Styrofoam. . ."

"He knows your whole family, Kay!" Chuck told her trying to help.

Kahlan's face turned hard again. "You've done something to one of my sisters?"

"No I didn't! I swear, just give me a chance to prove it!" Hotch pleaded.

Hotch could tell Kahlan was warring within herself. She turned away from him and he jumped up. His movement made her turn back and she advanced on him. She held the pistol to his chest, right over his heart. Hotch sucked in his breath. Everyone froze, and sweat beaded up on Hotch's forehead.

"Kahlan, no! You not only know him, he's your husband!" Rossi finally had to tell her.

Kahlan looked at him quickly. They could all tell she was trying to remember as she twitched her head back and forth between the two men.

"Please." Hotch begged. He saw something flicker behind her eyes. "Let me prove to you that you love me as much as I love you." He swallowed hard. "If I can't convince you of that, then I will let you shoot me because if can't convince you of that, I don't want to live without you."

She took a tentative step back, and Hotch heard a collective releasing of breaths from everyone in the room.

Hotch tried desperately to figure out what he could say; what she had shared with him that she hadn't shared with her sisters. Hotch's silence was scaring Rossi. He wasn't sure how long Kahlan would let him stand there. Suddenly, a smile crept across Hotch's face. Kahlan gave him a look that said 'bring it on' and stifled another cough.

"You named your son Wyatt Christopher. . ."

"And anyone who can read would know that," she snapped.

"But you told me where you got the name from."

Kahlan froze; the look on her face was a mix between curiosity and apprehension. "Where?"

Hotch smiled. "From the show 'Charmed' after the witch's two sons."

"No," she said as she looked at him and then to Rossi and Chuck. Rossi wasn't sure, but he thought he saw some fear in her eyes as she had another coughing fit.

Hotch balked. _Did she lie about it?_ "You told me you had never told anyone that because you didn't want your sisters giving him shit about it as he grew up." Kahlan swallowed hard, and Hotch knew he was starting to crack the shell that had been built around her heart and mind. "And you also told me what you wanted to name your first daughter." Kahlan turned her head a little as her hand holding the gun began to relax and lower. "You wanted to name her Jaqueline Marie, after some night time soap opera your mother used to watch when you were young. You wanted her nickname to be Jack or Jackie."

"Falcon Crest," she said softly.

"But you didn't name her that. _We_ named _our_ daughter using your second choice." That made her flinch. Her eyes started darting around, and Hotch could tell she was trying to recall something. "We couldn't use your first choice because my son's name is Jack. The eight year old boy you accepted as a son after we were married over three years ago."

She put her hand to her head as she squeezed her eyes shut and groaned.

Rossi wanted to yell and tell Hotch to keep going, but Hotch seemed to be more worried for Kahlan than he was worried about convincing her that he was who he claimed to be.

Hotch slowly walked up to her. He grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her head. She finally looked at him again. "We named her Angelique Josette after another soap opera that your mother watched, and it had witches and vampires in it."

"Dark Shadows," she said in a whisper. She blinked several times and Hotch could see the recollection starting in her eyes. He slowly reached down and took his pistol out of her hand. "Kahlan, your daughter and your sons are at home, and they miss their mother."

She took in a shaky breath, and he could see the tears forming in her eyes; but he could still see doubt in them.

He smiled widely, letting his dimples show. "And I miss my wife."

She took in his face slowly as she blinked several times; she knew those dimples. "Aaron?" Her voiced cracked.

Hearing her say his name broke him and his own tears threatened to fall. He nodded and tried to pull her into a hug. She pulled back, though; she wouldn't let him hold her. "Kahlan?" She coughed and started to cry. He didn't press her; he had found her and she was alive, and that was enough for right then. He knew she would still have a lot to get through, but he knew she could to it. If she could go from wanting to kill him to actually knowing him, then he knew she would be alright eventually.

Kahlan looked at Chuck and then turned to Hotch with a pleading look. "Can I get out of here now, please?"

"Of course," he told her as his heart tightened at the frightened look on her face. He looked at Rossi.

"Follow me," Rossi told her with a smile and led her out of the building with Hotch following close behind. Chuck quickly brought up the rear.

The SWAT guys were standing there looking at Tony's body, still in shock over everything they had witnessed. The ranking officer looked at Morgan. "She didn't even aim."

Morgan raised his brows. "She did, but she did it so fast that we just didn't see it."

"And she's a good guy?"

Morgan chuckled lightly. "I sure hope so."

"While I don't think she wants to kill Hotch anymore, I think this is far from over," Reid confessed and started out of the room.

Morgan ran his hand over his head and looked at JJ. JJ had teared up because of the scene that had played out in front of them. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here," Morgan told her as he put his arm around her and pulled her out of the room.

XXX

Kahlan looked at the ambulance and all the cop cars apprehensively. Their flashing lights bright in the darkened night made her flinch. "You need to go to the hospital to get checked out," Rossi told her as he gestured to the waiting ambulance.

"No," she told him as she shook her head and tried to hold back a cough.

"Kahlan, please, you're obviously sick," Chuck tried reasoning with her.

"No," she said more forcibly as her brows knitted together.

"Ok," Hotch told her before she got any madder. "Come on, the hotel's not too far away."

She nodded and followed him to the SUV. Rossi shook his head but followed them. Chuck joined them and quickly got in the front passenger seat, so Hotch could set in the back with Kahlan. Rossi got in to drive after Morgan nodded to let him know he would take care of everything there.

Kahlan stared out the window. Hotch stared at her. He wanted to grab her and tell her everything would be alright, but he knew he couldn't push her. With everything that she had been through, Hotch knew she wouldn't want physical contact. Rossi watched them in the rear view mirror as he drove. He reached up and turned on the radio. Kahlan flinched. "Please turn that off," she pleaded. Chuck quickly shut it off. Rossi shared a worried look with Hotch; normally she would be begging them to turn it on. They drove the rest of the way in silence except for Kahlan's coughing. The sight of her body being racked with coughs was breaking Hotch's heart.

Once they pulled up to the hotel, Hotch jumped out and opened Kahlan's door and extended his hand to her. She looked at him, but took his hand as he helped her out of the vehicle. Rossi gave him a small smile. Hotch turned and led her to his room. He opened the door and stood back to let her enter it.

"Hotch," Rossi called for him.

Hotch watched Kahlan go into the room and sit down in one of the chairs. He didn't want to leave her alone, but he knew Rossi wanted to talk to him in private. Chuck picked up on his hesitation and went into the room to join her. Hotch shut the door and walked down the hallway with Rossi. "Hotch," Rossi paused to figure out exactly how to say what was on his mind.

"Just say it, Dave."

Rossi nodded. "Do you think she's ok?"

Hotch's brows furrowed as he studied Rossi's face. "Are you asking if I think she still wants to kill me?"

Rossi sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I'm worried that she's just pretending to get you alone."

Hotch looked to the room as if he could see through the door. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I. . ." he licked his lips. "I don't think so, but I don't think she trusts me. I don't think she really knows me."

Rossi could tell by Hotch's tone that it was breaking his heart to admit that. "You sure you don't want one of us to stay with her instead of you? Maybe you should let Chuck stay with her."

"No. I need to be there for her."

"And if it's not safe for you to be with her?"

"Then I will deal with that if it happens."

Rossi could tell Hotch was getting mad. "Alright Aaron, but I think you should give me your pistol." Hotch gave Rossi a defeated look, reached back, took off his pistol and holster, and handed it to him. "Keep your phone close."

Hotch nodded and went into the room. With a questioning look at Chuck, he wondered where Kahlan had gone.

"She's in the bathroom. She wouldn't talk to me. I'm sorry, Hotch," Chuck told him. "It's like she's shut down or something," Chuck told him as he patted Hotch on the shoulder and left the room.

Hotch sighed deeply and went to the bathroom door; he could hear the shower running. "Kahlan?" When she didn't answer, he knocked. She still didn't answer and fear started rising in his chest. He grabbed the handle and thanked God it wasn't locked. He opened the door slowly and realized the bathroom was full of steam. He found her sitting on the floor of the tub with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She was still in her clothes. He thought she was crying. "Oh, Babe," Hotch said tenderly and went to her. He knelt down next to the tub. "Talk to me. Tell me what I can do." He wanted to put his arms around her, but he wasn't sure how she'd react. "Please," he pleaded. He wasn't even sure she heard him or not. He reached up and shut the water off and realized it was basically straight hot.

"I'm so cold," she finally told him.

"Come on, let's get you dried off and into some warm clothes." He reached out for her, but she just sat there. He took a deep breath and reached in to pick her up preparing himself for her to lash out at him; she didn't, and he noticed she was a lot lighter than she used to be and it made his chest tighten. He carried her into the closest bed and sat her down and went back into the bathroom to get the towels. He pulled her shirt off of her and winced at the bruises on her. The bile in his stomach wanted to come up, but he forced it down. _You're lucky you're already dead, you son of a bitch!_ He wrapped a towel around her and stood her up to take off her pants. He wasn't sure which was scarier, seeing her holding his pistol on him wanting to kill him or seeing her as the empty shell of the woman she used to be. He finished undressing her, dried her off, wrapped one of the blankets around her, and got her clothes out of her bag and a sweat shirt out of his go-bag. He dressed her and realized she was shivering. He rubbed her arms and legs to try and warm her up, but he wasn't sure if it was real cold she was feeling or not. "Come on, let's get you laid down," he told her as he guided her to the other bed and pulled back the covers so she could climb in. Thankfully she did. He pulled the blankets up around her shoulders and even pulled the blankets off the other bed to put over her.

She immediately curled herself into a ball. He sat down beside her and gently rubbed circles on her back as tears silently made his way down his cheeks. _Come on, Babe. You can get through this. You have to get through this! _She hadn't coughed in a while and he thought that maybe it was just something in that building, but as her breathing evened out; he could hear and feel the congestion in her chest. Once he was sure she was asleep, he got up and changed out of his wet clothes. He walked over to the heater and turned it up on high. Then he sat down on the bed by her again, and leaned his back against the wall and put his hand on her back, hoping the contact would do her as much good as it was doing him. She flinched when he touched her, though, so he quickly withdrew his hand. _God, Babe, I'm so sorry for what that monster did to you._ He reached over and turned off the light.

Hotch's phone vibrated. He picked it up and opened the message. It was Rossi wondering how things were going, so he told him she was asleep. 'Good' Rossi texted and then told him he would see him in the morning. Hotch put the phone down and shut his eyes.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Hotch woke up with a start. He frantically searched the room to see what had woken him, and grimaced when he realized Kahlan was having a nightmare. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Shhhh. You're safe now," he told her quietly.

Her eyes shot open, and she about fell out of bed trying to get away from him.

"I'm sorry!" Hotch said quickly as he jumped up. He had no idea what he had done to scare her.

She scooted as close to the headboard as possible and looked around the room frantically, breathing heavily. She stifled a hard cough.

"You were having a nightmare. I was just trying to comfort you," Hotch told her quickly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Kahlan looked at him, as she teared up.

Hotch wanted to die. To think he had caused the look of fear on her face was horrible. "Please, Kahlan. If I've done or said anything to scare you, I didn't mean to. Tell me what I did so I don't do it again," he told her tenderly as he moved to sit down on the bed.

She watched him closely as she shook her head. She coughed, but she didn't say a word.

Hotch wanted to crawl into a hole. "I'm sorry, Kahlan." He tried to get her to feel comfortable, and he started having second thoughts about not letting Chuck stay with her. He noticed her eyes trying to shut again. "Please lay back down. I won't touch you again," he told her as he stood up again.

She looked away from him but scooted back under the covers and turned on her side to face the wall.

Hotch sat down on the other bed and dropped his head into his hands. He wept silently because he wasn't sure he would be able to help his wife get through everything she had experienced as the hands of the psychopath. He heard her cough a couple more times, but he knew she eventually feel back to sleep. He knew that they had used sleep deprivation techniques on her, and he knew that with the circles under her eyes that they had probably been doing it the whole time they had her. He also knew, though, the only real recovery for torture like that was sleep, and he figured Kahlan needed a lot of it.

She also kept moaning and groaning in her sleep, and his heart ached because he knew she was in pain with every movement she made. He kicked himself mentally for not siding with Rossi and Chuck about her going to the hospital, but he was so scared about her getting mad at him, that he had ignored his better judgment.

XXX

Hotch awoke to his phone vibrating. He grabbed it and as his eyes finally focused, he realized it was already morning. Rossi wanted to know if he was up and how the night went.

'She's still asleep, but it was a bad night,' Hotch told him through texting.

'You want to take a break? Chuck says he'll come and sit with her.'

Hotch considered it. 'Alright,' he told him mainly because he knew Rossi probably wanted to see and talk to him in person. He got up and went to open the door quietly. Then he put his shoes on; he wasn't worried about actually getting dressed because he knew Rossi would just want to talk in Rossi's room.

Chuck came into the room with a bag in his hand. With one look at Hotch, he could tell Hotch had had a rough night.

"What's that?" Hotch asked him quietly.

"If she's not going to go to the hospital, then I brought the hospital to her," he told him with a smile.

"What?"

"Antibiotic, cough syrup, and pain meds. She needs them weather she wants to admit it or not."

Hotch smiled. He had no idea how Chuck had gotten the medicine, but he had stopped trying to figure out where they had gotten the stuff they did a while ago. "She needs to sleep, too." Just then Kahlan groaned as she shifted in her sleep.

"Don't worry. I'll wake her just enough to take it and let her go back to sleep."

"Be careful. I touched her as she was having a nightmare and she about flipped out," Hotch told him sadly.

Chuck gave him a small smile. "She's get through this, Hotch."

Hotch nodded slowly and went to the door. He rubbed his hands down his face as he slowly walked down the hall. Suddenly he realized he had no idea which room Rossi was staying in because Rossi had been staying with him. He really didn't want to answer anyone else's questions, so he took out his phone to text Rossi to find out which room; but Rossi opened the door he had just passed. "Hotch?" Hotch turned around and silently went into the room. Rossi shut the door behind him and watched as Hotch sat on the bed roughly. He would never admit it, but he was beyond relieved that Hotch was alive, but as he studied his friend, his heart ached for him. "That bad huh?"

Hotch nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. I really thought things would be easier once we found her and she was back with me."

Rossi sat down on the bed opposite him. "Chuck got medicine. Hopefully that will help."

"It's not just her being sick. She's got severe PTSD," Hotch told him quietly.

"You're not surprised by that are you?" They all knew she had been tortured and raped, but Rossi suspected that Hotch was starting to believe what Demitri had told him. Rossi had prayed that it wasn't true, but seeing and hearing Hotch was making him believe it, too. "Has she talked to you?"

Hotch shook his head. "She hasn't said one word except last night." Hotch hung his head. "When I went into the room last night, I found her sitting in the tub in her clothes with the shower on."

Rossi's heart wanted to break. He knew how bad it must have been for Hotch to see his wife so broken. He was glad he hadn't seen it because he thought Kahlan was one of the strongest women he knew, and if she was that broken, then maybe what Demitri said was true.

"She said she was cold," Hotch told him without looking at him.

"If they'd kept her cold the whole time, I can see why she wants to get warm."

Hotch rubbed his eyes. "I really thought I could find her, get her home, and that everything would be alright."

"It'll take time for her to get over what's she's gone through. You didn't really think she would just get over it, did you?"

Hotch huffed. "A small part of me did. She's so strong. . . I guess I thought if anyone could, it would be her." Hotch finally looked Rossi in the eyes. "I think seeing the kids would help her, but I'm afraid of how they would be affected if they saw her like this."

Rossi knew children of people with severe PTSD often suffered some form of it themselves as they watched their parent try to cope. "You probably need to give it a couple days. Maybe we should head home. You two could stay at my place or something and just take it day by day to see how things go. Do you think she would get into counseling?" Rossi asked but he sure he already knew the answer was no. Kahlan was just like Hotch in so many ways.

"I don't know. Before this, Kahlan would just as soon deal with anything on her own, but I'm not sure how she'll react to this." Hotch sighed deeply as he rubbed his eyes again. Rossi knew he hadn't slept well, again. "I'm not even sure she remembers it all. When I touched her last night to try and calm her during a nightmare, she almost hurt herself trying to get away from me," Hotch started as his eyes teared up. "But the look on her face told me she wasn't sure why she was scared."

Rossi got up and sat next to him He put his hand on his back. "Oh, Aaron, I am so sorry." Rossi knew Hotch was having conflicting emotions over it. He wanted her to remember him and the life they had, but he also knew Hotch didn't want her to remember being in Demitri's clutches. Rossi wasn't sure one could be done without the other, though. "We will help her through this, Aaron. If anyone can get past this, it's Kahlan," Rossi tried to sound confident.

Hotch nodded weakly.

"She's sleeping, right?"

Hotch looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah. She needs to."

"I know that," Rossi assured him. "Why don't you stretch out here and try to grab a couple hours. Chuck's got her."

Hotch sighed again. "She's probably better off with him anyway."

Rossi knew that broke Hotch's heart to say that. "I don't think so, but if she's sleeping, it doesn't matter who's in the room with her." He patted Hotch's back and stood up. "Come on. Try to relax. I'll get you if she needs you."

Hotch nodded. He knew everything was really starting to take a toll on him. He kicked off his shoes and laid down. "Give me an hour."

Rossi nodded as he threw the blanket on him. "I'll bring you back something to eat," Rossi started but knew Hotch was already dozing off. He smiled sadly, pulled the blanket up to Hotch's shoulders, and quietly left the room.

XXX

Hotch stretched as he woke up. He was surprised to have actually fallen asleep, but he was really surprised to actually feel rested. He looked at his watch and jumped up. It was after four in the afternoon. He quickly grabbed his phone and noticed that someone had put it on silent. He sighed heavily because he knew it had been Rossi. There was also a text from him telling Hotch that they were at the police station wrapping everything up. There were also several texts from Chuck: one every hour, on the hour, to let Hotch know that Kahlan was still sleeping and actually resting better since he had gotten her to take the meds twice so far.

A small smile made its way to his lips. He was hoping that Kahlan would be a little better after she got some much needed sleep. He sat back down and thought about the kids. He knew they were waiting to hear whether or not he had found their mother, but he wasn't sure what to tell them. Once they knew she was found, they would be dying to talk to her and want her back home, but Hotch knew she wasn't in any shape to be doing either one. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew Wyatt would understand Kahlan needing some time, and he was pretty sure Jack would understand, too. It was Joey who worried him the most. That's why he had wanted to keep it all from her in the first place, but she had figured it out. He drummed his fingers on his leg. He thought about telling everyone and trying to keep it hidden from his daughter, but he wasn't sure that would work. _Why does she have to be so smart?_ Hotch chuckled. _Cause she's just like her mother!_

Hotch heard the door open and looked to find Rossi coming in.

"Hey, you're up," Rossi told him with a smile.

Hotch nodded. "Yeah, I guess my mind finally decided to let me sleep."

"Knowing she's safe has to be a good feeling, even though I know she still has a way to go. What are you doing?" He asked as he looked at Hotch's phone and handed him a large cup of coffee.

"I was thinking about calling the kids."

Rossi sat down beside him and put his hand on his back. "No need. I talked to them through video chat this morning."

"What? What did you tell them? How did they handle it?" Hotch asked quickly.

"Calm down." Rossi told him seriously. "I told them that Kahlan was safely back with us, but that you two needed some time together, and that you all would call them as soon as you could. I warned them it might be a couple days, but they were fine with it. I think they were so happy to know that we had found her, that they wouldn't care how long they have to wait to see her," Rossi told him with a smile. He noticed Hotch relax a little. "And they all told me to tell you and her that they love you and that they miss you."

"How did Joey take it?"

"Like the trooper I knew she would be."

Hotch smiled. "She was the main one I was worried about. You didn't tell them. . ."

"Nothing to scare them. I think the boys could read between the lines, but they didn't let on about it or ask any questions."

"Good. Thanks, Dave. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough."

Rossi reached around Hotch with the arm he already had on his back and gave him a quick squeeze. "There's no need to thank me; they are almost as much my family as they are yours." Hotch smiled and took a drink of the coffee.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Hotch got up. "I'm going to go check on her and get dressed."

"And then I'm taking you to go get something to eat," Rossi told him as he stood up, too. Hotch just looked at him. "You haven't eaten since two days ago and you threw that up. You need to eat," Rossi told him in a tone that told him not to argue.

Hotch ran a hand down his face. "With as light as she was, I don't think Kahlan's been eating a whole lot either."

"And that's partly the reason why she's sick, and unless you want to share that with her, too, you are going to eat. We'll bring her something back," Rossi told him with a smile.

"Yeah, hopefully she'll wake up soon," Hotch told him and headed to his room.

He opened the door quietly and saw that Kahlan was still sleeping. Chuck jumped up and went to Hotch. "She just took the meds again, but I think they're helping," Chuck told him quietly.

"Good. I can't thank you enough for all of this, Chuck."

"No need to thank me, Hotch. You know I love you guys like family."

Hotch gave him a small smile. "Can you stay for a while longer? Rossi wants me to go eat something."

Chuck gave him a smile. Rossi had already texted him his plans. "Sure. Take as long as you need to. I think she'll probably sleep for a while longer anyway. No need to worry; I'll call you as soon as she wakes up," Chuck assured him.

Hotch patted him on the shoulder, grabbed his bag, and went to the bathroom to change. He finally emerged freshly shaven and dressed. "You want us to bring you back something?" Hotch asked him as he put on his shoes.

"Sure, grab me a burger or something."

Hotch nodded and then looked at Kahlan. He sighed deeply. He so wanted to go over and touch her, hug her, kiss her - anything; but he knew he couldn't and his heart ached.

Chuck patted him on the back. "Don't worry, you'll be able to hold her soon," Chuck told him.

"God, I hope so, but I'm not sure she'll ever want me to hold her again," Hotch told him as his eyes watered.

"Yes she will. She will get through this, Hotch. I promise."

Hotch nodded; he wished he could be as optimistic as Chuck.

XXX

Later that evening, Hotch was watching tv as he laid on the bed not occupied by Kahlan. The volume was turned almost all the way down as he watched animal planet. He smiled as he watched the family of bears because he figured Joey was probably watching the same thing.

The team had joined him and Rossi for an early dinner, and he had agreed to head home the next day barring any difficulties from Kahlan. They had also given him advice on how to handle her, and Hotch gladly listened because he truly was at a loss.

"Where's Chuck?"

Hotch startled to actually hear her voice; he hadn't realized she was awake. "He's in his room," Hotch told her quickly as he stood up.

Kahlan sat up as scooted her back against the headboard. She studied the man standing in front of her.

"Do you need me to get him?"

She shook her head as she got up and went to the bathroom. Hotch heard her lock the door and his heart sank. He thought about texting Chuck and getting him to come anyway. He heard the toilet flush and Kahlan emerged;

Hotch noticed she looked a little unsteady. "Are you hungry? I brought you some chicken. . ." he started and she flinched and looked at him as if he were about to attack her. "What?" Hotch went to step closer to her but she tensed as if ready to attack him; he froze. "What did I do?" Hotch asked her desperately.

She glanced toward the door, and Hotch could tell she wanted to run. He wasn't sure what he would do if she did. The team had told him to make sure he was as accommodating as possible, and Hotch would never consider himself a coddler, but he would do whatever was needed to help his wife. He wasn't sure how to react, though, if she wanted to run.

"Please talk to me. Tell me what you want or need me to do," Hotch told her softly. She just stared at him, and then he noticed her looking at her bag. "I brought you some of your things."

She studied him some more. Finally she went to her bag, grabbed it, and headed back to the bathroom.

Hotch sighed heavily and sat down on the bed as he shook his head. He heard her lock the door again. He took out his phone and texted Chuck. 'Kahlan's awake. I think there's something wrong, but she won't talk to me. Would you come and see if she'll talk to you?'

'Yeah. Give me a minute.'

Hotch heard the shower running. 'I think she's taking a shower, so take your time.'

'K'

'I don't think she wants to be around me.'

'Don't say that.'

Hotch huffed. _What else am I supposed to think?_

Chuck knocked on the door before Kahlan had finished in the bathroom. "She still in there?" The shower was off, but she hadn't come out yet.

"Yeah. I get the feeling she's afraid of me," Hotch admitted.

Chuck shook his head. "Why would she be afraid of you?"

"I don't know. Every time I say anything. . . I don't know, but I thought she was going to run for it there for a minute."

"Damn it. What do we do if she does? We can't let her disappear on us again. . ."

"So we're going to keep her prisoner. . ." Hotch started and then realized Kahlan was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. _Son of a bitch! Why does she always have to be so damn quiet?!_ He noticed her hands were balled into fists. "Kahlan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"We would never do anything like that," Chuck assured her. Kahlan huffed. "Kay, come on. Talk to us."

She looked back and forth between the two men, and Hotch noticed her eyes watering.

"Do you want me to leave?" Hotch asked her quickly.

She moved her head a little and Hotch thought she was shaking her head to say 'no', but he wasn't sure. He realized he was blocking her from the bed she had been sleeping in, so he backed up next to the wall. He hoped that giving her space would make her feel less threatened.

"Kay?" Chuck tried.

She looked at him and he thought she was going to actually say something, but she just walked to her bed. She kept glancing at Hotch. She sat down on the side by the wall, put her elbows on her knees, and put her head in her hands. Hotch thought she was crying, and his heart broke some more.

"Damn it Kay! Look at me!" Chuck yelled as he stepped towards her.

Hotch noticed Kahlan flinch at the yell, and she looked at Chuck with wide eyes.

"Just let her go, Chuck," Hotch told him.

"No I'm not! She just wants me here so she can feel comfortable!"

Kahlan flinched with every yell, and Hotch was getting pissed. "Chuck." Hotch's tone was low, but he knew Chuck heard him.

"No Hotch! That ain't Kay! The Kay I know and love wouldn't just close in on herself!"

Kahlan tensed and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Chuck! I swear to God! If you don't stop!" Hotch half yelled as he stepped towards him.

"You'll what, Hotch? You think you're big enough to stop me?"

Kahlan cringed at the noise.

"Get out!" Hotch yelled. He knew Chuck was scaring Kahlan and it was breaking his heart to see her like that.

Chuck advanced on Hotch as he glanced at Kahlan. "Why don't you try and make me?" He asked Hotch as he pushed him back roughly with a shove to his chest.

Kahlan's head snapped up at the sound of the scuffle.

Chuck noticed and pushed Hotch again. "You just want to let her sit there! You should be making her face what's happened!" Chuck yelled.

"Leave her alone!" Hotch yelled back.

"Make me!" Chuck yelled as he pushed Hotch against the wall roughly and held him there.

"Get off me!" Hotch yelled as he struggled to get out of his grasp.

"I should kick your ass! It's your fault she's like this!" Chuck told him as Hotch tried to push him away, but Hotch was too weak from everything that he had been experiencing. The hurt in Hotch's eyes almost broke Chuck's heart.

"Leave him alone!" Kahlan yelled as she stood up.

Chuck and Hotch both looked at her with surprise. "What? You don't want me to hurt him like this?" Chuck asked as he shoved Hotch up against the wall again.

"Let him go, or so help me!" Kahlan told him as she advanced on him. The look she was giving him would normally have scared Chuck, but his heart jumped for joy. He turned to her but kept his left hand fisted in Hotch's shirt. "Does it piss you off that I'm bothering your man?" He watched as she balled her hands into fists.

She took another step forward. "Charles! If you don't let him go. . ."

"You don't want me doing this?" Chuck asked her as he used his one hand and bounced Hotch off the wall again. He saw her shoulders tense. "See, you do know him, and you love him enough to want to protect him!"

Hotch watched her eyes dart around and he knew she was remembering something. He finally understood what Chuck was doing; he was trying to bring out her protective instincts. Hotch smiled mentally but struggled to get Chuck's hand off of his chest.

Kahlan watched Hotch struggle and her whole body tensed to strike.

Chuck noticed. "What? You gonna hit me again, Kay?" he asked her as he let go of Hotch and turned to face Kahlan; leaving himself wide open for her strike. Kahlan paused, though, and Chuck's heart sank. She tilted her head a little and blinked several times. "Go ahead, hit me!" Chuck yelled as he hit himself in the chest. "I know you want to!"

Kahlan's eyes started to tear up and her breathing turned ragged. Hotch's stomach tightened at the sight.

Chuck advanced on her. "Don't you dare try that shit, Kay!" He grabbed her hand and made her hit him at the base of the throat. "I know you remember!" Chuck started to lose his anger as his eyes started to water. "Hit me again, Kay. Please make me pay for bothering your man," he pleaded.

"I hit you," she started and Hotch knew it wasn't a question. "We were on a porch. I was mad." Chuck nodded quickly. Kahlan looked at Hotch and then back to Chuck. "You hurt his wrist. . ." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I remember that, but. . ." She shook her head and looked back at Hotch. "But I don't remember why."

Chuck gave her a small smile. "Well, at least that's a start." He looked at Hotch and Hotch nodded. They both knew they couldn't just tell her, her memories. She had to recover them on her own, but they both thought she was at least headed down the right road.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

"I do remember some, but it's all just fractured pieces that try to flow together. It's like I can't seem to get to settle," Kahlan told them weakly.

"It'll take time," Hotch told her.

Kahlan's look of disgust made him wince.

"I'm just glad you remember anything," Chuck told her with a smile as he advanced on her and pulled her into a hug. She returned the hug.

Hotch wanted to die. To know it wasn't just physical contact that she was afraid of, but that it was his contact she couldn't handle made his stomach lurch. He had to fight the urge to throw up as he headed for the door.

Chuck looked up as the door shut. He realized Hotch was gone and he winced. _Damn it! I shouldn't have hugged her in front of him! You're a dumbass, Charles!_ "Why are you afraid of Hotch?" Chuck asked her as he held her out at arms' length.

XXX

Hotch knocked on Rossi's door as tears fell down his cheeks. Rossi opened it and Hotch could tell he had been asleep. "What?" Rossi asked desperately as he took in Hotch's face.

Hotch entered the room and sat down on the bed roughly. "It's me," Hotch started as he broke down and started crying harder.

Rossi went to him, sat down beside him, and started rubbing his back. "What's you?" he asked trying to figure out what happened.

Hotch just shook his head, so Rossi decided to let him get out his tears and silently supported his unofficial son. His heart was breaking for the poor man, again.

XXX

Kahlan looked around and realized Hotch was gone, too. She sighed heavily. "Are you sure about him?" She asked as she looked Chuck in the eyes.

"What do you mean?" He asked her as he led her to one of the chairs and then pulled the other so he was sitting in front of her. She shook her head. "I know you remember him. Do you not remember your love for him? He's the first man you've loved since Collin, and I think you actually love Hotch more. It's like you're connected on a totally different level then what you were with Collin."

Kahlan studied his face. "Then why is acting like that asshole Tony?"

"What?" He asked her frantically.

Kahlan took a deep breath. She shut her eyes and shook her head. "They were beating me." She opened her eyes and Chuck saw tears, and he felt his anger rise. "That's when they did this," she told him as she gestured to her face. "Then Tony came in and killed the two men responsible."

"That was part of their plan to get you to trust him."

"I understand that now. The plan was for me to kill Hotchner. I guess they figured I would eventually remember, and when I figured out I had killed my own husband. . ." She took a deep breath. "He wanted to destroy me, too."

Chuck nodded. "But you do believe he is your husband, right?"

"I don't know. . . I know I feel something when I look at him. . . There's something familiar in his voice. . ."

"Why do you say he was acting like Tony?"

"Because he said the same exact thing Tony did." She could tell by Chuck's look that he didn't understand. "I awoke to him telling me I was safe." Chuck nodded; Hotch had told him about the nightmare. "Tony said the same exact thing. And then he told me today that he brought me chicken. . . Tony said the same thing, and I thought that he must have known me if he knew that I liked chicken."

Chuck started to understand. "Apparently Tony knew what to say to get you to trust him, but Hotch just said those things because he does know you, and he does love you."

"But you can understand why I'm leery."

Chuck grabbed her hands in his. "I've never met a better man than Aaron Hotchner, Kay. He has gone through so much trying to find you, and when you reacted the way you did, it broke his heart. He would never do anything to purposely scare you or remind you of that asshole. He didn't know what Tony had done, and it'll kill him to know he reminded you of being with that bastard."

Kahlan studied him some more. "You're the only one that I know I can trust."

Chuck shook his head. "No, Kay. You can trust him and his whole team. They all love you like family. Hell, I think Rossi thinks of you like a daughter."

"Rossi? The guy with the goatee?"

Chuck smiled. "Yeah, the guy who calls you Kiddo. I don't think you've ever told him that's what your dad called you. He just does it naturally because he loves you and your family like you all are his own."

Kahlan finally understood the feelings she had when she had seen him in the building, and a small smile came to her lips. "I did get the feeling he knew me."

"You probably felt that because he reminds you of your dad. Those memories weren't messed with were they?"

"No. I remember everything up to. . ." She shook her head. "I'm not sure. . ."

"What's the last thing you remember clearly?"

"Clearly?" Chuck nodded. "Still looking for Wyatt."

Chuck's breath hitched in his chest. _No wonder she doesn't remember him or his team!_ "You got Hotch and his team to help you find Wyatt, Kay. That's when you first met him. They found out he was being held in Montana." He told her as he watched her closely.

"But I remember going to the FBI, that asshole told me he couldn't help me."

"What asshole?"

"I don't remember his name; Davids or something like that."

"But not Hotch's team?"

"No. I haven't seen him here. I don't think he's part of Hotchner's team."

"I really don't know how or why, but I know Hotch and his team helped you. I also know it ended with a fight on some big ass ranch."

Suddenly images flashed through Kahlan's mind: she was on a ridge looking through a scope, seeing Wyatt standing over Hotchner in a barn, her sitting beside Hotchner on a hospital bed as she held his hand, sitting on a bench in a yard with him. She shook her head. "And when was that?"

Chuck smiled because he knew she had remembered something about it. "March, 2013."

"And it's really 2017 like skinny guy said?"

"That's Reid, and yes."

Kahlan stood up and walked from him. "What date is it?"

Chuck looked at his watch. "September 23." He watched as her hands balled into fists.

XXX

Rossi finally got Hotch to calm down enough to where he thought he could talk. "What happened?"

"She can't even handle me talking to her, but she'll let Chuck comfort her."

Rossi's heart ached. He knew it must have broken Hotch's heart to see whatever had happened. "Tell me."

Hotch took a deep breath. "She woke up and the first thing she did was ask for Chuck. I offered her something to eat, she got so upset, and she was looking at the door; I thought she was going to run for it." Hotch told him as his eyes started to tear up again. "Then she decided to go take a shower, and I had Chuck come over."

"Just because she knows him doesn't mean she doesn't trust you. Aaron." Rossi tried to sound positive.

Hotch huffed. "Then Chuck got pissed that she was just closing herself off from us both, and then I got pissed that his yelling was scaring her. I finally told him to get out and he slammed me up against the wall and told me it was all my fault. . ."

"What?!" Rossi asked frantically as he stood up ready to go kick Chuck's ass.

Hotch held up his hand. "He was trying to bring out Kahlan's protective instincts. It worked, too. She halfway remembered that night when Chuck showed up at her house when we unloaded the truck."

"That's great, though, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Hotch told him weakly.

"So what happened that upset you so much?" Rossi asked as he sat down beside him again.

"He hugged her, and she hugged him back."

Rossi pulled him into a one arm hug. He understood. Hotch had thought she had PTSD, but that would mean no physical contact was comfortable. If she allowed Chuck to hold her and she held him back, then the implications weren't too good for Hotch.

XXX

"And you say that Mordecai was behind all of this?"

"Yes, but you don't ever have to worry about him again."

She turned to look at him. "You took care of him for me?" Chuck shook his head. Kahlan's brows furrowed. "Hotchner?"

"Stop calling him that. It sounds wrong coming out of your mouth, but no, it wasn't him either."

"Do I call him Hotch, too?"

"Only when his team is around. Normally you call him Aaron. Just like you remembered in that building."

She nodded as her eyes darted around.

XXX

Rossi stood up, patted Hotch on the shoulder, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Hotch asked him desperately.

"I'm going to see if she'll talk to me. I've got to get to the bottom of her treating you like this. If we can figure it out, then we can fix it," Rossi told him with a smile.

Hotch nodded. "Maybe she will talk to you. She's always had a special bond to you."

Rossi heart sank at Hotch's tone and he went back to him. He lifted his chin up to make him look at him. "She loves you so much, Aaron; she's bound to remember that."

"Unless what they did to her makes her hate me so much that her love is gone. They made her think I killed her son for Christ's sake. How can she still feel any love for me after believing that?"

Rossi eyes watered because he knew Hotch really felt that way. He cupped Hotch cheek. "She'd never hate you, Aaron. It's just like you said, she's just a little mixed up. I promise you," he paused to get Hotch to look him in the eyes again. "I will do everything in my power to get her back." A tear fell down Hotch's cheek and Rossi wiped it away with his thumb. "Have some faith in your old friend," he told him with a smile. Hotch nodded and Rossi left to go see his unofficial daughter.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

Rossi used his key to open the door to Hotch and Kahlan's room. Kahlan quickly turned to see who was coming in the door. She gave Rossi a questioning look. Rossi shot Chuck a look to let him know that he wanted to be alone with Kahlan. Chuck squeezed Kahlan's shoulder and headed for the door. Rossi was half expecting Kahlan to stop Chuck from leaving, but she just stood there staring at him. He studied her, and he thought she did look a little better. The circles under her eyes had reduced drastically, and she didn't look quite so frazzled anymore. "Why don't you have a seat?" He asked her as he gestured to the chair beside her.

His voice brought flashes to her mind of another hotel where she was sitting and he was pacing. She gave him a small smile as she sat down wordlessly as more memories came flooding in on her; they were all centered around the man standing in front of her.

Rossi studied her some more. "So you know me but you don't know Aaron?"

"You walked me down the aisle."

Rossi smiled in spite of himself. He sat down in front of her. "Yeah. What else do you remember?"

"Just a bunch of little scenes where you're there. Several of them are from the same house."

"That must be your house."

Kahlan nodded, she had come to that conclusion already. "You're here about Hotchner, Aaron," she corrected quickly.

Rossi studied her face. "How can you remember me and not remember him?"

She got up and walked away from him. He could tell she was struggling with conflicting emotions. "It's like he's there," she started as she put a hand to her forehead. "But yet he's in shadows." She finally turned around to look at Rossi; she had tears in her eyes. "Why is that?" She asked him desperately.

Rossi stood up and walked to her. "I don't know, Kiddo, but I think is has something to do with you believing that he killed Wyatt. You do believe that Wyatt is alive and safe, right?"

She took a deep breath. "I think he is, but I really need to see him and talk to him." When she saw Rossi about ready to say something, she quickly added, "but I know I need to wait with the shape I'm in."

"Do you remember Jack or Joey at all?"

Kahlan smiled. "You mean your Bella?" Rossi smiled. "Yeah, but again, it's just bits and pieces. My heart aches for them all, but I think the fear of believing Wyatt was dead makes him stand out more in my mind," she confessed weakly.

"That, and you knew Wyatt before the three plus years that were stolen from you. I understand you needing time and help to get through this, Kiddo, but two rooms over is a man who is hurting just as much as you are. I have seen him so close to breaking so many times since you left him to go after Demitri that I don't think he can handle seeing you afraid of him. Why does he bother you so much?"

Kahlan noticed tears in Rossi's eyes. "I just discussed that with Chuck. He was acting like that asshole Tony, and it scared me to think this was just more lies. . . I wasn't sure I could trust him," she told him as her eyes teared up.

"Oh, Kiddo," Rossi started and pulled her into a hug. He held her tightly as she cried on his shoulder. "Aaron would never intentionally scare you. Trust your feelings. I know you love him." He told her as he rubbed circles on her back. "Let him in and all those memories will come back to you," Rossi assured her.

She nodded against his chest, and after a few moments she pulled away from him. "I want to, but he almost seems afraid of what I'll remember; and that scares me even more. What could he be afraid of me remembering?" She asked him as she studied his face. Rossi looked at the floor, he wasn't sure he could tell her what Hotch was so afraid of. Kahlan lifted his chin. "What did I do that hurt him so much?"

"You? No, Kahlan, it's not what you did that scares him."

"Then what?" She asked him as she studied his face.

"He's worried that you will remember everything that happened to you while you were being held."

She let him go and took a step back from him. "How would he know what happened to me?"

_Oh shit! Great job, Dave!_ Rossi took a deep breath.

"No!" Kahlan said as she shook her head. "Mordecai sent him a video."

Rossi licked his lips. He knew there was no turning back now, so he nodded.

"You all watched it."

Rossi nodded again and swallowed hard. "Do you remember what happened?"

Kahlan's eyes darted around for a few seconds. "I think so, but it doesn't seem to have been long enough to have covered a month. I think I lost some time somewhere along the line."

"You remember what they did to you?"

Kahlan studied his face. She could remember most of it, but she didn't think any of it was bad enough to make them act the way they were. "I want to see it."

Rossi eyes got wide. "What? Why?. . . No." he told her desperately as he shook his head.

"Why not? If it happened to me, I at least deserve to see it."

Rossi shook his head. He knew Hotch would never let her see the video, and he knew Hotch would never forgive him if he let her see it. "Kahlan, please."

"What's on it that's so bad to have Aaron so scared?"

Rossi shook his head again. "I can't."

"But seeing it may bring back some of my memories," Kahlan demanded.

"No, Kiddo. It's not worth it."

Kahlan huffed and went to the door. Rossi was worried she was going to leave until he saw her open the door and he saw Chuck standing there. "Get in here!" Kahlan demanded as she grabbed the front of Chuck's shirt. Chuck shot Rossi a look and Rossi thought that Chuck looked a little scared. Rossi had to hide the smile that wanted to show. That was the most normal he had seen Kahlan since her rescue. "Give me your phone," she told Chuck as she held out her hand expecting him to obey. Chuck shot another worried look at Rossi but reached into his pocket.

"Don't, Chuck," Rossi told him and Chuck's hand froze in his pocket. He wasn't sure who to listen to.

"Charles Leroy! If you don't give me your phone. . ."

"Who you gonna call?" Chuck asked nervously.

"Cam."

Chuck looked at Rossi; he didn't know why Kahlan wanted to call him or why Rossi didn't want her to, but he was worried about pissing off Kahlan. "Why?"

"Because she wants to see that video," Rossi told him with a look that clearly told Chuck he did not want him to relinquish his phone to her.

"Oh, Kay. No! You don't need to see that!" Chuck told her as he took his hand back out of his pocket.

"It might help me remember," Kahlan told him, but Chuck shook his head. She advanced on him. "I may be weak and a little bruised, but I can still kick your ass, Charles. I can take it from you." Chuck swallowed hard but didn't back down.

"Aaron would kill us," Rossi told her.

"He doesn't have to know. Apparently it's bad enough that none of you need to watch it again, but I can handle it," she told him with authority as she wondered what could have all of them so shaken. Now she was starting to understand the looks of pity coming from the team. It pissed her off that she couldn't remember, though. _I have to know!_ She fixed Chuck with a deadly look. "Either give me the phone, or get out and don't come back."

Chuck's shoulders slumped. "That's not fair!" He pleaded. She held out her hand. "Please, Kay. Don't do this."

"One."

"Kahlan," Rossi tried.

"Two."

Chuck looked at Rossi with tears in his eyes.

"Thr. . ."

"Ok! Here, take the damn thing!" Chuck yelled as he slammed his phone down into her hand.

She smiled with satisfaction as she found Cameron in the contacts. She looked at Rossi. "Does someone here have a laptop or do I need to find an internet café?"

Rossi's shoulders slumped, too. He knew there was no stopping her from doing anything once she set her mind to it. "I can go get mine," he told her dejectedly as he went out the door. _Hotch is going to hate me!_

Hotch heard the door opening and looked at Rossi expectantly, but the look on his face told him things didn't go well. "Did she talk to you?" Hotch asked frantically.

"Yes," Rossi told him as he went to his laptop.

"And?" Hotch asked him as he got up.

Rossi sighed deeply. "I'm so sorry, Aaron," Rossi started and Hotch felt his chest tighten. "I let it slip that you were worried about her remembering everything that happened to her while she was being held."

Hotch gave him a confused look. "Why are you sorry about that? It's the truth."

"How are you supposed to know what happened to her?"

A look of horror spread across Hotch's face. "You told her about the video?"

Rossi shook his head quickly. "No! She figured it out on her own."

"Oh God!" Hotch looked at the laptop in Rossi's hand. "And you're going to let her watch it?" Hotch couldn't believe what Rossi was doing.

"I don't want to let her, but she threatened to leave and find a computer on her own. She's calling Cameron as we speak because she threatened Chuck's life to get his phone from him. We both tried to talk her out of it."

As much as the thought of Kahlan watching the video scared the shit out of him, Hotch actually chuckled. "She did what?" If she was acting like that then he knew she was definitely on the road to being herself again.

Rossi shook his head. "It all started out so innocent. We were talking and she was remembering me and the kids. Then I asked her why she was acting so strangely toward you, and she told me that she could tell you didn't want her to remember something, and it scared her to think of what she had done to you."

"Done to me?"

"Yeah. So I told her that it wasn't anything she had done, but it was what was done to her. . . and she figured it all out. Now she wants to watch the video so she can see if it jogs her memory more."

"Did she let you touch her?" Hotch asked as he studied Rossi's face.

Rossi nodded. "I'm sor. . ."

"Then maybe what Demitri said was a lie. She couldn't have been raped repeatedly if she doesn't mind the contact, and if she was just afraid of me because of the way I was acting, then maybe. . ." Hotch stopped. He shook his head. He had seen the video, and he knew that she had been raped at least once for sure. "Maybe with as strong as she is. . ."

"Maybe she doesn't remember it but seeing the video. . ." Rossi started. He didn't want to think about how she would react and what damage it might do.

"But if she has it in her head to watch it, then she'll watch it one way or the other." Hotch sighed deeply.

"Maybe with us around her to comfort her. . ."

"It would be easier to do that if we had caught that son of a bitch! Then maybe she could find solace in knowing he wasn't still running around," Hotch told him and Rossi could hear the anger in his voice.

"Are you sure you can handle watching it again?" Rossi asked him; the worry very evident in his voice and on his face.

Hotch took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "If she'll let me, I want to be there for her."

Rossi nodded and went to the door. _Please, God! Please don't let this make things worse for them!_


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Kahlan sat at the little table in her room as she watched the laptop in front of her. Hotch stood next to the wall and watched Kahlan. Chuck sat on one bed with his head in his hands and Rossi sat on the other bed watching Hotch. Hotch noticed that Kahlan kept stealing glances at the men in the room. He was watching for any reaction from her, but she sat there passively as she watched herself being tortured. Once the video got to the point where the man's voice could be heard, all three of the men flinched, and Kahlan quickly muted the sound. Hotch watched her closely. She didn't look surprised by what she was seeing, so he thought that she must have remembered it. His heart sank and it became a little hard for him to breath.

Kahlan watched as Nick used the cattle prod on her, and Hotch could have sworn that he saw a ghost of an evil smile pass her lips. Finally Kahlan looked at him. "Where's the rest of it?" She asked him in an accusing tone.

"What?" Hotch asked as he moved so he could see the video. "What do you mean?"

Rossi also came up to see the video had finished. Kahlan fixed Chuck with a look. "Were there two videos, and you just happened to get word to Cam to only let me see one?"

Chuck balked. "No. Isn't the one enough?"

She looked at all three of the men, and Hotch could tell she didn't believe them. "This is really it?" Kahlan asked Rossi.

Rossi was confused by her reaction. "Yeah, Kiddo. I swear."

Kahlan stood up and studied their faces even more. "Then why are you all so freaked out about. . ." She started and then it hit her. "Oh my God. You think. . ." She shook her head and then looked Hotch in the eyes. "You think that asshole raped me?"

"You're telling me he didn't?" Hotch asked her and tried not to let the excitement he was feeling come through in his voice.

She looked at Chuck and Rossi and could tell they had also come to the same conclusion. She shook her head again but smiled. "Do you honestly think that if he had that it wouldn't have been on the video?"

"I couldn't watch the whole thing," Hotch told her and she could tell by his tone that it had been too hard.

She looked at Rossi and Chuck. "Did any of you watch the whole thing?"

"I did," Chuck told her.

"And you honestly think Mordecai would have just stopped it there to what? To save Aaron the pain of actually seeing me raped?"

Chuck shrugged. "I guess it pissed me off so much that I wasn't thinking clearly."

Hotch shot Rossi a look. Rossi went to Kahlan and grabbed her shoulders. "So he didn't rape you?" He had to get a clear answer for Hotch.

"How should I put this? Ahhh. . ." She licked her lips. "He never got the chance to consummate our relationship," Kahlan told him with a wicked grin.

"What happened then?" Hotch asked her quietly.

Kahlan went to him. "Oh, Aaron. No wonder you were worried about me remembering." She put her hand on his cheek as he shucked in his breath. He had been craving her touch for so long that his knees almost buckled under him. "The video stops where it does because he didn't live long enough to get his pants down."

His breath left him in a rush. "Oh thank God!"

She gave him a small smile. "I am so sorry you been living with that thought in your head, but I can assure you that even with everything that happened, no one raped me."

Hotch's eyes watered. "I was wondering why we couldn't find him."

Kahlan could tell that Hotch had really wanted to get his hands on the man, and after knowing what Hotch thought, she couldn't blame him. "Don't worry. I made him pay for what he did do."

Chuck laughed and Kahlan looked at him with a smile. "That's my girl!" He told her as he grabbed her in a big hug and lifted her off the ground. She grunted as she winced. "Oh shit, Kay," Chuck said quickly as he sat her back down. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I just think a couple of my ribs are bruised," she told him sheepishly.

Rossi looked at Hotch with a smile as he went to Chuck. "It's late. We should let them get some rest."

Chuck nodded and gave Hotch a small smile as he headed for the door.

Rossi squeezed Kahlan's shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning."

Kahlan nodded and watched them leave. Once the door was shut she sighed heavily and turned to look at Hotch.

"I'm sorry. . ." they both started at the same time.

Kahlan gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry I put you through all this."

Hotch returned her smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't find you faster, I'm sorry for what they did to you, and I'm really sorry for scaring you after we found you," Hotch told her as his eyes watered.

Seeing the pain in his eyes made her eyes water, too. "Oh, Aaron," she started and opened her arms to invite him to her. He went to her quickly and wrapped his arms around her shoulders tightly but carefully so he wouldn't hurt her. She held onto him, and as she breathed in his scent images came flooding into her mind. The love she felt power over and through her was so overwhelming that she almost passed out.

Hotch felt her go limp in his arms and he held on to her so she wouldn't fall to the floor. "Kahlan?" he asked desperately as looked at her face.

She blinked at him several times as a huge smile found its way to her face. "Hey, Hun," she told him as tears escaped her eyes.

Hotch felt his own body trying to go limp because he could tell by her face that she remembered him. "Hey, Babe," he answered as tears fell down his cheeks.

She stood up and put her arms around his neck. "God, Aaron. You've got nothing to be sorry for. This was all my own doing. If I hadn't been so damn stubborn. . ."

He stopped her by embracing her lips with his. She leaned up to deepen the kiss and even more images came flooding into her mind. She moaned against his lips and started to walk backwards towards the bed as she pulled him with her. They both fell as the back of her knees connected with the bed. She groaned as their mouths lost contact. He pulled up away from her. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?" He asked her with concern.

"You plan on squeezing me as hard as Chuck did?" She asked him with a grin.

"No, but. . . I don't want to . . ."

She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to her again. "Shut up and kiss me."

He smiled. "Yes, Ma'am." He leaned down and kissed her passionately. Once he had to pull away for lack of oxygen and moved to lay by her side.

She turned on her side to face him. "God, I've missed you!" She told him as she ran her hand through the side of his hair.

"I've missed you more," he told her with a smile.

She scooted up so her whole body was on the bed and he followed her. "We're going be ok, right?" she asked him.

He reached and moved some of her hair back that had fallen by her face, and she rested her head in his hand. "As long as you're ok, we'll be great." She looked down away from his eyes. "You are going to be ok?"

She took a deep breath and looked him the eyes again. "Yes. I will be." She smiled. "Especially with you helping me." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "Just be patient and try to overlook me when I'm acting like an ass."

He smiled. "You, acting like an ass?"

"Yeah, you know. Like when I cuffed you to that pole," she told him sheepishly.

"I sat there for over four hours."

"How can I ever make that up to you?"

He smiled and let his dimples show. "I'll think of something once you're healed up."

She chuckled. "I bet." She reached over and turned the light off and then rolled over and snuggled her back up against his chest. "Hold me."

He smiled into her hair and wrapped his arms around her gently. "Yes, Ma'am," he answered as he snuggled his head down into the back of her neck. They drifted off to sleep finding comfort in each other's arms.

XXX

Hotch had left his phone in Rossi's room, so Rossi went to Hotch's room to wake him up. He stood there looking at the door and wondered if he should knock. He shook his head. _Hotch wouldn't do that with as hurt as she is._ He took out his keycard and opened the door quietly. As he took in the sleeping couple his eyes watered. Kahlan was still curled in Hotch's arms, and Rossi knew that the night had gone well for them. He also knew they both had to have been completely exhausted for neither of them to have woken up when he came in, so he quickly went and placed Hotch's phone on the nightstand next to Hotch and left the room as quietly as he had come. _I'll give them another hour or so,_ he thought with a smile as he headed down to join the team for breakfast.

XXX

Hotch awoke to Kahlan throwing his arm off of her. "What's wrong?" He asked quickly as he sat up. He winced when he realized she was fighting something in her sleep. He moved in behind her again and put his arm around her tightly. "It's ok, Babe. I'm right here," he whispered into her ear. He felt her starting to relax. "It's ok, it's ok," he kept repeating softly until she had settled completely. He sighed deeply. _Thank you, God. Thank you for allowing me to comfort her again._

He laid there and realized it was already morning, so he quietly got up and went to the restroom. He emerged freshly shaven, dressed, and actually wearing a smile. He felt good for the first time in a long time. His wife was back with him, and while he knew it would take some time for her to be a hundred percent, he now had no doubt that she would eventually get there. He walked over to the bed and sat down beside her. He stroked her hair and she woke up and smiled when she saw him. "Hey, you," he told her with a smile.

"Hey, yourself," she told him as she returned the smile. She stretched and the cat image he always got when he watched her came to mind.

"How do you feel?"

"Pretty good. I think that's the best sleep I've gotten in a long time."

"Me, too."

Kahlan's stomach growled ferociously. Hotch raised his brows and smiled at her. She laughed. "The beast is awake." She moved to sit up beside him.

He felt a twinge of pain in his heart because he knew she hadn't eaten the whole time since they had found her and he figured the last meal she had eaten was the partial breakfast he'd found in that house. "You must be starving."

She grinned at him. "This is actually the first time I've felt hungry. I guess feeling safe has allowed my body to relax." She leaned over and gave him a kiss. "Thank you."

"Thank me after you eat. Come on," he told her as he pulled her up into a standing position. "Go get ready and I'll take you someplace to eat."

She face got serious. "If you offer me pancakes, I'm going to hit you."

He looked at her strangely. "You don't even like pancakes. They get too soggy too quickly."

She smiled at him. "That's right!" She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom.

He went to the chair and sat down to put his shoes on. He heard his phone vibrate and he looked around for it. He smiled as he walked to the nightstand to get it because he knew Rossi had brought it to him. "Hey, Dave."

"So you are up?"

"Yeah. Kahlan's getting dressed now."

"You ask her about going home?"

"Not yet. She's actually hungry, so I want to take her to get something to eat."

"Good. I'll bring you the keys."

"You could go with us."

"Nah. We just got done eating. Besides, you two need some time alone."

Hotch heard the call end and the door unlock. He stuck his phone in his pocket. Rossi smiled at him. "I see last night went well."

Hotch looked to the bathroom and smiled. "Yeah. I think she remembers me."

Rossi's smile got even bigger. "I knew she would as soon as she let herself, and I suppose a kiss brought back a few things, too." Hotch raised his brows but smiled. "Oh please, I saw you two wrapped up in each other's arms. That had to start with at least one kiss."

"Maybe even more than one," Kahlan told him as she put her arm around his shoulder. He jumped when she talked right next to him because he hadn't heard her leave the bathroom. She gave him a kiss on the cheek as she chuckled.

"Christ, Kahlan. You should know better than startle an old man," Rossi told her as he hugged her back.

"I never said you were old!" she told him as she let him go and looked at Hotch.

"What?" Hotch asked her.

"You sure you want to be seen out in public with me?" She had noticed in the mirror that her face was looking better, but the bruise had turned a sickly shade of green and yellow.

"You're asking me if I want to be seen with the most beautiful woman in the world?" Hotch asked with a smile as he took her into his arms.

"If it was closer to Halloween, I could have used this as part of a costume."

Hotch and Rossi both laughed. "Come on. Let's get you fed before the beast makes you grumpy," Hotch told her as he pulled her towards the door. Rossi tossed him the keys with a smile. He watched them leave and a tear escaped his eye. _God, it's good to see them like that again!_

Hotch opened the door to the SUV for her and she got in with a smile. Once he was in and they were headed down the road, she turned to him. "It's time to go home, isn't it?"

Hotch glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Yes. We at least need to get the team and the jet back to Virginia, but if you're not ready to go home we can figure something out there," Hotch told her as he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You think the kids will be afraid if they saw me like this?"

"What? No!"

She chuckled. "Oh please. I saw your face when you saw me in that building."

"You didn't scare me. I was scared for you. There's a difference."

"Still, though, I can just imagine Joey's face."

"The kids will feel sorry for you, but they'll be so happy to see you it won't affect them long. Are you ready to go home?" He asked her seriously.

"I honestly don't know. I'll have to wait until we get back to Virginia to decide."

Hotch nodded. "Perkins sound good?"

"Only if I get to get a blueberry muffin," she told him with a smile, and he pulled into the parking lot.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

Rossi led Kahlan to one of the seats in the back of the jet. He gestured to one that was facing away from everyone else. She raised her brows at him. "Am I grounded and not allowed to talk to anyone else?"

Rossi smiled. "No, but I thought you might want some privacy," he told her as he sat his laptop down on the table in front of her.

"What's this?"

"A video that I hope will be a thousand times better to watch than the last one," he told her with a smile as he opened the laptop. "It's right there when you're ready," he told her as he pointed at a shortcut on the screen. "Oh, and you'll need these," he told her as he laid down a set of headphones. He patted her shoulder and walked back down the aisle and took his usual seat.

Hotch finally came on and noticed Kahlan sitting in the back. He started to go to her but Rossi grabbed his arm. "Here, sit by me," he told him as he pulled him into the seat.

"What's going on?" Hotch asked with concern as he glanced at Kahlan. He could clearly see the back of her head from his seat but nothing else.

"Garcia put together a little video for her from the kids," Rossi told him with a smile.

Hotch smiled at Dave. "And whose idea was that?"

"I think a little birdie might have told her," Rossi told him with a grin.

Chuck came on the jet next. He saw Hotch sitting where he was and Kahlan sitting where she was and just stood in the aisle trying to figure out what was going on.

"Jesus, just sit here," JJ told him with a smile as she pulled him down onto the long seat beside her opposite Hotch and Rossi.

"Everything ok?" He asked Hotch.

"So far it is," Hotch told him knowing Kahlan wouldn't start the video until they were at cruising altitude.

Morgan and Reid finally joined Hotch and Rossi in the quad seats and the jet took off.

Eventually Kahlan took a deep breath, put the headphones on after she plugged them in, and clicked on the video. Her heart tightened as she saw pictures of her children sliding across the screen in a slide show. It started with just Wyatt and Jack, and Kahlan knew they came from when she and Aaron had first gotten together.

Once Hotch realized she was watching the video, he watched her closely. After a few minutes, his chest tightened because he realized she was crying. He was about to go to her when JJ patted him on the arm and got up. Hotch smiled when he realized JJ had a box of tissues in her hand.

JJ sat the tissues down on the table next to the laptop. Kahlan looked up at her and nodded her thanks. JJ gave her a small smile, patted her shoulder, and went back to her seat.

"Is she alright?" Hotch asked her quietly.

"Yeah. I think those are tears of love," JJ told him as she patted his knee.

Hotch took in a deep breath and lean back in his seat. "Thanks, JJ." Hotch turned and looked at everyone around him. They all stopped their individual conversations and looked at him. "I really want to thank you all for everything you've done to help me and Kahlan. I wouldn't have been able to find her and save her without all of your all's help," he told them seriously.

"I'm just glad it has all worked out," Reid told him with a smile.

"Man, none of us could handle seeing your sorry ass so depressed any longer. We did it to help ourselves," Morgan joked.

"Of course we helped, Hotch. We're family," JJ told him as she reached over and squeezed his hand.

"And don't look at me. I helped because I couldn't handle not having her around, not for your sake," Chuck told him with a big grin.

Hotch shook his head. "Well, whatever the reason. I'm really glad to call you my friends."

As the video transitioned from pictures to a recording of her children, Kahlan felt a smile grow on her face. She chuckled at their 'hellos' and their smiling faces. They went on to tell her how much they missed her and how much they loved her. She laughed when Joey got in an argument with the boys about who loved her the most.

Hotch heard her laughing and the tightness in his chest fell away. He couldn't see what was on the laptop, but he knew it was doing her good to see it.

Eventually Kahlan reached up and shut the laptop. Hotch got up and went and sat beside her. She smiled at him as she wiped her face again. "Who do I have to thank for that?"

"Dave had Garcia put it together. You ok?"

She put the arm rest up that was separating them, leaned over, and rested her head on his shoulder. He reached up and put his arm around her. She smiled up at his face. "I want to go home."

He smiled back. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, yeah," she told him and snuggled up closer to him.

"Good." He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and pulled away from her. She sat up and looked at him questioningly. "I don't know if you remember or not, but you once made me promise to never shut you out. I need you to do the same for me now; you have to promise to never shut me out. If anything or anyone bothers you or upsets you in any way, you have to tell me." He put his hand on her cheek. "I don't care if the way I hold my coffee cup bothers you; you have to tell me so I can fix it." He studied her eyes. "Can you promise me that?"

She saw the love in his eyes and her chest swelled to know that his love was hers. She covered his hand with her own. "Yes, Aaron. I promise."

"Oh yeah," Hotch started as he pulled away from her. She watched him dig into his front pocket. He smiled as he withdrew his hand. "I thought you might want these back," he told her as he held his hand out indicating that he wanted her to accept whatever he had in his hand.

She stuck her hand out pensively, and he opened his hand letting its contents fall into hers. She looked at the two glistening rings and her eyes watered. The night he proposed to her came flooding into her mind. "Where did you find them?" She asked him quietly.

"On your pillow the day you left," Hotch told her as he studied her face. He was beginning to worry she wouldn't put them back on.

She chuckled nervously. "I don't even remember taking them off," she told him as a tear fell down her cheek.

He reached up and wiped the tear away. "You do want them back, right?" He asked nervously.

She locked eyes with him. "Not having them on was another reason why I was leery about you actually being my husband," she admitted softly.

Hotch's breath hitched in his chest. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Would you please stop saying that!" She told him as her brows furrowed. "Stop apologizing for something you had no control over. Damn, Aaron. . ." She shook her head and looked away from him.

"Kahlan?"

"You know, I feel so much guilt over what I've done and put everyone through, that it's hard to breathe sometimes," she told him without even looking at him. "And when you apologize, it just makes it ten times worse."

He watched as another tear fell down her cheek. He wasn't sure what to say to her because he wanted to apologize again.

She shifted herself so she was in her seat and farther away from him. "I know you like shouldering guilt, especially when it's not yours to shoulder, but I can't handle you feeling sorry over something I have done."

"I. . ." He started but shook his head.

She finally looked at him. "I think I'd rather see you blame me for everything and even be mad at me more than I can take you trying to take responsibility for my actions."

He studied her face; he wasn't sure if she was mad, upset, or sad. He wanted to say the right thing, but he was at a loss. He had never seen her switch moods so quickly.

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't sit there and try to figure out what you think I want to hear."

He looked at the ground. _I really hate it when you know what I'm thinking._

She reached over and grabbed his chin to make him look at her. "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you're really thinking." He took a deep breath. "You told me not to shut you out, but when I tell you the truth. . ." She shook her head and let him go.

"I'm so. . ." He stopped, he was about to apologize again, and by the look she gave him; she knew it. He took another deep breath. "It worried me when you didn't put your rings back on immediately," he finally admitted.

She turned back and looked at him. She gave him a small smile. "Now, was that so hard?" She studied his face. "You can't act like your walking around on egg shells around me, Aaron. That will just make it harder on us all," she told him as she put her rings back on.

He watched as she did, but his heart ached a little when they both realized they were too big. He felt his anger rise.

"Maybe I shouldn't wear them just yet. I'd hate to lose them," she told him as she took them back off and put them in her pocket. She looked at his face and knew he was mad. "Don't worry, it'll only take a week or so and they'll fit again."

He nodded. "I wish I'd killed that son of a bitch."

"If you didn't, and Chuck didn't, who did?" He glanced towards where the others were sitting. "No," she started as a look of horror spread over her. "Dave?"

He nodded. "He's been just as pissed over this whole thing, too," Hotch admitted. She hung her head. "Hey, don't worry about Dave, he's fine with it."

"Why?"

"Why is he fine with it?"

"Why did he do it? What happened when you found him?" She asked as she studied his face.

Hotch swallowed hard. He didn't want to tell her, but he knew he had to. "He was. . . He. . ."

"Just tell me."

"He was saying things that pissed Dave off," is all he said. It was the truth.

She searched his eyes. "And after what you thought after that video. . . I can imagine." She actually smiled. "Remind me to thank him."

Hotch smiled, too. "Oh don't worry. I think he got a little satisfaction out of it."

She chuckled. "I bet. I'll have to think of something special for every one of them."

"I wouldn't have been able to do any of it without them."

Her eyes turned sad again. "How can you ever forgive me?"

He reached over and put his hand on her cheek. "Because I love you." He smiled and pulled her face to him gently and kissed her. She kissed him back and reached up and took his hand in hers as she nestled her head on his chest for the rest of the flight home.

Rossi smiled. For a while he thought he should get up and go to them to be a referee, but watching his favorite couple lean into each other and quiet down told him things were alright. _At least for now._ He knew there would be rough spots in the future, but he was sure that Hotch and Kahlan would get through them. _If anyone can, it's them._

XXX

"Do you want me to go in first?" Hotch asked Kahlan as they pulled onto the road leading to their house.

"If I can trust my memories and feelings, I would think they'll be watching the street and come running out before we're even parked," Kahlan told him with a smile.

Hotch chuckled. He knew the truth of that. He slowed the car to a crawl and looked at her. "You sure you're ready?"

She studied his face. "You're starting to make me nervous; is there a reason I shouldn't be ready?"

Hotch balked. "No," he said quickly. "I don't mean to. . ."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Just hit the gas before I feel like I'm going to throw up," she joked.

He accelerated and before they even got close to the drive way, they saw three kids and two dogs run out of the house. Wyatt had to speed up and grab Joey before she ran out into the street. They both laughed.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

Jack had Kahlan's door open before she could even reach for the handle. Joey ducked through his legs, though, and climbed up onto Kahlan's lap and grabbed her mother around the neck. "I missed you Mommy!" Joey told her excitedly as she squeezed her neck.

Kahlan wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her back. "I missed you, too, Pumpkin," Kahlan told her as her eyes watered.

Hotch smiled as got out and made his way around the car.

Wyatt pulled Hotch into a hug and looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "Thanks for bringing her home, Dad."

Hotch hugged him back and sighed heavily. "Of course."

Joey pulled away from Kahlan and frowned when she saw her mother's face. "Are you ok, Mommy?"

Kahlan smiled. "Yeah, sweetheart. I'm fine now that I'm home with you guys."

"My turn!" Jack yelled.

Joey climbed out of her mom's lap and out of the car. She looked at Jack with a smirk. "I told you I hug Mommy first!"

Kahlan laughed as she got out and Jack engulfed her in a hug. Hotch noticed the wince on Kahlan's face. "Jack. . ." Hotch started but stopped when Kahlan shot him a look that told him to shut up.

"I'm so glad you're home," Jack told her and Kahlan could feel him sobbing against her chest.

Kahlan stroked his hair as she held him. "Me, too, Buddy. Me, too." She held him until he pulled away and wiped his face quickly. He stepped back to let Wyatt have his turn.

Wyatt just stood there staring at her. His eyes watered as he took in her face.

"Wyatt?" Kahlan asked quietly.

Wyatt studied her some more and his brows furrowed with anger. He looked at Hotch. "He's been taken care of?"

Hotch knew Wyatt was referring to Demitri. "Yes," is all Hotch said. He thanked God, too, because he had the feeling Wyatt would have run off to find the man to get his own revenge.

"This is nothing," Kahlan told him with a small smile.

"Yeah? Then why did you wince when Jack hugged you?" Wyatt asked in an accusing tone.

Jack looked horrified. "Did I hurt you?"

Kahlan shook her head. "I'm fine."

Joey went to her and grabbed her hand as they all stared at Wyatt.

"How cou. . ." Wyatt started, then shook his head, turned, and started for the house.

"Wyatt?" Hotch asked he started to follow him. Sampson looked after Wyatt and looked back at Kahlan and whined.

"Don't Aaron. I've got him," Kahlan told him as she let go of Joey's hand and followed her son.

"Is Wy mad at Mommy?" Joey asked as she went to Hotch.

Hotch picked her up and started for the house. "I don't know, Angel, but Mommy will take care of it."

Jack quickly caught up with Hotch and they all went inside with the dogs following close behind. Hotch's chest tightened when he saw Kahlan standing by the stairs, and he realized she didn't know where Wyatt's room was. She shot him a look. "Downstairs, second door on the right," he told her and she gave a small smile and went down stairs.

"Wh. . " Jack started but stopped when Hotch gave him a look and glanced at Joey.

"Come on, let's go make Mommy some coffee," Hotch told Joey as he took her into the kitchen.

Kahlan opened the door to what she hoped was Wyatt's room. She found him sitting on his bed, fuming. She sighed deeply and went in and sat down beside him. "I know you're mad at me, and you have every right to be."

He looked at her quickly. "How could you just run off and leave us?"

"Aaron didn't tell you why?"

"No. All he said is that some man had you. I could tell it was you who left, though, by the way Dad was acting."

Kahlan nodded. "You're right."

"If you would have seen him. . . It almost killed him."

"I know."

"And yet you. . ." Wyatt shook his head and got up forcibly. He walked to the other side of the room and kept his back to her.

"What?"

"I spent three years of my life without you. I didn't want to think of having to do it again!"

"I'm sorry."

Wyatt turned to her, tears streaming down his face. "Maybe sorry doesn't cut it!"

"No, it doesn't. All I can do is try to make it up to you all," she told him as tears fell from her eyes.

"Yeah? And how are you going to do that?" He half yelled.

"I don't know," she told him as she stood up and left his room. He just watched her go.

Hotch heard the front door shut and he jumped up from the table. "Don't come outside," he told Jack quickly as he headed for the door.

Joey gave Jack a quick look and they both went towards the door.

Hotch opened the door and found Kahlan standing on the porch. "Babe?" Kahlan shook her head; he could tell she was crying. "What happened?" He asked her as he went up and put his hands on her waist.

"He hates me," she told him softly.

"No he doesn't. He's just mad about what's happened," he told her as he hugged her from behind. "Let me go talk to him."

"No." She shook her head again. "Let him be. He has every right to be mad at me," she told him as and pulled away from him.

"No he doesn't! If he knew why you left. . ."

"Don't you dare tell him!"

"But then he'll know. . ."

She turned to face him. "Aaron!"

Hotch licked his lips. "Alright," he told her and advanced on her again. "He'll come around," he told her as he pulled her into a hug.

Jack and Joey could clearly hear their parents. Joey ran the dining room, grabbed Kahlan's laptop, and headed to the basement steps. Jack jumped to follow her. "What are you doing, Joe?"

"Wy needs to see somin,"she told him with a sly smile and went down to find her big brother.

Jack sighed and followed her. Joey walked into Wyatt's room without knocking. "What are you doing, Joe?" Wyatt asked her as soon as he saw his mother's laptop.

Joey sat it down on Wyatt's bed, opened it up, and waited for the screen to wake up. Both boys watched as she brought up their mother's email and scrolled through it until she found the one she wanted. "Look," she told them as she pointed at the screen.

Wyatt and Jack both stared opened mouthed at the picture of Hotch that Demitri had sent Kahlan. Joey reached up and scrolled down to show them what was written below it. Wyatt's eyes watered. "That's why Mommy left!" she told him as she gave him her best Hotch-stare.

"How did you know?" Jack asked her.

"I found it," is all she told them.

Wyatt shook his head. "Why didn't you show us this before, Joe?"

"I didn want to get in trouble for reading Mommy's mail," she admitted.

"God! I feel like an idiot!" Wyatt yelled.

"What did you say to her?" Jack asked him.

"I told her it was all her fault. That Dad was so upset. . . I blamed her."

"But you saw her face! You said she was hurt even more. How can you blame her when you know he hurt her?" Jack asked him as his eyes watered.

"Cause she wouldn't have been hurt if she hadn't of left!"

"But she left to patect Daddy!"

"I know that now. I need to go apologize!" Wyatt said as he started for the door.

"No!" Joey yelled as she grabbed his leg. "You can't tell 'em I saw it!"

"But I need to. . ."

"Please, Wy!" Joey begged. "They'll be mad at me! Mommy aways says never touch her stuff."

"I'll tell them I found it," Jack suggested.

"No. They would know you were lying," Wyatt told him as he sat down on his bed. "How could I be so stupid?"

"You do seem to be having a problem keeping your anger in check," Jack told him as he sat down next to him.

Joey moved the laptop, jumped up, and sat in between them. "Just say sorry morrow."

Wyatt put his arm around her. "Yeah."

"Mom didn't know where your room was," Jack told him as a tear fell down his cheek.

"What?" Wyatt asked quickly.

"She followed you into the house, but Dad had to tell her where your room was."

"Oh my God! What did they do to her?"

"She doesn't member," Joey told them as she put her arm around Jack.

"Why do you say that?" Wyatt asked her.

"She looked at me funny."

"That's why Aunt Pen made that video," Jack mused.

"No! He couldn't have. . . They would have told. . ." Wyatt started.

"Would they?" Jack asked him with a look that told him he didn't think so.

Wyatt swallowed hard. "And I just treated her like crap. . ."

"She be ok," Joey told them with a smile. "We help her."

Wyatt stood up. "Yeah we will. I'm going to go apologize." Joey gave him a horrified look. "I won't tell her about the email. I'll just say I'm sorry for getting mad." Joey smiled.

"We all need to be there for her," Jack told them as he stood up.

They heard the front door shut. "You take Joey outside so I can talk to Mom?" Wyatt asked Jack as he headed for the door.

"Sure. Come on Joe," Jack grabbed Joey's hand and followed him.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

"Come on, Daddy," Joey told Hotch as she grabbed his hand and headed to the back door.

Hotch looked at Wyatt; he realized he wanted to talk to Kahlan alone, so he gave him a small smile and allowed Joey to pull him outside.

Once Jack shut the door behind them, Wyatt sighed deeply. "I'm sorry I yelled," he told Kahlan as his eyes watered.

Kahlan studied him for a moment. "I understand you being mad. I shouldn't have done it."

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I missed you so much, and then when I saw how bad you were hurt. . ." He shook his head. "I felt like I wanted to strangle someone."

Kahlan laughed. "I know what you mean; I've felt that way before, too."

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you, though," he told her as he went up to her and hugged her gently.

She squeezed him tightly; her fear over him being dead finally reached its peak and she couldn't hold back her tears any longer. "I just so happy to see you again," she told him through her sobs.

Wyatt held her until she started to calm down. Finally he pushed her away and looked at her face. "Why didn't you think you'd see me again?" he asked through his own tears. He knew she hadn't said the same thing to Jack or Joey.

She swallowed hard. "I. . ." She shook her head. "I just really missed you."

Wyatt knew she wasn't telling him the truth. "Why can't you all understand that you don't have stupid kids?"

"What?"

"Do you two really think you can keep stuff from us? Even Joey figures stuff out."

Kahlan chuckled. "You know why I left?"

Wyatt looked at the ground.

"You don't have stupid parents, either, Wyatt."

"I know you just want to protect us, but maybe if you all shared stuff with us it would make it easier on us all."

"Ok, then," she told him as wiped her face and went to the door to call Hotch and the other kids in. Wyatt looked at her questioningly.

Hotch came in the door with the same expression on his face.

"Everyone at the table. It's time for a family meeting," Kahlan told them all simply.

Joey gave Wyatt her Hotch-stare as she walked past him. Wyatt's look told her he hadn't said anything.

Kahlan waited for them all to sit down. "Apparently we all need to discuss what's happened a little more," she started. Hotch gave her a look. "They know, Aaron."

"What? What do they know?"

"Everything," Wyatt told him.

Kahlan looked around the room then she fixed Joey with a look. "Where's my laptop?"

Joey swallowed hard and shot a dirty look to Wyatt. "I'll go get it."

Hotch looked at his daughter and then to his wife. "What?"

"Just wait," Kahlan told him as she waited for Joey to come back.

Joey came back and sat the laptop down in front of her mother tentatively. Kahlan opened it and the email was still open on the screen. A look of horror spread over Hotch's face. Kahlan shook her head. "Let me guess? You had Cam take off all of the password protections?"

"I thought he deleted that," Hotch told her sheepishly.

Kahlan shook her head again. "Even though you all know why I left, I still need to apologize for doing it. I should have never have left to try to take care of it on my own."

"Kahlan. . ." Hotch started.

"We're a family, and families stick together."

"Why didn't you know where Wyatt's room was?" Jack asked her.

Hotch shot him a look. "We can discuss that at a later time," he told him as he glanced at Joey.

Wyatt laughed. "She's the one who figured it out first. She's the one who found that email, too," Wyatt told him.

Hotch looked at Joey and she sunk down in her chair a little bit.

Kahlan took a deep breath. "I. . . How should I put this. . ."

"Just tell us," Wyatt coaxed her.

"I won't say how, but I lost some of the last three plus years," Kahlan told them.

"You don member me?" Joey asked as she teared up.

Kahlan went to her and knelt down beside her. "Oh, sweetheart. Yes, I remember you. I just don't remember everything," Kahlan told her as she hugged her.

"So you didn't. . . Me and Dad . . . Really?" Jack stammered.

Hotch put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "It's coming back to her," Hotch assured him.

"You thought I was still missing?" Wyatt asked her as he finally realized why she had said what she said.

Kahlan walked over to him. "Sort of," she told him as she put her hand on his shoulder.

Wyatt studied her face and then turned to study Hotch. "I guess it doesn't really matter what happened exactly," he started and Kahlan knew he had figured it out. "What do we need to do to help?"

"Nothing special. Just be the awesome kids that I know you are," Kahlan told them with a smile.

"It'll take some time, but everything will work out," Hotch told them.

"Just. . . If you know I'm missing something, tell me. You'll have to have little patience with me," she told them.

They all smiled at her.

"Me and Jack's birthdays are next month," Joey told her with a smile.

Kahlan laughed. "Yep. Jack's is the seventh and yours is. . ." she paused with a grin.

"Mines the seventeen," Joey told her.

"Seventeenth," Wyatt corrected her with a grin.

"Yeah!" Joey told her as she jumped down out of her chair and grabbed Kahlan's hand. "Come see if you member my room," she told her as she pulled Kahlan towards the stairs. The males laughed as they watch the girls leave.

"Is she really going to be alright, Dad?" Jack asked Hotch.

Hotch looked at the two boys. "Yes," he told them honestly. "Just give her some time. Promise me, though," he paused to make sure they were listening. "If you see or hear anything that worries you, you need to tell me about it." They nodded their agreements. "Even if she makes you promise not to tell me. Now is not the time to hide anything from Dad."

"We'll keep an eye on her," Jack told him.

"Yeah. Is there anything we should be worried about?" Wyatt asked him seriously.

Hotch studied the boys. He didn't want to say anything to scare them. He shook his head mentally. _It's not like I could hide it from them anyway._ "Just watch her moods."

Wyatt nodded his understanding.

"Don't worry. We learned a long time ago to tread lightly around mom when she's mad," Jack told him with a smile.

Hotch laughed. "Yeah, but she may get a little mad more often right now."

"Don't worry. Joey knows how to get her into a better mood," Wyatt told him with his own smile.

"She's lost weight," Jack pointed out as his smile left him.

Hotch's smile also left him. "It will take her time to recover both physically and mentally, but if anyone can do it, it's your mom," he told them seriously.

"And you're sure everyone responsible has been taken care of?" Jack asked him with a look that told Hotch he wanted some revenge, too.

"Yes. They have paid for what they have done."

They studied Hotch again and nodded in satisfaction.

Joey came back down stairs and looked at Hotch. "I think Mommy needs you."

Hotch jumped up. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked her quickly.

"She went in your room and got sad again."

"Oh. She'll be ok, Angel," Hotch told her as he walked to the stairs.

They watched Hotch go up the steps. "But she'll be mad once she realizes that her black dragon is gone," Jack told them quietly.

"Ouch, that's right," Wyatt said with a smirk.

"Think we should warn him?" Jack asked.

"Maybe she won't member it," Joey suggested, and they all laughed.

Hotch opened the door to his and Kahlan's room and found her standing beside their bed. She quickly wiped her face. "You ok?" Hotch asked as he went up to her.

She smiled at him. "Yeah, just remembering a little more."

Hotch showed his dimples. "And since we're in here, I really hope those are good memories."

She chuckled and put her arms around his neck. "The best."

He gave her a quick kiss. "Dave wants to know if we want to come over for dinner."

"I guess he wants to fatten me up, too?" She asked with a smile. Hotch chuckled. "I really don't feel like a big get together just yet."

"Nope. Just Dave."

"Then that's fine. I imagine he's probably having withdrawals from Joey by now," she told him with a smile as she let him go and sat on the bed.

Hotch sat down next to her. "She's too much like you."

Kahlan raised her brows. "She's more like you than she is me."

"She just looks like me. She got your brain."

She huffed. "I think she got the best of both of us."

"Or the worst, depending on how you look at it." Hotch smiled. "I thought the boys were smart, but Joey outsmarts us all."

Kahlan laughed a little then looked at Hotch. "You care if I take a little nap?"

Hotch looked at her with concern. "Of course not," he told her as he got up quickly.

"I'm just a little tired. Give me an hour or so," she told him as she moved the covers and laid down.

"Is that really all that's wrong?"

She gave him a small smile. "Yes, Aaron."

"Ok," he told her and leaned down and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Take as long as you want. We'll be here when you wake up," he told her as he pulled the covers over her and turned to walk towards the door.

"Aaron?"

He turned back to her. "Yeah, Babe?"

"I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too."


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

Rossi wanted to have dinner at six because of the boys having school the next day, so when five o'clock rolled around Hotch decided it was time to wake Kahlan up. Her hour or so turned into an all-day thing, but he knew she still needed it. He winced when he realized she was having another nightmare. He went and sat on the bed beside her as she yelled out something he couldn't understand. Seeing how bad the nightmare was made his chest tighten, and he shook her shoulder. "Babe," he started. When she didn't react, he shook her a little harder. "Babe, wake up."

Kahlan awoke suddenly with her arms flailing. She grabbed Hotch's right arm up by his shoulder and before he could react, pain shot through his arm, into his neck, and down his back. "Kahlan!" Hotch yelled. She released him and scooted up to the headboard quickly. He stumbled back as he stood up and realized he had scared her. "It's just me, Kahlan." When he went to steady himself using the bed post, he realized with horror that he couldn't use his right arm.

She looked around the room frantically. "Aaron?"

"My God, Babe. What did you do to me?" Hotch asked desperately. "My arm won't work." He told her through tears as he held his right arm with his left hand.

She blinked rapidly, and a look of horror spread across her face as soon as she saw what she had done. "Oh my God! Aaron, I am so sorry," she told him as she jumped up and went towards him.

Hotch backed up a step, and Kahlan saw fear in his eyes. "What did you do to me?"

"Let me see it before it becomes permanent," she told him through tears as she grabbed is arm again in the same spot.

_Permanent? Oh my God! _Hotch stood there and watched her closely. She moved her right hand around his bicep and he could feel her fingers pressing close to the back side of his humerus. As she massaged him with her fingers, his hand started tingling. "Can you move your fingers?"

He tried and she saw that he could. "It feels like it's asleep." She moved her fingers on the underneath of his arm some more. A twinge of pain traveled down his arm and he gasped, but his whole arm felt like it was being stabbed with needles as if it had just woke up from being asleep too long.

"Better?" She asked as she studied his face. He nodded weakly and she let him go. He moved his arm around to check that it still worked properly.

"What the hell was that?" He asked as he tried to get his breathing under control.

"One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made," she told him as she cried. "I can't believe I just did that. God, Aaron, I could have. . ." She dropped to her knees and covered her face with her hands.

He hated to think what she could have done, but his heart broke to see her crying so hard. He knelt down next to her and pulled her into a hug. "It's ok," he told her as he held her.

She pulled away from him roughly. "How can you say that it's ok? I could have. . . Oh my God!" She shook her head violently, jumped up, and ran to the bathroom.

He flinched as he heard the lock slam home. He sighed heavily and pushed himself off the floor. He rubbed his arm some more and then took out his phone.

"Hey, Hotch," Rossi answered cheerfully. "You guys about ready. . ."

"Dave," Hotch interrupted.

"What? What's wrong?" Dave asked quickly as soon as he heard Hotch's tone.

"Can you come and get the kids?" Hotch asked him quickly.

"On my way," Rossi told him and ended the call. He didn't want to waste time talking on the phone when he could talk face to face.

Hotch put his phone back in his pocket, and tried to get his himself under control as he headed down stairs to the kids.

"Are you ok, Daddy?" Joey asked quickly as soon as she saw him. Wyatt and Jack turned to study him, too. They could all see that his mood had changed drastically since he had gone up to wake up their mother. Joey jumped up and ran to him. She looked up at him expecting him to pick her up, and when he didn't, they all knew something was very wrong. "Are you hurt, Daddy?" Joey asked what they all wanted to know.

Hotch tried to smile. "I'm fine, Angel."

"Yeah, right!" Jack told him.

"Did mom hit you?" Wyatt asked; the shock very evident on his face.

"She was having a nightmare. She didn't mean to," Hotch told them. They all visibly relaxed.

"I'm sowy," Joey told him and hugged his legs.

Hotch bent down and hugged her with the arm that didn't hurt. "I'll be fine, Angel." He stood back up and looked at all of them. "But mom's pretty upset about it, so I need to talk to her. I've got Uncle Dave coming over to take you all to his house for dinner."

They could tell by his tone that he didn't expect any arguments, and they all knew that it was bad if he was getting rid of them. "Alright. We'll bring you guys something back," Wyatt told him trying to sound cheerful. "Right?" he asked Jack and Joey. They both nodded quickly as they caught on.

"Let's go get ready," Jack told them as he started for his room. "Yell when Uncle Dave's ready to leave," he told Hotch, and Hotch knew they were giving him time to talk to Dave. He smiled sadly as he watched them go downstairs.

Hotch moved to the table and sat down roughly in his usual chair. He rubbed his arm some more. It was finally starting to fully wake up. He flexed his fingers and took a shuddering breath. It was the first time he had ever been scared of Kahlan. He was also pretty sure he knewwhat Kahlan was implying when she admitted that she could have done something else to him. _Jesus Christ! How the hell are we going to get through this?_ He knew he needed to go talk to her, but he wanted to wait until the kids were gone in case things didn't go smoothly.

After about ten minutes, Hotch heard Rossi coming in. Dave saw Hotch at the table and went straight to him "Damn, Hotch! What a way to scare someone!" Rossi told him jokingly to try to ease the tension he could feel in the house, but his smile faltered as he looked at Hotch. "What happened?" He asked as he sat down beside him.

"Kahlan was having another nightmare, and when I went to try to wake her up. . ." He took a deep breath. "She attacked me."

"What?" Rossi asked with disbelief.

Hotch swallowed hard. "She paralyzed my right arm before she even woke up fully," Hotch started as he teared up.

Rossi grabbed Hotch right arm to inspect it. "It's ok now, though, right?"

Hotch pulled his arm back with a nod. "Once she was awake she didn't know where she was or who I was for a second or two. Then, once she recognized me, she jumped up and quickly fixed my arm because she said it could turn permanent."

"What?" Rossi asked flabbergasted. "Permanent, as in never being able to use your arm again?"

"I think that's what she meant."

"Jesus Christ! What the hell did she do to it?"

Hotch shook his head. "I don't really know, but I know it hurt like hell for a couple of seconds and then I couldn't move it."

Rossi took a deep breath. "Where is she now?"

"She locked herself in the bathroom. She's really upset about it."

"I can imagine."

"She said. . ." Hotch shook his head. "I think she tried to tell me that she could have killed me."

Rossi reached over and put his hand on Hotch back. "Jesus, Aaron, I'm so sorry, but if that's true. . . It probably scared the shit out of her."

"She's not the only one, Dave." He took a shuddering breath. "I was actually afraid of her for a moment."

Rossi gave him a sympathetic look. To hear Hotch admit that broke his heart. Even when Hotch was staring down the barrel of his own gun in the hands of the woman he loved, Rossi never thought Hotch was scared. Rossi stood up and patted him on the shoulder. "Let me get the kids out of here so you two can talk." Hotch nodded as he stood up. He rubbed his elbow. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Hotch rolled his shoulder and reached his arm up to rub the back of his neck. "It seems to be alright, but it still feels a little asleep around my elbow," he admitted.

"I'll go get the kids. If they need to stay, just text me."

"Hopefully it won't come to that."

Rossi nodded as he went to the stairs and yelled for them. They came running. "Poppi!" Joey yelled and jumped into his arms as usual. "Hey, Bella. Ready to go eat?"

"Yep. Wy's tummy been growling," she told him with a smile.

Rossi smiled at Wyatt. "What? You know how much I love your cooking," Wyatt told him truthfully.

Hotch laughed and Jack walked over to give him a hug. "Good luck," Jack told him softly.

Hotch nodded and watched them leave. He took a deep breath and headed back up stairs. He found Kahlan sitting on the bed with her head in her hands, but he didn't think she was crying anymore. "Babe?" he asked nervously as he stepped into the room.

She shook her head and looked away from him towards the wall. "Don't come near me, Aaron."

There wasn't any malice in her voice, and Hotch knew she was just ashamed of what had happened. He took a deep breath and went and sat down beside her. "Look at me, please."

She shook her head again. "I can't believe I did that."

He put his arm around her. "See? It still works," he tried to sound nonchalant. She leaned away from him and he pulled his arm back. "Talk to me. Remember, you promised not to shut me out."

She took a ragged breath, and he knew she was trying to stop herself from crying again. She finally sat up and looked at him. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop. You were having a nightmare. You didn't do it on purpose."

"But that could have disabled you for life!" She told him as she got up and walked away from him.

"But it didn't. You fixed it."

"It shouldn't have needed fixing in the first place!" She yelled as she turned back to him.

Hotch stood up, went to her, and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm fine, Kahlan. Just calm down. It was an accident." She teared up and he pulled her into a hug. "Please calm down."

She cried into his chest. "I didn't mean to." She sobbed as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I didn't even know it was you. God, Aaron, what's wrong with me?"

"You've been through a lot, Babe. It will take time to get through it," he told her as he rubbed her back. He held her until she started to calm down. "Do you want to talk about the dream?"

She looked up at him. "I don't remember the whole thing."

He pulled her back to sit on the bed. "What do you remember?"

"You don't need to hear that."

He sighed. "You told me once that nightmares don't go away if you don't talk about them." He reached over and turned her head so she had to look at him. "Tell me."

She cringed and looked down at her lap. She shut her eyes and the images flowed through her mind. She shook her head. "I can't."

"Please?"

"No," she said more forcibly. "You have enough bad thoughts already in your head about the whole thing. I will not add to them."

His heart ached. _She doesn't think I can handle it. God, what did that son of a bitch do to her?_ "If you can't talk to me about it, then I think you need to talk to someone else."

She looked at him as if he had just suggested she could fly. "Not!"

"I meant someone you know. Maybe Dave," he suggested.

"Why? So he could turn around and tell you?"

"How about Chuck, then?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But I do know I'm not sleeping with you again until I get myself straightened out," she told him as she stood up and headed out of the room.

He jumped up to follow her. "What do you mean?"

"I'll sleep in the guestroom." She said simply as she opened the door to the other room. "I couldn't handle hurting you again."

"You don't need to do that. You slept with me just fine at the hotel."

She shook her head. "I can't take that chance."

"Please don't do this," Hotch pleaded.

"You said you'd have patience with me," she told him as he eyes teared up again.

Hotch studied her. He knew there was no changing her mind. "Alright, but just for tonight."

"I'll figure it out," she assured him as she pulled him into a hug.

He hugged her back. "I love you."

She huffed as she pulled away from him. "I wonder if I deserve that love."

"Kahlan."

"Just go, Aaron. Please."

He sighed and left the room. He winced when he heard the lock. He wasn't sure who she was protecting: him or herself. He shook his head and headed downstairs to wait for the kids to get back.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

Kahlan awoke with a start. She rubbed her hand down her face and tried to get the nightmare to recede. She looked at the clock: 1:42. She shook her head and silently made her way downstairs. _I'll just never sleep again,_ she thought sarcastically as she headed for the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

Hotch awoke with a start and breathing heavily. He had dreamt of finding Kahlan, but in the nightmare, he felt a bullet rip into his chest as Kahlan shot him. He went to rub the sleep out of his face and got even more scared because he couldn't move his right arm. The fear left quickly, though, as he realized why. Joey had crawled in bed and was lying on his arm. "Shh. It be otay," Joey told him sleepily as she stroked his hair. Hotch smiled and pulled her to his chest and drifted back off to sleep.

Hotch awoke and silently climbed out of bed without waking Joey. He found Kahlan and the boys at the table as the boys tried to get out of going to school, but Kahlan wouldn't hear of it. "You are not missing school."

"Are you going into work?" Jack asked Hotch over his cereal.

"Yes," Kahlan answered for him. All three of the males looked at her. "I'll be fine," she told them.

"I could take a day or two," Hotch started.

"No. The sooner things go back to normal, the better things will be," she insisted.

"I take care of Mommy!" Joey told them as she came into the room. Jack actually jumped when she spoke because he hadn't heard her even get up.

"That's right!" Kahlan said as she picked her up and sat her in her chair.

"Frosted Flakes, please," Joey told her with a smile.

"Now that, I remember," Kahlan told her as she tasseled her hair and went into the kitchen to fix her a bowl.

Hotch followed her. "I'm serious, Kahlan. I can take a couple of days."

He watched her search the cabinets for a bowl. He was about to tell her where they were, but she found them. Kahlan put the bowl down and turned to him. "I'll be fine."

"But we might get a case," he started.

"And you'll go solve it like always. Your team needs you, Aaron."

"But," he started.

"No buts. I don't need you all smothering me," she told him and then turned to fix Joey's breakfast.

Hotch studied her for a minute. "Then, I guess I'll go get ready," he told her and went upstairs.

XXX

"Uncle Uck!" Joey yelled as Chuck came through the door. She ran and jumped into his arms.

"Hey, Joe! How's my best girl?" Chuck asked her as he carried her into the dining room.

"Hey, I thought I was your best girl," Kahlan joked as she stood up and gave him a hug.

"You were until this one came along," he told her as he threw Joey up into the air. Joey laughed loudly. Chuck noticed Kahlan wince at the noise, so he didn't do it again. He put her down. "You go watch tv while me and Mommy talk?"

Joey smiled. "Sure," she told him and went to the family room.

Kahlan sat back down and Chuck sat beside her. "How's it going?" He asked her seriously.

"Ok, I guess. A lot of it's coming back."

"And why did you want me to come over?" Chuck asked her suspiciously.

"What? Can't I just want your handsome face around for company?"

Chuck laughed. "Yeah, but since you're you, I know there's a reason behind it."

Kahlan smiled. "I have some things I need to take care of, and I need you to watch Joey," She smiled. "And I need your car."

He looked at her questioningly. "Is this going to get me into trouble with Hotch?"

Kahlan laughed. "I don't think so," she told him honestly. "Where is my car, by the way?"

"Do you remember what happened to it?"

"Apparently not."

Chuck sighed. "I think it was towed back to Quantico, after you smashed it up pretty bad."

"I wrecked my car?" She was shocked. She had always prided herself on her driving abilities.

Chuck rubbed the back on his neck. "You were shot at," he told her as he watched her face.

"What?" Kahlan's eyes darted around. "Wow. I don't remember any of that."

Chuck reached over and pulled the neck of her shirt to the side. "Where do you think that came from?" He asked as he looked at the bullet wound underneath her collar bone.

She reached up and touched the newly formed scar. "I was wondering about that."

"He didn't shot you anymore did he?" Chuck asked excitedly, but winced and quieted back down when he saw Joey look at him over the couch.

"Jesus, Chuck. Calm down." Kahlan told him seriously. "But, no. Only burns, cuts, and bruises."

He shook his head. "You got the guy on the video, and the guy in the building. Rossi got Demitri, and I didn't get anyone. It's not fair," he told her with a grin.

She shook her head. "You're incorrigible!"

"Yep!" He told her with a big smile. "And that's why you love me!"

She laughed. "Give me the keys. I'll make sure I'm home before the boys."

He dug into his pocket, pulled his keys out, but he held onto them. "Are you doing anything I should be worried about?" he asked her seriously.

"I will be perfectly safe."

"Like that answers the question," he told her as he shook his head but gave her the keys. "What do I do if Aaron calls?"

"Tell him I'm taking a nap," she told him with a smile as she grabbed her jacket.

"Great. Just as I really get on his good side, you want me to lie to him."

"Then tell him the truth."

"Even better," he said sarcastically. "I can just picture his face now if I admit to letting you leave without knowing where you are going." She chuckled. "I guess I'll stick with the nap story. Do you at least have a phone?"

She reached into her pocket and showed it to him. She typed a quick message and he felt his phone vibrate. "There, you have my number now. Stop worrying. I'm not doing anything bad."

"Then why can't you just tell me what you're doing? Or better, yet, why can't me and Joey just come with you?"

"Cause I want to have a little alone time, if that's alright."

Chuck knew Kahlan liked to process things on her own, so he sighed. "Alright. Just be careful and come back home in one piece or Hotch will kill me."

She smiled and gave him another hug. "Of course."

XXX

Kahlan dug out her FBI badge as she approached the guarded entrance of Quantico. She hadn't planned on visiting the base, but once Chuck told her car was there, she had to see it. The guard checked her badge and waved her through. She had been to the base enough to know where the impound lot was. She got out of Chuck's Jeep and walked up to the guard at the entrance. She showed the badge again and walked around the lot until she found her car. She winced at its condition and the crash came flooding back to her. She felt her anger rising. _He's dead! There's no one to be mad at! Just calm yourself._ She shook her head as she felt her guilt overflowing again because she realized that Hotch had found the car and had to deal with seeing the shape it was in. _I'm so sorry, Aaron._ She sighed heavily as she got in the wrecked car. She rested her head on the steering wheel and tried to reconstruct what happened after she had left Hotch cuffed in the house.

XXX

Hotch walked into the house and found Chuck and the boys fixing dinner.

"Where's Kahlan?" Chuck and Hotch both asked each other at the same time.

"What?" Wyatt asked desperately.

"She's not here?" Hotch asked just as desperately.

"She's not with you?" Chuck asked and Hotch could hear the fear in his voice.

Hotch grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him out onto the front porch and away from the kids. "Why would she be with me? What the hell is going on, Chuck?"

"She called me over here this morning to watch Joey. She said she had a couple things to take care of."

"You let her leave?"

"I didn't see a problem with it. Why couldn't she leave?" Chuck asked as he realized Hotch was scared. He knew something had happened.

"Why would you think she was with me?"

"Because she said she's be back before the boys got home. When she didn't show, I had Cam trace the GPS in my Jeep. He saw it was at Quantico and I assumed she was with you."

"Quantico? What the hell was she doing there?" Chuck looked at his feet. "What did you tell her?" Hotch asked him and Chuck could hear the anger in his voice.

Chuck swallowed hard and finally looked at Hotch again. "She wondered where her car was. I told her you had it towed there."

"Jesus Christ!" Hotch yelled and took out his phone. Rossi answered on the first ring. "Are you still at work?" Hotch asked him quickly.

"Yeah. Why? What's wrong?'

"Kahlan's not here. Chuck let her have his Jeep and the GPS says it's at the impound lot. Run over there and see if she's still there by some chance." Hotch could hear Rossi leaving his office. "I'll meet you there."

"Alright. Calm down, Aaron. We'll find her," Rossi told him and ended the call.

Hotch took his keys out of his pocket and headed for his car.

"I want to go, too!" Chuck yelled.

"You can stay with the kids," Hotch told him angrily. "And you can explain to them why I have to leave again," Hotch added as he pointed at the house.

Chuck ran his hand down his face, took a deep breath and took out his phone as he headed back inside.

XXX

Hotch pulled up behind Rossi's car. He could see Chuck's Jeep sitting outside the impound lot, but he couldn't see Kahlan. He got out of his car and quickly walked up to Rossi. Rossi face told him that Kahlan wasn't anywhere to be found, and Hotch's heart sank.

Rossi put his hand on Hotch's shoulder. "I've talked with the guard. An Agent Dunmire checked in at 10:07 this morning, but she never checked out, and he didn't see her leave."

"Oh my God," Hotch said as he shook his head. "I can't believe I've lost her again."

"Calm down, Aaron. You don't know what this means," Rossi tried to sound positive.

"Where could she go? His damn car is sitting right there."

"I've put in a call to check all of the gates. Could she still be here?"

Suddenly a car pulled up behind them quickly. Hotch saw Chuck get out of Jessica's car and he advanced on him. "Haven't you done enough today? I told you to stay with the kids!"

"I swear, Hotch. If she had given me the feeling of doing anything she shouldn't be doing, I wouldn't have let her leave! I thought things were going ok."

"She didn't tell you about last night?' Hotch had hoped she had at least talked to him about her nightmares.

"Oh God! What happened last night?"

"Open that damn thing up so I can check and see if there's anything in it," Hotch yelled as he pointed at the Jeep.

Chuck took out his spare keys and hit the unlock button as they all walked up to it and each opened a door to see if there were any clues to Kahlan's whereabouts. Hotch sighed deeply when there was nothing to find. _Not that I really thought there would be! God, Damn it!_

"What happened last night?" Chuck asked again.

"She almost paralyzed Hotch's arm when she attacked him as he tried to wake her up from a nightmare," Rossi told him.

Chuck's face went from complete shock to complete fear. "Jesus, she must have been terrified to use that on you."

Chuck's reaction made Hotch even more afraid. "You know what she did?"

Chuck nodded slowly. "It's an advanced form of martial arts. It attacks the nerves and can do serious damage if you're not careful."

"Don't I know it," Hotch told him as he rubbed his arm as he remembered the pain. "Once she realized what she had done; she fixed it, but she was so upset afterward that she closed herself in the guestroom all night."

"You were safer that way," Chuck told him.

"What do you mean she had to be terrified?" Hotch asked him desperately.

"Because those aren't the type of moves you use unless you feel a lethal threat."

"You know how to do it?" Rossi asked Chuck.

Chuck shook his head. "She's tried teaching me. She said I have too much brute force and those types of moves require more finesse than I could master. Not many people can do it properly. I guess you can consider yourself lucky she only attacked your arm. If she had gone for your back or neck. . ." He shook his head because he couldn't finish the statement.

Hotch and Rossi shared a look. They could just imagine what would have happened. Hotch swallowed hard.

"You all always give me shit for being afraid of her. That's not just an act; I know what she's capable of," Chuck told them seriously.

"I thought I did, too," Hotch told him and sat down on the hood of his car.

Rossi sat down beside him and put his arm on Hotch's shoulder. "Where do you think she's gone?"

Hotch shrugged. "If she left because she was worried about hurting me. . . God knows."

Hotch's defeated tone brought back all the times Rossi had heard it in their search. "Well, at least you know she's fine."

"Do I?"

"She's not after Demitri anymore, and there's no one after her," Chuck pointed out.

"Are you sure? What the hell did seeing her car bring back? We can't be sure all of his men have been taken care of."

Chuck looked around nervously. He hadn't thought about that. "Maybe she's call us."

Hotch stood up quickly. "She has her phone?" He asked desperately as he pulled his out.

Chuck's shoulders slumped. "Not her normal one if that's what you're wondering."

Hotch eyed him warily. "What phone does she have?"

"It's a burn phone," Chuck admitted as his shoulders sunk a little more.

Hotch advanced on him. Rossi could see the anger in Hotch's eyes and grabbed his arm to stop him. "And you didn't think that was a little suspicious?" Rossi asked him feeling his own anger.

Chuck held out his hands in submission. "I didn't know it was a burn phone until I had Cam try to trace it just a little while ago after you headed over here."

"What the hell I'm I going to do now?" Hotch asked them desperately.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

"Aaron. . ." Rossi started but stopped when Hotch took his phone out of his pocket like it had just stung him.

Hotch quickly held out his phone so Chuck could see the call that had come in. "Is that her number?"

Chuck looked at it and nodded quickly.

"Kahlan?" Hotch asked as soon as the call connected.

"Aaron."

He felt his knees wanting to buckle at the sound of her voice, so he sat back down on the hood of his car. "Where are you?"

"Keeping you all safely away from me."

"What?"

"I think I know why I attacked you, and I can't take that chance again. I have to get myself straightened out first."

"Don't do this, Kahlan! God damn it! Tell me where you are!"

She knew he was angry, and she couldn't blame him. "It's not safe for you to be around me right now, Aaron."

"I don't care! Tell me where you are!" The line was so quiet he looked at his phone thinking that she had hung up on him. "Kahlan?" Silence. "Please, Babe! Don't put me through not knowing where you are. I can't handle that again!" He told her and she knew he was on the verge of crying.

"Oh, Aaron. I am so sorry for everything. . ."

"No, Damn it! I don't care how sorry you are. Just tell me where you are!"

Rossi and Chuck looked at each other. They had never seen Hotch mad at Kahlan before.

"I wasn't trying to disappear on you again. I did call."

"Then why didn't you take your normal phone? Were you afraid I'd have Garcia trace it?"

"I don't even know where that phone is, Aaron. Where did you put it?"

Some of the anger left him. "I'm sorry. I put it in my dresser. Just tell me where you are. I just want to talk. I won't try to change your mind." Silence again. "Please let me see you. I need to see that you're ok," Hotch pleaded as his voice cracked from the strain of trying to talk around the lump in his throat. He heard her sigh deeply.

"Alright."

His phone signaled it had received a text. He quickly saw that it was an address and he relaxed a little. "I'm on my way."

"I'll be here," she told him and ended the call.

He shook his head and took out his keys.

"What did she say?" Rossi asked quickly.

"She says she doesn't want to be around me because she's worried about hurting me."

"So she's just gonna stay away? From you and the kids?" Chuck asked desperately.

Hotch shrugged. "She said she needs to figure some things out."

"And you're going to let her?" Chuck asked.

Rossi shot him a look. "Please. You of all people know how she is once she sets her mind to something," Rossi told him. "Let's go and see what we can do to help," Rossi told Hotch as he went to the passenger side of Hotch's car. Chuck moved to get in the back.

Hotch looked at them. "I don't know if she'll want an audience," Hotch admitted, but he knew there would be no stopping Rossi from at least going with him.

"We won't go in unless she wants us to," Rossi assured him.

Hotch nodded and got in and drove to the address Kahlan had provided. He sighed as he pulled up to the motel; he shook his head as he realized she was serious about not going home. He took out his phone and texted her to find out which room she was in and to let her know who was with him. He didn't want to make her mad by surprising her. She texted back the room number, so he figured it was alright if Dave and Chuck joined him, but that worried him a little more. They found her room and before he could even knock she opened the door and moved to let them in.

She smiled sadly at them. "It's probably a good thing you brought back-up," she joked.

"Are you telling me you'll attack him while you're awake?" Rossi asked her seriously.

Her smiled left her. "Of course not! I didn't mean to do what I did! My God, Dave, if you truly knew how bad I felt once. . ."

Rossi stopped her by grabbing her in a hug. "I know, Kiddo. I'm sorry." He patted her back and then held her out at arm's length. "Now what's this about you not wanting to go home?"

She teared up. "I can't. I can't take the chance of hurting one of them."

Hotch went to her. "You didn't do it on purpose. . ."

"What if it had been one of the kids, Aaron?" She asked him as tears trailed down her cheeks. He couldn't stop the look of horror from spreading across his face. He hadn't thought of that. "Exactly," she agreed with his thoughts.

He swallowed hard and tried to put on his work face. "You said you thought you figured out why it was happening."

She nodded and walked away from him. She glanced at Chuck who was trying to disappear into the wall behind him. She bit her lip. "I remember what I did since I left you that day."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked her softly.

"I killed those men, Aaron." She had to look away from him. "I'm no better than those damn unsubs you all hunt." She took a deep breath and looked back at him and Rossi. The look on her face told them she was full of self-loathing.

"Don't you dare compare yourself to one of them!" Hotch demanded.

"Kahlan, you did what you had to do to stay alive and protect your family," Rossi assured her.

She knew they knew about the men she had killed in Baltimore. "You found them?" She asked Chuck. Chuck nodded. "And you told them?"

Chuck nodded again. "Not to tell on you. I told them because he was so worried about where you were and what was going on. I did it to assure him you were alive and safe."

Kahlan nodded at him. "Did you tell him how I did it?"

Chuck balked. "No!"

She looked at Hotch again, and she could tell Chuck was telling the truth. "What is it; three kills turn a person into a serial killer?"

"Just stop," Hotch told her.

She laughed. "I've killed more people in the last two months than most of your unsubs have, Aaron. Does that sound like someone who you want around your kids?"

"They're your kids, too, Kahlan!"

"We know about the four guys in Baltimore and at least two in Indiana, who else have you killed?" Rossi asked her trying to get the upper hand on the conversation.

"Six isn't enough?" She asked him coldly. Rossi raised his brows expecting an answer. "Two others in Indiana," she told him simply.

"And you killed all of them in cold blood?"

"No!" She yelled. "Well, unless you count Tony," she said sheepishly.

"Kahlan, the people we hunt don't kill to protect themselves or to try and escape being held prisoner by a psychopath," Hotch told her. She huffed.

"So because you've killed those men, and you're feeling guilty over it, you're having nightmares?" Rossi try to figure out what she was telling them.

She laughed again. "I don't feel guilty over killing them. The son of a bitches deserved everything they got!"

"Then what did you mean when you said you figured out why you attacked me?"

"I've awaken the killer in me again. I worked hard to get past the person, the killer, I used to be, but it's back in full force. I can't even look at a stranger without accessing him and figuring out the best way to take him out." She looked at their shocked looks and her guilt over her feelings threatened to engulf her. "I can't trust myself anymore, so that sure the hell means you shouldn't trust me!"

Hotch looked at Chuck, and Chuck looked scared. Hotch felt his own fear rise in his chest, but he wasn't afraid of her. He was afraid what it all meant for them as a family. Rossi looked at Hotch then looked at Kahlan.

"So what do you have to do to get past this?"

"I don't know. I think Demitri screwing with my mind has made it worse than what it should be." She sat down in the only chair in the room and they all saw her tears. "I don't want to feel this way." She hid her head in her hands. "I just want to wake up and find out this was all a horrible nightmare!"

Hotch's heart ached as he watched her. He went and pulled her to him in an embrace. "We'll figure it out, Babe. We have to."

She cried against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Aaron. I never wanted any of this to happen. I just want to love you and the kids. I want us to be us again."

"How did you get past it before?' Rossi asked her.

She looked at him and winced. "I moved to Reliance to be around the least amount of people I could."

Hotch shot Rossi a look of horror. "Well figure something else out," Hotch assured her.

She nodded and pulled away from him. "I'm too scared to go home, Aaron. I can't take any chances with you or the kids."

He looked into her eyes, and he knew he couldn't talk her out of it. "Then I'll stay with you."

She balked. "No!"

"I don't want you to be alone. I won't bother you while you're sleeping," he started. She shook her head. "Kahlan, when I married you I promised to love you for better or worse."

"Yeah, but it's the 'till death do us part' line that scares me right now."

"Please, Kahlan. I want to stay."

She shook her head. "No!" She looked at Rossi. "Dave!"

Rossi cringed. He agreed with Kahlan; he didn't want Hotch to get hurt, but he also knew that Hotch wanted to stay with her. He was torn between whom to side with.

"I'll stay," Chuck piped in.

"What?" They all asked him at once.

"I can at least half-defend myself against her if it comes down to it. I'm also the most qualified to help her through what she's feeling."

Rossi considered it, and he smiled at Chuck. "Sounds good to me." Hotch shot him a look. "What? He's right."

Kahlan looked at Hotch. "If you won't let me stay alone, then he is right, Aaron."

Hotch looked at her pleadingly. "But you said yourself that families stick together."

"That doesn't count when one of the family members could be a threat to the safety of the family."

"Hey! I'm family!" Chuck told them with a small smile.

Kahlan looked at him and chuckled, then she looked back at Hotch. "I called the kids before I called you. I told them I needed a few days to work through some stuff and they understood. I also promised to call them every morning and every night." Kahlan told Hotch. He looked at her with sadness in his eyes. "Aaron, I don't want to do this, but I have to. I know that this is just adding to your misery, and it's just one more thing I'm putting you through. . ." Her eyes watered.

"Stop," Hotch started as he pulled her into a hug. "What did you tell me? Stop apologizing for something you have no control over."

"But I should have control over it," she told him as she pulled away from him. "I can't stand knowing I have no control over my own mind!"

Hotch realized her alpha was just as mad as his was over not being the one to help his wife. He pulled her back to him. "We'll get through this."

She hugged him back. "I know."

"Yeah, just think of all the making up you'll be able to do once all this is over," Rossi told them with a smile as he tried to lighten the mood.

They both smiled at him and then each other. "You better go," she told him reluctantly.

"If we don't get a case, I'll be back tomorrow night," he told her in a tone that didn't leave any room for her to argue.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

Chuck woke up to a loud bang. He looked around quickly. Kahlan was tossing and turning; she had apparently hit the wall. He got up and went to her. He timed himself and as soon as she turned away from him, he jumped in behind her and swallowed her in a tight bear hug. She struggled against him. "Kay! It's ok!" She stilled once she realized she was being restrained. Chuck started to relax his grip and she slammed her head back trying to hit him; he was ready, though, and quickly dodged the blow that could have hit him in the face. "Kay! It's me, Chuck!"

She snapped her head around and looked at him. "Jesus, Chuck, I'm sorry," she told him quickly.

"You ok?" He asked as he still held on to her.

She took a deep breath and chuckled. "I don't think Aaron would appreciate you being in bed with his wife."

He let her go as he laughed. "You're probably right," he told her as he got up. "What the hell were you dreaming about?"

"I don't really know," she told him as she rubbed her eyes. "Several guys were attacking me. . . I'm not sure, but I think I was in Europe."

"Really? You're dreaming about back then?"

Kahlan huffed. "I've even dreamed about a fight I had when I was six for Christ's sake. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me."

He studied her. "You need to get it out of your system."

She gave him a confused look. "Get what out of my system?"

He sighed like he thought it was obvious. "What's the last thing that happened to you physically in Indiana?"

She cringed as she remembered. "Those two guys beat me."

He cringed. "The one's that Tony guy killed?"

"Yes. Why?"

"So you didn't get revenge on them."

She furrowed her brows. "No."

He smiled. "I think old Kahlan wants revenge."

She raised her brows as she considered it. "Kind of hard to do that now."

He laughed. "Against them, yeah, but I think you need to kill something to get it out of your system."

She balked. "Jesus, Chuck! That's what I'm trying to avoid. And unless you're going to fly me in under radar and the cover of darkness and insert me into some enemy terrorist camp, there's no one I would want to consider killing."

He smiled. "That could probably be arranged."

She shook her head. "No thanks. I do want to go home to my family."

"While I still think that's a great idea. I was actually thinking more along the lines of going to a gym or something; let you kill something a little more lifeless," he told her with a laugh.

She looked at her watch. "I need to call home in about an hour, but we can go now," she told him as she stood up, grabbed her bag, and headed for the bathroom.

"Cool! I know just the place."

XXX

Once Hotch got to work, they had a case. Hotch didn't want Rossi trying to get them out of anymore cases because he didn't want anyone to know of the troubles his family was having. He texted Kahlan and let her know that they were headed out of state. She told him to call that night when he had a chance. Then she told him to be safe. That made him smile. To think that they could go back to the normal procedure they had for when he was on a case made him feel a little better.

XXX

Kahlan breathed heavily as she finally stopped and took a drink of water. Chuck looked at her with a grin on his face. "Jesus, Kay. Did you have to break them all?"

Kahlan looked over her path of destruction. Chuck had taken her to a friend's martial arts dojo, and every wooden dummy the place offered was destroyed. The protruding wooden arms and legs that the dummies used to have attached to them were scattered across the floor. She winced. "I'll get them new ones."

"Feel better?" Chuck asked as he laughed.

"A little."

He frowned. "Maybe you do need a human target. Maybe someone to spar with."

"You offering?"

He balked. "No thanks. I'd like to keep all my limbs intact."

She laughed. "Where are you going to find someone willing to go a round with me?"

He smiled wickedly. "Oh, I think I might know a few people."

XXX

Later that night, Kahlan opened her laptop and realized she had received an email from Hotch. _Why didn't you call me?_ She opened the email and her heart ached at his words. 'Being away from you has given me the blues.' _Oh, Aaron. . ._ She then noticed a link, so she clicked on it and it took her to a YouTube video. She smiled when she saw the song he had sent her. It surprised her that he had sent her a song; he had never really paid that much attention to songs before. _Or at least he never seemed to._ She already knew Elton John's 'I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues', but she watched it anyway. She could imagine dancing with him to the slow song. She chuckled as it got to the chorus. When the part came about 'picture my face in your hands', she did just that. _I will never again forget you're my man, Aaron!_ A tear escaped the corner of her eye. _ I love you more than life itself, too!_

Her laptop dinged and she smiled as she realized Hotch had IM'd her. 'How's it going?' He asked her.

'Alright. Rolling like thunder under the covers? What exactly are you trying to say?'

'Really? Out of that whole song, that's the first thing you think about? What does that mean?'

She could imagine the grin on his face. 'Lol.'

'What? Didn't think I knew any songs except the Beatles?'

'That had crossed my mind once or twice.'

'You did leave me your iPod.'

'And you listened to it?'

'Maybe a little here and there. I couldn't listen to that playlist you made for me, though.'

She winced. 'Sorry. I guess I just needed to make sure you knew I loved you.'

'I would know that without a song.'

She smiled. 'Sometimes songs can express what I'm feeling better than I can,' she told him as she sent him and email with a link.

After a few moments, Hotch finally IM'd her again. 'Not fair!'

'There's no way you listened to it that fast.'

'I don't want to listen to it right now.'

'It's not a good-bye type song.'

'Fine.'

She waited as Hotch listened to Avril Lavigne's 'When You're Gone.'

He finally came back. 'You're right. We were made for each other!'

She smiled. 'I do miss you!'

'I miss you more!'

She chuckled. 'I'm actually wearing your sweatshirt.'

'Are you cold?'

'No. It smells like you.'

'Oh. And that's a good thing?'

'Of course! I love the way you smell: manly, musky, a little like Old Spice mixed with scotch.'

'I don't wear Old Spice.'

She chuckled. 'It's a natural spice. Unique to you, but it's amazing. Your scent is what helped bring back a lot of my memories of you!'

'And here I thought it was my amazing kiss.'

'LOL!'

'I'll have to make sure I don't shower the first night you're home.'

'You're even better fresh out of the shower.'

'You're incorrigible!'

'You wouldn't want me any other way!'

'You're right! A little crazy is perfect!'

'So now I'm crazy?'

'Not 'now' – always have been. LOL'

'You better get some rest. You need to sleep so you can solve your case and get home.'

'As bad as it is, it will probably take a few days.'

'Maybe I'll be ready to come home by the time you get here, then.'

'God, I hope so!'

'Me, too! Sweet dreams, and be safe!'

'Always! Love you!'

'Love you, too!'

She waited for him to sign off and closed her laptop. She noticed Chuck staring at her. "Whatever you have in mind, I'm willing to try. I need to get home."

Chuck smiled. "Don't worry. I think I found you an appropriate venue."

She eyed him suspiciously.

XXX

The next afternoon, the Director of the FBI stood on the catwalk overlooking the gym below him. He watched as seven men tried to recover after the brutal training exercise he had witnessed. He turned to the naval officer beside him. "Who is that?"

"Seal Team Two."

"No. The woman."

"Oh," the officer smiled. "Kahlan Hotchner."

The Director furrowed his brows. "Hotchner? I have a Hotchner in the BAU."

The officer nodded. "That's his wife."

The Director's raised his brows in surprise. "And who is she with?"

"No one that I know of. From what I understand, though, she used to be in. . ." He shook his head. "I'm not sure where she used to be."

The Director mused as he watched Kahlan drying her face off with a towel. "I guess I will have to do some checking. Seems like a waste of talent for her to not be working with any of us."


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

Hotch finally made it to his hotel room for the night a little after midnight. He wondered if he should call Kahlan. Normally, it wouldn't matter the time, but with her doing God knows what and where, he wasn't sure. He opened his laptop and saw an email from her. He opened it and found another link to what he knew would lead to another song. He sighed as he clicked it. Lifehouse's 'From Where You Are.' started playing. He listened to it and went back to the email. It told him to call her that night no matter what time it was when he got to the hotel. He smiled and took out his phone. "Hey, Babe."

"Hey yourself."

"I can't believe there is actually a song that says, 'I miss the years that were erased.' How the hell did you find that?"

She chuckled. "So you actually listened to it. You should go outside."

Hotch stood up quickly; for a split second he thought that maybe she was there. "Why?"

"So we can both look up at the same stars and pretend we aren't so far away from each other." She could hear him leaving his room, and she smiled as she stepped out of her room into the night air.

Hotch looked up at the sky once he was outside. He didn't have the heart to tell her it was too cloudy to see any stars.

"You see the little dipper?" Kahlan asked as she looked up.

"Yep," he lied.

"Aaron Jackson Hotchner!"

_Shit!_ "What?" He knew he had been busted.

"Can you even see the moon?"

"No," he told her in a tone that reminded her of the boys when they were in trouble.

She laughed. "You're not standing in the rain, are you?"

He chuckled. "No, but I would for you."

"And you said I was crazy."

"Crazy for you."

She laughed.

"How are things going?" He asked her seriously as he headed back into his room.

"Pretty good. How much longer are you going to be gone?"

"We're getting close. Hopefully just one more day, but you know how that goes."

"Well, I better let you go so you can get to bed and get an early start."

"Yeah. I love you."

"Love you, too. . . Aaron?"

"Yeah, Babe?"

"I really do love you."

He smiled. "I know, Babe." He chuckled. "But I love you more!" He told her and quickly ended the call so she couldn't try to beat him. He smiled as he headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. He heard his phone vibrate, and he instantly knew it was a text from her. He went back and picked it back up, opened the text, and sure enough: 'No! I love you more!' He shook his head as he smiled.

XXX

Kahlan stretched as she woke up. She frowned as she looked at her watch; it was already after nine. She noticed Chuck was already awake and he was smiling at her. "I told you it would work."

"What?" She asked as she stretched some more.

"You didn't have any violent dreams or nightmares last night."

She smiled. She had dreamt, but they weren't about fighting. "I was probably too exhausted after that beating you put me through yesterday," she joked as she got up and took the cup of coffee he offered to her.

"Beating you took? Josh says his whole team is so embarrassed, that they never want to show their faces in Quantico again."

"They were great, though."

"You know Seals. They have big male egos that bruise easily. It was bad enough that they all got beat, but when a woman did it. . ." He laughed. "I guess they didn't believe me when I told them you were good."

"I did apologize."

"Don't worry about them. I'm just really glad it helped."

"Me, too." She smiled. "I think I'm about ready to go home."

"So you don't want to see what I have planned for you today?"

"I didn't say that," she told him with a smile and headed to the bathroom to get dressed.

XXX

Later that evening, Kahlan smiled as she saw another email from Hotch. She opened it and followed the link. She raised her brows at his choice. "Lonestar's 'Amazed' played and her eyes watered. That surprised her almost as much as the song he had chosen for them to dance to at their wedding. She quickly replied and sent him another song. It was still early, so she figured it would be a while before he called. She got up and went to soak in the tub to try to help relieve her aching and sore muscles. While all of the fighting she was doing was helping to erase the feelings of wanting to hurt someone, it was taking a toll on her. She wasn't in the shape she had been when she was younger. She winced as she undressed and took in all of the new and one day old bruises that were littered all over her. She shook her head. _Twenty years ago they wouldn't have even touched me!_

XXX

Hotch opened his email as soon as he got to his room. He couldn't wait to see Kahlan's reply to his choice of songs. He had to call Donna to get a few good songs to choose from, but he knew she'd be surprised by his choice. He was actually beginning to like some country. _Well, at least the love songs. _Her reply led him to another song, so he listened to it before he called her. Three Doors Down 'Here Without You' brought a smile to his face.

He took out his phone and waited for her to pick up. "Hey, Babe."

"Hey, Hun. Still in Arizona, huh?"

"Yeah. Sorry I was really hoping we'd be done by now."

"Don't worry about it. You all will catch him; you guys are the best! I can feel that you're getting close."

He smiled. She wasn't the only one who was having feelings. The chasm that had been ripped into his chest while she was gone was starting to close, and he knew that they were on their way to truly being connected again. "I listened to your song."

"Yeah? Well, I have been dreaming of you."

"Oh God." He knew what type of dreams she'd been having, and he didn't like to think he was part of them.

She chuckled. "No, not like that. My dreams have been. . . How should I put it? Ahhhh. . . Nice."

"Oh really?"

She chuckled again.

"So whatever you've been doing is working?"

"I think so."

"Thank God!"

"Yeah. I can't wait to be a nice normal family again."

"We were normal?" He asked as he chuckled.

"You better get some sleep. Maybe we'll be together in our dreams."

He smiled. "I'll see you there. I love you."

"Love you, too."

XXX

By the end of the next day, and the team had their unsub in custody. It was already late in the evening, but the whole team voted on flying home to be able to spend the night in their own beds.

Hotch finally pulled in at close to two in the morning; he frowned at the strange car in his driveway. He unlocked the door quietly and the dogs met him. "Who's here, guys?" Hotch asked them. Sampson wagged his nub quickly. Goliath jumped up on him and he could tell they were both in good moods. He eyed them warily, and then a thought hit him. "Is Mom home?" he asked them and Sampson barked quickly. Hotch would have sworn it was a 'yes'. "Shhh," he told them. He pulled off his suit jacket and set it and his briefcase down on the table. Then he went straight to the stairs leading up to his room.

He opened the door to Joey's room and realized Joey wasn't in bed. He sighed because he figured she was in asleep in his room. _Wait. Why aren't the dogs with the boys?_ He turned around and ran down to the boys' rooms. Sure enough, they weren't there either. _So who the hell's car is in the drive?_ He went back outside and looked the car over again. He finally realized it had the same plates as Kahlan's car, and he knew she had gotten a new one and transferred the plates. _Is she really here?_ He wondered as he made his way back into the house.

"Are you done running around the house?" Kahlan asked him as soon as he stepped back inside, and he jumped.

"Jesus Christ, Kahlan! You scared the shit out of me!"

She smiled at him. "Like anyone could sleep through you running around like a kid on a sugar high." She laughed at him. "If you would have called to say you were on your way home, I would have told you about the car and the kids. They're at Donna's."

"I'm sorry I woke you," he started as he stood there and studied her. "Since you're home. . . You're ok?" He asked excitedly.

She smiled again. "Yeah. I think so."

"Do I want to know how?"

"Probably not," she told him and chuckled.

He advanced on her and pulled her into a hug. "I don't care how. I'm just really glad you're here!" She hugged him back. After a few moments he pushed her away so he could see her face. "Then why aren't the kids here?"

She could see the concern in his eyes. "Because Dave called to let me know you all would be home tonight, and I thought we could use the time alone," she told him with a smile and started for the stairs. He turned, locked the door, and followed her quickly. She looked at him over her shoulder. "I didn't know it would be this late, though. You're probably dead tired."

"I actually slept a little on the jet. Why, did you want to talk?" He asked her as he followed her into their bedroom. He stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the candles that were lit around the room.

"Not exactly," she told him as she turned when she realized he had stopped. She laughed at him standing there open mouthed.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

****This chapter contains adult content. You didn't think I could write a story without it, did you?**

Hotch looked at Kahlan and blinked several times. He finally realized she was wearing a robe. His dimples shown as he smiled. "Oh really? What else did you have in mind?" He asked and then advanced on her and pulled her into a kiss.

Once she had to pull away she giggled. "That's a start," she told him and slipped off the robe.

He stared at her. She was wearing his favorite negligee. He felt his manhood twitch as his breathing hitched in his chest and his heart started racing. "Kahlan?" He licked his lips. His body burned with desire for her, but he didn't want her to rush into anything. "Are you sure?"

She giggled again and grabbed his tie and pulled him to the bed. Once they were close enough, she turned them around, forced him down on the bed on his back and started pulling on his tie to get it undone. "Oh yeah," she told him seductively as she flicked her brows at him. "I want to see if we can actually make it thunder."

He moaned and pulled her down into another kiss as she threw his tie across the room. They kissed ferociously as their need and want took over. Their tongues battled for dominance as she ripped his shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere and she reached and undid his belt and his pants. He groaned as her foot ghosted over his manhood as she pushed his pants down to his ankles. He flicked his shoes off and shook out of his pants. She pulled him up into a sitting position and pulled his shirt off of him as they kissed even more.

When he pulled away from her, he looked at her, and his hands shook a little as he reached for her again. Several times in the last two months, he had thought that he'd never be able to hold his wife again, let alone love her the way he was now. The emotional strain over it all was finally leaving him and he felt weak. She noticed his eyes had watered up. "What's wrong, Hun?"

He took a shuddering breath and pulled her into his lap in a tight embrace. "Jesus, Babe. I had thought I lost you, and then I found you, and then I thought I had lost you again. . ." He held her tighter. "I'm just so relieved to have you in my arms again!"

She returned the embrace. "I know, Aaron, and I'm so sorry for all of it."

"Don't. Don't apologize. Just let me love you."

"Always," she told him softly as she leaned into his embrace letting him hold her as long as he wanted to.

He sighed as he felt the rip in his chest heal completely.

"If you'd prefer to just hold me, I'd be happy with that, too," she told him as she looked at his face.

He took a deep breath and smiled slyly. "Oh no. I just needed a minute," he told her as he pulled the silk material of her negligee up over her thighs. He noticed several bruises on her legs. "Babe?"

She saw what he was looking at. "It's nothing," she told him quickly and forced him back down onto the bed. She started kissing a trail down his neck and onto his chest, marking his chest roughly with every kiss. He moaned at the pleasure of it. She continued the trail down his stomach and down his thighs as she pulled his boxers down. Once they were to his knees, she used her foot to remove them completely. She took his manhood into her hand and his whole body jerked. She rubbed him slowly as she leaned in and gave him another kiss. He moaned when she pulled away and nuzzled his head to the side and nibbled on the spot behind his ear. He reached up and caressed her breasts. She moaned against his ear as he pulled her gown up some more, reached under it, and rolled her nipples in his fingers. "God, Aaron! I've missed you so much!" she told him and then bit down on the bump of his skull behind his ear.

He groaned with pleasure as her teeth teased at one of his favorite spots. "I've missed you more!" He exclaimed and rolled them over. She giggled in surprise, and he pulled her gown up over her head and threw it onto the floor. He started a trail of kisses down her neck, and he saw more bruises on her. _What the hell have you been doing, Babe? _She pulled him out of his thoughts as she reached up and ran her hands through his hair, letting her nails dig in with every passionate move. She felt goose bumps cover his legs, and she giggled again. He made his way down to her breasts and spent time pleasing them with either his mouth or his hand. It was her turn to moan with pleasure. He started down her stomach and his hand made its way under her matching panties.

She gasped as his fingers teased her. She pulled at him greedily. "Please, Aaron. . ."

"What?" He smiled up at her as he pulled her panties down. "You want this?" He asked as he slid one finger into her. She arched her back and he could have sworn she almost purred. He knew what she liked.

"Yes!" She hissed between clenched teeth. He pulled his finger back out and rubbed her bundle of nerves. She bucked against him. "Aaron!" she exclaimed as she pulled on his shoulders. "Don't make me beg," she breathed. He laughed and slid two fingers in and scissored them back and forth. She squirmed with the pleasure of it. He leaned down and added his tongue. "Oh God!" she cried out. After a few moments, he pulled out and moved to kiss her inner thigh. She yelled in frustration and he laughed. He loved teasing her, but he moved in to pleasure her with his tongue some more. After a few more moments, he moved and kissed her other thigh.

Before he realized what had happened she had flipped him up over her as she flipped with him and straddled him. "You want to tease, huh?" She asked him slyly as she grabbed his delicate sack and pulled. His hips bucked and she moved down him and took him into her mouth, but only the tip. He started panting as she rubbed him with her hand and let her tongue snake its way around him. He put his hands in her hair as waves of pleasure ran through him. She released him and he moaned. She laughed. "How does it feel?" she asked as she moved up and got up on her knees. She slid herself down on him half way, and as soon as his hips rose to meet her, she pulled off of him.

"Alright! I'm sorry!" He told her quickly, as he tried to force her back down on him, but her legs were too strong.

"Oh, you'll be sorry, alright," she told him playfully as she did it again.

He was quaking. "Please, Kahlan!" He pleaded as he tried to raise himself up, but she just rose with him making sure he couldn't insert himself completely. He settled back to the bed and she reached behind her and rubbed the stop between his base and his balls. He moaned in pleasure as she slid down him a little more, and she giggled as she rose off of him again. "Alright! You win! Please, Babe!" She smiled; that's all she wanted to hear, so she lowered herself down on him completely. "Oh, God!" he yelled. She was so tight against him he almost lost all control.

She rode him slowly and deeply. She could feel him trying to make her go faster and she knew he was getting close. "Not yet!" she demanded and pulled off of him. He rolled them over and quickly used his fingers to bring her closer to the edge. He heard a gasp escape her as he angled his fingers to rub her g-spot. He smiled and took one of her breasts into his mouth. She ran her hands up and down his back letting her nails give him a little painful pleasure. He moaned again, and he was sure some of the scratches were bleeding, but he didn't care.

Once he knew she was ready he moved in between her legs. Her heat engulfed him and he rocked his hips faster. She met every one of his thrusts with one of her own and they both rode the waves of pleasure over the edge together. He thrust a few more times and then collapsed besides her, breathing just as heavily as she was. She scooted closer to him and smiled. "I'm pretty sure you made me hear thunder, and I know I felt lightning strike me," she told him as she snuggled up against him and laid her head on his chest.

He laughed and hugged her tightly.

"It's been way too long."

He smiled at her as he threw the cover over them. "Way too long," he agreed.

XXX

Hotch awoke sleepily and saw that Kahlan was still sleeping peacefully in his arms. He sighed contently because he knew that everything was actually going to be alright. He looked over at the alarm clock. It was only 7:23. He had the day off after their late return the night before, so he snuggled back up against her and to go back to sleep.

When he woke up again, his arms were empty. He looked at the clock and it was already after eleven. _Damn!_ He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and got up to go to the bathroom. He found Kahlan in the kitchen and realized that the smell of bacon cooking is what probably had woken him up.

Kahlan turned when she heard him on the steps. She smiled as she took him in. He was only wearing a pair of sweat pants. She bit her lip as she saw the marks she had left on him the night before. Hotch smiled as he realized what she was looking at. "Apparently, someone didn't eat dinner last night," he told her as he rubbed one particularly dark mark on his right peck.

She chuckled. "Then you shouldn't look good enough to eat."

He pulled her into a kiss. "Morning, Babe."

"Morning, Hun," she told him as she reached around and pinched his butt.

"Hey!" He jumped and pulled away from her. "Need any help?" He asked as he eyed the eggs and bacon.

"You can put the toast down," she told him as she flipped the bacon over.

He turned, put the toast down, and grabbed the butter out of the fridge.

"Jesus, Aaron! I'm so sorry!" she told him as she saw his back. There were several long welts and several long cuts going down his back.

"What?" He asked desperately, not knowing what she was sorry for.

"Your poor back! I guess I got a little carried away," she told him sheepishly.

"Oh. It's nothing," he told her with a smile. "Anything special planned for today?"

She turned back to the stove and smiled as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. She flicked her brows at him and he almost dropped the knife in his hand. She laughed. "We do have two months to make up for," she told him with a sly grin. "Unless you're too worn out."

He huffed. "Never!" He told her as he turned and buttered the bread as she fixed their plates. He put the toast on the plates and followed her to the table with two cups of coffee. They ate and talked, and enjoyed the rare quiet time together.

XXX

By the end of the day they were soaking in their tub. Hotch was lying in the back with Kahlan leaned up against his chest. His legs and arms both felt a little like jello, and he realized that the day's repeated activities had been the most physical exertion he had done in a long time. He sighed contently as he rubbed bubbles over Kahlan's shoulders. She craned her head to look at him. "What are you thinking?"

He smiled. "That I'm the luckiest man in the world."

Her brows furrowed. "You think that even after everything I've put you through?"

"Yes!" He told her as he hugged her to him tightly. "To have you back, makes me the luckiest man in the world," he told her and kissed her on the head.

She turned and relaxed against him again. "Then it's a good thing you said 'man' because I would have had to argue with you if you had said 'person'."

He chuckled. "God, I love you so much!" He wrapped his arms around her again.

She leaned back against him more snugly and hugged his arms. "I love you more!"

He chuckled again. _And if that's the only arguing we really do, then I am the luckiest man in the world!_ "No. I love you more!"

She laughed as she pushed his arms away from her. "No. I do!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!" He demanded as he pushed on her shoulders and dunked her under the water.

She coughed and sputtered as he broke the surface. "Ok! You win!"

He smiled at her and she relaxed against him again. "That's right!"

After a moment she turned to him again. "I want to have a cookout this weekend, and I want your team and Will and Henry to come."

He smiled. If she wanted to see the team, then he really knew things were going to be ok. "Ok, I'll tell them in the morning. I just hope we don't get a case."

Kahlan hid the smile on her face.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

After a quick case in Ohio, the team was back by Friday night. They were all looking forward to the cook out at Hotch's the following day, and they were all praying they didn't get another case.

"So what's really going on?" Rossi asked Hotch as they walked to their cars.

Hotch huffed. "I have no idea. She hasn't let on that it's anything other than it's just a cook out," Hotch told him as he pressed his unlock button.

"Then why are we on stand down?" Rossi asked him.

"What?" Hotch asked him with a look of confusion.

"You didn't know?"

Hotch shook his head. "Who said that?"

"Bob told me to enjoy my weekend of stand down right after we got back. I figured that was your doing."

Hotch had never gotten used to Rossi calling the Director of the FBI by his first name and it took him a second to figure out who he was talking about. "I don't have that kind of a connection to him like you do."

"If it wasn't you, and it wasn't me, then who?"

"Could Kahlan have done it?"

"I don't know. She does know some pretty important people," Rossi mused.

Hotch lifted his brows as he considered it. "God knows. I'll see what I can find out, though."

"Don't pressure her. Let her enjoy her fun," Rossi told him with a smile as he got in his car.

"Yeah, I guess. I'll see you tomorrow," Hotch told him as he walked to his car.

"Yep," Rossi told him and started his car and left.

Hotch spent the drive home trying to figure out what his wife was up to.

XXX

Rossi arrived first, of course, and Joey ran to meet him at the door. "Poppi!" she yelled as she jumped into his arms. Mudgie ran in the door behind him.

"Hey, Bella. You miss me?"

"Yep!" She told him with a smile so big her dimples showed.

"Does Daddy have the grill warming?"

"Yep. I get a steak, too!" She told him excitedly. Mudgie barked once and Sampson and Goliath came running. Rossi laughed at the three dogs jumping around and on each other.

"Hey, Mudgie," Wyatt told him as patted his chest. Mudgie jumped up and licked him in the face and jumped down on top of Goliath.

"If you three are going to rough house, you better do it outside," Kahlan told the dogs, and they all ran to the pet door and disappeared outside. Joey laughed and pushed her way out of Rossi arms to follow the dogs. They laughed as they watched her actually go out of the pet door, too. "Hey, Dave," Kahlan told him as she leaned and gave Rossi a kiss on the cheek.

"Wow, Kiddo, you look great!" Rossi told her as he took her in. She looked rested and happy.

"I feel great," she told him as they walked into the dining room.

"So what's this about?" he asked her suspiciously.

"I need to say thanks for everything you all did," she told him simply. He studied her but then shook his head because she never let him read her when she didn't want him to. She smiled because she knew he couldn't get anything from her. "Coffee?" She asked as she headed for the kitchen.

"I guess. I have a real drink with dinner," he told her as he followed her.

She hid a smile as she got a mug out of the cabinet.

The doorbell rang and Jack yelled that he'd get it. Reid walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Spencer," Kahlan told him as she hugged him.

He hugged her back. "It's good to see you," he told her with a smile.

"You, too," she told him. The doorbell rang again. "Just leave it open," she yelled as she saw Wyatt run to answer it.

"Aunt Peeennnn!" Wyatt yelled as he tried to get out of the hug Garcia had wrapped him in as soon as she stepped into the house. Kahlan laughed as she saw it.

"You just hush! I haven't seen you in two weeks!" Garcia told him as she held on to him. Then she noticed Kahlan standing there. She let go of Wyatt and grabbed the woman she had come to love as a sister. "Oh you. . . I . . . I. . ." she stammered not knowing what to say exactly because she hadn't seen her since before Kahlan had left.

"I'm sorry, Pen," Kahlan told her as she hugged her back tightly.

Garcia held her at arm's length and gave her a once over. "Don't be silly. My Double-O is home and safe. That's all that matters!"

They heard laughter and turned to find JJ, Will, and Henry standing in the door way. "Aunt Kay!" Henry yelled and ran up and hugged Kahlan's waist.

Kahlan reached down and hugged him back. "How's my handsome little man?" She asked him as she tasseled his long blond hair.

"I'm good. Where are Jack and Wyatt?"

"I think they're hiding from Aunt Pen outback," she told him with a smile, and they watched him run to go find them.

Kahlan turned and gave JJ and Will a hug. "Thanks for coming, guys."

"Some of that lovin better be saved for me," Morgan told her from the doorway.

Kahlan laughed and gave him a hug, too. He flashed her his famous smile. "You do know that if you ever get tired of Hotch, that I'm available, right?"

"Not if I kill you first," Hotch told him as he walked into the entryway with a smile.

"Just saying. You know, a woman has to keep her options open," Morgan joked.

"Derek, you couldn't handle everything I have to offer," Kahlan told him with a sly grin.

"Ouch!" Derek winced.

Everyone laughed.

"Come on. I think we better find some salve for that burn," Garcia told him as she grabbed Morgan's arm and pulled him toward the back door.

JJ and Will followed them. "Come on," Hotch started as he grabbed his wife's hand. He stopped, though, and looked at her hand quickly. A smile spread across his face as he saw her rings on her finger. He looked up at her.

"What? They finally fit again," she told him with a smile.

His dimples shown as he pulled her to him and kissed her passionately.

"Hey! None of that! You have guests," Rossi told them with a smile and Hotch finally pulled away from her.

"I should go put the steaks on," Hotch suggested and headed to the backyard.

"Really good timing, Dave," Kahlan joked as she grabbed his arm and took him outside.

Wyatt went around and made sure everyone had a drink and then the boys all started playing football with Morgan and Will.

Rossi joined Hotch at the grill and the ladies caught Kahlan up on all of the gossip she had missed.

"Is she a hundred percent?" Rossi asked Hotch as he watched Kahlan.

"If not, she's at least at ninety- nine," Hotch told him with a grin as he watched her, too.

XXX

After eating, everyone relaxed around the table. Joey went up and whispered into Kahlan's ear. Kahlan smiled and nodded. Hotch looked at Kahlan suspiciously, but she just grinned as she continued talking to Reid.

Rossi leaned close to Hotch. "That can't be a good."

Hotch shrugged and looked at the boys. They suddenly got up and took Henry in to play video games, and Hotch definitely knew something was up.

Joey came running back out with several envelopes in her hand. She looked at her mother and Kahlan nodded. Joey smiled and started to pass out the envelopes to the members of the team. She giggled as she handed Rossi the last one and then ran back inside.

"What's this?" Rossi asked first as everyone else looked between Hotch and Kahlan. Hotch shrugged letting them all know he had no idea what was going on.

"Just a little something to say 'thank you' to all of you for helping Aaron through that whole mess," Kahlan told them simply.

"What? There's no need. . ." JJ started but stopped as Kahlan held up her hand.

"Yes there is. I know for a fact that you all helped Hotch immensely. Had you all not found me when you did. . ." She took a deep breath. "Well, I don't even want to consider what would have happened." She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts that crossed her mind. "You will open them and you will accept what is in them without argument," she told them with authority.

They all eyed her warily. "Well, you heard the boss," Hotch told them with a smile as he got up and went to stand behind his wife.

They all looked at Rossi expecting him to put a stop to whatever Kahlan had concocted. "If she's his boss, and he's our boss, then I guess we better listen."

Kahlan smiled with satisfaction. "That's right."

"There's no stopping Double-O once she sets her mind to something," Garcia told them and opened her envelope.

They all laughed and opened their envelopes, too. Garcia was the first to suck in her breath. She looked at the piece of paper in her hands and looked at Kahlan quickly. "What? How? When did. . ." She stammered.

"No way!" Morgan yelled as he looked at his piece of paper. He looked at Kahlan. "You did not. . ." He started as he shook his head and looked back at the paper.

"Oh my God!" JJ and Will both exclaimed once they read hers.

Hotch noticed Reid was actually speechless and that never happened.

Rossi hadn't even opened his yet. He was too busy watching everyone else. Hotch was just as interested, but no one was saying anything anymore.

Kahlan laughed. "Well that went better than planned," she told Hotch as she looked up at him with a smile.

"What went as planned? I want in on it," Hotch told her as he stared at his team trying to figure out what they had found in the envelopes.

Kahlan laughed again. Garcia looked at Kahlan with tears in her eyes. Kahlan looked at her watch. "It should be installed by now," Kahlan told her with a smile.

"In my lair?" She asked flabbergasted. Kahlan nodded. Garcia jumped up and pulled Kahlan up and into a hug. She handed the paper to Hotch.

Hotch looked at it. "Yeah. Ok. Like I'm supposed to know what that is," Hotch told her dryly. Everyone else had looked up to see what Garcia had gotten, too.

"It's the Sequoia," Garcia told them and they could all hear the awe in her voice. She could tell by their looks, though, that they had no clue what that was. "It's like the fastest computer in the world! It can do 16.32 petaflops per second! And it runs Linux."

"Well, yours is a scaled down version, but it will still put every other FBI computer to shame," Kahlan told her with a smile. "Cam helped me pick it out. It will also run the data needed to use satellite footage."

"Oh my. Oh my." Garcia started and Hotch moved her back to her seat.

"Just breathe, Garcia," he told her as he laughed at her response. The all knew how having satellite capability could impact their cases.

"A computer is one thing, but this is just too much!" Morgan told her.

"It's not _a_ computer; it is _the_ computer! What did you get?" Garcia asked, not believing anything could top her gift.

"You don't like it?" Kahlan asked him quickly.

Morgan ran a hand over his head. "Is this for real?"

"Yes, but it is in horrible shape. I really hope you're up for it," she told him as she sat back down.

"What?" JJ asked.

"I'm now the proud owner of an 1843 Victorian outside of Manassas," he told them and grinned.

"It was used during the Civil War," Kahlan told him.

Morgan shook his head and passed around the picture that had accompanied the deed.

"Wow!" Garcia exclaimed as she looked at the house. "But mine's still better!"

"Damn, Derek. You can throw one hell of a party in that thing once you get it done," Will told him as he and JJ looked at the house.

"What did you get?" Morgan asked JJ.

JJ looked at the piece of paper in her hand and teared up. Will squeezed her shoulder. "A college fund for Henry," he told them.

"It will cover whatever the cost and is guaranteed at any school within the US," Kahlan explained.

"Wow," Reid started. "Tuition in 2027 is estimated to be over $65,000 a year!"

JJ actually started crying. "No. We can't. . ."

"I said no arguments," Kahlan told her roughly. "There's another piece of paper under that one."

JJ looked at her questioningly as Will used his fingers to separate the pieces of paper. He showed it to JJ and the look of shock on her face made Kahlan smile. JJ glanced at Will and he shrugged. She looked back at Kahlan. "How could you know?"

Kahlan smiled. "I have been there a couple times myself, you know, but you don't have to say anything right now if you don't want to."

Everyone else at the table was giving each other looks, they had no idea what wasn't being said. JJ looked at Will again. He smiled. "You have to tell them now."

JJ smiled as she took in her extended family. "Kahlan has given us two college funds."

Smiled started as it dawned on almost everyone what was implied. Reid looked at JJ confusingly. "Two? Henry's going to two colleges?"

"Oh my God!" Garcia exclaimed as she jumped up and pulled JJ into a hug.

"What?" Reid asked quickly.

Kahlan shook her head at him. "You know, for being so smart, sometimes you have no clue."

"What?" Reid asked again as Morgan took his turn at hugging JJ and shaking Will's hand.

JJ went to Reid and hugged him. "You're going to be a Godfather again."

Reid's look of shock turned into a wide grin. "That's great JJ! When are you due?'

"Seven months. I didn't want to ruin Kahlan's party by announcing it here." She turned to Kahlan. "I'm sorry."

"That kind of news is always a welcome addition!" Kahlan told her as she hugged her. "I didn't mean to make you announce it. I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds."

"Of course not!" Will told her as she hugged him. "Now Joey with have someone to play with."

They all laughed as Rossi and Hotch took their turns at congratulating the couple.

Finally Kahlan looked at Reid. "You don't like yours?" She asked him worriedly.

"What?" Reid asked her. "Of course! How could anyone not love it?"

"What? What did you get?" Garcia asked him excitedly.

"A chess set that belonged to Albert Einstein," he told them with awe.

"He only ever played one game publicly, but I understand that he appreciated the game because it reminded him how not to think," Kahlan told him with a smile.

"Huh?" Morgan asked.

"He thought that chess trapped a person's brain into a set of rules and plays. Whereas he preferred to think outside the box, if you will," Reid explained.

Kahlan smiled; she knew he'd know. "You shouldn't think too much, in other words."

They all laughed at that, they knew how that statement had helped find her, but she probably didn't.

They all turned to Rossi. "Are you going to even open yours?" Garcia asked him once she realized that his envelope was still closed.

"I got so caught up in watching you guys," he started and then ripped his open. His eyes got wide as he read what was being described on the piece of paper.

"What?" JJ asked him.

"How?" He asked Kahlan seriously.

Everyone looked at Kahlan. "What do you mean?" She asked him.

"There were only three bottles even made. One bottle was kept by the company and the other two were sold in 2010."

"And?"

Rossi studied her. "If they were already sold, how did you get your hands on one?"

Kahlan gave him a sly smile. "Maybe I know the guy in the US who bought it."

"What?" Garcia yelled.

Rossi turned the piece of paper over and showed them the bottle of scotch. "It's one of the Dalmore 64 Trintas. It comes from the Dalmore Distillery in the highlands of Inverness, Scotland." He finally smiled. "It's comes from a mix that's been distilled for over 140 years."

"And yet, I bet it still tastes like shit," Kahlan told him with a grin as she finished off her beer.

"Wow! I thought 35 year old scotch was rare," Hotch told them.

"You have no idea," Rossi told him.

"You want it now?" Kahlan asked as she stood up.

Rossi was shocked. "I'm not opening that!"

They all laughed. "What's the point of having a bottle of liquor if you're not going to drink it?" Kahlan asked him.

"What's the point of having all those toys in your den?"

"I at least played with them at one time. I didn't buy them and put them on a shelf to stare at."

"Well. . . You just stay away from that bottle. I'll have to save it for something special."

Kahlan shook her head as she smiled at him and went inside to get another beer.

As soon as the door shut behind her they all fixed Hotch with a look. "What?" Hotch asked them as he sat in the chair Kahlan had vacated. "I had nothing to do with any of this."

"Seriously, man, how could she do all of this?" Morgan asked him quietly.

"She has a great broker," is all Hotch offered. He knew she had her own money when they first got together, but he never knew how much. "I would suggest you accept it and don't bring it up again."

"Why? Why would she go to these lengths?" JJ asked him seriously.

Hotch smiled. "Because she knows how important you all are, and she loves you."

"And she's Kahlan," Reid told them as if that explained it all.

They all laughed because it actually did.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

It was late by the time everyone had left. The kids were already passed out in their beds after all of the activity of the day. Kahlan and Hotch were snuggled up on the couch; the tv was on but they weren't watching it. Hotch looked at her. "Alright, what's going on?" He asked her. He could tell she was keeping something from him, and it wasn't just the surprises from the BBQ.

She smiled as she sat up a little to look at him better. "What?"

He studied her, but he couldn't get anything from her. _Like I ever could unless she lets me!_ "What aren't you telling me?"

"Have you been asked into any meetings out of the ordinary?"

He sat up and she had to shift away from him some more. "No. Why?"

Her brows furrowed. "Then don't worry about it. Enjoy your weekend off with your family," she told him as she tried to snuggle back up against him.

He pushed her away, though, so he could still see her face. "That was you. How?"

She sighed but smiled again. "Your Director wants to meet with me, and the only way I would agree is if he gave you all the weekend off."

His initial look of shock slowly turned into one of concern. "Why would he want to meet with you?"

"I don't know," she told him honestly. "But if it's about you using the team and the jet to find me, I will take care of it."

Hotch's eyes darted around as he tried to figure out what it all meant. "I don't think so. Rossi took care of all that before. Besides, he received a lot of kudos for one his teams actually taking out the elusive Mordecai. From what I hear, the CIA was actually jealous," Hotch told her with a grin, but his stomach was doing flips over not knowing what the Director wanted.

"Stop worrying. Maybe he just wants. . ." She shook her head. "I have no idea what he wants, but if he didn't tell you about it, it must not be bad."

He nodded slowly as he relaxed against the couch again.

"It's pretty awesome JJ's having another baby."

"Yeah, but it's about time someone else on the team settled down and started a family. There should be more than two families with kids."

"Oh, I think Reid is getting close."

He pushed her away again. "What?"

"You didn't see him texting on his phone under the table all night?"

Hotch furrowed his brows. "No."

She laughed. "Who else could have his attention besides a girl? I can't believe you all haven't noticed."

Hotch chuckled. "He has been a little goofy lately. I'll have to ask JJ if she knows anything."

"Or Pen. She always knows these things."

"Speaking of Garcia, do you get the feeling that her and Cameron are getting a little closer?"

"What?" She asked as she sat up to look at him. It was her turn to be shocked.

He laughed. _Ha! I know something that she doesn't!_ "It's just they really seem to be. . . I don't know," he told her as he shook his head. He hadn't told her about the two of them saying in Garcia's lair to help him find her, but ever since then, he had the feeling they were a little closer.

She smiled. "They would make a great couple."

"Yeah. If they have kids, they'll be born with computers in their hands."

She laughed. "Then that means we need to find Morgan someone."

"And Dave."

"Don't you worry about Dave. He's just fine."

He studied her face again. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why do you think he hasn't been over here every night that you all have been home?"

Hotch smiled. "You know who?"

She shook her head. "Nope, and I don't think he wants anyone to know; so just let him be."

He relaxed against the couch again. "We'll have to throw another party next month and see if anyone brings a date."

She relaxed against him. "Yep."

XXX

When Hotch got to his office Monday morning, there was a message waiting for him. The Director wanted to see him at ten. His stomach sank. _Shit! Maybe there is something wrong._ He quickly went to Rossi's office. "You know anything about this?" He asked Rossi as he showed him the message.

Rossi took the little piece of paper and his brows furrowed as he read it, and Hotch knew he didn't. Rossi looked at him with concern. "Why would Bob want to see you?"

"He wants to see Kahlan, too," Hotch told him as he sat down.

"What?" Rossi asked excitedly.

Hotch shook his head. "She doesn't know why either. I was really hoping he had said something to you."

"You wait till I see him. We even played golf yesterday, and he didn't say anything."

"That probably means it's something bad if he didn't share it with you," Hotch told him and his stomach sank even lower. All of a sudden he wished he hadn't eaten breakfast.

"Don't get upset until you know there's a reason to be. It could be anything," Rossi said as he tried to sound positive.

Hotch swallowed hard. He had never had a personal meeting with the director. He had been in meetings with him, but they had consisted of meeting with all Unit chiefs and such. "Think he'd care if I brought you?" Hotch joked.

Rossi laughed as he picked up his phone. "Hey, Kitten," he said as soon as Garcia picked up.

"What can I do you for, my Italian Stallion?"

"Think you can use that newfangled computer of yours to hack into the Director's daily agenda without anyone knowing?"

Hotch's eyes went wide with shock. "I am not hearing this!" He told Rossi quickly as he got up and left his office.

Rossi smiled after him.

"Oh I think I could. What do you need?" Garcia told him and he knew she had a smile on her face.

"He has a meeting with Hotch at ten. See if there are any notes as to why."

"He wants to see Hotch?" Her shocked tone made Rossi smile.

"Yeah."

"K. I'll call you back as soon as I have anything," she told him and ended the call.

_What are you up to, Bob?_ He didn't have to wait long, though, as his phone rang within five minutes.

"I don't know about Hotch. All I can find is a meeting between the Director and the DNI scheduled for ten," Garcia told him with awe.

_Oh, Shit!_ "Thanks, Kitten," Rossi told her and went to see Hotch. He pursed his lips as he wondered what it all meant. He thought about not telling Hotch, but he knew Hotch hated surprises like that. He also knew Hotch would want to prepare to meet the Director of National Intelligence. Rossi almost envied him; he had never met the man.

As soon as Rossi entered Hotch's office, Hotch knew there was something wrong. "What?" Hotch asked him as he stood up quickly.

"I think it's more about Kahlan than it is about you."

"Why?"

"Because the DNI is going to be in the meeting, too."

Hotch sank down into his chair. "Oh God. You think they've found out what she's done?"

Rossi sat down in his usual chair. "I would think that if she was in trouble, they would have gone to her."

Hotch considered that for a moment, and the image of his wife being escorted away under guard filled his mind.

"If Chuck and his buddies were taking care of everything, they have to know already, Aaron. They wanted the man dead. We just did what they couldn't do."

"Yeah, but was it sanctioned? Christ, what if they were just trying to hide it all?"

Rossi could tell Hotch's thoughts were getting way too dark. "Calm down, Aaron. You didn't just get her back for something else to happen."

"Karma's a bitch, Dave."

"That would imply that you or Kahlan have done something to deserve it, and you haven't! Stop jumping to conclusions!"

"I can't help it. Lately, every time I think things are going to be alright, something happens."

"If you all were going to face any recoil, then you would have heard about it before now. I don't have a bad feeling about this."

Hotch took a deep breath. "Alright. I better call Kahlan and let her know," Hotch told him as he picked up his phone.

"Besides, maybe Kahlan knows the DNI. She might even have a file or two on him," he joked but was serious because he remembered his conversation with her in his car over three years ago when she told him how she got out of being called back into active service. He got up and let Hotch talk to his wife privately.

"Hey, Hun," Kahlan said as soon as she answered.

"Hey, Babe."

"What's wrong?" she asked quickly because of his tone.

"Apparently the Director also wants to see me."

"Oh."

"And the DNI is going to be there."

"What?" She asked quickly.

"Yeah."

"I see."

"Do you know Director Clapper?"

"Clapper? Clapper," she repeated and he could tell she was trying to remember. "Was he in the Air Force?"

He smiled. "Yes, I believe so."

"If it's the same guy, he was a major back when Tenet was the DCI, but I met him once or twice."

"What do you think this is about?"

"I honestly don't know, Aaron, but if it's trouble, I will make sure nothing happens to you for it."

Hotch wasn't sure how she was going to do that, but he wasn't worried about himself as much as he was worried about her. "I was really hoping you had some idea of what was going on."

"Sorry, Hun. It seems like I can't stop messing things up."

"Just stop." He suddenly felt like Rossi, and it made him smile. "Let's not jump to conclusions. We'll face this together."

She chuckled. "And nothing can stop us when we face it together."

"That's right!" He chuckled, too. "I'll see you when you get here."

"Yep."

"Love you."

"I love you, too, Aaron," she told him and ended the call.

XXX

Hotch nervously made it through the next couple of hours taking care of files that needed his attention.

"Hey, you," Kahlan said with a smile from his doorway.

Her voice startled him because he didn't realize she had shown up. "Damn, woman. You have to sneak up on me at work, too?" He asked with a smile as he got up and walked to her.

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You ready to go find out what all of this is about?"

He took a deep breath. "Yep," he told her and led the way to the Director office. "Have you ever met Director Mueller?"

She shook her head. "Nope. What's he like?"

Hotch huffed. "You should have asked Dave that. I really don't know him."

"Well, if Dave likes him, he's got to be decent," she figured as she followed him onto the elevator. As soon as the doors shut, she pulled him into a real kiss. When the doors opened, they were behaving themselves again. Hotch took a deep breath as he led her down the hallway to the Directors office. "Damn, Aaron, calm down. You're starting to make me nervous."

He smiled art her sheepishly. "Sorry, but meeting my boss's, boss's, boss, kind of unsettles me a bit."

"They're just men, Aaron. Just like you. Besides, you know they love the work you do," she tried to reassure him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose for a second and took a deep breath. "Alright, let's do this."

Hotch was about ready to introduce himself to the Director's assistant, but as soon as she saw the couple walk into the office she stood up and smiled. "The Director is ready for you," she told them and walked to the door and opened it to allow them entry.

Hotch squeezed Kahlan's hand quickly, but let it go as he motioned for her to go in first. She shot him with a look. She wasn't sure if it was him being a gentleman or if he just wanted to make her go in first. As soon as she stepped into the office she recognized the man who had been observing her at the gym with the Seals. She also took in the other man seated at table, and while she couldn't be positive, she thought it was the man she remembered.

Both men stood up. "Mrs. Hotchner," Director Mueller started as he came around the table to shake her hand.

"You must be Director Mueller. Dave tells me you're a mean golfer," she lied with a smile.

He laughed. "He's just being generous," he told her as he let her hand go and motioned to the man beside him. "This is. . ."

"DNI Clapper," Kahlan finished for him. "We've met."

Clapper smiled and took her hand. "It has been a while."

She smiled at him. "Yeah, time flies when you're having fun." She let go of his hand and turned to Hotch. "This is my husband, SSA Aaron Hotchner,"

Clapper shock Hotch's hand. "It's nice to finally meet you, Agent Hotchner. I've heard many great things about you."

"Thank you, Sir." Hotch told him nervously.

"Please have a seat," Director Mueller told them as he motioned to the two chairs across from him. With a glance at each other, Kahlan and Hotch sat down.

"So what can we do for you gentleman?" Kahlan asked quickly as she crossed her legs and leaned back in the chair, completely comfortable. She had dealt with a lot of powerful men in her time, and she knew how to handle them. She noticed Hotch quick look of surprise, but he hid it behind his work face before the others had a chance to see it.

Clapper laughed. "I see you haven't changed much."

Mueller studied her, and Hotch could have sworn that Mueller seemed a little nervous. "I was talking to Director Clapper about your. . . training exercise the other day," he started.

Kahlan noticed Hotch's quick glance at her and she winced mentally. "Yeah, and why is that?"

"Well, I did some checking after I found out who you were."

Kahlan noticed Hotch tense ever so slightly.

"And?" She asked with a grin, knowing he probably hadn't found out anything.

Clapper smiled. "That's why he came to me. Any leads he found led him to my office."

"Really?" Kahlan asked with mock surprise. She then knew that Clapper didn't really know anything about her either.

Mueller licked his lips. "Well, it was obvious that you know your stuff. I would like to offer you a job."

She leaned forward a little. Hotch could tell that had shocked her a little. Clapper chuckled. "Actually I had wanted to offer you a job, but since Bob already has your husband, he argued that he got to have first dibs on you."

Kahlan looked at the two men slowly. "You act like a couple boys arguing over a bike. I can assure you, I am no one's property," she told them seriously. Hotch had to hide a smile, he knew the men had noticed the edge in her voice.

"That's not what I meant at all!" Clapper told her as he held up his hands in submission.

"It's just that. . ." Mueller started and then shook his head and turned to Hotch. Hotch sat up a little straighter. "Agent Blake has turned in her resignation to be effective immediately after her medical leave is over. She has decided to join her husband in Boston."

Hotch didn't try to hide his shock at the news. His eyes darted to Kahlan and he started to understand what the meeting was about. "And you think you have found a replacement, Sir?"

Mueller smiled at him and then turned to Kahlan. "If Mrs. Hotchner wants it, the spot is hers."

All three of the men looked to her, but her face revealed nothing. Hotch wasn't sure what to think about it. Mueller was smiling, hoping she would accept the offer, and Clapper was silently hoping she would turn it down so he could snatch her up.

She looked at the two men and then turned to Hotch.

"If you need a moment alone to discuss this. . ." Mueller started as he stood up, ready to leave and give them his office.

She held up a hand as she finally looked away from Hotch. "While it is flattering that you would even consider me for such a position, Director Mueller, I really do have to decline."

"What?" Mueller asked as he sat back down dejectedly, obviously shocked she had turned him down. Clapper smiled. "But you'd be. . ." he started.

"Leaving our children in the hands of someone else with every case," she finished his thought with one of her own. "Sometimes Aaron is away too much. I would never want both of us to put them through that," she told him in a tone that warned him of arguing with her. Hotch smiled to let her know he agreed.

"Ha! I told you, Bob," Clapper told him as he patted him on the shoulder. "My turn," he started and fixed Kahlan with a look.

"And I don't think I even want to know what you're offering. I have a family that I love, and I don't want to go God knows where to do God knows what and leave them."

Clapper shook his head. "I wouldn't dream of asking you to do that," he told her with a smile.

She relaxed back into her chair a little and studied him.

"After talking to Bob about what he saw, I talked with Major Jones and found out what he thought of you."

Kahlan winced mentally again. Major Joshua Jones was Chuck's buddy in command of Seal Team Two. "And?"

Clapper glanced at Hotch, he had figured that Hotch had known about the exercise, but he was getting the feeling that he didn't. "He was thoroughly impressed, and after talking to a few more people, I would like to hire you on as a consultant."

She eyed him warily. "In what capacity?"

Hotch looked back and forth between Kahlan and the DNI. He was starting to understand where the bruises Kahlan had had last week had come from. He couldn't figure out who they were talking about, and what type of exercise they had done, but he knew the two men in front of him were impressed. His alpha howled as his chest swelled to know the two powerful men wanted his wife. _My wife!_

"As a trainer, teacher, mentor, you know, help out where it's needed." Kahlan started to shake her head. "But just here at Quantico, and only for a couple hours a day or whatever you could fit it in. You would have complete control over your own schedule."

Kahlan bit her lip as she considered his words. "Since I would be working for you, I assume I would be handling more than just the agencies here at Quantico."

"Of course. Any that come under my control could request your services."

"And I would have complete control? I could turn down anything down I didn't like?"

He smiled; he knew he was getting close to 'yes.' "Absolute control." She glanced at Hotch, and he shrugged. "And, of course, you would be compensated nicely," he added.

Kahlan stood up, and Hotch stood up, too. He wasn't exactly sure who could call the meeting to a close, but he stood by his wife. The two Directors also stood up. She smiled at Clapper. "I need some time to discuss this with Aaron and to think it over. I'll call you once I have reached a decision."

Clapper smiled and handed her his card. "My cell number is on the back."

Kahlan took the card, slid it into her back pocket and smiled at the two men. "Director Mueller," she stuck out her hand to him. He took it with a smile. "It was nice to meet you."

"My pleasure," he told her.

She stuck out her hand to the DNI. "Jim," he took it with a smile, too. Hotch almost balked at her using his first name. "It was nice seeing you again. I'll let you know by Wednesday."

"I can't wait," he told her and turned to Hotch.

He stuck out his hand. "Keep up the great work Agent."

Hotch shook his hand. "Of course, Sir."

Kahlan turned to walk towards the door. Hotch glanced at his director who nodded, and Hotch quickly caught up with his wife.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

Hotch and Kahlan walked back to the elevator in silence. She pulled on his arm to make him look at her once they were behind the closed door and headed down. "What are you thinking?"

He took a deep breath. He was thinking a million things, and he didn't know where to start. "I'm still a little in shock over the whole thing," he admitted.

She gave him a small smile. She knew he'd want to process everything before he'd want to talk about it, so she didn't press him. The elevator opened to his floor. "I better let you get to work. We can talk when you get home." She leaned up and gave him a kiss.

He smiled at her. "Alright. Love you."

"Love, you, too," she told him and then left.

Rossi noticed Kahlan leave, waited a minute or two, and then went to Hotch's office. He found Hotch sitting at his desk, and he noticed Hotch was thinking. Rossi cleared his throat and Hotch snapped out of his thoughts. "So?"

"Blake has resigned," Hotch started.

Rossi sat down in his usual seat. "Doesn't really surprise me, but that can't be all they wanted to talk to. . ." Rossi's eyes suddenly got wide. "Is that what they wanted? They wanted to offer Kahlan the job?"

Hotch smiled. "Director Mueller did."

"But Kahlan turned him down because of the kids."

Hotch smiled again. "Yeah, and I think it actually shocked him."

"He's not used to getting turned down by anyone. What did the DNI want?"

"He offered her another job."

"He wants her back? Kahlan wouldn't allow that. She wouldn't. . ."

"Not that job."

"Then what?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but he wants her as a consultant right here in Quantico."

"Wow. I wouldn't have thought he really knew what she was."

Hotch chuckled. "He doesn't, but apparently Mueller saw Kahlan doing what he referred to as a 'training exercise' with some Major Jones guy. That made him find out about her, and that led him to the DNI, and then the DNI did some checking and apparently found out enough about her to want her. That, and she did know him. She had met him when she was active a couple of times, but he apparently didn't know what she was then either."

Rossi raised his brows as he nodded. "And what did she say?'

"She told him she'd think about it and let him know by Wednesday."

"What do you think she'll do?"

Hotch shrugged.

"Will it bother you if she takes it?" He didn't think it would, but he had to ask.

Hotch balked. "Of course not. She can do anything she wants. I did like that it would be right here at home, though."

Rossi smiled. "Joey will be going to school soon. It would probably be nice for Kahlan to have something to do."

Hotch nodded. "The only time I have ever heard her talk about a job was when Joey was still a baby and she was talking to Donna. I overheard her say that she had had enough adventure to last her two life times, but I can't picture her in an empty house day in and day out either."

Rossi smiled as another thought hit him. "If she works for the DNI, does that mean we could use her if we need her?"

Hotch smiled. "He said any agency under his command could use her."

"Damn. I can think of a couple of cases when it would have been nice to get her help."

Hotch just smiled. He had never gotten the chance to work with her outside of when they found Wyatt, but he hadn't got to work with her closely then, either. The only other time she had worked with the team was in the beginning and they were looking for him, but he knew the whole team was impressed with her. "It would be nice to see her in action."

Rossi smiled wider. "Even with as well as you know her, I think you'd be pleasantly surprised."

"Or scared." Hotch joked.

Rossi laughed and then got serious. "So what are you going to do about the open spot?"

"I guess I'll start looking at transfers again. You have anyone in mind?"

Rossi shook his head. "I'll keep my eyes open, though."

Garcia stuck her head in the door. "We have a case."

"Of course we do," Hotch said as he stood up.

Rossi could see Hotch's disappointment. He knew he wanted to be able to go home and talk to Kahlan about everything face to face. "Just bring your laptop and video chat with her," he told him as he patted his shoulder.

Hotch nodded as he followed Rossi to the conference room.

XXX

Once they were on the jet and headed to Georgia, Hotch texted Kahlan to let her know. She told him to call her once he was settled for the night. She ended by telling him to be safe. Hotch sighed. _It's going to be a long day._

XXXXX

A couple weeks later, Hotch and Kahlan had a party to celebrate Jack's and Joey's birthdays and everyone in their extended family was invited. Hotch also thought it would be a great time for Jamie MacAleese, or Mack as the team had taken to calling the newest member of the BUA team, to get to know her teammates outside of work. Hotch was also silently hoping that it would help her to be more comfortable around him. The young woman seems to actually be afraid of her Unit Chief.

"Hey, Babe, where is the ice cooler?" Hotch yelled from the garage.

"Top shelf on the right. Just where you put it after the last time you used it," Kahlan yelled from the kitchen with a smile.

Hotch smiled as he walked in holding the cooler.

"What? I couldn't put it there. I can't even reach that shelf," she told him with a smile as she put the last finishing touches on the food that was laid out in the kitchen and dining room. "Go get Joey in, so she can get changed. I'm sure she's probably covered in dirt."

Hotch smiled. "She's a big tomboy just like her mother."

Kahlan scoffed. "I was never dirty."

Hotch chuckled as he shook his head. He actually couldn't imagine Kahlan covered in dirt, she never even liked to get anything on her hands. "I guess she gets that from me then." Kahlan laughed as she watched him step outside to find their daughter. After a few moments, Hotch came back in looking a little paler than usual.

"What?" Kahlan asked quickly after seeing him.

"You better go out and get her."

"Oh my God. Is she on the roof again?" Kahlan asked as she sat down a tray of utensils.

Hotch paled even more. "She's been on the roof?"

Kahlan winced. She hadn't meant to tell him about that.

Hotch sighed. "She might as well be with as far up in that tree as she is."

Kahlan visibly relaxed. "Oh." She chuckled. "Damn, Aaron, didn't you ever climb a tree when you were little?"

"Not that high. I saw her up there, and I think my heart skipped a couple beats. I couldn't say anything because I was afraid she'd fall."

She chuckled. "She won't fall. Kids don't have any fear." She went to him and put her hand on his cheek. "Calm down, Aaron, I'll get her."

He nodded as he sat down at the table. Kahlan stepped out of the door and looked up at her daughter. She had to hide her smile. "Angelique Josette! Get your butt out of that tree and get in here before you cause your father to have a heart attack."

Hotch could hear Joey's laughter from in the house. Kahlan came back in. "She's on her way down."

Within minutes, Joey came running through the door with a grin on her face. "Sowy, Daddy," she told him as she jumped in his lap.

He hugged her tightly. "Please don't go up that high again."

She grinned. "I won't when your home," she told him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

He shook his head. "Mommy said it's time for you to get changed," he told her as he sat her down. She giggled and ran to her bedroom. Hotch shook his head some more as he watched her leave.

"And wash your face and hands!" Kahlan yelled after her as she took Joey's place on Hotch's lap.

"She's going to be the death of me."

Kahlan chuckled. "Probably not until she's a teenager, but yeah, eventually," she joked.

Hotch sighed. He didn't want to think about those years, yet. He smiled at his wife. "I can't wait until you meet Mack."

"I think I'll like Jamie," Kahlan told him with a sly grin.

"Wait. How do you know her first name?"

Kahlan tried to get up but he held her and studied her face. "What? She's responsible for watching my husband's back. I couldn't not check her out."

Hotch shook his head slowly. "Anything I should know?"

"Nothing that you don't probably already know," she told him and got up when the doorbell rang.

Hotch smiled as he watched her walk away. He should have known she do something like that.

Kahlan led Reid and a young lady into the dining room. Hotch stood up quickly at seeing Reid's date. He smiled warmly at her. "Hotch, Kahlan, this is Amy Baker. Amy, this is my boss Aaron Hotchner, or Hotch as we call him, and his wife Kahlan." They all shook hands and Kahlan continued to talk to the young couple as Hotch went to answer the door when the doorbell rang again.

JJ and her family came in and Reid introduced them to Amy. Kahlan went to yell for the boys. She then went to be a gracious hostess and got everyone a drink. Within minutes the boys came running up the stairs as they continued their attacks on each other with Nerf guns. The doorbell rang and Hotch went to get it as several foam darts shot past his head. "If you two don't stop! I'm gonna. . ." Hotch started with a scowl as he opened the door. Mack swallowed hard as she took her new boss's face. "Oh, hey, Mack. Glad you could come," Hotch told her as he held the door open for her to come in.

Kahlan walked up behind Hotch and noticed the look of terror on the young woman's face. "Stop scaring that poor girl!" She yelled at Hotch as she shoved him out of the way.

"I didn't. . ." Hotch started.

"Hi, Jamie. I'm Kahlan Hotchner, and you'll have to excuse him, he's bark is much worse than his bite," Kahlan told her with a smiled as she pulled her husband's newest team member into the house.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hotchner." She turned to Hotch. "Sir."

Hotch shook his head. _So much for trying to make her more comfortable._

"Kahlan, please, or Kay, and you do not have to call him, sir." Kahlan told her as she shot a dirty look at Hotch.

"I've told her that a hundred times already," Hotch told her as he tried to defend himself.

"Hey, Mack," Garcia said as she came in through the opened door. Hotch and Kahlan saw the young woman actually smile as she took in the tech; everyone always liked Garcia.

"Hey, Pen. Why don't you show Mack around and introduce her to anyone she doesn't know," Kahlan suggested.

"Oh, sure," Garcia said as she grabbed Mack's arm and led her into the house.

Morgan snuck up behind Kahlan, and as soon as he was going to grab her, she deftly moved to avoid his embrace. Hotch laughed as Morgan stumbled a little as he tried to stop himself from falling. "Give it up, Morgan. You'll never be able to do it either," Hotch told him as he smiled at his wife.

"I really thought I had her that time," Morgan grinned.

"If I can't even do it, there's no way you'll be able to," Chuck told him as he walked up behind Morgan. Morgan jumped when he heard him.

"Jesus Christ, Chuck! You almost made my heart stop!" Morgan told him as Hotch and Kahlan laughed.

"Hey Vennie," Kahlan said as she smiled at Chuck's girlfriend. The Swedish extreme sport athlete matched Chuck perfectly. They had seen her a few times over the years, but that was the third time in the last three months, and Kahlan had the feeling things were starting to get a little more serious between them.

"Hey, Kay." The tall blond haired woman said as she came in through the door. She turned to Morgan. "So where is this new girl we've all been hearing about?" she asked Morgan.

"Mina will be here as soon. She just got back to town this morning," he told them all. Hotch could tell that Morgan was really starting to like the woman that Kahlan had introduced him too.

Before the door could be closed, Sean and his wife showed up. Hotch hugged his brother and Kahlan hugged her very pregnant sister-in-law. "I'm really glad you two could make it," Hotch told the young couple.

"Well of course we did. I haven't missed one of the kids' birthdays for three years, and I'm not about to start missing them again," Sean told him.

"Uncle, Sean!" Joey yelled as she jumped into his arms. "I mist you!"

Sean laughed as he carried her into the dining room and Michelle followed him as Wyatt and Jack ran up to greet them, too.

Within thirty minutes, Kahlan's sisters and their prospective families and Cameron had shown up. Kahlan smiled as she watched Cameron go and stand beside Garcia. Kahlan's mother finally made it about ten minutes later, and before Hotch could shut the door behind her, Rossi put his foot in it to stop it from closing all the way. Hotch noticed the smile on Rossi's face as he watched Kahlan's mother walk to the dining room to join her daughters. Hotch looked between the two and noticed that Rossi actually blushed a little. Hotch raised his brows, and Rossi just shook his head. "Shut up, Aaron," Rossi told him as he joined the rest of the crowd. Within another ten minutes, Morgan's new girl 'friend' arrived, too, and everyone was finally there.

All of the kids were playing in the yard; most of the men were gathered around the deck and patio furniture discussing the latest football games; and most of the women were in the kitchen and dining room enjoying catching each other up on all the latest news.

Kahlan went around to check on everyone and found Hotch sitting on the stairs. He smiled at her as she sat down next to him as. "What are you thinking?"

"That we couldn't fit one more person in this house," he told her with a chuckle.

"No, seriously, why are you sitting here, away from everyone? Is everything alright?"

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "It is really nice to have the whole family together for a change." He sighed contentedly. "Everyone has someone except Mack."

"She's young and focused on her career right now, let her be. I see Dave didn't bring his new woman. He must really be bent on keeping her a secret."

Hotch smiled widely. "He didn't have to bring her; she's already here."

Kahlan studied his face and then looked to the people she could see. It finally dawned on her and she raised her brows as her eyes got a little wider. Hotch chuckled at her response. She looked back towards the dining room and then back at her husband. "Mom?"

Hotch laughed.

She smiled as she snuggled back up to him. "You know, with all of these people here, we couldn't ask for a more perfect family."

Hotch smiled. _My thoughts, exactly!_

**The End**

**Stay tuned for the next installment with this wonderful family! (it might be a little while, though, as I'm still fleshing it out)**


End file.
